SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 10 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
KELLER’S RAW REPORT
DECEMBER 1, 2014
TULSA, OKLA.
AIRED LIVE ON USA NETWORK
[Hour One]
-After a recap of last week’s happenings, they went live to the arena where Michael Cole stood in front of the podium with a laptop in front of him. The G.M. statement Cole read a statement that said he is back and he’s not happy, and WWE needs a new leader with company-wide respect who everyone knows yet no one knows. The G.M. said he can’t leave WWE in the hands of “washed up Superstars.” As he began to make announcements about this week’s Raw, John Cena’s entrance music interrupted.
-Cena walked out to the ring and credited the “board of directors” with putting the anonymous G.M. in charge. He said the anonymous G.M. and the WWE Champion share something in common – only showing up once a year. He said they are living in the here and now, and he shifted to talking about Team Cena at Survivor Series and how they survived Big Show turning on them. The Anonymous G.M. chime sounded over and over as Cena tried to keep talking, so he walked to ringside and closed the laptop. Cole backed off and said he was just a spokesman. Seth Rollins’s music then interrupted.
Seth walked out with Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble. Cena sighed and stayed at the podium. Seth entered the ring and made fun of Cena’s bad jokes and waving his hands in front of his face like a baby trying to figure out what his fingers are for. He said half the crowd tells him how much he sucks on a nightly basis. A “You Sold Out!” chant started, rather than a “Let’s Go Cena / Cena sucks!” chant. Seth said what John is really great at is taking credit for things he isn’t due credit for. Seth pointed out that he eliminated Cena. JBL said that’s a historical fact. Seth said The Authority would still be in power if not for Sting.
(WK Reax: If people are assuming Triple H will face Sting at WrestleMania, what about Seth vs. Sting? Seth could lose, but still get a boost from such a high profile match. Plus, he’d be more able to carry Sting to an exciting athletic match and have more to gain even from losing such a high profile match.)
Cena said he is giving credit to Dolph Ziggler for ultimately pinning him. Seth said Sting or Dolph, it doesn’t matter. He shifted to asking the crowd if they believe WWE is better off without The Authority. Seth asked who was next running Raw, JBL? Cole said, “Please, no.” JBL stood up and did some yes chant gestures. Seth said it could maybe be Batista. “He’s proven he’s terrible at wrestling and terrible at acting, so maybe he’d want to try being a G.M.”
(WK Reax: Was that Seth maybe laying the groundwork for a future match against Batista? That’s another intriguing potential WrestleMania match. If I’m an aging special attraction part time wrestler, I’d want to face Seth before just about anyone.)
He also dropped Eric Bischoff’s name, citing the “way back machine.” He said he’d make a great G.M. He said every week it’s going to be a guessing game and everything you did last week might evaporate depending on who the next G.M. is. Cena asked him to get to the point. Seth said what is best for the fans is also what’s best for business, and only Cena has the power to bring back The Authority. Cena said The Authority are not coming back.
Cena entered the ring and said Seth doesn’t have the Authority anymore, so he’s a normal dude who wears too much latex with two wanna-be mall cops with him, “so you’re not going to order me to do anything.” Cena asked Seth to ask him nicely to bring The Authority back. Seth paused, and then said please. Cena asked him to get down on one knee. Jamie Noble was co-MVP of this segment with his facial expressions in the background. The G.M. chime sounded again. Cena told Seth to ignore that sound because he uses AOL anyway and nobody does that anymore.
Cole announced that the Anonymous G.M. has booked Cena vs. Seth in a tables match at TLC. Seth smiled. Cole said if he loses at TLC, he will no longer be the no. 1 contender for the WWE Championship. Seth attacked Cena from behind before Cole could elaborate. Cena threw him out of the ring. Noble and Mercury attacked Cena. As Cena made a comeback, Kane came out and chokeslammed him. Seth then slid a table into the ring. Ryback then charged out to even the odds. He beat up all four heels, including a gorilla press slam. Kane then came back with a chair and bashed Ryback across his back.
Erick Rowan charged out. Big Show attacked Rowan from behind. He threw the top of the ringside stairs at him. Ziggler ran out and shoved Show head-first into the ringpost, then pulled out a ladder. Luke Harper ran out and shoved the ladder into Ziggler against the ring apron. Seth, Noble, and Mercury then set up putting Cena through the table, but Cena escaped. Show gave Cena the KO punch. Then Seth, Noble, and Mercury slammed Cena through the table mid-ring. Cole said if Cena loses at TLC, he’s no longer the WWE Champion.
