SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
SEPTEMBER 2, 2004
TAPED TUESDAY
-The show opened with The Voice recapping the Kurt Angle-Eddie Guerrero rivalry, stating that tonight they would find out which of the two is the “better wrestler.” It’s not often that a match is billed as determining who the “better wrestler” is. WWE has turned into an art form the avoidance of the term “wrestler” and “wrestling.” They came up with “sports entertainment” as a euphemism to separate themselves from “pro rasslin’.” The McMahons have said they would like to eliminate the name wrestling from their name, but the “WWF” initials were too strong of a brand to abandon. Match are to “settle scores” or “see who’s tougher,” but to say it’s to see who the “better wrestler” is? The person who scripted that might get a verbal lashing from the powers that be.
-Michael Cole and Tazz introduced the show.
-Booker T came to the ring and talked about his feud with John Cena. He said everywhere he goes, everyone chants “Cena… Cena.” That was the least subtle attempt ever (which is saying something) of a heel trying to get a chant going while ostensibly being upset about the chant getting started. It didn’t work particularly well. Footage aired of Booker rolling through and pinning Cena with a yank on his shorts in Sydney, Australia. That’s a nice touch to show WWE in Australia, although they could have done a little more to get across that it really was in Australia. After how the Intercontinental Title was “won by Pat Patterson in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil” to become the first champion in September 1979 (they didn’t bother with an exact date), you can’t trust WWE. I bet some viewers who aren’t website visitors, but think “everything in wrestling is fake,” suspected that the match actually took place in Rome, Ga. or something. The footage from Sydney did look good with a two camera set-up and strong lighting.
Rey Mysterio came out and interrupted Booker T. He asked him if he had a match scheduled. Booker said no. Rey asked him if he wanted a match. Booker said he didn’t come to wrestle. Rey said he wanted a match against Spike Dudley, but he’d settle for facing him since he was talking smack. Booker said to talk smack to him, you had to be “at least this tall,” holding his hand a few inches about Rey’s head. The crowd “oohhhed’ at that (which is a lot better than laughing with Booker and at Rey’s expense). Rey said it’s about time he hear a chant other than “Cena.” He got the crowd to chant “619.” Kenzo Suzuki interrupted and said Rey Mysterio isn’t a real American so he can’t use an American area code for his finisher. He called him a liar. He said, “Liar, liar, pants on fire” with his strong accent. He then said he can smile like Tom Cruise. Then he let out a big smile which drew some laughs.
RVD jumped Kenzo from behind. Then Rene Dupree joined in the five-way brawl at ringside. Long came out and announced a six-man tag match with the partner of RVD and Mysterio being John Cena. Cena came out to his intro music.
[Commercial Break]
1 — JOHN CENA & ROB VAN DAM & REY MYSTERIO vs. KENZO SUZUKI & BOOKER T & RENE DUPREE
Booker, taking the dress code a little too far, wore black slacks and black shoes into the ring. The story was he didn’t come to wrestle, so he didn’t bring his gear. RVD hit a Five-Star Frogsplash on Dupree, then dove onto Kenzo at ringside. Rey then hit Dupree with the 619 and followed with a springboard legdrop for the win.
WINNERS: Mysterio & RVD & Cena at 8:00 when Rey pinned Dupree.
STAR RATING: *1/2 — A lot of signature moves one after another. Solid opener.
-They showed the finish from WrestleMania of the first of the previous two high profile matches between Guerrero and Angle.
[Commercial Break]
-A clip aired of Josh Matthews getting beat up by Heidenreich last week.
-Backstage Teddy Long told Paul Heyman that Heidenreich is being fined $5,000 for his actions last week. Heyman said Heidenreich doesn’t have $5,000 on him. Long said he can pay him instead then. He added: “And with your reputation, no checks. I want 100 percent cash money.” Long told Heyman he better control Heidenreich. Heyman said Heidenreich is crazy and unstable. Heyman said he’d do what he wanted. He smiled until Long got out of his sight, then frowned at him and unlocked the door to the room Heidenreich was inside.
