SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
AEW DYNAMITE REPORT
MAY 22, 2024
BAKERSFIELD, CALIF. AT MECHANICS BANK ARENA
AIRED LIVE ON TBS
Commentators: Excalibur, Tony Schiavone, Taz
Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts
Attendance: WrestleTix reported earlier today that 2,015 tickets had been distributed so far; arena is set up for 2,468.
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[HOUR ONE]
-A remix of the Dynamite opening aired with a mix of scenes of AEW and “Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga.”
-Excalibur introduced the show as the camera panned a (very small) crowd in a largely darkened (one-fourth-full) venue. He said Don Callis was with them on commentary.
(1) WILL OSPREAY & ORANGE CASSIDY vs. TRENT BERETTA & RODERICK STRONG
After ring entrances, the bell rang 5 minutes into the hour. Callis threw some compliments at Cassidy and said he’d be a great member of the Don Callis Family. Trent set up a piledriver on the ringside steps (a transition mid-match move in AEW), but Ospreay saved him by yanking Trent to the floor. Strong and Trent double-teamed Cassidy at ringside ending with a spear. They cut to a double-box break at 4:00. [c/db]
Back from the break, Cassidy made his comeback with his hands in his pocket. He landed a dropkick and then kipped up and then tagged in Ospreay. Ospreay took down Trent, but Roderick intervened. Ospreay knocked them both down and scored a two count on Trent at 9:00.
Cassidy landed a casual elbow drop (playing into his persona) to score a two count on Trent. Cassidy set up an Orange Punch, but Trent grabbed his leg from ringside. Strong then took over. Four-way action broke out at 11:00. Strong set up his finisher on Cassidy, but Callis grabbed Cassidy’s boot to block the move. Cassidy then hit his Stun Dog Millionaire. Ospreay then hit his Oscutter. Matt Taven and Mike Bennett tried to intervene, but Ospreay ducked as they charged. Ospreay then landed a running flip dive over the top rope onto them. Wardlow then showed up and gave Ospreay a chokeslam on the ramp. Back in the ring, Trent gave Cassidy a running knee and then Strong gave Cassidy an End of Heartache for the win.
WINNERS: Strong & Beretta in 14:00.
-Afterward, Taven and Bennett held up Ospreay and then Strong nailed him with the International Title belt. They held up Ospreay, who was bleeding from his forehead, and Strong taunted him with the belt. Strong then gave Ospreay an End of Heartache. As Strong celebrated with his cohorts, Cassidy was still out at ringside and Ospreay was out inside the ring.
-Backstage, Nicholas and Matthew Jackson handed out flyers to security and said Darby isn’t allowed in the arena. Matthew mentioned Darby was hit by a bus in New York a few weeks ago. Matthews told a security guy to tuck his shirt in. Sonjay Dutt walked up to the Jacksons and said his Indian giant is going to destroy Bryan Danielson. Matthew encouraged Singh to hurt him. Sonjay said as long as the money is in the envelope, he’ll break him like a pencil. He then (clumsily) broke a pencil and then went into his cartoon over-the-top villain laugh and left.
-The Bang Bang Gang walked out. Excalibur said they have it in for Pac. White asked the Gunns, “Is it pack or pawk?” He said they gave Pac what he asked for. Pac then showed up on the big screen and said they’ve warmed him up a little bit. He said he did provoke them, but three on one isn’t exactly fair. He said he wanted to introduce them to his amigos. Penta El Zero Miedo and Rey Fenix showed up on the stage. Pac joined them along with Alex Abrahantes. Taz said Death Triangle are together again. They charged to the ring and brawled. Death Triangle cleared the ring after a minute. Pac then challenged them to an AEW Unified Trios Title match. “You think you’re hard; I guess we’ll find out,” said Pac. (Yep, that’s what he said.) Austin Gunn pulled a cart filled with six-man belts up the ramp.