(WK Reax: The payoff to The Authority losing power wasn’t just fans taking satisfaction in seeing Triple H and Stephanie ousted from being on TV barking out orders; the implied pact with fans was also that the WWE Board wouldn’t put anyone else in charge who was just as bad and unfair. The arbitrary, senseless stip that if Cena loses to Seth, he loses his no. 1 contender status cheapens all future “major stipulations” because fans are being conditioned to believe any stip can be made irrelevant almost instantly. It’s not worth it.) [c]
-They showed Cena, Ziggler, and Ryback being tended to at ringside and helped to the back. Cena looked dazed and confused.
(WK Reax: It’s always good to see some selling of a big angle like this rather than just clearing the ring during the commercial and moving on quickly.)
-They went to Cole, Jerry Lawler, and JBL who hyped the main event of Kane & Seth & Harper vs. Ziggler & Cena & Ryback.
-Lilian Garcia explained the rules of the Tag Team Turmoil match. For some reason, the director cut to a crowd shot that included a prominent fan sign stating: “We Know It Was Hornswoggle.”
(WK Reax: My hunch is Vince McMahon and Kevin Dunn forgot that Hornswoggle was revealed to be the Anonymous G.M. already and thus didn’t shy away from showing that sign.)
-Goldust & Stardust made their ring entrance. Cole talked about how “fun” New Day are and said they’d be out next. [c]
(1a) GOLDUST & STARDUST vs. THE NEW DAY (Kofi Kingston & Big E. w/Xavier Woods)
JBL said New Day remind him of the “gleeful” Fabulous Freeboards.
(WK Reax: Huh? Maybe the Michael Hayes & Jimmy Garvin version, but I’d instead compare them to the Fantastics if you’re going to that era and region.)
They cut to a crowd shot of a guy dancing enthusiastically, but right behind him there was another fan who looked completely bored with the whole schtick. New Day randomly decided who would wrestle with “Odds & Evens.” Lawler and JBL thought it was some sort of version of “Rock, Paper, Scissors.” Cole said Kofi brings the athleticism, Big E. the muscle, and Xavier the intellect (you know, because Xavier is a black guy who went to college, so that has to be his gimmick). New Day won in about a minute when Kofi pinned Cody.
(WK Reax: That made Goldust & Stardust out to be real chumps losing so quickly. It’s one reason to hate this type of match. The falls come so quickly it makes the losers seem like, well, such losers.) [c]
(1b) NEW DAY vs. TYSON KIDD & CESARO (w/Natalya)
When Goldust and Stardust attacked Big E. and Woods at ringside, Kofi was distracted, and that gave Kidd an opening to schoolboy Kofi with a handful of tights for the win.
(WK Reax: Big E. is just so the opposite of cool and charismatic in this gimmick. I almost want to avert my eyes when he tries to play into the “look at how much fun I’m having” theme of this patronizing gimmick. It’s just uncomfortably awful.)
(1c) CESARO & TYSON KIDD vs. THE USOS
Cole complimented the Usos documentary that aired last week on WWE Network. The director badly missed on showing that Kidd was using Natalya as a human shield at ringside when an Uso was about to dive over the ropes at him. They cut to a break. [c]
Back from the break – you won’t believe this – Cesaro had an Uso grounded with a chinlock. They showed Kidd hiding behind Natala before the break from a wide angle camera shot. Jimmy hot-tagged into the match and went after Kidd. Jey top rope splash splashed Kidd a minute later for the win. JBL prematurely said the Usos were the new no. 1 contenders for the tag team titles. Cole corrected him and said there is one more team coming out. And out came…
(1d) ADAM ROSE & THE BUNNY vs THE USOS
They cut to Naomi watching the monitor backstage from an unhealthy distance of about four inches, but the fact that she was watching it sideways maybe mitigates the ridiculously short distance she stood from it in terms of doing optical damage. As Rose and the Bunny argued, Jey shoved Rose into the Bunny, then went for a superplex. Bunny blocked it and then hit Jey with some rabbit punches. Bunny then sunset flipped Jey to the mat and got a near fall. Rose tagged himself in. Bunny took exception. Jey superkicked Rose, who took a delayed awkward bump into the Bunny “due to the momentum.” Poorly executed. The Usos finished Rose with their signature splash.