-Cole and Tazz talked about Chavo Guerrero’s injury last week. Tazz said it was scary that Chavo was out of it for 25 minutes because “that’s an eternity” when it comes to concussions. Cole said Chavo suffered a serious concussion. Tazz said it’s a horrible thing for Chavo and his family.
-They went backstage to Kidman and Paul London. Jamie Noble got in Kidman’s face about what he did to Chavo last week. Kidman said the Shooting Star Press just happens to be one of the most dangerous moves in wrestling. I don’t know how he said that while sucking in his gut as much as he was. Noble told Kidman that Chavo’s career might be over and it’s all his fault. London told Kidman not to let Noble get in his head about the injury. For what it’s worth, I’m told Chavo’s concussion isn’t considered this serious and they’re keeping him out of action as a precautionary measure. Just that little bit of backstage footage of Kidman and London made them seem so much more real than before when they’ve just been shown in the ring. It’s astounding that WWE doesn’t give any mic time or character development to their tag team champions.
[Commercial Break]
2 — BILLY KIDMAN & PAUL LONDON vs. JOHNNY STAMBOLLI & NUNZIO
In another nice touch, the showed Nunzio and Stambolli talking about match strategy earlier. It was just a few seconds of them speaking to each other, but again it made them seem like real people with actual personalities and a dynamic between them. At 3:00 London and Kidman double-dropkicked Stambolli out of the ring. London then dove onto him at ringside. Kidman then set Nunzio up for the Shooting Star Press. He thought twice about it and hesitated, though. He couldn’t do it, despite encouragement from London. He tagged in London, who couldn’t believe Kidman’s lack of action. Nunzio then surprised London with a backslide. Kidman walked away as London stood in the ring, confused and frustrated. I like this storyline. It’s different, but it plays up a “realistic and competitive aspect” to being a wrestler that can make you look differently at everything that happens in the ring.
WINNERS: Nunzio & Stambolli at 4:08 when Nunzio pinned London.
STAR RATING: * — Short, but good. I’d be all for a feud between these two teams. Nunzio deserves a chance at a significant role and his in-ring chemistry with London and Kidman would be fun to watch develop over a series of matches.
-Heidenreich then attacked London from behind. He gave him his shoulder breaker. He said, “One more for good luck.” Then he gave him another on. Heidenreich then jumped to ringside and went after Cole and Tazz, who both fled the scene. Tazz did so while trying to look tough. Cole ran as fast as I did when Terry Funk gave me a dirty look when I was shooting ringside for his match against Ric Flair in Chicago in 1989. Heyman jumped into the ring and tried to control Heidenreich. He said, “No more, no more, no more.”
[Commercial Break]
-A video aired promoting the return of Big Show. Torrie Wilson then nervously told Long backstage that she can’t sleep in fear of Big Show’s pending return. Credit WWE for even remembering the Torrie-Show situation and making it part of the storyline for Show’s return. Long assured Torrie she had nothing to worry about because as part of his signing Show he required him to undergo anger management counselling. Torrie said that wouldn’t be enough because, after all, “he tried to lift my car!”
-They plugged a WWE videogame and showed footage of Undertaker walking to the ring in the videogame. Cole called it “an actual real life Undertaker ring entrance.” I think he meant “an artificial videogame Undertaker ring entrance,” but close enough.
-JBL came out of his limo with a grand entrance. He gave Tazz some hand cleanser. Cole asked JBL if rumors are true that he wore his back brace and halo longer than he had to. JBL said a lesser man would have been in the ICU.
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3 — CHARLIE HAAS (w/Miss Jackie) vs. ORLANDO JORDAN
JBL said if Haas beats Jordan, he will generously give him a shot at his title at the next PPV. Cole said no disrespect to Haas, but he’s no Undertaker. JBL said Taker is a monster who doesn’t belong in the ring. Jordan rammed Haas’s face into an exposed turnbuckle and then gave him a neckbreaker for the win. JBL said he’s looking for a new no. 1 contender. JBL entered the ring and took off his jacket, and gave Haas a Clothesline from Hell.
WINNER: Jordan at 3:48.
