SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
Hello Smackdown, my old friend. It’s been seven whole days since I’ve seen you, but absence makes the heart grow fonder. So, in the name of love, what gifts hath ye brought me? The Rock is going to appear? Okay cool, but what matches? Rey Mysterio returns? Again, cool, but any matches? Dakota Kai versus Bayley? Now we’re talking. Let’s dig into the most overrated and under-appreciated moments from the show you can watch at any airport, during a Friday Night Patdown. Rhyming puns…almost as much fun as watching Roman Reigns try to escape Rock’s shadow.
OVERRATED – ROCK’S VEST
Another week, another vest that makes The Rock look like he’s cosplaying something. Is he making a Medieval Times movie? On a side note, if he walks any slower he’s going to sweat through that vest before he gets to the ring. Then he’ll need to grab another one from the Downton Abbey gift shop…guvnah. Up close, it actually looks like he’s wearing gift wrap. Seriously, he looks like a college professor teaching a course on Mortal Kombat.
OVERRATED – ROCK HARD LOVE
What is this Rock love fest? Unless he has an amazing swerve coming, I see this reciprocation of love from The Rock as a complete distraction, and possible problem for the 2 WrestleMania main events. This seems massively self-serving and tone deaf. Yes he’s getting cheered, but all he has to do is take a few cheap shots at Memphis and Cody Rhodes and he’ll have them in the palm of his hateful hand. As a director of the board of T.K.O., I hope he pivots in the segment, and does what’s best for business (I can’t help myself). Okay, there we go. Just a mention of what he’s going to do to Cody and Seth Rollins elicited booing. I’m not sure if they’re booing the names mentioned, or the individual attacking said names. I’m pretty sure Rock thinks the former, but I’m not 100% clear here. I feel like I’m clothing shopping for the Rock. Nothing quite makes sense, it’s a lot of sizzle and no steak, and I’m still wondering how much his chain costs. Telling us would heelify him a bit.
OVERRATED – THE ROCK’S MIDLIFE MEMORY LOSS
Is The Rock so old that he can’t remember lyrics he wrote? Do we really need to see him reading them? This takes me out of the moment entirely. He’s literally an actor. Memorizing lines is what he does. This is starting to feel phoned in.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – ROCK DESTROYS SETH ROLLINS
Okay, a lot of The Rock’s song is underwhelming and not that funny, but calling Seth Rollins “The human embodiment of cringe” is right on the money. As much as you may love Cody Rhodes, you can’t argue with facts (about his partner). That right there sums Seth up to a T. He is pure cringe, hard to take seriously, and like always, is flailing to have a foothold in some kind of character identity. Side note, it was a missed opportunity when The Rock said Seth’s wife is more popular than him. Come on, Rock. Why not go for the jugular and say she’s more “Man” than him. Low hanging fruit, and you totally missed it. I feel like The Rock had a few too many Teramanas, mixed with too many Zoas, and he’s not quite on his A-game tonight. I do like this “The Final Boss” gimmick of The Rock, but doesn’t that, like most of what he’s doing, undermine Roman Reigns’ supreme stature?
OVERRATED – NO TEARS
Rock showed a clip of Cody Rhodes, and said he cried on Monday Night Raw. It was a wildly effective, emotional promo, but don’t say he was crying. There wasn’t a tear to be shed. Now I don’t know if Cody has a draught in his tear ducts, or he’s just a better actor than Cillian Murphy, but there weren’t any more tears than there was stylistic sense in The Rock’s Party Fair, table cloth vest.
UNDER- APPRECIATED – INTIMATE INTENSITY
Okay, the Rock’s promo took a gloriously evil swerve once he started talking about and to Mama Rhodes. I love that the WWE went for an insanely intimate, powerful closeup while The Rock delivered his promo with unwavering intensity, and believability. There’s that great actor giving us the movie villain we want. Kudos Rock. I also like this shot because I can’t see your Game of Thrones, Halloween costume vest.
