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AEW COLLISION – HITS & MISSES
FEBRUARY 8, 2025
HOUSTON, TEXAS
AIRED ON TNT AND MAX
BY AUGUST STRACHAN (DAVID BRYANT’S HOT, FLEXIBLE FIANCÉ)
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Nigel McGuiness
– Hey! Welcome back to another edition of David Bryant’s AEW Collision Hits & Misses column — the best place to find the worst takes!
A QUICK NOTE FROM DAVID:
Hi! This is your friend/enemy/frenemy David Bryant speaking! Due to the extenuating circumstance of my dog having eaten my laptop, desktop, and vintage typewriter, I am unable to write this week’s column, but fear not! My fiancé, a hot, twinky, 22-year-old ballet dancer-turned-actor who has white teeth and impressive abdominal muscles will be stepping in to write this week’s column for me. Also, he is blond, and his hair is soft.
Hello! And thank you to my fiancé David Bryant for that stellar introduction that I in no way influenced. Yes, it is in fact someone entirely different who is writing to you this time around, and I hope that I’m able to keep up the remarkably questionable standards of “journalism” my fiancé has subjected you to each and every week.
My name is August Strachan, and while I may not have been a professional wrestling fan for very long (David shoved it in my face like a cat presenting a dead bird until I finally gave up and watched it.), I’ve definitely fallen in love with the sport to the point of obsession. I’m also excited to be attending my first-ever professional wrestling event — Grand Slam Australia! With that out of the way, let’s get straight to Collision.
COLD OPEN — MISS
Between Mark Briscoe’s very calm, collected, and focused speech, Kyle Fletcher’s insistence on stealing Mercedes Moné’s glasses, and Mark Davis being really occupied and then disappointed by something on the ceiling, this cold open didn’t have too much to offer other than the promise that fighting will be done on this show about fighting.
Also, can we change Fletcher’s new nickname already? “The Protostar” doesn’t carry much weight (Seriously, Google the definition of the word.), and saying Briscoe isn’t on the same level as someone whose literal gimmick is calling himself “not a star yet” is the opposite of an insult.
DEATH RIDERS 1: THE SHAFIR MENACE — MINOR-HIT
Marina Shafir clearly had something against that security guard and the timekeeper’s table.
Jon Moxley made a few slip-ups in this promo, calling “Grand Slam Australia” “Collision in Brisbane,” and that had better be a joke because that is not how it was sold to me when I bought my ticket. Then again, citing the reason for not giving Cope a title shot as “I don’t like you” probably shouldn’t be something that is said out loud either. (Yes, David. I called him “Cope.” I’m not doing that “Cliff” crap you do. I respect these wrestlers enough to publicly call them by whatever humiliatingly horrible name they choose to debase themselves with.)
All that being said, this promo felt like a slight, minuscule, toe-step in the right direction for the Death Riders. For example: Interrupting the announcers, stealing the spotlight of the first position on the show for themselves, Marina Shafir actually doing something instead of just walking around with a briefcase (where was that, by the way?), and being present in spaces that aren’t scheduled matches or backstage promos. Don’t get me wrong, there is still a long way to go, but this was a start.
UNDISPUTED KINGDOM vs. SHANE TAYLOR PROMOTIONS vs. DANIEL GARCIA & “COOL HAND” ANG & DADDY MAGIC — MINOR-HIT
“Who is the legal man right now?”
“I have no idea what is happening!”
“Who knew a match could be so easily summarized by statements of befuddlement?”
The nine wrestlers involved in this match are all talented, but it’s really hard to showcase or prove that to the audience when all nine of them are trying to prove it at the same time. The wrestling in this match was good, but please, cool it with this match type.
THE DEATH RIDERS 2: ATTACK OF THE TRIOS — HIT
The Trios Titles still exist! I was starting to wonder.
It may not have seemed like it at first, but that clusterf— of a trios match I was hating on did in fact have a reason for it happening. The titles themselves have been so far out of focus that I won’t be surprised if they change hands to the Undisputed Kingdom, but I also won’t be excited about it until I see that these particular titles matter to someone other than me.
