SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
Ladies and gentlemen, my name…is Kevin Duncan, and it’s time to dig into Friday Night Smackdown, where Roman “Side Chick” Reigns will attempt to use magical words to reassert himself as the top dog in the WWE, while sitting in a dog house in Dwayne Johnson’s backyard. Let’s get into the most overrated and under-appreciated moments of Friday Night Smacktalk…I mean Smackdown…or do I? Let’s ROCK because the RHODES to WrestleMania are getting shorter by the day. It’s a disease. I can’t help myself.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SUPERSTARS ARE JUST LIKE US
This is incredibly childish, but I find an absurd modicum of joy in seeing Cody Rhodes carry his jacket on a hanger. For some reason, at least in my head, stars could never be bothered to carry their own jackets, especially on something so peasant-level as hangers. They really are just like us! Whether you like this, didn’t notice, or don’t care, it sure beats seeing him exit his luxury bus.
OVERRATED – TWO AFTERTHOUGHTS DON’T MAKE A RIGHT
Apparently, Naomi and Iyo Sky are battling tonight, to determine who is more of an afterthought leading into WrestleMania. Thrilling stakes!
OVERRATED – THE WWE G.O.A.T. FARM
Why does it look like Rey Mysterio accidentally wore his underwear outside of his wrestling tights? Also, do we really need to see G.O.A.T. on his tights? Don’t we have enough goats in WWE as is. Maybe we could go with G.L.O.A.T for Greatest Luchador of All Time. There is something oddly satisfying and meta to that.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SANTOS ESCOBAR
Santos Escobar is a phenomenal actor. Pair that with the legendary work of the WWE promos team, and you’re just mining gold by the ton. His cadence, his timing, his devious gravitas is absolutely top notch. He reminds me of an expensive whisky, sure he’s bitter, and he’s a tough taste to get used to, but the more you have, the smoother everything gets. And like any good liquor, the more you tango with him, the more it’s going to hurt in the morning. On a side note, Santos takes “Whistle while you work” to a whole new level. Even his whistles are badass. I wish I could whistle like that. If only I was born with Lucha libre royalty coursing through my veins, like the Emperor of this esteemed style.
OVERRATED – REY MISSED-ERIO
Rey Mysterio is moving slower and slower every time he’s in the ring. Seeing the botched springboard off the ring ropes was kind of sad. Rey would have never missed that in his prime. I don’t want to see him go, but there’s something really depressing about seeing wrestlers slowly deteriorate their legacy by refusing to stop wrestling.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – WWE IN VR
Dear God, WWE is firing on all cylinders with regard to upgrading the entire look of this show. In particular, the camera angles during Rey Mysterio versus Santos Escobar are as bold as a Luchador in a ladder match. These angles are long shots, risky oners that put us right in the middle of the action. The result is an absolutely epic and engrossing series of moves and moments, the likes of which WWE has never achieved. Seeing Santos on the outside of the ring, at eye level, and then whip tilt the camera up to see Rey Mysterio above us, as he leaps onto Escobar is like something out of a David Leitch movie. This almost feels like I’m watching in VR. Now, don’t get any ideas, WWE, just take the compliment. Seriously though, did James Cameron decide to direct an episode of Friday Night Smackdown? I can’t remember a time when WWE took such a dramatic leap into upgraded cinematography as they have in the last few weeks. This must be what it felt like to see black and white TV transition into color.