OVERRATED – ROCK CONFUSES HIS BELT
Okay, wait a second. At first, The Rock said he was going to beat Cody Rhodes with “a belt like this” and then give it to Mama Rhodes. But then he pivots a few moments later, and says “It’s going to be this belt.” Is it this belt? Is it a belt like it? Should we take the beltway to WrestleMania? Did you enjoy belting out your 4th grade-level song? Okay, maybe I’m taking this too far. Is that below the belt? I guess I just have a lot of belt up rage. As sure as The Rock will wear a vest purchased at a Mardi Gras gift shop, I will always give you puns to ruin (or maybe improve) your day. Side note, they love my puns in New Orleans. Give people a few hurricanes, bead necklaces, and throw inhibitions out the window, and I’m the Dane Cook of wrestling jokes. And look at that. I burned myself. Another notch in your belt Rock, and you didn’t even have to try. You’re Kenough, Dwayne.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THE ROCK GOES EVIL MAUI
All the wrong turns on the beltway aside, The Rock channeling and quoting his famous song from Moana, was pure brilliance. That was unexpected, effective, and not something I’d think he’d touch, since he’s making so much money off of it. He just took that Disney wholesomeness, turned it sideways and shoved it…right in our faces. It’s the PG-era folks. Wuddayagonnado? Special mention of the camera work on this moment. It’s a perfectly composed shot, with shadows cast under The Rock’s eyes, for maximum evil vibes. Not too on the nose, this porridge is just right. Rock, you should send that man a case of Zoa (which are delicious, all natural energy drinks).
OVERRATED – BABY ROCK
Am I the only one that thinks The Rock looks like a boss baby? He needs to grow back that sick goatee from Fast Five. That was peak Rock badassery. Grumpy human fetus doesn’t do it for me. Sorry, Rock. I know you put a lot of effort into your grandma curtain-chiq vest, but you still look like a moody Monopoly man, suffering from Alopecia. Too far? So is saying drunk and horney women are your type. It’s 2024, Mr. “The Rock” Johnson. We don’t say such things. Slap on the wrist, right next to your goosebump-addled arm. Side note, I find this whole Final Boss gimmick contradictory. The Rock is literally in the main event on night 1, which affects the stipulations for night 2. As of right now, Roman Reigns is the Final Boss. You can’t be the final boss if you’re the second-to-last fight. To dip back into Mortal Kombat, in honor of your MK-styled academic vest, you’re Goro, not Shang Tsung. Double side note, The Rock’s vest now looks like a wedding cake to me. I don’t think keeping a slice of that in the freezer for a year will age well. It doesn’t sit well now, at a ripe young age. Also, is that a fancy donut on the back of said vest? Move over Krispy Kreme, I smell a mana donut cooking.
OVERRATED – SANTOS ESCOBAR’S SWIM TEAM
Why are Santos Escobar and his cronies hanging out in a completely empty locker room? Do his boys travel with their shirts off, six packs out? Where is there stuff? Did they get robbed? Did the airline lose their luggage? Dispersal kleptomaniac, Seth Rollins, who robs his wife’s closet, strike again?! I’m genuinely concerned. It’s a chilly night in Memphis and Berto and Angel look like they’re headed to a swim meet.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – LUCHA LIBRE AND LADDERS
I honestly don’t care if Legado del Fantasma or the L.W.O wins…the real winners are the fans. Having Lucha Libre competitors in a ladder match is like adding peanut butter to a hot fudge sundae. Sure, it’s going to be delicious anyway, but this is just more flavor that makes everything pop more.
OVERRATED – ZELINA VEGA’S PLAYLIST
Why is Zelina Vega wearing headphones? Does she hate crowd noises? If so, not much to worry about there tonight for your guys. Is she listening to a true crime podcast? Did she just discover Serial? Is she listening to some sick death metal playlist, that her husband (Malakai Black) made for her? Or, are these just for show? Nope, I like the idea that she’s listening to a true crime podcast. Zelina, if you want your team to kill it in the ring, you might as well listen to murder.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SPEED OF LUCHA MATCHES
This match between el Legado del Fantasma and the L.W.O. is one of the slowest paced Lucha Libre-style matches I’ve seen in a long time. Everyone in the match is incredibly talented, but it feels like they all took sleep gummies before the match. Does L.W.O. stand for Lethargic World Order?