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
Check out the latest episode of the Wade Keller Pro Wrestling Post-show covering the latest episode of Dynamite: CLICK HERE (or search “wade Keller” on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or any other iOS or Android app to subscribe free)
ALICIA INTERVIEWS MAX “THE MOST AVERAGE OF AVERAGE JOES”* CASTOR — HIT
Well Max, you just signed the death warrant of about a dozen wrestlers hoping to take you up in that open challenge. Enjoy being the shiny new target for a bullet lariat from Hangperson.
*(Hey, this is David. I’m here proofreading your column, August. Was that Max Castor “nickname” that you just made up supposed to be a parody of Castor’s new gimmick or a parody of my bad jokes?)
**(Given I’m proofreading, I don’t expect an immediate answer, but I do expect an answer that soothes my fragile ego. Honey.)
BANDIDO vs. THE BOUNTY HUNTIN’ BAD APPLE — HIT
This match didn’t start with a tumbleweed rolling by, and I am sad, but with this being as close as we can get to a shootout in wrestling (August hasn’t seen that Brian Pillman segment.), I’ll take it.
This match was at the very bottom of my list of reasons to be excited about this week’s Collision, and I find myself pleasantly surprised by the show these two put on. This is the first time Bryan Keith has really gotten to play up his original Bounty Hunter character, and it took place in his hometown. However, we all know the unwritten rules of wrestling: Nothing beats a return to the ring. Nothing.
Part of me was hoping to see Keith cash in the bounty on Bandido, only for Jericho to snatch back the extra $100,000 he added to it as a “coaching fee” or something like that. Oh well.
HALFTIME HARLEY COUNTDOWN CLOCK — HIT
I may be speaking too soon, but this is absolutely the correct thing to do in this situation. Harley Cameron’s stock has been steadily increasing in both the ring and in the eyes of AEW’s fans ever since she pivoted into a solo career. My advice: Keep Cameron hyped, keep her appearances coveted, and make them memorable. Whatever AEW decides to do, my biggest request is this: Please do not waste Cameron’s potential.
LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS “POWERHOUSE” HOBBS — MINOR-MISS
Wow, Hobbs was chomping at the bit to rub that loss in Bryan Keith’s face.
There was nothing much wrong with this announcement of Hobbs’s challenge to Big “Redwood” Bill, apart from the fact that it feels very similar to things Big “Redwood” Bill has done on previous shows.
Is this the wrestling equivalent of “No! You hang up!”?
LA FACCION INGOBERANBLE vs. ARES ALEXANDER & JAY ALEXANDER & BRICK SAVAGE — MINOR-HIT
So, a Bat, a Bull, and a… Mortos… walks into a ring…
We all knew how this was going to go as soon as we saw “Make Your Own Wrestler” Presets 1, 2, and 7 standing in the ring without getting an intro. But, that does not change that this was a brutal match and that Presets 2 and 7 do not seem to like Preset number 1. I mean JFC, I think they fully discussed their travel and dinner plans before trying to help him.
COMMANDER TRIES TO HELP — MINOR-MISS
Kommander. Buddy. Pal. C—t (It’s okay; I can say that word because I’m Australian, and it is used in a very different fashion over here.) When has a 1 vs. 3 ever worked out in a wrestler’s favor.
HOLOGRAM RETURNS — MISS
I am so glad LFI waited for Windows 11 to install before considering the option of just beating the crap out of Kommander in the dark.
Joking aside, I have yet to be given a reason why I should care about Hologram. His character is unique, and he can jump and flip with the best of them, but the fact that my face stayed in the exact same expression through the entirety of this return isn’t a good thing. We have no idea what he wants, aspires to, or who he is outside of glowsticks and blacklight-activated fabric. I want to know more, and I want to root for him in the obvious upcoming feud with LFI, but I need a reason to.
LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS MEGAH BAYNE — UNRATED
Or, not. Welp…
LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS THUNDER ROSA — HIT
Do Rosa and Bayne have history? I don’t know! Do I know what anything she said in the latter half of this segment was? No! Do I care? Absolutely not! I am suddenly anticipating that upcoming match a lot more than I thought I would be.
