SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
The following report originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
KELLER’S WWE RAW REPORT
MARCH 22, 2004
LIVE FROM DETROIT, MICH.
-The show opened with introductions from Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler, and then Michael Cole & Tazz. They showed the Raw crew in red shirts and the Smackdown crew in blue shirts backstage in separate room, awaiting their fate.
-They cut to a scene of Paul Heyman (sporting a neck brace from Undertaker’s tombstone last week) and Eric Bischoff facing off. Then Vince McMahon entered the picture. McMahon said this would be the first draft lottery in WWE history. There would be two bins with all of the names from Raw and Smackdown in each. There would be 12 picks in all by the GMs (confirming what Jason Powell reported last week in his Powell Report that there would be only limited talent-switches), and then the two GMs could trade any picks they want by 12 midnight. Bischoff told McMahon he fully expected the champions to be exempt. McMahon said he must not have listened to him because he said no one was exempt.
-Ross and Lawler talked more about the lottery, then Cole and Tazz talked more about the lottery.
-Bischoff and Heyman stepped out onto the stage and stood in front of podiums. Heyman was booed. Heyman thanked the fans for their irrelevant opinion. They chanted “asshole” at him. He told Bischoff he draws a classy crowd. Heyman drew a name and smiled. He said one of the premier groups in Raw was just about to be broken up. Evolution looked worried backstage (minus Randy Orton, who was missing due to tonsillitis), but then Heyman revealed it was Rene Dupree whom he drew. Cole and Tazz analyzed Dupree’s stats, and a graphic on the screen noted that he was the youngest person to hold a share of the WWE Tag Team Titles ever and he wrestled his first pro match at 14. Dupree walked to the ring. He said he has now been drafted to the Smackdown roster, but he said his last Raw memory will not be getting a Stunner from Steve Austin, as happened last week. He demanded one final match on Raw. Bischoff and Heyman had a brief conference. Heyman gave him permission to have a match. Dupree challenged anyone in the back. Chris Jericho accepted the challenge.
1 — CHRIS JERICHO vs. RENE DUPREE
Dupree did his silly French dance at 2:00 leaving himself prone to a schoolboy from Jericho for a near fall. Jericho took over offense and won after an anti-climactic enzuigiri.
WINNER: Jericho at 3:07.
STAR RATING: *
-Afterward Dupree screamed and demanded respect. Austin rode out in his ATV. He extended his hand to Dupree, who leerily extended his hand. Austin grabbed it and gave him the Stunner. They sure made Dupree seem worthless with those two segments. Hopefully the segment is used as an impetus for Dupree to swear off his silly French gimmick and take on a new persona on Smackdown.
[Commercial Break]
-Rico and Miss Jackie entered the ring.
-Eric Bischoff asked Heyman if he’s so sure that Smackdown is the best brand, why was Raw picked to host the draft. He then drew his first name and told Heyman he would no longer have to worry about what to call The World’s Greatest Tag Team since Shelton Benjamin was jumping to Raw. Benjamin and Haas hugged. Benhamin took off his Smackdown shirt and handed it to Haas. They listed Shelton at 6-2 and 245 pounds and ann All-American Wrestler at the University of Minnesota. Ross talked excitedly about Benjamin becoming a singles competitor on Raw. As Bischoff smiled on the stage, Kane’s fireworks went off and he headed to the ring.
2 — KANE vs. RICO (w/Miss Jackie)
WINNER: Kane at 0:27.
STAR RATING: n/a — Not really a ratable match.
-Afterward Heyman and Bischoff held microphones up to Kane, who said it doesn’t matter where he ends up as long as he isn’t on the same show as Undertaker. He grabbed each GM by the throat and then threw them aside. Heyman asked Bischoff to control his superstars, then he drew his second name. He laughed diabolically, then said, “Oops, sorry Eric, but it appears Paul Heyman’s Smackdown has broken up another supergroup on Raw.” Bischoff yelled, “Who is it?” Heyman said J.R. would “no longer be able to call this gentleman a blue chipper” because Mark Jindrak would be headed to Smackdown. Jindrak and Cade said their goodbyes. They listed Jindrak at 6-6 and a former WCW Tag Team Champion, age 24 and 253 pounds.