OVERRATED – FAILED “SI” OF CHANTS
Few things in wrestling are more embarrassing than trying to force a crowd chant, and having it fail faster than Mike Adamle on commentary. Go back and check out him announcing Jeff Harvey of the Harvey Boys. Enjoy. L.W.O.’s failed “Si’’ chant was kind of embarrassing to watch. They really committed to chanting it themselves for a few beats too long, before abandoning the effort. On paper this match should be fantastic. I don’t understand what’s going on tonight. Are we jet-lagged? Did everyone have a shared nightmare about the Curse of Llorona? Side note, understandable, that movie freaked me out too. Get some pep in your step guys. Pound some Prime Energy drinks, and go balls to the wall, full Logan Paul. I don’t know why this isn’t clicking for me tonight. The moves are great, the in-ring story is engaging, but it just seems like everyone is moving with sand in their boots tonight. I also can’t unsee Lethargic World Order in my brain, as what the acronym L.W.O. stands for…apologies and you’re welcome (he sings in his best evil Maui voice).
UNDER-APPRECIATED – WELL-COMPOSED AERIAL SHOTS
This pull out aerial shot of L.W.O. versus el Legado del Fantasma, was absolutely phenomenal. It was a slow and confident zoom out, that both kept our eyes on the action, and showed us the impressive crowd numbers. Do the kids still say “Lit”? If so, insert clever joke here about L.W.O. standing for Lit World Order. Although, I guess they shouldn’t get credit for camera shots they’re in. Whatever. #Hollywood. God, I’m loving WWE’s bold cinematography these days. It’s almost like someone in the director’s chair just got LASIK and realized WWE crowds are actually super impressive. And no matter where a camera is pointed, you get shots that scream “sold out crowd”. Props to you, director person, and congrats on taking the optical leap into the future.
OVERRATED – SANTOS ESCOBAR’S OCCASIONAL ENEMY
Wade Barrett just said on commentary that Santos Escobar is in action tonight against, and I quote, “his sometime nemesis, Dragon Lee.” Well I’m sold. Thank you for that rousing hype, Wade. Nothing says must see like a casual irritation between frenemies.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – WWE2K24 CONTINUED CROSS SYNERGY
WWE just showed a graphic of the most played characters in WWE2K24. From top to bottom it’s Cody Rhodes, Roman Reigns, Jey Uso, Randy Orton, and then at the bottom of the five is captain identity crisis, Seth “Freaky” Rollins. It’s so simple, and moderately meaningless, but I find this incredibly effective in making me want to play the game more. It makes me realize I haven’t even gone full Yeet and played as Jey Uso, who made the list.. I guess that makes me Team No Yeet. Ugh…I don’t want to be on “Live Event” Jimmy Uso’s side. Excuse me while I take a quick Yeet break. Side note, this list is a terrible look for Seth. The number 2 champion in all of WWE is number 5 on the list? If that doesn’t tell you how stale and disconnected his character is, nothing will. I’m not saying he should turn heel again. Lord knows he’s flipped more than Rey Mysterio in a bounce house. But he needs to find his footing in some kind of extension of his real personality. This notion that Seth is some kind of eccentric fashion icon doesn’t work. That’s like putting a silly vest on The Rock and calling it stylish. Some things are just square pegs and round holes. Did I mention how uninVESTed I am in The Rock’s distracting looks?
UNDER-APPRECIATED – EL LEGADO DEL HAPPY
It’s a simple thing, but I love it when heel tag teams smile and beam with pride, when the tide of the match starts flowing their way. It’s just so cocky and effective. Seeing el Legado del Fantasma show their pride from ear to ear while kicking ass, pulled me into the match more. Special mention to that insane tag team move off of the top turnbuckle. That looked so dangerous that even Darby Allin probably cringed for a brief moment. Okay, maybe not, but it was still pretty impressive.
