SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
WWE SMACKDOWN
JANUARY 13, 2005
TAPED TUESDAY IN TAMPA, FLA.
REPORT BY WADE KELLER, PWTORCH EDITOR
-Kurt Angle apologized to Joy backstage, saying what happened last week was a mistake and the most embarrassing moment of his life. I wonder if Kurt’s real-life wife watched that and laughed because it looked so insincere or freaked out because it was totally like that one time he sincerely apologized to her for something and it showed that he might have been acting in front of her, too? Big Show said he was a big man to apologize like that, then said JBL had to apologize or he’d beat it out of him.
-Michael Cole and Tazz introduced and previewed the show.
1 — ROB VAN DAM & REY MYSTERIO JR. vs. EDDIE GUERRERO & BOOKER T vs. THE BASHAMS vs. MARK JINDRAK & LUTHER REIGNS
RVD came to the ring with a knee brace. Cole made a silly point that pro football players don’t perform when they’re injured, yet look at RVD! Just what we need is an endorsement of athletes performing when injured after what happened last Sunday with Eugene and Lita, and considering the damage RVD has done to his knees over the past year working on a partially torn ACL that ended up causing more damage to his other knee as he was overcompensating. Mysterio surprised Jindrak with a 619 and then Eddie pulled Doug Basham onto him. The ref turned around and counted the pin at 4:30. Reigns didn’t have a chance to tag in.
[Commercial Break]
Mysterio and Guerrero battled for a couple of minutes. Cole and Mysterio complimented both as being perhaps the two best Hispanic wrestlers of this generation. They mentioned that Rey has had Guerrero’s number in recent weeks. Booker the tagged in against Mysterio. Guerrero tagged back in. Mysterio quickly pinned Guerrero with a roll-up at 20:20. Cole touted that it was the third week in a row Guerrero won. Tazz said, “That’s shocking. Very impressive by Mysterio.” Booker wasn’t happy with Guerrero.
Doug Basham hit Rey from behind as Rey held up three fingers at Guerrero. Cole pointed out that Mysterio had been in the ring for a long time and had an injured tag partner who hadn’t been able to tag in. Basham rammed RVD’s injured leg with ring stairs. He called for help. Medics tended to him. Rey went to ringside and yelled that he was hurt. He was almost counted out, but decided to leave his partner to finish the match. Cole said that was such a tough position for Mysterio to be in. Rey managed a comeback and hit the 619, but then Cole declared that Rey was going to retain the tag title, which mean of course that Rey was losing. The Bashams did the “switcheroo” and scored the pin.
WINNERS: Bashams at 18:12.
STAR RATING: **3/4 — Good long TV tag match.
[Commercial Break]
-Josh Matthews interviewed Kenzo Suzuki and Hiroko. Hiroko said Kenzo loves America and they are now the move beloved couple in America now that Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt have broken up. Kenzo talked about the White House, Statue of Liberty, and Kenzo Suzuki as U.S. Champion as a great threesome. He then forced a smile.
-Orlando Jordan told JBL and Amy, “Good times, good times.” It thought Colt Cabana was on TV for a second introducing “Good Times, Great Friends. Big Show interrupted their happy moment. JBL looked intimidated and apologized for his inappropriate actions last week. Amy Weber accused Joy of enjoying running through the halls naked. She said she screamed to draw attention to herself. She said it makes her “nothing more than a slut.” They got into a cat fight. JBL and Big Show broke them up quickly. Teddy Long walked in and said that’s not the way things are done on his watch. He booked them against each other later.
[Commercial Break]
2 — KURT ANGLE vs. RODERICK STRONG – Kurt Angle Invitational
Before the match, Angle entered the ring and told JBL he knows he can’t beat him, so he tricked Big Show into beating him up last week. He said the lengths he’ll go to protect his WWE Title is disgusting. He told him at the Royal Rumble his title reign was coming to an end. He bragged that nobody has been able to last three minutes with him inside the ring. He asked Roderick Strong before the match if he really thought he could beat him. Strong said he wasn’t sure if he could beat him, but “I know I can do this.” He then slapped Angle. Angle chased Strong around the ring. Strong actually got in some offense briefly, but Angle decisively beat him a minute later with the Anklelock.
WINNER: Angle at 1:52
STAR RATING: 1/2* — Very short, but solid action.
[Commercial Break]
-John Cena said before the match that this is Kenzo’s big night because he plans to take the U.S. Title from him. “Tonight you become more American than apple pie, the White House, and Statue of Liberty. I got news for you. I ain’t giving it up that easy.” Then said his crew is in the house, The Chain Gang. The crowd cheered and Cena said that’s why he wears his colors so proud. “They’d fight for me and I fight for each and every one of you,” he said. “That’s the Chain Gang. We stick together. We all ride together. And right now we’re going to whip your ass together.” Cena then said he won’t “start no beef, but if you want some, come get some.” That was a nice, pure babyface interview. It bordered on pandering to the fans, but Cena walked that line effectively. He sent a very positive message, which is such a stark contrast to the Attitude/Stone Cold era babyface. The message of sticking together and not instigating trouble is a genuinely positive character that kids can look up to.
