AEW COLLISION HITS & MISSES (5/11): Danielson cuts post-match promo, Mercedes throws out first pitch at Red Sox game, Dax vs. Billington, Elite’s never-before-seen post-Dynamite promo

AEW COLLISION – HITS & MISSES
MAY 11, 2024
VANCOUVER, CANADA.
AIRED LIVE ON TNT
BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR

Commentators: Tony Schiavone & Nigel McGuiness

– Hey! Welcome back to another edition of my AEW Collision Hits & Misses column. I am in the middle of getting packed up to leave for an out-of-state wedding, so I’ll try to make this column as brief as possible. (No promises.)

Also, for this episode of AEW Collision, my boyfriend and I decided to see if either one of us could correctly guess any of tonight’s winners! I’ll let you know how that went at the end of each match.

Also-part-two, I want to take a quick beat to wish every mother reading this a happy Mother’s Day, and so, to the only mother who is reading this (I assume), “Hi, Mom!”

(I see the whole trying to “make this column as brief as possible” thing is going well.)

BRYAN DANIELSON & CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI VS. TOP FLIGHT — HIT

This match was good, but the crowd was even better. This was a perfect example of an audience’s ability to elevate a match they’re watching, and boy was there a lot of audience tonight. While this wasn’t a “current-era WWE-sized” audience, there were more people attending tonight’s show than attended AEW Dynasty.

DANIELSON CUTS A POST-MATCH PROMO — HIT

After the match, Brian Danielson congratulated Top Flight on losing, which is a thing in professional wrestling and nowhere else. Danielson then hyped how much he loves working in AEW. Ostensibly, Danielson cut this promo as a means of hyping his Anarchy in the Arena match at Double or Nothing, where he will wrestle as a representative of “Team AEW,” but deep down, I imagine he’s genuinely happy with how the final years of his full-time career have played out in AEW.

We have gotten so many epic Danielson matches over the past three years with people I never thought he would get the opportunity to face. My one hope (a total longshot) is that Kenny Omega will become healthy enough to give us one more Danielson vs. Omega match before Danielson retires. Their match at the first-ever Grand Slam event ended in a time-limit draw, and even after all this time, I’ve still not forgotten how good it was. I’d love to see a second round that ends with the declaration of a definitive winner.

Also, speaking of definitive winners, congratulations to Top Flight on tonight’s hard-fought loss. Few people can lose the way they lose. Here’s a massive shout-out and massive respect to both of these tremendously defeated athletes for being losing losers. (Am I doing wrestling right?)

My Predicted Winners: Danielson & Castagnoli.

The Actual Winners: Danielson & Castagnoli.

WILL OSPREAY vs. LEE MORIARTY — HIT

This match was good because of course it was. It features Will Ospreay and Lee Moriarty. Both men are extraordinarily talented wrestlers. However, this match went on for over ten minutes, and the competitors were, once again, and not to belabor the point, Will Ospreay and Lee Moriarty.

No disrespect to Moriarty, but if Ospreay is the “best wrestler in the world,” it doesn’t make sense for him to take more than five minutes to put away a man who has, in the last month alone, lost to Orange Cassidy, Chris Jericho, Hook, Daniel Garcia twice, and Shibata thrice. In fact, since March 16, Moriarty has only won one match as part of a three-man tag team.

My Predicted Winner: Ospreay.

The Actual Winner: Ospreay.

SHANE TAYLOR BEATS DOWN WILL OSPREAY — HIT

After the match, Shane Taylor attacked Ospreay from behind, and as a Shane Taylor fan, I look forward to their impending match-up. That said, I hope AEW does the leg work to make Taylor feel like a bigger threat than they made Lee Moriarty out to be.

MERCEDES MONE THROWS OUT THE FIRST PITCH AT A BASEBALL GAME — MINOR-MISS

Mercedes Mone needs someone to script her promos for her. She is a very gifted wrestler who looks like a star, dresses like a star, and comes off like she thinks she is a megastar, and that last trait should be curtailed as much as possible (…unless she’s turning heel).

BRIAN CAGE & THE EMBASSY vs. EVAN RIVERS AND TWO TWINS MY BOYFRIEND KNOWS FROM TIKTOK — HIT

Brian Cage is an underutilized talent, and I hope he cheats himself to an egregiously underhanded victory in his upcoming eliminator match against Strickland because I’d love to see Cage vs. Strickland for the AEW Championship on a themed episode of AEW Dynamite this summer. Of course, Strickland should win the title match, hands down, but I think Cage would make a great foil by droning on and on about what a champion “should look like” and having Strickland show him what a champion actually looks like.

My Predicted Winners: Cage & Friends.

The Actual Winners: Cage & Friends.

SWERVE STRICKLAND CRUSHES TOA LIONA’S HEAD BETWEEN THE RING STEPS AND A STEEL CHAIR — MEGA-HIT

While I know Toa Liona’s head never came close to making contact with the chair itself, this looked like a devastating chair shot. Kudos to AEW’s film crew for shooting this perfectly, and kudos to Strickland and Liona for executing it perfectly.

SWERVE STRICKLAND CUTS A BACKSTAGE PROMO — MINOR-MISS

This promo, like most of Strickland’s promos, was an enjoyable listen, but I wish he’d spent more time bashing Christian Cage. Not only do I love hearing people bash Christian Cage (his character, not the person), but I don’t want Strickland’s focus to become too removed from Christian because their title match is literally two weeks away.

Side Note: So far, out of all of the matches AEW has promoted in 2024 (that don’t involve FTR), Christian Cage vs. Swerve Strickland is the one I’m anticipating the most. I really, really hope it delivers.