OVERRATED – THE FADING SKILLS AND TATTOOS OF REY MYSTERIO
Not only does it feel like Rey Mysterio is starting to fade in speed and timing, his bland-looking tapestry of tattoos is doing the same. Getting his ink redone, or at least applying a fair amount of reinvigorating tattoo balm would make him look several years younger. I’m not telling you how to live your life, Rey. I’m just saying this is a young man’s game, and if there’s something you can do to Benjamin Button yourself, get your Brad Pitt on, and abide.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – PLEASE REMAIN SEATED
Rey Mysterio’s seated senton onto Santos Escobar, into the timekeeper’s area was nuts. It was a little slow, sure, but damn if that didn’t look cool and pristinely executed. Well done, Rey Rey.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – DOMINIK MYSTERIO
I’ve been hoping for weeks that they had something good planned for the WWE’s favorite heat magnet, Dominik Mysterio. I didn’t anticipate him getting involved in the Rey Mysterio versus Santos Escobar match, but I am thrilled that he did. Rey versus Dom at WrestleMania feels like a huge match that I can get behind. Any time you throw Dom into the mix, he’s like a jalapeño…that just makes everything spicier. I’m here for it, Dom Dom…and Rey Rey…okay kay? See what happens when you give me good twists and turns? I go full Dr. Seuss. Well say what you will, I could watch this match in a box and with a fox.
OVERRATED – CAR RACING
I get that the WWE has a mothership network to feed into the synergy for, but I’m so sick of car racing ads. I also can’t help but wonder what happens during the pre-race kickoff for Sunday that Corey Graves keeps hyping. Tune in for the pre-race folks, while we fill the cars up with gas. Thrilling. It’s almost as exciting as discovering The O.C. is still in WWE. Oh BROTHER, no way this is going to be GOOD. See what I did there? No? Watch more wrestling and keep up, folks!
OVERRATED – NAOMI THE COPYCAT
Why is Naomi doing her best style impression of the artist formerly known as Sasha Banks? Seriously, you’d think she was going to a C.E.O. job interview, with her hair and outfit being nearly identical to AEW’s latest attempt to move the needle, Mercedes Monét (which thus far hasn’t worked by the way). With the exception of the jacket that is clearly (in my paranoid brain) a synergy-fueled promotion of more racing, designed after the illustrious (eye roll) checkered flag at the end of each race. Who even thought of using diner tablecloths as racing flags anyway?
UNDER-APPRECIATED – CONSTIPATED CODY
This header is a bit misleading as I don’t think this FACE TO FACE, Cody Rhodes and Roman Reigns graphic is good. It looks like Roman is saying “I’m tough and I’ll kick your ass.” It looks like Cody is saying “Oh yeah? Well I’m constipated and I’m gonna move you like my bowels, once I finish my internal story.”
UNDER-APPRECIATED – MULTIVERSE CAMERA WORK
I absolutely love this new multiverse camera work that constantly interweaves various storylines around the arena. It’s so simple to see Cody Rhodes signing autographs for WWE World at WrestleMania, while Naomi and Bianca BelAir walk past, talking about the battle of the afterthoughts later tonight. If this cinematography existed during the WWE Films era, it might still be around. Probably not, but the movies would
have been moderately more memorable. These shots plant little Easter eggs that remind us of all the cogs in this giant Smackdown wheel. I love it. Plus, it’s nice to get some mental relief, knowing there are other, way more entertaining storylines happening than this one with Naomi and Iyo “The Breakfast Club” Sky. Why The Breakfast Club? Because I imagine Iyo constantly singing “Don’t you forget about me”. It’s not your fault though Ms. Sky. WWE is the one that put you in detention with a bunch of charming misfits.