-Ross announced the main event would feature RVD & Booker T vs. Ric Flair & Batista. That could mean that Flair & Batista would be winning the belts to accomodate either RVD or Booker T jumping to Smackdown.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed Shawn Michaels backstage. Ross said even he was eligible for the draft.
-Bischoff drew Nidia’s name next. She walked out and said she was so excited to now have a chance to win the Women’s Title. She asked Bischoff if she could switch t-shirts. Bischoff said she could. She stripped to her bra causing Bischoff to oogle as she switched shirts. Heyman told Nidia he wished her luck and said she hoped she didn’t go blind again.
-Heyman was about to draw a name, at which point John Cena’s music interrupted. Cena walked out with the U.S. Title belt wrapped around his waist. Cena did a rap about the draft. He told Heyman and Bischoff that if they draft him, save their t-shirts because he isn’t kissing their butts. I’m not sure why he addressed that to Heyman in addition to Bischoff because only Bischoff can draft him. He then tossed some nuts at Heyman and told him to choke on them. Cena then drew a ball and handed it to Heyman. Heyman said it isn’t a real pick. Bischoff told him to stick with it and open it up to see whose name was inside the plastic ball. Heyman read it and then asked Bischoff if he wanted him to read it outloud. “Since you insisted that I take this pick,” Heyman said, “laides and gentleman, Paul Heyman’s Smackdown is proud to welcome Triple H.” Triple H did a lame spit take with his water (how utterly cliche is that!?) as he looked around the Raw room in shock. Cole declared excitement over Hunter shifted to Smackdown. I’m guessing Hunter will end up traded back to Raw on the technicality that Heyman didn’t draw the name, but that’s just a hunch. It could also lead to a Hunter-Cena Smackdown feud.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed the Raw locker room singing “Na na na na, hey hey hey, goodbye” to Hunter. Funny mocking of Brock Lesnar’s WrestleMania reception. Cole and Tazz talked about Hunter’s stats and credentials.
3 — CHRISTIAN (w/Trish Stratus) vs. CHRIS JERICHO
Spike speared Christian to start the match. Christian then controlled the first two minutes of offense. Spike came back with a dive onto Christian at ringside. Christian, though, quickly came back with a superplex attempt. Spike punched his way out of it and bit Christian, then leaped off the top rope onto Christian’s chest feet-first. He scored a two count. Christian fired back with a sudden Unprettier for the win.
WINNER: Christian at 3:17.
STAR RATING: * — Nice three minute match.
-Ross recapped the additions of Benjamin and Nidia. Lawler lamented the loss of Triple H.
-Bischoff was about to draw a new name, but breathlessly stopped and said it isn’t fair and he has to find McMahon. He rushed to the back and Heyman chuckled. They’re sure making it clear who the top WWE star is with the focus on Hunter’s situation.
[Commercial Break]
-They went to Bischoff complaining to McMahon backstage. Bischoff said the pick was not only illegal, but too damaging to Raw to even consider letting stand. McMahon said all picks are final. Heyman walked in and said amazing things happen on Smackdown. He announced that Eddie Guerrero would defend the WWE Hvt. Title against Triple H tonight. Heyman said he was lookiing after the best interests of his brand. McMahon said the proposed match would take place because he finds it in the best interest of both brands.