OVERRATED – DON’T TEASE ME WITH A WILDE TIME
This entire match of L.W.O. versus el Legado del Fantasma, they’ve been hyping how viral Joaquin Wilde’s offense is. Fortunately, near the end of the match, he must have found a Red Bull under the ring because his offense was fast, impressive and explosive. That said, they teased me with Wilde’s offense, my mind ran wild with aerial possibilities, and then they ripped it away when he didn’t qualify for the ladder match at WrestleMania. If you’re going to tease me with a Wilde time, at least deliver on that promise. I do have to give props to the cameraman who did an absolutely stunning steadicam shot from one partner begging for a tag, around the ring, to the opposition’s tag partner looking for a tag. That was picture (I love words) perfect.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – A CHANGE OF SCENERY
What a great idea to have Kayla Braxton interview L.A. Knight near the entrance ramp. It’s so easy to take for granted how fresh a change of scenery can make a segment feel. Whenever I see a new aesthetic like this, that isn’t commonly used, it sucks me into it as must see. Wildly effective. Keep up these fresh takes, WWE. Right now you have better shots than a top shelf bar on Taylor Swift’s private jet…which is mostly consumed by Travis Kelce. Am I the only one that dreams of a hilarious talking segment between Knight and Cody Rhodes? It would be an absurdly unending conversation, riddled with “Let me talk to you”, and “What do you wanna talk about?” banter. It could be like WWE’s version of the “Who’s on first?” gimmick. Special mention to Knight calling out A.J. Styles, and facing a sea of fans, creating tension that he might burst out from the crowd and attack. It made Knight look smarter than the average wrestler, and his words were punchy and epically over. “Humble me” really got me stoked for them to clash. Last point on this matter…Napoleon Styles is absolutely hilarious. See, Seth Rollins? Are you paying attention? You don’t need fecal matter to give an adversary a clever, insulting, and quasi-true nickname.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – L.A. KNIGHT GOES OLD SCHOOL
L.A. Knight’s promo was beautifully old school. This reminds me of the days of old when the likes of Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes cut promos challenging opponents right down the lens of the camera. What up ‘80s? I’ve missed you. We don’t always need to see explosive beat downs that lead into matches being made official. Less is more, and when you have a mic-smith like Knight talking, all you need is a camera pointed at him. This guy is so over. It’s really a shame that the main event scene is so top heavy right now. He would have been top tier 10 years ago. Can you imagine if he was around in the early 2000s? He’d be in a hotter seat than TikTok at a House Congressional hearing. Right now, unfortunately, I think he’s going to get lost in the shuffle. As soon as some stories are finished, WWE, let the man talk to ya. He has some things to say…and do. Yeah.
