SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
KELLER’S WWE RAW REPORT
AUGUST 16, 2004
LIVE ON TNN FROM LONDON, ONT.
-After the opening montage, Lilian Garcia introduced Randy Orton as the new World Hvt. Champion. Confetti dropped from the ceiling as Orton made his way to the ring in a suit and tie. They showed Orton on the cover of the Toronto Sun holding his newly won title. The fans chanted for Orton. He said they may be cheering him now, but last night they didn’t think he could do it.
They thought he was in over his head. Orton asked all the 24 year old men to stand up. The camera panned the crowd as about one out of every twenty fans stood up. He then asked them to take off their shirts. It began getting homoerotic at this point. Those with the worst bodies probably weren’t taking their shirts off, but Jerry Lawler made it sound as if every one taking off their shirts looked like Rusty Brooks. Orton acted disgusted, too, then said he is not only better looking, but much more successful than any of them.
He said it is sad how little most 24 years olds have accomplished compared to him. He completely turned the crowd against him at that point. He said winning the title was his destiny. They went to a great music video montage of Orton with highlights of his pin on Benoit. He said, “There have been many other champions, but none like Randy Orton.” He told the crowd to get used to the $3,000 suits and the beautiful smile and face, “because the Randy Orton era has only just begun.” They’re definitely keeping it a mystery whether Hunter or Orton will be turning babyface as their situation progresses.
Chris Benoit then came out to a great ovation and chants of “Benoit, Benoit.” Benoit said the first title defense would be against him. Orton acknowledged that Benoit had a rematch clause in the contract. Benoit revealed that he wasn’t going to wait a month or even a week to exercise that clause, he was getting his rematch tonight. Ross exclaimed that he couldn’t believe it, but it must be official because Benoit just came from the General Manager’s office. He said we’d see the classic all over again.
[Commercial Break]
1 — RHYNO (w/Tajiri) vs. SYLVAIN GRENIER (w/Rob Conway)
Lilian explained before ring intros that if Rhyno won, he and Tajiri would earn a tag title shot, but if Rhyno lost, he and Tajiri would never be in contention again for the tag titles. Robert (“Row-bear”) Conway is now back to being called just plain, ‘ol Rob. Lawler took a dig at Canada by saying they only have one silver medal and then the went out and had it bronzed. In the end, with the ref distracted by Conway, Tajiri sprayed Grenier with green mist giving Rhyno an easy pin.
WINNER: Rhyno at 5:15.
STAR RATING: 3/4* — What you’d expect. Fine for what it was.
-Ross and Lawler were shown on camera at the announce desk recapping the Kane-Lita storyline. They then went to a video showing Kane inviting everyone to his wedding day with Lita. It will take place next Monday on Raw in Anaheim, Calif. Lawler never seemed more excited as he talked about the wedding and witnessing the first kiss between them. He said in 25 years, “when I have a new broadcast partner,” he’ll be there to celebrate their silver anniversary. Ross plugged Edge vs. Kane for the IC Title coming up next.
[Commercial Break]
-Ross and Lawler were shown on camera again. They don’t usually show them on camera this much. They narrated freeze-frames of Kane beating Hardy. Then they went backstage to Coach trying to get comments from Lita. When Lita walked into her dressing room, Molly, Trish, Jazz, and Gail Kim yelled “surprise.” They had big smiles pasted on their faces. Hilarious. Trish said to “turn her frown upside down,” they decided to throw her a bridal shower. Molly said, “Since you like to sleep around so much, I got you something you can really use.” Molly then presented her with birth control pills and condoms. They sang “Trojan Man” together. Gail presented her with a framed picture of Kane kissing Lita the first time. Then they revealed a framed picture of what their baby will look like. That was a laugh-out-loud moment and looked like something they stole off of James Guttman’s “Raw Insanity” graphics package. Conan O’Brien would be proud to use that as part of his “If They Made It” segments. Jazz then presented Lita with a vibrating gift wrapped box and said, “A bit red machine of your own.” Lita stormed off. Victory barged in and shot Trish an evil look. Trish told Victoria she did a great job with Diva Dodgeball and asked her if her coach was Stevie Wonder. If I never hear another Stevie Wonder reference in that context again, I’ll die happy. Same goes for Helen Keller jokes (no relation, by the way). The Kane-Lita baby adds a point my 1-10 score for Raw. The “big red machine of your own” is pretty good, too.