DANIEL GARCIA vs. K.M. — MINOR-HIT

Daniel Garcia’s follow-up to this squash match will do more to determine its value than the contents of the match itself.

DAX HARWOOD vs. TOMMY “THE DYNAMITE KID” BILLINGTON — MEGA-HIT

Dax Harwood is one of the greatest performance artists in professional wrestling. I use the term “performance artist” because Harwood doesn’t just wrestle; he tells compelling stories every single time he steps in the ring. Harwood never phones it in, and he never lets his fans down. I am consistently impressed with just how much he “gets” the art of professional wrestling and what makes good wrestling great. Younger wrestlers with immense talent, people like Dante Martin or Nick Wayne, should watch Harwood’s matches on repeat because his in-ring storytelling is the key to taking their already stellar in-ring work to the next level.

Speaking of “next level,” I have never seen Tommy Billington wrestle before, but I am so glad I got to see him wrestle tonight. I’m reticent to say AEW should sign anyone new to their already packed roster, but if they were going to consider signing someone, a Billington would be that one.

My Predicted Winner: Dax Harwood.

The Actual Winner: Dax Harwood.

THE ELITE CUTS A “NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN” POST-DYNAMITE PROMO — HIT

While I’ve seen a lot of people praise The Young Bucks for the newest iteration of their characters, I think at least a sliver of that praise should be saved for Jack Perry’s newfound promo skills. It is no secret that Perry struggled with promos before getting attacked by C.M. Punk, but now, somehow, to my dumbfounded astonishment, he has miraculously found his linguistic footing.

Side Note: Kris Statlander should call up C.M. Punk and say something 99 percent of the rest of the world would let roll off their shoulder. Someone there has to have his number, right?

THE LOUDNESS OF CHRISTOPHER DANIELS’ PROMO — MINOR-MISS

That was earsplitting. I am literally deaf, and that was loud AF. I get that Christopher Daniels wants to establish himself as a strong and credible defender of AEW, and he makes great sense as a foil while we wait for Omega to return, but the amount of screaming in that promo sounded less like “angry” and more like “my bungee cord broke.”

Side Note: I’d love to see MJF return as the ultimate defender of AEW. MJF and Perry have had great in-ring chemistry in the past, and if they want to turn MJF heel, they can always have him stab AEW in the back at some point.

THE ACTUAL CONTENTS OF CHRISTOPHER DANIELS’ PROMO — HIT

I especially liked the part where Daniels warned The Young Bucks that someone was going to be punished, but it wouldn’t be who they thought it would be… That was clever wording, and it heightened my interest in their upcoming match.

DAX HARWOOD IS GOING TO FACE OKADA ON DYNAMITE!!! — MEGA-HIT

Great, now I have to stare at my phone during my cousin’s Wednesday night wedding. I’m sure he’ll love that.

THUNDER ROSA vs. ROBYN RENEGADE — HIT

This was a short match, but it was better than I expected it to be. I feel lucky that I get to watch the commercial-free Triller stream of AEW Collision with my Australian boyfriend because otherwise, these six-minute women’s matches with three minutes of commercials would feel hella short.

My Predicted Winner: Rosa.

The Actual Winner: Rosa.

HOOK CUTS A PROMO — HIT

This promo turned out fine, but I spent the whole time distracted by Hook wearing a beanie that could best be described as a head sock.

ADAM COPELAND vs. KYLE O’REILLY — MEGA-HIT

This was an excellent match, especially for appearing on free television. The match itself was 20 minutes, but it easily felt like 10. This was also O’Reilly’s best match since returning, IMHO, and if you missed Collision, I hope you’ll go back and watch this main event. Sure, we all knew who was going to win (AEW’s specialty), but both of these athletes made up for that shortcoming by telling a compelling story in the ring.

My Predicted Winner: Copeland

The Actual Winner: Copeland.

FINAL THOUGHTS…

To the surprise of absolutely no one, I was able to accurately predict every single winner of every single match, and more concerningly, my boyfriend, who only watches wrestling because he loves me, was also able to predict every single winner of every single match. Aside from comprehensive and cohesive storylines, predictability is one of AEW’s biggest deficiencies. Don’t get me wrong, a story should never be unpredictable for the sake of being unpredictable (See M. Night Shyamalan’s entire career.), but there should at least be an occasional amount of uncertainty now and again

The last two episodes of AEW Collision were FANTASTIC, and I gave both of them a rare A-. However, I am unable to grade this week’s episode similarly.

SHOW GRADE: C+

AUDIENCE GRADE: A+

DAVID’S DODGY MATCH RECOMMENDATIONS:

Match of the Night: Adam Copeland vs. Kyle O’Reilly

Second Best Match: Dax Harwood vs. Tommy “The Dynamite Kid” Billington

Third Best Match: Bryan Danielson & Claudio Castagnoli vs. Top Flight

Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, I’m still working on my sign-off, but until next week, remember, in the future, everyone will be offended by everything for 15 minutes, and then they will forget about it right away and forever.

(David Bryant’s new bathroom-selfies can be found on his “Artist Formerly Known as Twitter” account @IamDavidBryant; a video of David Bryant being knocked unconscious by an exploding television set can be found on his Instagram account @IamDavidBryant, and David Bryant’s Threads account is threadbare and also located @IamDavidBryant because David Bryant sucks at usernames. David is a published author, circus artist, drag promoter, male pageant winner, unrenowned musician, sloppy figure skater, and the inventor of the world’s most energy-efficient lightbulb, which is also a candle. Less impressively, he studied screenwriting at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts.)