OVERRATED – A.J. STYLES BURNS A WELL-COOKED PROMO
Did we really need to see A.J. Styles attack L.A. Knight after such a stellar promo? The crowd was eating out of the palm of his hand. It was extremely strong, and didn’t need to be tainted by a cheap attack for some cheap heat. That was top shelf mic work, and you ruined it with a Dollar General run in. I also think they had a good thing going with this violent Where’s Waldo dynamic. I would have preferred to see them stay completely apart until WrestleMania, which would shake the bottle to explode once they come face to face. Missed opportunity, WWE…just like having A.J. work with Pretty Deadly and give people aggressive makeovers, creating a fear of getting A.J. Styled. Okay. Fine. I get it. That’s bad. But so is having a computer as a general manager, but they made that a thing. I’m taking my ball and going home now. You’ll miss me when I’m gone. On a side note, A.J. is looking like he’s in some of the best shape of his life. He has enough veins bulging from his body to fill half of The Final Boss’s head.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – MILK AND COOKIES COMMENTARY
Corey Graves and Wade Barrett are, by far, the best commentary duo in WWE right now, possibly in wrestling as a whole. They compliment each other like cheese and wine. Their ability to riff off of each other, deliver effective play-by-play, and slip in fun anecdotes that don’t steal the spotlight, is second to none. They do exactly what a commentary team should do. They keep us invested in the match, and never detract from the narrative. They enhance everything like milk to cookies. On a side note, their outfits tonight crack me up. They look like groomsmen in a wedding, but the tux place clearly mixed up Graves’ order, and he’s stuck looking like he pulled a suit out of his grandpa’s closet. Barrett on the other hand, looks like he’s trying to steal the hearts of a few bridesmaids. Ladies, I’m afraid he’s got some bad news…for you getting rest tonight.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – NICK’S SORRY EXCUSE FOR FINDING LOGAN AN OPPONENT
Good segment between Nick Aldis and Logan Paul. Logan continues to be such a natural, absurdly gifted fit for the wrestling business. He’s believable with his lines, plausible with his actions, and manages to get under everyone’s skin with the greatest of ease. The apology gimmick is a little tired, but it does feel organic to how Logan Paul would react in real life (and I think actually has…). Logan has done a great job making the title relevant and propped up. He literally brings it everywhere with him, and everywhere he goes, cameras follow, so every moment is positive press.
OVERRATED – A-TOWN CONTINUES DOWN
Poor Austin Theory. Aside from his first name, the guy doesn’t have much promise in the wrestling world right now. He’s been demoted to being Grayson Waller’s best friend, hype man, and occasional valet. At least valets get tips, Theory. So in THEORY (it’s a disease), if you’re not getting those match bonuses, you can count on gratuity to pay for all that baby oil, and the Crest white strips.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – WADE’S WORD OF THE DAY
The past few weeks, I’ve noticed Wade Barrett whips out one extremely big word. It’s jarring and hilarious, like he’s trying to work in his word of the day into every show. Every Friday from here on out, I’ll be shining a spotlight on said verbiage. Today’s word of the day is loquacious, which means to talk a great deal. Use it in a sentence? Sure. Grayson Waller’s loquacious ways aren’t enough to keep him interesting.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – KAYLA CREEPS OUT HEYMAN
Kayla Braxton popping out and scaring Paul Heyman cracked me up. That was unexpected and fun. I also love this gimmick of Heyman being jumpy and easily frightened. This could only be improved if she hilarious started with “Hey man! I mean, hey Mr. Heyman.” One can dream.
OVERRATED – JIMMY “CRAZY EYES” USO
If you look up trying too hard in the dictionary, if you could look up phrases in there, I’m confident you’d see a picture of Jimmy “Crazy Eyes” Uso. Being Jimmy must kind of suck right now. Jey Uso broke from their group like Justin Timberlake, and Jimmy is left as Lance Bass. Fortunately he can still tour with his other band mates like Heyman and Solo (who I hear has an amazing singing voice). I honestly feel like Jimmy is just flailing for relevance right now. He’s trying too hard. He needs to drink one less Prime energy drink, try blinking a little, and just calm down. Intensity doesn’t equal excitement, inherently. You have to build and earn that intensity. You can’t just flip a light switch on and off and call it a rave. You need design, precision and pacing. I worry that “Live Event” Jimmy Uso is doomed to stay exactly that. Sorry, “House Show” Uso. Also, why did Jimmy say “Yeet” at the end? I thought he was “No Yeet?” This whole time, they’ve built up this YEET versus NO YEET gimmick and then they throw it all away. They even made shirts! Think of the sales, Jimmy! What about the sales?! Personally, I’d love to see the discrepancy in profits between the two shirts. Also, Jimmy, please blink. It’s unhealthy for your eyes. Germs and bacteria can get in there and cause irritation and infection. Don’t yeet your eyes. Yeet infection is serious.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – RANDY THROWS HIS WEIGHT AROUND
First of all, I love the viper augmented reality graphic in Randy Orton’s entrance now. Whenever WWE adds this to someone’s entrance, it’s like a crown showing they see that person as a big deal. For example, Bianca BelAir has one, and J.D. McDonagh does not. I rest my case. Secondly, I enjoyed Randy pantomiming his weight (275lbs if you’re wondering) as it was announced. Way to throw your weight around, Randy (like I said, it’s a disease). It’s a simple gesture, but effective when you stop and think that someone as agile as Orton, is nearly 300 lbs of slithering muscle and tattoos. This is really starting to feel like we’re nearing Randy’s last ride. He seems like he’s soaking in every moment and you can’t help but feel the warm nostalgia he exudes at this stage in his career. Special mention of Orton keeping his eyes on Logan Paul the entire time he was pinning Grayson Waller, which is pure veteran storytelling at its finest.