[Commercial Break]
2 — VICTORIA vs. GAIL KIM
There were several cringe moments in the opening minute of the match. Victoria shook her bootie over Gail before moonsaulting her legs. Ross said it’s great to hear that Shawn Michaels is on his way back to WWE. Kim applied a cool and erotic headscissors/overhook arrmbar submission hold. Lawler said Ross has been married so many times, he has rice marks on his face. Ross shot back, “You’re one to talk.” Victoria finished off Kim with the Widow’s Peak. After the match Trish and Tyson Tomko ran out and attacked Kim. Steven Richards in a wig then came out and hit Tomko from behind between the legs. Ross called her a “mystery woman.” Fans chanted “Stevie, Stevie.” Lawler asked who it is and Ross said he had no idea.
WINNER: Victoria at 3:52.
STAR RATING: 3/4*
[Commercial Break]
3 — EDGE vs. KANE — Intercontinental Title match
Kane shoved Edge off the top rope. Lita then came to ringside at 3:00. Then they cut to a break.
[Commercial Break]
Lita was standing at ringside when they returned from the break. Kane battered Edge with forearms on the mat and then dropped a knee on his face. Edge tried to get the crowd behind him for his comeback to mixed results. I think Canadians turned against Edge because they adore Chris Jericho more than him, and he has been butting heads with Jericho lately. Edge speared Kane from behind, knocking him off the ring apron to the floor. They brawled at ringside briefly as Lita watched. Lawler said Lita is going to resign herself to the fact that she’s going to marry Kane next week. Meanwhile, Edge hit Kane with a top rope dropkick for a near fall. Lawler said Lita will soon realize how happy she will be for the next several decades because “they don’t call Kane the Big Red Machine for nothing.” This match could have used a brief promo from Edge to set the stage and help establish him with the crowd. Kane shoved Edge off of him and Edge knocked the ref down at 11:15. Kane then signalled for the chokeslam. Lita grabbed Kane’s leg from ringside. Edge charged at a distracted Kane, but Kane turned and gave him a big boot just in time. When Kane signalled for the chokeslam again, Matt Hardy ran out and gave Kane the Twist of Fate. Lita smiled. Hardy fled. The ref came to just as Edge gave Kane the spear and scored the three count.
WINNER: Edge at 12:46.
STAR RATING: ** — Okay match. Average.
[Commercial Break]
-Coach asked each of the women backstage to explain which remaining Raw Diva should be voted off. Carmella was mentioned by every one of them because she came across as someone who just wanted to win another contest but wasn’t particularly interested in making being a Raw Diva a career. One of them even said that Carmella makes fun of the wrestlers and their tasks. Another said she let them down by not being present for Diva Dodgeball. Carmella came up last and she said Joy should be voted off because she’s married and has children. Amazing. Is that not the sexist reason that women didn’t get promoted for jobs for the past several decades? She should be voted off just for that comment. Coach then revealed that the audience voting knocked Michelle out of the competition. Ross called it a “shocker.”
[Commercial Break]
4 — BATISTA (w/Ric Flair) vs. CHRIS JERICHO
Batista bashed Jericho early on. Jericho made a full-fledged comeback at 2:30 and played to the crowd, generating big cheers. When Flair jumped on the ring apron, Jericho nailed him with a springboard dropkick, knocking him to the floor. When he went for a Lionsault, Flair shoved him. The ref saw it and called for the bell. Edge’s music then played and he charged to the ring. Ross said, “Thank god! I won’t be two-on-one now that Edge is here.” Ross showed no skepticism that Edge was truly there to help Jericho, which should have seemed obvious after Jericho’s decision not to help Edge last week. Edge circled the ring, but when Flair and Batista put up some resistance, he just shook his head and left as if it wasn’t worth the bother. Ross then acknowledged how that might be retribution for the IC Champion in exchange for Jericho’s actions last week. Batista then gave a powerbomb to Jericho for good measure as Edge watched from the stage.
