SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
Okay wrestling fans, now that Backlash is out of the way, it’s time to get royal. Let’s dig into the most overrated and under-appreciated moments from tonight’s Raw, as we begin our road to the American tradition of the King and Queen of the Ring…in Saudi Arabia.
OVERRATED – DAMIAN’S BIKER WEDDING ATTIRE
Why does Damian Priest look like he’s attending a biker wedding? With his dress shirt under a biker vest he’s both formal, and edgy. I’m not sure this works unless Rhea Ripley and Buddy Matthews are getting married at a biker bar.
OVERRATED – DAMIAN CAN’T SAY FRANCE
Apparently Damian Priest, in his show-opening promo with The Judgment Day, can’t pronounce “France” without flubbing the short line. If he’s going to be the face of Raw, to put it simply, he really needs to nail simple words, without stumbling over simple language…simply put.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THE FRENCH TRANSLATION OF ‘YEET’
Man, Jey Uso’s entrance just isn’t the same after the French crowd lit up the arena for him. This felt like going from a rock concert to a high school talent show (only by comparison). I’d also like to give kudos to Michael Cole for calling J.D. McDonagh the human Funko Pop. I also enjoyed Pat McAfee who, not to be undone, said that Finn Balor’s taste buds are the most unhappy in the world. Classic McAfee. Thirdly, I find Balor’s abs distracting. His abs have abs, and when he breathes it looks like he has gills on his stomach. It’s a bit much.
OVERRATED – SLOW MOTION BALOR
During this Jey Uso versus Finn Balor match, the two have a lot of chemistry and fluidity. That said, about midway through the match Balor throws what can only be described as a slow motion punch in real time. It looked like he was waiting for Jey to do something, but he didn’t, and Balor was stuck looking like a 10 year old that just saw “The Matrix” for the first time, and is pretending to be Neo.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – CHEAP FINISH FAKEOUT
I absolutely love that despite having Drew McIntyre come out to distract Jey Uso, Jey still won. That’s so refreshing because WWE always tends to go for the cheap finish as a means to start a new feud. Kudos to them for surprising me more than a 4 year old cranking a jack-in-the-box (and I ain’t talking about the burger).
UNDER-APPRECIATED – PUNK GETS THE EPIC ENTRANCE THIS WEEK
I don’t think I’m ever going to get used to this amazing backstage into the arena fluidity, with regard to C.M. Punk tonight. You’d think the novelty would have worn off by now, but they are using it sparingly, usually only once per show, for a big star. I love it. I love it like hot fudge on ice cream and I have too much of a sweet tooth for it to get sick of it any time soon. I am lactose intolerant though, but that’s neither here nor there. On we go.
OVERRATED – C.M. PUNK THE CLOSE TALKER
I dug C.M. Punk’s promo for the most part. It was a little long winded, and too inside baseball at times, but it was effective. What I DO have a problem with, is the fact that Punk has now become a close talker, and is probably making cameramen very uncomfortable. Personal space Punk. You can pull people in with your talking, metaphorically. You don’t need to encroach on someone’s personal space. Back up a step. I can count your nose hairs.
UNDER – APPRECIATED – NATALYA GETS LEFT HANGING
Did anyone else notice Natalya getting Jimmy Uso’d during her entrance? She’s walking to the ring, high-fiving and fist bumping fans, and then one, for whatever reason, pulls back, making for a hilariously awkward moment of her getting left hanging. Maybe this is a medical condition reserved for people in famous wrestling families. It’s like a nepo wrestling baby thing.
OVERRATED – GETTING YOUR KICKS FROM KICKS
There are far too many kicks in this Natalya versus Iyo Sky match. Is there some kind of no arms stipulation to this match? This contest has more kicks than a Footlocker. I don’t know if these two simply get a kick out of using kicks, but I personally don’t get my kicks from watching kicks, so can we kick this habit and have some
variety to the match, possibly with some use of arms? Please and thank you.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – NATALYA’S SIT DOWN POWERBOMB
During this Iyo Sky versus Natalya match, Natalya delivered an insanely impressive and brutal looking sit down powerbomb. She needs to use that more. That was a blast to see. I don’t have a good joke to insert here. That was just cool. Also, Natalya likes cats. That’s all I got.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – ILJA’S TRASH TALKING
This match between Ilja Dragunov and Ricochet is fast-paced and fun, but the element I’m enjoying the most is actually the feral trash talking that Ilja does during his moves. It’s just constant “oh no you don’t” and “now I gotcha.” I love it. I have to give a special mention to the overly telegraphed, but nonetheless impressive, springboard hurricanrana by Ricochet onto Ilja. This match is more of a spot fest than a polka dot convention, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t a blast to watch. I’m here for it. Also, Ilja’s finisher, The H Bomb, looks insane. That looks like it hurts more than a cheese grater to the leg, I’m looking at you “Evil Dead Rise.” Okay maybe not that painful but sue me, I can’t get that haunting image out of my head, and I had to use it as a means to cope the memory.