OVERRATED – CAN WE KISS KISSES GOODBYE?
There were far too many kisses in this Randy Orton versus Grayson Waller match, and the aftermath. Okay, it was just two, Randy blowing a kiss to Logan Paul, and Paul kissing Randy’s forehead. Still though, that’s far too much affection for my wrestling taste. Also, it spreads germs, and we’re still living in a quasi-covid world, gentlemen. Please keep your lips to yourselves. I don’t care what the voices in your head, or KSI tell you.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – WALLER BECOMES COLLATERAL DAMAGE
Watching Kevin Owens book it to the ring and casually send Grayson Waller flying on the way, was such an on-brand move for Kevin Owens. This is one of the things I’ve always enjoyed most about Owens’ character, the unpredictability and D.G.A.F. attitude. Props to Waller for taking it like a champ and launching himself absurdly far, like The Rock taking a stunner back in the day. I enjoy the occasional oversell of offense.
OVERRATED – A-TOWN LAG
I get what Austin Theory, Randy Orton and Kevin Owens were going for with the stunner into an R.K.O. But, if you go back and watch it, it looks like A-Town’s WiFi has some serious lag. He takes the stunner, pauses a moment, smells the roses, hums a tune, then inexplicably launches himself into the air and into an R.K.O. It looks like he takes a stunner and then suffers from an insane episode of leg spasms moments later. Go back and watch it again. You’re welcome. A-Town, if you’re gonna go down, and plan on coming back up, please don’t take a vacation down there. It ruins what could have been a K.O. x R.K.O. moment. Do I smell a tag team inspired by nothing more than letters in common? Do yourself a favor and watch it a third time. He looks like a kid jumping into a pool on a hot summer day. I half expected him to yell “Yippee”.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – 3 STORIES IN ONE
Normally the announcement of a triple threat match (Kevin Owens, Randy Orton and Logan Paul) would elicit eye rolls from wrestling fans, especially during WrestleMania season when they’re trying to cram everyone into the card. That said, Logan Paul’s weasley overreaction just makes it work. There is now a story to be told between Randy Orton and Kevin Owens. There’s a story to be told between Randy and Logan. Hell, there’s even history and a story to be told between Owens and Paul. This is a rare instance where a triple threat makes perfect sense, and has the promise of multiple layers of great storytelling baked in. I’m here for it…as long as Logan Paul doesn’t have the same stunneR.K.O. lag that Austin Theory does. On a side note, Kevin Owens has pink shoes, which somehow work for him.
OVERRATED – LOGAN’S REACTION GOES A BEAT TOO LONG
I jinxed Logan Paul by praising his negative reaction to the triple threat announcement. If you go back and watch the segment again, at the very end, he awkwardly stands there, and as if someone gave him a cue to react again, he births a painfully unnatural, final “Oh no.” That should have ended a beat earlier. The first ¾ of his reaction is Oscar-worthy. The last ¼ is Razzie-worthy. Know when to quit while you’re ahead, LP. This is like watching one of the really bad Halloween sequels where Michael Myers comes back to life one too many times for it to be believable or effective anymore.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THE PROMOS TEAM STRIKES GOLD AGAIN
That was a great promo package hyping Damage CTRL’s feud with Bayley. I didn’t like the whole predictable swerve from Dakota Kai, but the promos team definitely made lemonade out of lemons here (as they usually do). They made the story seem far more interesting than it actually was. I’m jazzed about the main event now. I don’t want to be, but dammit, when that promos team throws some sugar on it, I gotta bite. Not that I’m promoting cannibalism, or overconsumption of sugar. Diabetes is a real problem. I’m just saying…oh hell…now I don’t know when to quit. They’re good. End of story.