CAMERA ZOOM SHENANIGANS — MINOR-HIT
This might have been due to my Triller TV feed… but I would like to say a big “hello” to those fans who were sitting to the far left of the hard camera position. We got some very dramatic zoom-ins on all of you in near-total dead silence for an uncomfortable amount of time!
HARLEY CAMERON HALFTIME SHOW — MEGA-HIT
It is probably time to officially remind you that I am Australian. As such, do not expect professional detachment from Australian wrestlers. I feel no remorse.
Harley Cameron’s voice is astounding, exceptional, wonderful, fabulo-
MERCEDES MONÉ INTERRUPTS PURE PERFECTION — MEGA-MISS
Oh, how DARE you! We were all here for Harley Cameron, and she even went to the trouble of including a tasteful and well-made puppet in your likeness! For shame, Mercedes Moné. For shame.
TBS TITLE MATCH ANNOUNCEMENT — HIT
This is the right decision. Cameron’s connection with the fans has been organic and natural, and she deserves this.
Mercedes Moné and Cameron’s story, albeit short, has been strong, entertaining, and meaningful. Tonight’s dialogue from Moné was the strongest she’s been on the mic in a while, and this match is certain to get the crowd roaring one way or another.
I know the likelihood of Cameron being the first to get a win over Moné, and for a title no less, is next to zero, and I am fine with that outcome. I am also fine with an outcome that gives us a new TBS champion at Grand Slam Australia. However, no matter who possesses the TBS Championship on the other side of Grand Slam, neither of these women deserves to be pushed out of the fan’s field of vision. No matter who takes the pinfall, don’t let either of them freefall.
LEXI SITS DOWN WITH BUDDY MATTHEWS AND KAZUCHIKA OKADA — HIT
Coming to you pre-recorded from a backlot set of whatever Hollywood thinks a University looks like, Matthews and Okada cut a short, sweet, and exciting promo for their upcoming Grand Slam match.
Will Matthews win the title? It’s unlikely. Okada stands as the only remaining pillar of what was the EVPs’ stable and has yet to find a new direction. Right now, this title is all Okada has.
I’d love to see Okada deeply involved in a long-running storyline, title or not. He may not speak perfect English, but he does more than well enough to get by, and I have never heard the word “bitch” delivered in so many different ways until he began using the word.*
Matthews, as little as AEW seems to believe in him, can be more than a trios or tag team wrestler, and the same can be said for the entire Hounds of Hell grouping. If there is to be any upset at Grand Slam, I would like to see this one the most.
*(Hi, this is David again. I am personally not a fan of someone getting over by repeatedly using the word b— unless their name is Meredith Brooks, and Okada’s name is not Meredith Brooks. However, this is August’s column, and I will keep that opinion to myself because interjecting it into his column would be disrespectful.)
DUSTIN RHODES vs. IZZY JAMES (+ DUSTIN PROMO) — MINOR-MISS
I had to get that second name from the announcers by the way. There was no announcer’s call, no screen bug with the name on it, or anything. Only after the bell rang did Tony Schiavone tell us who Izzy James was. I get wanting to make Dustin Rhodes look strong, but dang it, give the guy his name at least!
As for the Rhodes promo that followed this match, the pauses may have been awkward, and a lot of it may have been rehashed hype from his previous verbal clashes with MJF, but at least that is all I have to say about it!
DEATH RIDERS 3: REVENGE OF THE PAC — MINOR-HIT
Why yes Pac, there have been very few individuals who have challenged the Death Riders for their Trios Championship. I think that’s because one person can’t challenge for them — just a thought. Still, I’m glad AEW is trying to spin the lack of challengers for the AEW Trios Titles into a “fear” angle. It at least provides a reason for their lack of TV time. (The titles, not the Death Riders).
I do wonder, though, if AEW still has a need for them. With Malakai Black having left the company and the Gunns targeting the tag team titles, the problems that the trios’ titles have suffered from have only gotten worse. There are simply not enough people to keep those titles going with any sense of believability.
It is a rarity, as of late, that the AEW Trios Titles get challenged for, and it is even rarer still if the challengers are an actual established trio with history and chemistry and not just three random wrestlers whose names were pulled out of a hat 30 minutes before the show started. Okay. Perhaps I exaggerate. But it is hard to get behind a championship that doesn’t have an ample amount of competition to support it.