(Keller’s Analysis: Usually I’m a fan of Jay White’s promos, but that time between his music stopping and his first words felt like an eternity, especially with the echoes in the arena in the background. And then he got nowhere quickly from there. Pac is always awkward, but also believably intense and no-nonsense.) [c]
(2) HOOK vs. BRYAN KEITH vs. KATSUYORI SHIBATA – FTW Three-Way Eliminator Match
Chris Jericho and Big Bill walked out. Jericho waved at the fans like Eugene back in the day and joined the announcers on commentary. Jericho said he loves having his face on TV. Hook made his entrance. Then Keith. And finally Shibata. The bell rang 35 minutes into the hour. With all three down after several suplexes, they cut to a double-box break at 2:00. [c/db]
Back from the break, Hook took over against Shibata. He went for a Red Rum against Keith, but Keith blocked it and head-butted Hook. He followed with Diamond Dust, but then Shibata went after Keith and applied a figure-four with a heel hook. Hook returned to the scene and put Keith in Red Rum as Shibata held onto his leglock. Keith tapped out to both submission holds at once. Taz wasn’t sure if he was tapping to Hook or Shibata.
WINNERS: Hook and Shibata in 7:00.
-Fans chanted, “Let them fight.” Jericho then said he liked that idea. He waved at the booing fans and said he wanted more camera time. Jericho said this makes his job harder at Double or Nothing. Jericho said he is just getting started as FTW Champion, so he’s up for a three-way match for the FTW Title. “I’m not losing to anybody ever,” he said. Schiavone said he received a text that it is officially a three-way. Excalibur called it one of the most anticipated matches on Sunday.
-A video package aired on Willow Nightingale vs. Mercedes Moné including footage of Willow beating Mercedes at a New Japan Strong event. They showed Mercedes being carried out with a leg injury afterward. Then they showed Mercedes debuting in Boston for AEW earlier this year followed by clips of promos and interactions between them since. [c]
-A commercial aired with the Bucks and Kazukchika Okada pushing their new sneakers.
-A vignette aired with Don Callis and Jon Moxley talking about Moxley talking about facing Takseshita.
(3) KONSUKE TAKESHITA (w/Don Callis) vs. MATT SYDAL
Takeshita kneed Sydal at the start and pounded away at him with forearms. He raked his eyes as the ref scolded him. Sydal got in some offense including a kick and a DDT. Takeshita brushed it off and landed a Blue Thunder Bomb and then a forearm for the three count.
WINNER: Takeshita in 2:00.
-After the match, Takeshita acted like a good sport and helped Sydal up, but then he lifted him and suplexed him. Moxley came out to “Wild Thing” and acted like he was going to say something, but then he whacked Takeshita. He then bent over and said he’d see him on Sunday. He left to his theme song through the crowd.
-The Bucks were handing out flyers that indicated Darby was banned. They noticed Swerve Strickland lounging backstage. They said it was good to see him. Nicholas asked if he had seen Darby. Swerve crumpled the flyer and asked for his music. Then he headed to the ring.
[HOUR TWO]
(4) SWERVE STRICKLAND vs. NICK WAYNE
Wayne jumped to ringside with a smile on his face right after the bell. Swerve went after him. Wayne caught up with him and threw him into the barricade. Swerve whipped Wayne and told the camera, “I’ll be his dad.” Fans chanted, “One more time!” Swerve whipped Wayne on the ass as Wayne was on all fours at ringside. Wayne made a comeback and dropkicked Swerve to the floor. He followed with a flip dive to the floor. Swerve caught him, but Wayne quickly turned it into a DDT. They cut to a double-box break at 2:00. [c/db]
Swerve landed a double stomp off the ring apron onto Wayne at ringside after the break. Wayne came back and rolled up Swerve and put his feet on the ropes to score a two count. Swerve blocked a Wayne kick and then landed a backbreaker, a powerslam, and then a leaping sidekick for the win.
WINNER: Swerve in 9:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: Wayne is a really good, reminiscent of The Lightning Kid’s run as a heel in the early 1990s Global Wrestling Federation on ESPN. Swerve had a confidence about himself throughout.)
-Afterward, Killswitch went after Swerve, but Swerve knocked him to the floor. Christian checked on Wayne, then turned and noticed Swerve was standing near him snarling. Christian bailed out and ran away. Swerve chased him, but landed an extra kick on Killswitch on his way. The camera followed them to the back area. Christian ran up to an SUV and yanked a guy out of it and sped off with a smile on his face. However, he was blocked by Prince Nana in an SUV. (How convenient.) Swerve yanked Christian out of the car and threw him into the side of a truck. They fought on top of the SUV. Swerve DDT’d Christian on the roof. Nana handed Swerve a chair and he swung it at Christian, but Christian ran away. Excalibur said there will be nowhere to run on Sunday. Nana and Swerve shook hands. [c]
(5) KYLE O’REILLY vs. MALAKAI BLACK
O’Reilly came out doing the dance that he did in NXT when he got his biggest singles push. The bell rang 18 minutes into the show. They stood and sparred with kicks and punches early. Malakai went on the attack at ringside as they cut to a double-box break. [c/db]
O’Reilly eventually made a comeback and applied an anklelock. Malakai fought out of it and landed a knee strike to the jaw. He scored a two count. They stood and kicked each other. Malakai won that battle with a spin wheel kick. O’Reilly went down hard and Malakai scored a three count.