WINNER: Jericho at 3:55 via DQ.
STAR RATING: 3/4*
-Ross plugged the Benoit rematch against Orton, calling it the biggest main event possible. Lawler said up next was the Raw Diva voting segment.
[Commercial Break]
-Hunter gave a nervous Randy Orton a pep talk backstage. He praised him for winning the World Hvt. Title at such a young age. He said it is natural to be nervous, but “Evolution is your solution.” He suspiciously didn’t show any signs of jealously.
[Commercial Break]
5 — RANDY ORTON vs. CHRIS BENOIT — World Hvt. Title match
They began with about 30 minutes left in the show. When Benoit dominated early, Lawler complained about Orton having to defend the title so soon. He said Orton was probably out until four in the morning celebrating. The crowd “oohed and ahhed” early two counts. Benoit went for a sharpshooter. Orton escaped and rolled to the floor. Benoit followed by nailing him with a dropkick off the ring apron. He followed up with chops and then dropped him knee-first over the ringside stairs. As Orton clutched his knee, they cut to a commercial.
[Commercial Break]
Benoit had Orton in jeopardy with a Sharpshooter. Orton escaped, but continued to favor his knee. He got in a stretch of offense including some near falls, but wasn’t able to put Benoit away. Benoit made a full-fledged comeback and hit his German suplex series and then applied the Crossface at 18:30. The crowd stood and popped. Orton tried to roll through and out of it, but couldn’t escape. Benoit torqued up. Ric Flair ran to ringside, followed by Hunter and Batista. Benoit fended them off. Orton then gave Benoit an RKO out of nowhere for the pin.
WINNER: Orton at 20:10 to retain the World Hvt. Title.
STAR RATING: ***1/2 — The finish was a bit cliched and ’80s-ish, but logical given the way Evolution work. Orton celebrated with Flair, Batista, and Hunter in center ring. Hunter gave Orton some words of advice and then hugged him. Lawler gloated over Orton beating Benoit twice in two nights. Batista lifted Orton onto his shoulders as the show seemed to be ready to go off the air. Then, Batista dropped Orton backward. Hunter then punched away at Orton. Hunter grabbed Orton from behind and said, “You think you’re the man?! You will never be me.” He slapped him a Flair and Batista held him. Hunter then KO’d Orton with the title belt. Orton sat up bleeding. Ross and Lawler stopped commenting and let the beatdown tell the story. Hunter screamed, “Who’s the man.” Batista shouted, “You’re nothing without us, Orton! Nothing!” Batista gave Orton another powerbomb. Hunter then gave Orton a Pedigree. He then stood over Orton and held up the World Hvt. Title belt as the show ended.
PWTorch editor Wade Keller founded Pro Wrestling Torch in September 1987. He has been interviewed as a pro wrestling industry go-to analyst by dozens of TV and radio stations across the country; he has also been quoted in dozens of major newspapers and magazines across the world. Media entities that have featured Keller in stories covering wrestling include National Public Radio, Fox News Channel, ESPN Magazine, the New York Post, Entertainment Weekly, the Associated Press, and the Washington Post. He also hosted his own weekly two hour wrestling talk show on KFAN sport radio in the ’90s. Over the past 35+ years Keller has also interviewed, one-on-one, wrestling’s top names for in-depth “Torch Talks” and feature articles including powerbrokers such as Vince McMahon, Eric Bischoff, Jerry Jarrett, Bill Watts, Jim Cornette, Jim Crockett, Jim Herd, Paul Heyman, Kevin Sullivan, Jim Ross, Vince Russo, Brian Gewirtz, and Tony Kha n; top wrestling stars such as The Rock, Steve Austin, Mick Foley, Rick Steamboat, Jerry Lawler, Bill Goldberg, British Bulldog, Road Warrior Hawk, Jesse Ventura, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, Bobby Lashley, and Hulk Hogan; and legends such as Lou Thesz, Gordon Solie, Bruno Sammartino, Roy Shires, Terry Funk, and Verne Gagne.
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