The very first AEW match David showed me was The Death Triangle vs. The House of Black in a six-man tag match, and I loved that match so much that it not only made me a fan of professional wrestling, but I have been a fan of every single wrestler involved ever since. I love trios wrestling, but I can’t say the same for the languishing trios titles. If a fan of trios wrestling can’t get behind the titles meant to support that genre, then perhaps it is time to consider retiring them.
THUNDER ROSA vs. PENELOPE FORD — HIT
Thunder Rosa entered the ring in a stunningly accurate “cowboy Barbie” set of ring attire accompanied by El Toro, the Texan Bull Mascot.
Penelope Ford entered in gear inspired by a butterfly? Or a Tiger? A Tigerfly. Yeah, that works.
Together, the two deliver a genuinely good match. It’s nice to see Rosa taking huge strides despite her career-threatening injury. The fact she returned at all is a miracle, so every time she’s able to perform this well, it is a pleasure to watch.
MEGAN BAYNE ATTACKS THUNDER ROSA — HIT
After said match with Penelope Ford, Rosa was greeted by the icy entrance of our newest AEW women’s wrestler. It may not yet be clear what Bayne is seeking here in AEW, but clearly, a clash with Thunder Rosa is not far in the future.
A wrestler being billed from “Mount Olympus”* in her first appearance at the Casino Battle Royal has a lot to live up to, especially in a division with as many exceptional women’s wrestlers as AEW. So far, Megan Bayne has shown us that she has the look and the skill to be a credible threat to the women’s roster; I just hope she has the reasoning for it too.
*(Wait until he hears about “Parts Unknown.”)
LEXI NAIR INTERVIEWS…BUN B? — MISS
Ah, I see this is a Ricochet bit.
A Ricochet talking bit.
Oh no.
Hm. You know what? That didn’t go as awfully as I expected! Then again, he did the laugh. For the love of all that is holy, please stop doing that laugh! It sounds like a squeaky toy being used by a child for the specific purpose of driving their parents insane. This whole feud would be better off without that laugh…
…Unless, in the inevitable blowoff match with Swerve Strickland, Richochet gets hit in the stomach repeatedly and, like an obnoxious squeaky toy, does the laugh every time. Then it would be okay with me.*
*(And literally no one else.)
MARIAH MAY’S GLAMOUROUS EXHIBITION MATCH — HIT
Mariah May’s victim of the day answers to the name of Shay KarMichael, who, for a split second, I thought was actually “Timeless” Toni Storm having acted her way into being May’s opponent tonight. But no, sadly not.
Instead, this Toni Storm lookalike – whom the announcers couldn’t decide if she had been convinced to dress and do her hair accordingly or just simply looked like that to begin with – got stomped out of existence. And with that, we’ve now had three squash matches in one night. This one, at least, felt like it had purpose because it advanced one of AEWs best storylines. May’s further obsession with humiliating Storm by proxy made for a haunting last note from the current women’s champion as we head into Grand Slam next weekend.
LUTHER RETURNS! — HIT
Not only did our favorite butler return, but he brought with him the shoe that began this entire story! It was presented in a manner that was prim, proper, and still stained in timeless blood.
Mariah May vs. Toni Storm is the primary reason I purchased my ticket to Grand Slam, and I hope it delivers. For that matter, I think it should main event the pay-per-view. I can’t think of any match that is more anticipated than this one.
THAT’S NOT SHAY ANYMORE! — MEGA-HIT
With a touch of movie magic, the mauled body of Shay has been replaced by the one, the only, “Timeless” Toni Storm!
With Storm’s appearance came a headbutt to May that was performed with such force that I cannot tell if Storm’s stumble afterward was real or not. It cannot be said enough that this is by far the best storyline being told by AEW, and it deserves to be treated as such.
David is normally funnier in his columns than I have been in this one,* but given this segment involves Toni Storm, I think getting a bit serious is something he would be okay with me doing right now.