OVERRATED – THE O.C. GETS A GRAPHIC
Does The O.C. really deserve an augmented reality graphic? The answer is no, but even if they did, why is it a Shogun in a gas mask? That makes no sense. Chemical weaponry didn’t exist during the Shogun years that inspired the amazing new hit series of the same name on FX. Check it out. You won’t be disappointed, like you are in discovering you have to sit through a match with The O.C. tonight. Such is life. Side note, go back to the beginning of the match and look at Karl Anderson on the ring apron. He’s jumping up and down like Super Mario just got fire ants in his boots. Either that or this is some desperate plea for attention. Either way, I almost feel bad for this guy, and the island of irrelevance he lives on. Though I would gladly banish J.D. McDonagh there in his place, this is still just kind of depressing. I will give WWE credit though for sticking to the slow burn, bracket-fueled qualifiers for the six pack ladder match at WrestleMania. A lot of the teams feel like an Iyo Sky-afterthought, but it’s nice to have the progressive build to a quasi important tag team tournament. I have to think this match is going to Grayson Waller and Austin Theory over The O.C., since the group named after a famous C.W. show (just go with it) has been virtually non-existent, until their inexplicable inclusion into this illustrious tournament. I personally think The Creed Brothers should have one of these slots, as Julius Creed’s potential is enormous with the right booking. But we have time for that later.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – COREY GIVES THE O.C. SOME MEAT
Kudos to Corey Graves for giving The O.C. a bit of meat to justify their presence in the match. It was a nice touch to point out that they’re trying to get back to their ass-kicking roots. I can get behind that, even if I’m still watching the battle of the teams in the low 70s in WWE2K24. Corey and Wade Barrett are my absolute favorite commentary duo right now. They cross every t and dot every i, with regard to story beats, entertainment value and match-enhancing reactions without going full Pat McAfee trying to pull a spotlight heist. Sorry, Pat. You yeeted all over yourself too much for my taste.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – KARL ANDERSON’S ORC HEAD
Before I dig into Karl Anderson’s hilariously heady botch, I need to point out that it recently dawned on me (just now) that if you paint him green, he’d look identical to an orc in The Lord of the Rings. I’m so confident in this assessment, that I might actually do this photoshop for your viewing pleasure (and my self validation). Okay, back to the Anderson botch of the night. Anderson flips himself over the rope, onto Grayson Waller and Austin Theory outside the ring. All is well until he barely hits them, and his momentum sends him flying forward…head first into the barricade. Then he tries to play it off by celebrating. I don’t know if he’s trying to pretend it didn’t happen, or he’s severely concussed, but either outcome is a cause for alarm. Karl, how many fingers am I holding up? Wrong, I’m holding up zero, which is an accurate display of the odds you have to win this match. Here’s some ice for your orc head. It may not be a magic ring, but it’ll help with the swelling. You don’t want to end up like Festus (the once questionable career path of Luke Gallows). On a side note, why is Gallows dressed like he has a side hustle as a barbecue pit master? Times are tough, I suppose. Are you opening a branch in A-Town?
OVERRATED – CHEAP FINISHES
I get why they had Austin Theory cheat by pinning The O.C. with his legs on the ropes. It’s a classic heel move, and normally I wouldn’t be against it, but A-Town has been defined so down, and Grayson Waller’s effect is so weakly impactful, that they could have benefited from a clean win. Do we really need to protect The O.C. here? Is this some kind of cheap political pandering to the network (C.W.) that will be hosting NXT next year? I don’t get the justification for this finish. This feels more unbalanced than Kiefer Sutherland in a liquor store. Too soon? I think anything beyond 24 days from said incident is fair game. See what I did there? Just a little Fox humor for ya.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – A-TOWN DOWN UNDER
Did Austin Theory just casually throw out a gem of a tag team name in “A-Town Down Under”? That’s pretty fire. Why aren’t we making that more of a thing? He may get a fine for adding “mother f**ker” to the end, but it’s worth it for giving him an edge. He’s in the low 70s in WWE2K24, so what does he have to lose at the moment?
UNDER – APPRECIATED – BRON’S BREAKKDOWN
Seeing this Terminator-esq breakdown of physical attributes for Bron Breakker makes him feel like a huge deal, and pairs nicely with his intense squash matches lately. They go together like a manly cheese and a badass wine. Brosé anyone? I do wish the graphic had a brief explanation of what he spells Breakker with two Ks, but I digress. CCan’t winn themm all, I suppose. Special mention to the wildly effective inclusion of The Undertaker calling him a special talent and Paul Heyman saying he’s the future. I don’t remember any of these moments happening, but they are incredibly hype-worthy additions.