-Bischoff said he wasn’t about to be upstaged by Heyman. Bischoff said he is known for progressive thinking, not Heyman. Bischoff said to prove it he was going to pick a name and he didn’t care if it was Big Show or Michael Cole, and that person would face Chris Benoit later on the show. He pulled out the name, smiled, and told Heyman his next pick is someone he has had a tremendous amount of admiration for for a long, long time, someone who could match Benoit’s intensity anyday, anywhere – Rhyno. Bischoff pointed out that he is from Detroit, which may not be enough to get the crowd to care that much about him. They listed him at 6-0 and 275 with a history of being the WWE Hardcore Champion, U.S. Champion, and ECW Hvt. Champion. Bischoff held up a Raw t-shirt. Rhyno ripped off his Smakdown shirt, threw it at Heyman, and then put on the Raw t-shirt.
-Ross and Lawler plugged the tag title match and said it was coming up next. So far so good with the draft. The format is well done, carrying out the drama throughout the show really well. This shows another benefit of the brand split, creating drama out of something that otherwise just wouldn’t be available if the whole roster competed on both major shows each week.
[Commercial Break]
4 — ROB VAN DAM & BOOKER T vs. RIC FLAIR & BATISTA — World Tag Team Title match
Ross talked about this episode of Raw as one of the most historical of all time. Ross said he loves Eddie Guerrero as a competitor, but wondered if Eddie wouldn’t meeting his match tonight against Hunter. At 5:00 they cut to a commercial.
[Commercial Break]
Flair chop-blocked RVD from behind as the ref was distracted trying to get Booker to leave the ring. Batista the tagged in a fresh Flair who continued working over RVD’s leg. Flair applied the figure-four at 9:45. RVD reached the ropes 30 seconds later to force a break. RVD nailed Flair with a desperation enzuigiri, then Batista and Booker both got hot-tags in. Booker went to work on Batista with chops and punches in the corner. Booker hit the Book End and then did the Spinaroonie. Ross said it might be the last Spinaroonie ever on Raw. Booker knocked down an interfering Flair, then hit Batista with a front wheel kick and scored a two count. Flair and RVD then got involved. RVD hit Rolling Thunder on Flair. Batista set up Booker for his powerbomb. RVD went to break up the move, but inadvertently hit Bookerr with a flying superkick. Batista then gave Booker his sitout powerbomb (which still need a knee). Batista made the cover for the win. There was no obvious sign of dissention between RVD and Booker after the both. RVD seemed to be apologizing while Booker stared at Flair & Batista leave with the belts.
WINNERS: Batista & Flair at 13:36 to become World Tag Team Champions.
STAR RATING: **1/4
[Commercial Break]
-Paul Heyman said Tazz would love to hear this. He announced an extreme reunion with Rob Van Dam coming to his Smackdown.
-They went backstage to Booker telling RVD that they’d get their rematch and regain the belts. Coach walked up to them and said there would be no rematch because RVD was headed to Raw. Booker said no way, they’re a team. So far, so good with the draft. The right people are getting “fresh starts” on other brands.
5 — CHRIS BENOIT vs. RHYNO — World Hvt. Title match
I still don’t think they’ve done enough to “celebrate” Benoit’s World Title victory. His title win has been overshadowed by the draft. I think they should have had a victory interview with Benoit, perhaps sitdown style with Ross, plus a music video highlighting his career using all of the footage they have rights to. This doesn’t feel like an interbrand match match as much as a 2002 or early-2003 Smackdown match. It’s not as if Rhyno has been treated as a top star lately, either, but the switch to Raw should give him some chance at new life. Rhyno applied an early sharpshooter at 1:30. Benoit reached the bottom rope at 2:00. Benoit hit a top rope headbutt at 3:30 for a two count. Rhyno then set up the Gore at 4:30, but Benoit sidestepped it and put him in the Crossface (anyone not see that sequence coming) and Rhyno promptly tapped out.
WINNER: Benoit at 4:45.
STAR RATING: *1/4 — Not much time, but what action there was was good.
-They went to Bischoff backstage nodding at Benoit retaining the title. He got tapped on the shoulder from behind by Shawn Michaels. Michaels said as much as he wants a shot at Benoit, “the thing with Triple H and myself is far from over.” Michaels insisted Bischoff trade him to Smackdown. Bischoff said he’d do him one better and get behind him 100 percent. Bischoff said he would have him headlining against Benoit at the next PPV assuming they’re both still part of Ra as of the trade deadline. Michaels smiled and said there’s no better way to get back at Hunter than to win the title that means more to him than anything.