WINNERS: The Usos in 13:00 to become no. 1 contenders to the tag team titles.
-As the Usos celebrated, they cut backstage to Naomi smiling. Miz and Mizdow walked in. Miz said they are looking forward to facing the Usos at TLC and he is looking forward to her wrestling later. He said he voted for A.J. Lee to be her partner. He said he saw her “Dance All Night” music video and she twerked very well. He recommended a producer in Hollywood to take her to the next level. She took a business card Miz offered her. Mizdow offered her an invisible card.
-They cut to the parking lot where Vince McMaon stepped out of a limo speaking on a cell phone. [c]
-Cole announced Seth Green would be hosting the Slammy Awards edition of WWE Raw next week. The announcers listed his acting credits. JBL said it’s his favorite edition of Raw each year. Cole pushed voting via the WWE App.
[Hour Two] -Tom Phillips attempted to interview Erick Rowan, who was working on a Rubix cube. Phillips said he investigated Rowan and found out he has an IQ of 143, a borderline genius level, and he’s a classically trained guitarist, and an award-winning wine maker. So he asked why he’s targeting The Big Show when he has all that going for him. Rowan raised his sheep mask and said, “He’s a bully.” He then handed Phillips the Rubix cube – solved. Phillips looked surprised.
-Big Show walked out and said damn right he’s a bully. He said he is because he can be. He said he doesn’t care about the fans chanting “You Sold Out!” at him because all he cares about is hurting people. He said he’ll show Rowan what a mean nasty giant he really is.
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(2) ERICK ROWAN vs. THE BIG SHOW
Show got DQ’d when he hit Rowan across the back with the top of the ringside steps. After hitting his back, the stairs bounced on the mat and hit Rowan in the head. Rowan sold the shot to the head more than the back and clutched his head. He had a small cut.
WINNER: Rowan via DQ at 4:19.
-Backstage Renee Young interviewed Vince McMahon who said he’s so happy he’d like to whistle, but unfortunately he doesn’t know how to whistle. He plugged appearing on Steve Austin’s Podcast live after Raw on WWE Network. “I’m so excited, it’s going to be fun.” He stressed that it’s “going to be fun.”
-They went to the announcers who fake-laughed like on those NFL pregame shows as if what they just saw from Vince was absolutely hysterically funny. They cut to a clip of the A.J. Lee-Bellas feud. Cole plugged fan voting on the WWE App to decide whether A.J. would team with Natalya, Naomi, or Alicia Fox. [c]
(3) FANDANGO (w/Rosa Mendez) vs. JACK SWAGGER
Backstage, after the Fandango ring entrance, they showed Zeb Coulter on the ground writhing in pain. Swagger yelled for a doctor as Zeb said his leg was badly hurt. Swagger asked who did it, but the director rudely cut away before Zeb’s answer could be heard. Fandango celebrated a win by forfeit.
WINNER: Fandango via forfeit.
-Rusev’s music then played. He and Lana walked onto the stage. [c]
-A clip aired of Sgt. Slaughter forcing Lana and Rusev to pledge allegiance to the United States of America last week. You know, because in America, the land of the free, we force people to pledge allegiance. In the ring, Lana told the fans that while they pride themselves on the freedom that comes with being in the U.S., Rusev was ordered to recite the Pledge, and when he refused, he was forced to defend his U.S. Title in a battle royal. She bragged that he still won the battle royal, proving he is the greatest U.S. Champion “this pathetic excuse of a super power has ever seen.” He said those who don’t listen get broken… like Zeb. A “USA!” chant rang out. She read an altered Pledge, this one to the Russian Federation and Vladimir Putin.
Out came Swagger, fuming mad. He charged to the ring and tackled Rusev. They tumbled to ringside where Swagger threw Rusev into the ringside barrier. Eventually a half-dozen refs separated them. Swagger fought through them and got in a few more shots before Rusev fled.
-The announced plugged fan voting for the A.J. Lee tag match. [c]
-They aired a clip of the Raw pre-show including El Torito running in on the Miz & Mizdow promo and irritating them.