OVERRATED – IYO’S PEACOCK HOOD
Oh look, Iyo Sky finally stands out from the pack while walking with Damage CTRL, with a peacock hood. Hey, whatever helps you shine in a group made famous for hating vowels. In my twisted mind, I like to think Damage CTRL watches a lot of Wheel of Fortune, and has been groomed to think that vowel usage costs extra, so they just avoid it.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – WWE TOPS ITSELF AGAIN
OH MY GOD. Seeing the camera angle of the Philly sports memorabilia that turned and walked into an arena of insanely rabid, and voluminous fans was a thing of epic beauty. This is just three exclamation points at the end of WWE. This is the big time folks, and WWE isn’t shy to tell us. I’m here for it. It makes me feel like I’m literally missing out by NOT being there. These shots are pure ticket-sellers. Where have these angles been all my life? I feel like I’ve been in a somewhat stagnant marriage with WWE, that just inexplicably got spiced up by some added visuals. Yes, I just compared camera work to lingerie. Sue me. These shots are sexy.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – HOLLYWOOD CAME TO ROMAN
I wasn’t planning to go see The Pat McAfee show at WWE world in two weeks, but after seeing the clip WWE just showed of Pat with Roman Reigns, now I feel like it’s can’t miss. Special props to Reigns for the amazing line “I’m the only guy that didn’t have to go to Hollywood. Hollywood came to me.” This may not be entirely true, as he had a prominent cameo in Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs and Shaw, but it’s a great line nonetheless that makes me feel like The Pat McAfee Show has to be seen live. Another ticket seller moment for WWE tonight. I’m honestly exhausted by all of this reinvigorated awesomeness.
OVERRATED – JUST GLOW WITH IT
Naomi’s entrance almost works. I’m not a huge fan of hearing her spell her name at the top of it. It feels a little unnecessary. It’s not like you’re spelling C.E.O. which is short and punchy (if not a little repetitive, and weak if the crowd doesn’t chant along). This just feels like we’re trying too hard. I like the glowing accessories but it’s not enough to break up the eye-irritating fog caused by the black and dark blue lighting. I feel like I’m watching Naomi walk through some kind of poorly lit apocalypse, and I’m just squinting for any semblance of what’s going on. I feel like if I stare at this and squint long enough I’m going to end up with more eye wrinkles than Roman Reigns mid-promo. Too much, WWE. Too much. I know you want us to just glow with it, but I’m honestly concerned this is going to cause acute blindness.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – UNEXPECTED ATTACK
Nice, fresh angle by WWE to have Iyo Sky not enter with Damage CTRL, even if they did have to stand there for an unnaturally long time, before cutting backstage to see Iyo destroying Bayley. I wasn’t expecting that, and while I think it could have been a lot tighter, that was effective. I don’t think it’s enough to send a private jet to the island of irrelevance to bring Iyo back to the mainland, but it’s a start.
OVERRATED – COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE OFFENSE
Much like The Rock serenading us last week, this offense at the hands of Naomi, seems self-serving and counter-productive against Iyo Sky. Sky is in a title match at WrestleMania. While it’s nice to see this aggressive side of Naomi, it’s not worth sacrificing a build for Iyo, who should be making short work of Naomi. This is like telling me there’s going to be a Hobbs & Shaw sequel, but at the end of the first movie, you have them get their asses kicked. Why would I care after you’ve watered down my leads? Wade Barrett just said that this is the best version of Iyo Sky we’ve ever seen. Wade, I’m afraid I’ve got some bad news. Your comment is moot, because this is the ONLY version of Iyo we’ve seen in months. There is some good offense from Iyo, but this match really feels like they’re both wrestling with ankle weights on. It’s either that, or my WiFi is buffering. I’m going to restart my router and the match. Nope, it’s them. How dare I nearly blame Verizon Fios for Naomi and Iyo’s showcase of how to do slow motion in real time. Apologies, Fios. I won’t doubt you again. Side note, there is nothing sadder than seeing a wrestler try to start a chant that doesn’t take. Naomi gave it her all to start a fist bump-fueled “Go” or maybe “Glow” chant, but looked like she just got dumped when the crowd didn’t reciprocate. You can’t force love, Naomi. You gotta earn it.