-Cole hyped the Guerrero vs. Hunter TV main event.
[Commercial Break]
-Bischoff drew Tajiri. Tajiri cried and hugged his partners. Ross talked about him having a degree in economics. Heyman drew Teddy Long. Jazz wasn’t happy. Bischoff then drew Edge, saying he had been away for a while, but when he returned he’d be property of Raw. Heyman wasn’t happy about losing Edge. Heyman drew a name and then threw it to the ground in disgust. Bischoff saw it was Spike Dudley. Heyman said at least he’d have someone to pick on from now on. Bischoff then drew the final Smackdown addition. He had a hard time reading the name. He smiled and said he couldn’t believe it. He said, “Vince McMahon said everyone is eligible.” He then drew Heyman’s name. The Smackdown locker room celebrated. Heyman stood in stunned silence. Bischoff said he had some laundry to do and a car to clean and he thought nobody would be better than Heyman. Heyman said he built ECW with Bischoff and McMahon as competition. He said he could help Bischoff, too, but he refuses to work in front of the slimy Raw fans. He said mostly, though, he would never work for Bischoff. “Screw you, I quit!” he shouted. He threw his mic down and walked out. Bischoff walked to the ring with a cocky strut. He said, “Good bye!” He told the crowd that he has been able to withstand two general managers and stood up to “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. He said he wanted to make it clear that anyone he may acquire in a trade, “Eric Bischoff is back in a big damn way!”
Edge’s music then began playing. He came out in all leather, showing great fire. Edge speared Bischoff, then played to the crowd.
-Ross and Lawler plugged Hunter vs. Eddie next.
[Commercial Break]
-They showed Heyman storming out of the arena and into the limo. Cole and Tazz wondered how that would affect the trade deadline.
6 — EDDIE GUERRERO vs. TRIPLE H — WWE Hvt. Title match
Hunter came out in a Raw t-shirt, then ripped it off and revealed a Smackdown t-shirt. Eddie drove to the ring in a fancy bouncy car. They cut to a break at 5:00.
[Commercial Break]
Hunter controlled the body of the match and settled into an abdominal stretch at 8:15. Eddie reached the rope to force a break. Fans chanted “Eddie, Eddie.” Eddie countered Hunter into a head scissors, then hit a standing dropkick to Hunter’s face. Guerrero dominated offense for several minutes. He caught a charging Hunter with an elbow at 10:30. Tazz said Guerrero outwrestled Kurt Angle at WrestleMania. Hunter made a brief comeback, but Guerrero countered with his three vertical suplexes series. When Batista and Flair came to ringside and interfered in the match, Cena and Rey Mysterio made the save. Hunter then grabbed the title belt and was going to hit Guerrero as the ref turned to the wrestlers at ringside. Michaels superkicked the belt into Hunter’s face, then dove onto the wrestlers at ringside. Guerrero then climbed to the top rope. Christian knocked Guerrero off the top rope. The ref called for the DQ. RVD attacked Christian at ringside.
WINNER: Guerrero at 13:45.
STAR RATING: ***
-Both locker rooms cleared out and a huge brawl took place at ringside. Ross and Lawler switched off calling the action with Cole and Tazz. Eddie continued to beat up Hunter inside the ring. Kane then made his way to ringside. Big Show came out next. Steve Austin drove to the ring and he led even more Raw wrestlers to the ring.
RECOMMENDED NEXT: 20 YRS AGO – WWE Live Event Results (3/19/2004): Eddie Guerrero vs. Big Show, plus Heyman promo, John Cena, Bradshaw, Torrie Wilson, Billy Gunn, Kidman
OR CHECK THIS OUT AT PROWRESTLING.NET: WWE: Nex Gen trailer, premiere date announced
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