STAR RATING: *
[Commercial Break]
-A nice video package aired on the Australian tour with great shots of the fans going nuts for them in Australia. This proved to me WWE really did go to Australia and didn’t just go to Rome, Ga. and pretend they travelled around the world. Guerrero and Cena talked about what fun they had. Cole said they set an attendance record at the Sydney Superdome.
4 — BUBBA RAY & D-VON DUDLEY (w/Spike Dudley) vs. BILLY GUNN & HARDCORE HOLLY
Spike slapped Holly before the match, leading to a jumpstart brawl. Spike was pesky with interference and distractions during the match. Holly hit a top rope clothesline which Cole inexplicably called “a bulldog.” Huh? At least he didn’t call it a senton. As D-Von distracted the ref, Spike hit Holly from behind with the title belt. Bubba covered Holly and Cole said before the pin, “The Dudleys are going to steal this one.” They have been calling finishes accurately occasionally lately rather than always only calling a finish ahead of time when there’s actually a kickout coming. Earlier in the match there was a convincing near fall that Cole didn’t predict would end the match.
WINNERS: Dudleys at 4:12.
STAR RATING: 3/4* — Not long enough to amount to much, but pretty good action while it lasted. I’m not sure why they bother to keep Gunn and Holly around if they’re not going to use them in a meaningful way. Either push them better or give their spot to wrestlers with potential to be something someday.
-A clip aired of Angle pinning Guerrero at Summerslam.
[Commercial Break]
-Cole and Tazz plugged the Tough Enough contest again. Deadline is this Wednesday. In Cole speak, that might just means “a week from next Saturday.”
-The Raw highlight package aired.
-They showed Guerrero and Angle heading toward the entrance for their match.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed Brock Lesnar superplexing Big Show off the top rope and the entire ring collapsing out from under them. I didn’t notice before how much the referee overreacted to it, as if he were being shoved around by a ghost or something.
5 — KURT ANGLE vs. EDDIE GUERRERO
They worked a slow pace at the beginning, working holds and reversals. Cole called it a classic chess match. Guerrero eventually gave Angle a low blow in front of the ref in retaliation for a mule kick by Angle that the ref didn’t see, so the ref DQ’d Guerrero to end the first fall at 8:10.
[Commercial Break]
Guerrero won the second fall with a roll-up of Angle as Angle went for an Angle Slam at 16:05 despite Angle dominating the entire fall.
[Commercial Break]
After returning from the break, Angle had Guerrero in a reverse bear hug. Guerrero began wiggling his way out of the hold. With both men on the mat at 22:15, the ref began counting both down. Guerrero made a comeback, but when he went to the top rope, Angle suplexed him to the mat. Angle scored a very near fall at 24:45 after an Angleslam. Guerrero hit his triple vertical suplex series, then went to the top rope for a Frog Splash. Luther Reigns jumped onto the ring apron to distract him. Guerrero fended him off, but then when he went for the Frog Splash, Angle moved. Angle then hit the Angleslam, dropped his strap, and applied an anklelock. When Guerrero escaped, the ref got knocked down. Guerrero then dove onto Reigns at ringside. Guerrero then grabbed a chair and hit Angle with it. Guerrero then dropped onto his back as if he had been KO’d by the chair. Angle got up and grabbed the chair. The ref stood up and saw Angle with the chair. He threatened to DQ Angle. Angle dropped the chair. Guerrero stood and laughed. Reigns then hit Guerrero with a chair from outside the ring. Angle immediately seized with an ankelock and tapped out. Cole said it was a damn shame the match had to end that way. As Angle celebrated on the stage, Reigns attacked Guerrero with his swinging inverted neckbreaker. Cole said it was ridiculous.
WINNER: Angle two falls to one at 29:00 (approx. due to commercial break edits)
STAR RATING: ***1/2 — Good match, but Angle’s new style gets a bit monotonous. In some ways it was fundamentally really good, but in other ways frankly not all that exciting. Also, the DQ finish to the first fall and the ref pump and interference leading to the third fall finish took away from the match feeling like anything near a TV classic; it was an appropriate finish for a TV match, but it still took away from the quality of the overall match.
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