(4) DAMIEN MIZDOW (w/The Miz) vs. EL MATADOR (w/El Torito)
Miz joined in on commentary. Miz denied he is jealous of Mizdow’s popularity. JBL asked what’s up with him and Naomi. He said he wants to introduce her to producers in Hollywood.
WINNER: Mizdow via tapout at 2:25.
-Jimmy Usos walked out and slapped Miz hard across his face. He said, “Stay away from my wife!” Then he marched away.
-Bray Wyatt blew out his lantern.
-They hyped the Slammy Awards Show. [c]
-Lawler said he heard that the Slammy Award pre-show on WWE Network might feature some of the Slammy Awards being given out before Raw goes live on USA Network. Cole announced that Miz would face Jimmy Uso on Main Event tomorrow on WWE Network.
(5) BRAY WYATT vs. R-TRUTH
Cole said the Anonymous G.M.’s email noted that if Cena loses at TLC, a new no. 1 contender will be determined at a later date.
WINNER: Bray at 4:21.
-Afterward Bray threw chairs into the ring, then a ladder. Cole wondered what he was doing. They cut to a break. [c]
-After the break Bray was sitting on a chair telling a story about a man named Jacob. He said Jacob had a special ladder because it led straight to heaven. He said Jacob’s maker told him how to lead his people to safety. Bray said he, too, dreams of this great ladder, but his dreams are a little different. He said he climbs a ladder to praise no one and he looks down at his world and he foolishly laughs at all the vile creatures he has created, these simple-minded little insects, just like Dean Ambrose. He said in his dreams he sees tables, ladders, and chairs. “It didn’t have to be this way, Dean,” he said.
Ambrose then walked out to his music and swiftly made his way to the ring. They brawled at ringside. Ambrose got the better of Bray after a minute. He set up a ladder and climbed it at ringside. Bray got up and moved out of the path. Dean got off the ladder and charged at Bray with a flying forearm, then threw him into the ringpost. Bray retreated as Dean smashed his rocking chair in the ring, then stood inside a ladder and stared at Bray. JBL said they won’t be separated at TLC. That’s the key point here in terms of selling the PPV.
[Hour Three] -They went to the announcers at ringside who threw to Cole’s big announcement that if Cena loses at TLC, he will no longer be the no. 1 contender. A clip aired of the Cena-Seth brawl and the fallout. Lawler plugged the six-man tag.
-The ring entrance for the Bellas took place. [c]
-Lawler revealed voting results: Naomi (48%), Natalya (32%), Alicia Fox (20%). A.J. looked indifferent.
(6) A.J. LEE & NAOMI vs. THE BELLA TWINS
(WK Reax: So we’re not getting any further explanation at all for how Brie came around to being on Nikki’s side after all they’ve been through? This is just inexcusable that the Raw audience, who invested in the Brie-Nikki dispute for months, are given absolutely nothing here.)
A “C.M. Punk” chant broke out when they settled into a mat hold, but it faded quickly. There should be a no restholds rule for A.J.’s matches. A novel “A.J. Lee” chant broke out next among a small group of fans, but it didn’t catch on.
WINNERS: A.J. & Naomi when Nikki tapped out to A.J. at 3:25.
-They went to Santa Claus (Mick Foley dressed as Santa) backstage doing a WWE Shopzone Cyber Monday pitch. It was 25 percent off all orders with promo code “cyber.” [c]
-They announced Smackdown would feature Rusev vs. Ambrose. That’s a pretty big match. There’s guaranteed to not be a clean pinfall in that.
-Cole interviewed Paul Heyman via satellite from WWE headquarters. Cole asked about the added stip for Cena at TLC. Heyman at first took exception to Cena saying Brock Lesnar only appears once a year. He said, “Why not do Christmas 365 night a year? Because it would be stupid. Because it defeats the purpose. Because it’s special, it’s unique, like an appearance by my client. Why not just have every Monday called WrestleMania? Because it defeats the purpose. Because WrestleMania is once a year, can’t miss, must see, like my client.”
Heyman said if Cena gets past Rollins at TLC, a war-weary Cena has to face a fresh, restored, property trained Brock Lesnar which means the beating Cena received at Summerslam will pale by comparison. He wondered who would be no. 1 contender if Cena loses. He said Seth can’t hide behind The Authority anymore. He rescinded his acceptance of Seth’s apology for giving Lesnar a curb stomp. He said maybe Undertaker, but you can’t find him because his client taught him that losing does sting. “How about Sting?” he said. “Why not make Sting the no. 1 contender?” He said it wouldn’t have to be advertised as a Retirement Match, but if Sting stepped foot in the ring against Lesnar, it would be a retirement match.