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – NAOMI CORNERS IYO
Naomi bashing aside, her close-quartered offense against Iyo as she sat back to the turnbuckle, was fresh and impressive. She was explosive. The hits looked brutal and I especially enjoyed the split splash (new name?) she did that ended with one of her glowing feet nearly bursting through the screen in a 3D-like closeup. I didn’t even have to wear cheap glasses that I can never get the smudges out of! Bold camera work that could have netted the cameraman a black eye. Totally worth it. Not to be outdone, Iyo’s meteora to Naomi in the corner was fast-paced, powerful-looking and really enhanced the promise of her WrestleMania match with Bayley.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – MORE EPIC CAMERA WORK
It’s amazing how simply changing the angle of a superplex (Naomi to Iyo Sky) can alter the entire feel of the move. Having the camera look up at the two on the turnbuckle, as Naomi pauses for dramatic effect, and then dropping down through the ropes to capture the impact, was pure action movie making at its finest. What’s up, Michael Bay? These little nuances make even the most overused, mundane moves feel fresh and reinvigorated.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – JADE CARGILL HYPE
That was a fantastic promo for Jade Cargill. It showed off her physique, her charisma, gave her a platform to deliver some character-defining one liners and more. I personally loved hearing her refer to herself as the headline. That’s catchy. I hope that sticks. I’m excited to see what she can do in WWE. There’s no rush bringing her into a crowded fold, so if they’re debuting her before Wrestlemania, she has to be ready. I feel like an anticipated summer blockbuster just got its release date moved up. I can’t wait to see what Jade “Dune Part 2” Cargill has up her sleeve. Although, that metaphor may not work because she seems to be allergic, or at least opposed, to sleeves. But I digress. Next week, Smackdown becomes Jade Town, and I can’t wait to see what they have planned for her. She’s like a ChatGPT, AI creation of a “perfect WWE superstar”.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – RANDY GETS PRETTY SCARY
I thoroughly enjoyed Kevin Owens’ dry wit in this segment with Nick Aldis, Pretty Deadly and Randy Orton. When Pretty Deadly told Owens he didn’t have any friends, I laughed out loud when he didn’t refute it, and simply said he has an acquaintance that he’s going to ask to tag with him, against them. Then, having Randy Orton just be in the room (I’ll let the overly serendipitous timing slide) and seeing Deadly jump 37-feet after noticing he was there, cracked me up. Just when I think this great segment is over, we hear Owens ask Orton if he wants to hang out on his bus because he’s always wanted to see it. Owens is the absolute king of throw away lines that are absolute comedy gems if you’re listening closely. If WWE Films was still around, he’d be great in some kind of buddy cop movie. Am I missing WWE Films, or is absence just making the heart grow fonder? Let’s move on before WWE tries to make a sequel to the Triple H-starrer, The Substitute. And yet again, when I thought this was over, we get a Kevin Owens, two birds with one stone punch, followed by a hilarious “Randy, I did it!” I can’t get enough of Kevin Owens. He’s like a package of Starbursts, I want all the flavor in one sitting.