OVERRATED – STRONG BUT BORING
Ivy Nile versus Zoey Stark is good on paper. The two have a similar style of strength-led wrestling. But these two have about as much chemistry as a literature course. I feel like the same descriptor can be used for both of these two talents, strong but boring, kind of like every over-muscled male walking around the Jersey shore.
OVERRATED – THE MAN COMING AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND
I’m all for Becky Lynch getting a push, but she’s more stale than a loaf of bread bought on Thanksgiving, kept until New years. I’m also getting really sick of the man coming around line. Man is such a common word, isn’t there another famous song lyric or idiom we can employ? Man up? Man to man? Man of war? Yes, that one. Let’s go with that. You’re welcome.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – LIV’NING UP THE SHOW
Liv Morgan is really coming into her own as a great heel. She’s confident on the mic, solid enough in the ring, and emotes with cynical despicableness. She livens up (or LIV’ns up) every segment she’s in. I know Alexa Bliss made this her schtick, but Liv Morgan really embodies the Harley Quinn character traits of being sadistic just because she wants to be.
OVERRATED – MEDIOCRE DEBUT BY VALKYRIA
Lyra Valkyria versus Dakota Kai was decent. They had some highs, but it was muddied with a lot of clunky spots, especially, and unfortunately, the end spot. The ending is what we’ll leave remembering the most, and that was mediocre at best. Not the most promising debut, but she’s super talented and will shake off these butterflies.
OVERRATED – LESS THAN YEET-WORTHY YEETING
Why on earth would WWE show the Cleveland stadium trying, and epically failing, to do the Yeet wave? They even noted the lack of rhythm on commentary. I get what they’re trying to do. They did the same thing with showing people doing the Daniel Bryan “Yes” at various sporting events. But given the less than impressive result, including that in the show should have been kicked to the curb faster than P Diddy memorabilia. It did them no favors, especially after the spectacle of the French translation of “Yeet.”
UNDER-APPRECIATED – LUDWIG KAISER?
During Gunther’s entrance, I have no idea why Samantha Irvine pronounces Ludwig Kaiser’s name like it is some sort of perplexing riddle, but I enjoy it. Also do we still need to call Imperium, Imperium? Is it still a faction with only 2 people? I think we should let this wander off into the night never to return, like a confused deer you terrified by turning on your brights. Imperium is less of a Faction now, and more one man with the support of a zero body-fatted friend.
OVERRATED – PASSÉ SHEAMUS
Sheamus in a main event, when the WWE is hotter than ever, with fresh stars, feels like someone just gave me pogs for Christmas. Sure, they’re nostalgic, and fun to a certain extent, but they’re so yesterday. Sheamus, it’s not that I don’t like you. I just find you to be the pro wrestler equivalent of an overplayed and passé pop song by the Baha Men that doesn’t deserve any play in this hotter than ever nightclub. Too far? Like a mohawk and a septum ring, I’m going to throw self-consciousness to the wind, and just go with it…fella. Ya know, because you’re not the bar, at this stage, you just hit the bar.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SHEAMUS’S BACK SWEAT
And the Oscar for best supporting actor goes to…Sheamus’ back sweat. Did you see the chop Gunther gave Sheamus to the back? It literally sent enough sweat into the atmosphere to run a car wash for 6 hours. That was equally disgusting and impressive. I don’t know if Sheamus is just that sweaty, or if Gunther hits hard enough to dehydrate a human body, but either way I’m here for it. On a side note, I’d like to see Sheamus rename the White Noise, Red Dead Redemption. It seems more fitting, and has more of a cool factor than Frigidaire in a heat wave.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – BELIEVABLE NEAR FALLS
I have to give WWE credit, even though I knew deep down there would be no way Sheamus would be Gunther, they definitely scared me a few times. That’s just excellent match booking. I’m legitimately excited to see if they go with Jey Uso, Gunther or Ilja Dragunov as king of the ring.
Be sure to tune into “Acknowledging WWE” later this week in the Daily Cast lineup, where Charlie Cate and I will justify our title by doing exactly what it says.
Until we Yeet again!
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