ARTICLE CONTINUED BELOW…
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3 — JOHN CENA vs. KENZO SUZUKI — U.S. Hvt. Title match
Cena was aggressive from the start and won with an FU quickly and easy.
WINNER: Cena at 1:40 to retain the U.S. Title.
STAR RATING: 1/4* — Was that ever short. It took less time for Cena to beat Kenzo than it took Angle to beat Strong.
-A video package aired from recent Smackdown house shows including Cena hugging and mingling with fans. These videos are great. They should have been doing this regularly when they were drawing sellout crowds rather than taking them for granted. Still, the production of the wrestlers interacting with fans and looking as if they’re having the time of their lives is great at making house shows seems like “the place to be.”
-Amy cried backstage about being an image consultant, not a wrestler. JBL tried to calm her.
-Joy told Big Show she was excited about the chance to get her hands on Amy.
[Commercial Break]
-The Raw Rebound aired.
4 — JOY vs. AMY WEBER
Amy showed up looking worried. Joy never came out, so she lost via forfeit.
WINNER: Joy.
[Commercial Break]
-Backstage, Big Show demanded to have Long investigate where Joy went. He said he was getting to the bottom of it. He dispatched agents Steve Keirn and Fit Finlay to find her. JBL then entered his office and asked if knew what happened to Joy. Heidenreich then asked Long to eliminate the casket stip. Long said the stip is still on because he ran last week. JBL had this look that said he could not believe Long would accuse him of such foul play.
[Commercial Break]
-JBL said he was accepting an important award tonight. He said he didn’t have time to worry about “a bimbo like joy.” Long told him his alibi better check out or else next week’s show would open with him stripping him of the WWE Title.
5 — FUNAKI vs. NUNZIO — Cruiserweight Title match
Good action in the early minutes, which in a television cruiserweight match are usually the only minutes. Sure enough, it was over with a DDT by Funaki. Tazz said it was a “hell of a match.”
WINNER: Funaki at 3:15.
STAR RATING: * — Too short to amount to much, but the announcers paid nice respect to the action. Funaki still doesn’t feel like a credible champion considering how he was portrayed before winning the belt. They didn’t do anything to promote the match or build up Nunzio as a challenger.
-Carlito confronted Long backstage. He told him he can’t control his locker room which is another example of why he should no longer be G.M. He said what happened to wasn’t cool. Long then told him to get the hell out of his office. Torrie and Jackie walked into the office and passed along some info. Jackie resembles a prettier version of Joey’s agent on “Joey.” Torrie revealed Orlando Jordan was last seen with her. Long pondered that info, then dispatched a worker to go find Jordan. “I should’ve known!” said Long.
[Commercial Break]
-Jordan admitted to Long that he did see Joy before her match and did tell her that she about to get her ass kicked, but that was the last he saw of her. Big Show barged in and took Jordan down with a choke. He vowed to break every bone in Jordan’s body if he was lying.
-The head of the “Florida Agricultural Group” (who looked suspiciously like Al Wilson) introduced JBL as its Man of the Year. Tazz tried to tell Cole that many great men have won this award in the past. JBL drove up in his white limo, accompanied by The Bashams and Amy Webber. The organization’s leader thanked JBL for supplying fertilizer in a time of need.
He presented JBL with a plaque with his name on it. He said he had a brief acceptance speech. He said by allowing Floridians to grow food, he too has given life, an honor previously reserved just for women. He said families chant his name around the dinner table in honor of his generosity all over Florida. He said it was time for fans to congratulate him for his great award. “I understand you aren’t used to cheering here in Tampa because your football team has given you nothing to cheer about,” he said. “So I will forgive you for that. But I want to tell you my legacy with agriculture.” He then began talking about his grandfather. Cue the music. Angle interrupted. Cole said, “I never thought I’d say thank goodness for Kurt Angle.”
JBL’s mouth dropped open in shock that Angle would dare interrupt him. Angle said the whole thing was a joke. He said it’s obvious he doesn’t want any part of Big Show, so he embarassed Joy last week and kidnapped her this week to stress him out. Angle noticed something sticking out of JBL’s trunk. Angle unlocked the trunk and Joy was inside, screaming with a gag in her mouth. Paramedics tended to her, giving her oxygen. JBL said he had no idea why “that tramp” was in his trunk. Show came out to console Joy.
Show began shaking with rage. JBL nervously denied any involvement. Show attacked JBL’s cabinet and then JBL. The Bashams attempted to intervene, but Show easily tossed them away with chokeslams. Meanwhile, JBL and Amy fled into the crowd. Jordan hit Show with a low blow and a chairshot. Show looked at Jordan, said something about someone’s mother, and then bashed him over and over with a series of chairshots. JBL pleaded his innocence from the safety of the crowd.
-They cut backstage to Angle, Jindrak, and Reigns laughing over what just transpired. Angle quoted JBL, saying he loves it when a good plan comes together.
OR CHECK THIS OUT AT PROWRESTLING.NET: Vince McMahon settles with the Securities and Exchange Commission
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