OVERRATED – HOME INVASION ANGLES AND DATED CAMERAS
I hate home invasion angles, especially when executed by babyfaces. Don’t they know this is a felony? I don’t need to see L.A. Knight show up at A.J. Styles’ house to get me stoked for WrestleMania. Also, Knight’s justification didn’t make any sense. He said he’s there because he’s not going to wait for Styles to come to him. What? He literally jumped Knight at the end of his promo last week. He LITERALLY showed up. Also, did anyone notice the horribly fake camera glitch effects when it got knocked to the ground? Cameras don’t do this anymore. Those glitch visuals were a byproduct of linear, tape-using cameras not being able to sustain any kind of blunt force trauma (see what I did there?). Cameras in the digital age don’t do that anymore. You can drop it off of Omos’ shoulders and it wouldn’t make even one of those glitch distortions. That said, the body camera footage was a fantastic, Cops-esq touch that felt different and fresh. It definitely added some realism to a moment I was rolling my eyes during.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – BOBBYJUICE
Bobby Lashley looks like Beetlejuice and I kind of love it. The teaser for the appropriately named sequel, Beetlejuice Beetlejuice just came out so I hope this is intentional. Even if it’s not, I respect that Lashley has a similar fashion sense to the ghost with the most. Fashion praise aside, if A.O.P. beats The (athletically gifted) Street Profits, I will officially lose interest in this ladder match at WrestleMania. I get the appeal of having a big men force in the match, but not at the sacrifice of what we could get from the Profits’ amazing offense. Do the right thing, here WWE. On a side note, I still don’t get what Paul Ellering brings to the table aside from moody Monopoly guy vibes. He does NOT like it when people pass go. I also hate this low rent, 90s-style black and white, low frame rate gimmick for A.O.P.’s entrances. This must be the same camera that was dropped at A.J. Styles’ house. Can we please return this camera to the Smithsonian now?
OVERRATED – TEA TIME FOR DAWKINS
I have all the respect in the world for Angelo Dawkins, but I’m having a very hard time taking him seriously while he’s punching someone in his tea time gloves. I half expect him to take off one of these gloves, slap an opponent across the face with it and say “How dare you sir.” On the flip side, I can’t get enough of Montez Ford’s charisma. He’s like a Red Bull mixed with espresso that’s washed down with a combination of Zoa and Prime Energy. Sure, he’s a heart attack waiting to happen, but at least he’ll go out with a bang.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – CATCHING PROFANITY
Seeing Montez Ford flip out of the ring, and A.O.P. catching him was insanely impressive. This was massively enhanced by the look of shock, then fear in Ford’s eyes, and the uncontrollable exclamation of “Sh*t” which WWE failed to catch and bleep in time. That may get him a small fine, but it was worth it for a very real-feeling moment. Am I the only one that thinks Akam and Rezar seem like two guys who were deemed mentally unfit for military service, but still wear camo on the weekends, and dare the government to try to take their firearms? I’m also fairly sure Ford almost hit his head on the arena ceiling when he leapt for the hot tag to Dawkins. It’s like Ford has a built-in trampoline under his legs at all times. The guy jumps higher than Indiana Jones in a pit of snakes, or a politician in the presence of truth, or WWE at the chance to highlight WWE2K24! He may be the only man that doesn’t need to use a ladder in a ladder match.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – DAINTY GLOVE DAWKINS WALKS ON AIR
Angelo “Dainty Glove” Dawkins earned his man card back with his hot tag-fueled flurry of offense. Go back and watch the start of this again. It is so absurdly amusing to see him leap over A.O.P. like he’s running on air. It’s such a small little nuanced addition to a leap, but I found it wildly entertaining. He basically Matrixed his opponent. Not to be outdone, Montez Ford is so athletic that I’m half-convinced he did parkour out of the womb. When his mom found out she was pregnant, I’d bet money that the test didn’t show a + or – and simply displayed an emoji of someone leaping.
OVERRATED – THE FINAL CHAPTER’S RERUNS
I think The Final Chapter is both a terrible faction name, and puts the members of it in danger of a copyright lawsuit from Cody Rhodes. Copyright infringement is no joke, gentlemen. Just ask Paul Ellering about his lawsuit with Hasbro over impersonating the Monopoly guy. Millions of dollars and one near go to jail-card later, and he’s still fighting. Did we seriously end more ladder qualifying matches with a small package roll up? Seriously, WWE? I feel like I’m watching reruns tonight. This was partially redeemed by Montez Ford’s post match energy, grabbing and shaking the camera, and telling us he’s in our tv screen. Juvenile and simple as it may be, it cracked me up. This guy is like the wrestler equivalent of Ace Ventura, only instead of animals, his joy is derived from violent athleticism. Alllllrighty then, Mr. Ford.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – KNOWING HOW IPHONES WORK
This is an absolutely pointless facet of a segment to take issue with, but seeing Paul Heyman talk into the camera of an i-phone is kind of hilarious. I feel like I need to enroll Heyman into one of those old people technology classes, so he can learn that the microphone is in the BASE, not the top, of an i-phone. We’re on the 15th iteration of this beloved technology, so there is no excuse to not understand it at this stage. This is about as out of touch as calling a WWE PLE a PPV. Please acknowledge your understanding, Mr. Heyman.