OVERRATED – WHERE ARE MY DRAGON GFX?
Let me get this straight, WWE. You love adding augmented reality graphics to entrances, and you have a guy with the name Dragon Lee…and you don’t create a massive dragon?! For shame. How dare you deprive us of this mythical creature to promote a luchador. That’s like naming a movie villain Johnny Pyro that never uses fire.
OVERRATED – LEAP OF MUNDANE
Corey Graves just sang the praises of Dragon Lee’s leap to the outside of the ring (onto Santos Escobar) as “mind blowing”. That’s not mind blowing, Mr. Graves. Leaping over the ropes to an opponent on the outside is in almost every WWE match these days. Between that and suicide dives, I’d call anything involving a jump to the outside of the ring, completely mundane. WWE has spoiled us with moves like this, and now they just don’t feel special. It’s less mind-blowing and more mind-numbing, Corey. Repetition is the definition of insanity.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – REY MYSTERIO’S IMPATIENCE
I’m pleasantly surprised that Rey Mysterio challenged Santos Escobar to a match next Friday, instead of the obvious WrestleMania match. I’m curious where and how these two land on the WrestleMania card now. My guess is the match gets soiled by some shenanigans, and they end up having their match with a catchy stipulation. I for one, am happy that Rey Mysterio is impatient, because we still have a while before ‘Mania, and need some fun along the way.
OVERRATED – PRETTY BORING
I don’t like Pretty Deadly at all. They don’t stand out with their personas, movesets, or mic skills. The only thing that makes them noticeable right now is that they look like they’re cosplaying the love child of Jeff Hardy and Peter Pan, mixed with an affair with Batman villain, Poison Ivy. It’s just too much. They feel like the Dollar Store version of (the wildly more entertaining) Fashion Files duo of Fandango and Tyler Breeze.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – FINGERS
I don’t know what Pete Dunne has against fingers, but it sure is rewarding to watch him target digits. It’s almost like he’s mad that he has bad handwriting, and wants to bring everyone down to his illegible level. It seems small by comparison to other moves, but when you stop and think about it, it’s one of the body parts we’d be most afraid to get taken out. How would you finger paint after that, or eat wings, or draw Drew McIntyre on a sign that says “I Drew McIntyre”? Pete Dunne, the man with his finger on the pulse, and his hands on the fingers. P.S., I like to think he eats a lot of finger foods. In his youth, I heard he had a shoplifting problem because he believed in the five finger discount. I digress. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I think I have a problem. I just have an itchy trigger finger when it comes to puns. Don’t hurt me, Dunne. I for one am very happy Pete Dunne is in the ladder match at WrestleMania. After all, you need fingers to climb a ladder (I think).
OVERRATED – IYO WHY?
Iyo Skye is incredibly talented but she’s been playing so much second fiddle to Dakota Kai, that her fingers have to be sore by now. It’s almost like Pete Dunne got to her. I digress. It’s nice to see Iyo finally show some fire and alpha female chops ahead of WrestleMania. She needs to stay at the forefront of everything having to do with Damage CTRL, or she’s just going to feel like a weak villain for Bayley to conquer at WrestleMania.
I’ll be back with more finger-breaking, Iyo-burying, A-Town going down-Smackdown action next Friday. But fear not, I’ll be back on your feed on Monday for Raw, the show where Nia Jaxx and Becky Lynch will compete in a Last Woman Standing match. But the real question is, will someone quit before I fall asleep? See you Monday!
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