WINNER: Malakai in 10:00.
-Afterward, the lights flickered. Malakai looked around and then suddenly a red slime blood-like substance sprayed down onto him. He went down. Adam Copeland then showed up on the big screen told him to be careful what he wishes for. He then let out a maniacal laugh and said, “See you soon.” Schiavone said, “Holy hell.” Taz said he is drenched. Excalibur said it looked like a crime scene. Malakai walked to the back covered in red goop.
(Keller’s Analysis: That clean-up won’t be quick or easy, so I’m expecting video packages after the break.) [c]
-A video package aired on Anarchy in the Arena.
-Excalibur then hyped the PPV line-up.
-A video package aired on the angle at Collision with Toni Storm and Serena Deeb.
(6) TONI STORM & MARIAH MAY vs. SARAYA & HARLEY CAMERON
The announcers noted the ring crew worked hard to clean up the ring. There were still red splatters on the ringside barricade. The bell rang 38 minutes into the hour. With Saraya in control, she did jumping jacks to show off as they cut to a break at 3:00. [c]
Back live, Excalibur said Tony Khan just texted him and said there will be a Casino Gauntlet match next week with the winner getting an AEW World Title match at Forbidden Door. Storm rallied, but Saraya broke up the cover on Cameron. All four brawled. They paired off in opposite corners. Saraya and Cameron landed powerbombs off the top rope for two counts. Storm and Mariah then kissed Saraya and Cameron. Storm then landed Storm Zero on Cameron for the win.
WINNERS: Storm & Cameron in 10:00.
-Afterward, Storm teased removing her top while blocked from the hard camera view (but not the fans behind her) by Serena Deeb’s dojo flag. Deeb ran in and bashed Luther, who was holding up the flag, with a chair. She then headbutted Storm. Fans were either silent or booing Deeb. Deeb then hit Storm with a high-heel shoe. She locked Storm in a leglock while sitting on a chair that trapped Storm under her. Storm frantically tapped. Two referees pleaded with Deeb to release it. Excalibur said she is lucky not to receive a fine or suspension.
-Backstage, White and the Gunns accepted the challenge from Death Triangle.
(7) BRYAN DANIELSON vs. SATNUM SINGH (w/Sonjay Dutt, Jey Lethal, Jeff Jarrett)
The announcers talked about this being a nearly impossible challenge for Danielson, which is weird since Danielson is part of matches where they refer to him as perhaps the best wrestler in the world while Singh just stands at ringside and is never talked about as a threat to any title. Singh landed a vertical suplex. Dutt knocked over the announce table so it totally collapsed. Fans chanted “You f—ed up!” Danielson went on the attack at ringside until Singh grabbed him as he charged and chokeslammed him on the ring apron (likely the audible from the planned table spot).
Back in the ring, Singh removed a turnbuckle pad. Danielson low-kicked Singh and then delivered a Busaiku Knee, knocking Singh into the corner without the turnbuckle pad. He followed with Yes Kicks. Singh brushed them off and chopped Danielson. Danielson fought back and applied a LeBell Lock. Jarrett and Lethal attacked Danielson. The ref DQ’d Singh.
WINNER: Danielson via DQ in 5:00.
-Excalibur said the intent wasn’t to win, but rather collect the bounty from the Bucks. Danielson avoided Jarrett’s guitar shot. Danielson set up Jarrett for a guitar shot, but Singh intervened. Singh punched the guitar into bits and then attacked Danielson. The Bucks then walked out with an envelope, presumably reward money for the attack on Danielson. Danielson avoided a TK Driver. Okada began walking to the ring, at which point Jack Perry attacked a distracted Danielson. Okada then gave Danielson a Rainmaker. The Bucks dragged Danielson up the ramp when the big screen showed a car arriving. Darby got out and had the flamethrower with him. Danielson tossed Nicholas off the ramp and through a table below. Nicholas asked how he could do that to him. He was bleeding from his hip area.
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