(WK Reax: If Heyman were a lawyer, these closing argument style promos would win him every case. He’d have a better record than Perry Mason. He could start from a premise that eating light bulbs is more tasty than pizza, and by the end, at least for a few seconds, I’d be nodding along, totally persuaded.)
-Cole said he brought up some interesting points, including who would be the no. 1 contender if Cena loses.
(WK Reax: Could they be thinking of not having Lesnar wrestle until WrestleMania? Cena loses, Lesnar doesn’t defend at Rumble, and Cena wins the Rumble and they go with another rematch for WM, assuming Vince has gotten cold feet on Roman Reigns? Or still have Reigns win, but never have Cena face Lesnar again? Either way, at least Heyman has addressed the elephant in the room and made his case for why Lesnar is not defending the title or even appearing on TV.)
-A commercial aired hyping the Steve Austin live interview with Vince McMahon on WWE Network after Raw.
-Main event ring entrances took place, beginning with Cena, Dolph Ziggler, and Ryback individually. Then Seth, Kane, and Luke Harper.
(7) LUKE HARPER & SETH ROLLINS & KANE vs. JOHN CENA & DOLPH ZIGGLER & RYBACK
Cena and Ziggler gave Harper a double dropkick a minute in. JBL compared it to “Ricky & Robert,” a/k/a the Rock ‘n’ Roll Express. Ryback then tagged in and grounded Harper with a Thesz press. Harper eventually tagged in Seth. Ryback had Harper up for a vertical suplex and held him there. They cut away mid-move for some reason. [c]
After the break, Ziggler tagged in followed by Kane. Lawler asked how good it’s been not having The Authority running things this week. They built to a hot-tag by Ziggler to Cena who went to work on Harper. With he ref distracted, Jamie Noble and Joey Mercury punched Cena. JBL said, “They’re like security, only smaller.” Ouch. That gave Seth an opening for a two count. They cut to a break. [c]
The heels ended up working over Cena for several minutes, with Seth turning up the obnoxiousness with his verbal taunting along the way. He’s as effective verbally during a match as a heel as anyone I can remember. Ziggler got the hot tag and landed the Zig Zag. Chaos broke out and Cena dove onto everyone including Ziggler and Ryback mid-ring. Cena tried to lift Kane for an AA, but Kane escaped. Ryback gave Kane a powerslam. Seth gave Ryback a running knee to the skull. Ziggler DDT’d Rollins. Harper surprised Ziggler with a spinning side-slam for a believable near fall. He followed with a powerbomb attempt, but Ziggler rolled through and scored the pin.
WINNERS: Ziggler & Cena & Ryback at 25:17.
Before Ziggler’s music could last two seconds, Harper jumped him. Big Show joined the heels. Rowan came out to even the odds. Show tried to chokeslam Rowan and Ryback, but Ziggler landed a super kick to stop that. Ryback gave Show a Meathook Clothesline, and then Cena gave Show an Attiude Adjustment. The announcers did a nice job selling it. Rowan threw the steps into Show’s face next. Cena shook hands with Rowan as if to give him a stamp of approval now that he ran out and saved him. Cole declared that Rowan has arrived. Rowan stood over Show and looked down at his foe.
(WK Reax: This wasn’t a good episode of Raw, but I did really like that they’ve incorporated both Rowan and Harper into the main event mix. They’ve both benefited from the insertion into the Survivor Series main event picture and at least WWE is following up on it. The Cena endorsement is meaningful in this context. Too bad Ziggler seems to be in the same place he was before Survivor Series. It’s not a bad place to be, but it seemed like the role he had in the main event could have positioned him for being framed differently on TV as someone whose career had made the next leap. Good action, understandably formulaic in nature.
-They cut backstage to Steve Austin waiting for McMahon’s arrival for the WWE Network interview.
OR CHECK THIS OUT AT PROWRESTLING.NET: Boxer Ricky Hatton looks back on being a guest GM on WWE Raw, says he punched a wrestler harder than he should have
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