Tony Khan, I’m a nobody face-in-the-crowd fan who couldn’t afford front-row seats at Grand Slam Australia. The best I could do was midway to the back. But this. This is the match I am coming to see.
I’m not saying I don’t care about the rest of the card! I want the rest of the card to be good, too, and I am excited out of my mind to see the other wrestlers. But this. This is the main event to me, and I hope it is treated as such.
These women have poured their hearts and souls into this storyline. They have given us some of the best acting and in-ring storytelling we have seen in recent times at AEW. Give this match the time it deserves. Let it be lasting, massive, and consequential. Let it be the main event.
I literally waited until the return of “Timeless” Toni Storm to buy my ticket because I did not feel like I could justify buying such a luxury after having traveled to America to spend months with David on multiple occasions in 2024. But this feud changed my mind. Toni Storm and Mariah May put my butt in that midway-to-the-back seat, and that is the definition of a draw. At Grand Slam Australia, treat them like a draw.
*(You’re doing wonderfully, little cat. I have laughed several times.)
THE DON CALLIS FAMILY BEATS THE EVER-LIVING CRAP OUT OF BASICALLY EVERYONE BACKSTAGE — MISS
Why? I mean yeah, we get to see them be evil. But it doesn’t affect Mark Briscoe that some random face in the back got thrown through some stacked-up water jugs. It doesn’t benefit Kyle Fletcher that some guy in the back got hit in the head with a TV monitor. It doesn’t benefit Callis for this to happen, and one of the few consistent things about his character has been his narcissistic selfishness.
This segment had no real reason to exist.
MARK BRISCOE VS. KYLE FLETCHER — HIT
I cannot wait to hear the deafening response that Kyle Fletcher’s music is going to get at Grand Slam Australia. To anyone not in the know, here in Australia, it is custom that after a chant of “Aussie, Aussie, Aussie” everyone must respond with “Oi, Oi, Oi” and I expect that response to be cacophonous. Now that I’ve said that, watch me be the only one to do so.
This match was bloody, it was hard-hitting, and it was an excellent final showing for Fletcher before his appearance in Brisbane. Briscoe ended up practically blinded by his own blood, and Fletcher showed more of the seemingly infinite athleticism he has shown time and time again, and this is what AEW considers only a “protostar.” If the upcoming match at Grand Slam between Fletcher & Takeshita and Ospreay & Omega isn’t enough to elevate him to something greater, I don’t know what will.*
*(Wanting it. Wanting it will, and I don’t mean Kyle Fletcher. Tony Khan has to want it. You can’t half-believe in someone because if you do, all you will get are half-assed results. I would say more, but this is your column… for tonight.)
FINAL THOUGHTS:
This week’s Collision was all over the place in terms of quality. On one hand, moments and matches like Harley Cameron’s halftime show, Mariah May coming face to face with Toni Storm, and Kyle Fletcher vs Mark Briscoe carried this show to exceptional heights. But, on the other hand, it also had three squash matches, a pointless Callis Family beatdown, and Ricochet laughing. However, it was great to see more storyline content here on Collision, a trend that has been developing for a few weeks now, and I hope it won’t stop anytime soon. I just wish for this show’s cons to be elevated to the same level as its pros.
I’m going to try my hand at the whole “grading scale” thing, but don’t be surprised if I get this wrong because our grading system is totally different over here.
Overall Match Grade: B
Overall Storylines Grade: B+
SHOW GRADE: B
AUGUST’S DODGY MATCH RECOMMENDATIONS:
- Match of the Night: Kyle Fletcher vs Mark Briscoe
- Second Best Match: Penelope Ford vs Thunder Rosa (But if we’re counting squash matches then Mariah Mays’ Glamourous Exhibition Match)
- Third Best Match: Bandido vs Bad Apple Bryan Keith
Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, David is still working on his sign-off, but until next week, remember, giraffes are actually a species of beast demon that was banished from the Boiling Isles and forced to live in the human realm, but platypus ducks are normal.
(August Strachan is a trained ballet dancer, sometimes model, always actor, and the inventor of the world’s first penny-farthing motorcycle. Less impressively, August received his bachelor’s degree in Drama from the Queensland University of Technology in Brisbane, Australia.)
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