OVERRATED – ROMAN VOMITS BLUE
Why does Roman Reigns’ augmented reality graphic in his open, showcase him vomiting some kind of blue bile? Did he just watch too much of Naomi’s entrance to the point that it wretched his esophagus into attempting to get rid of the blue he ingested? I also think it was a very bad directorial move to cut to shots of the crowd during Roman’s entrance. People love to cheer The Bloodline, and showing a sea of pointers in the air works against your babyface, Cody Rhodes. Even if people are cheering Reigns, you shouldn’t be highlighting it, as it could cause a contagious response that carries over to the WrestleMania crowd. In the words of Ryback, who thinks he’s more popular than C.M. Punk, (slaps head and says) “Stupid.” I also think Roman needs to work on his entrance pacing. This is the third time he’s hoisted his belt in the air, followed by fireworks, only to have his music crescendo 2 seconds later. Listen to your song, my Tribal Chief, and please try to time your belt lift for the sting of the song. It will enhance everything you’re doing. Otherwise you just come off as Helen Keller entering a WWE ring, completely misaligned with the audible cues of the music. One other add here, if you go back and watch his entrance again, you’ll notice when they show a shot from behind the crowd, the dominant presence of a backwards MAGA hat that the cameraman hilariously notices and quickly moves out of frame.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – ROMAN REDEEMS HIS POOR TIMING
Once in the ring, Roman Reigns perfectly, and I mean PERFECTLY, times lifting his belt in the air with the music. That’s a big old attaboy for you Mr. Tribal Chief. Well done. That was better timed than the fist pump to the air by the kid in Free Willy as the orca leapt to its freedom.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – UNINTENTIONAL DOPPELGANGERS
If you go back and watch the moment of Cody Rhodes on the screen walking backstage, toward the ring, you’ll notice an absolutely hysterical, albeit unintentional Paul Heyman doppelganger behind him. Same haircut. Similar suit. It’s completely jarring, and makes you do a double-take. WWE, unless you’re bringing back WWE Films to produce a Jordan Peele movie, please be cognizant of intentional dopplegangers. They’re distracting, and they frighten me. One might even say this Cody shot will give me nightmares. Oh words, how fun you are to play with.
OVERRATED – NUMBER 2 FOREVER
This is a very confident, very effective promo from Roman Reigns against Cody Rhodes. That said, it’s oddly serendipitous that he keeps calling Rhodes a number 2 when I can’t unsee Constipated Cody in their bout graphic. Overall, I thought this was a bit of a weak back and forth. I think Roman had the better showing here, but Cody did have a nice punch at the end with saying he’s not number two, he’s “the one”. I also enjoyed the Thanos snap, albeit with a delayed cue of Roman’s music, before revealing his cronies, Jimmy Uso and Solo Sikoa. It paved the way for an ever better reveal of Cody having Jey Uso and Seth Rollins there with him, as it harkened back to what he said earlier “If you came alone, I came alone.” I latched onto that immediately as him having backup waiting in the wind. That said, I’m disappointed we didn’t get Tama Tonga’s debut tonight, as was rumored all week.
I look forward to the three on three match next Friday on Smackdown, and I’ll see you Monday for the Seth Rollins fashion show.
OR CHECK THIS OUT AT PROWRESTLING.NET: WWE Friday Night Smackdown results (3/22): Barnett’s review of Roman Reigns and Cody Rhodes, Rey Mysterio vs. Santos Escobar, WWE Women’s Champion Iyo Sky vs. Naomi in a non-title match
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