WWE MAIN EVENT TV REPORT (3/13): Alpha Academy vs. Indus Sher, Chelsea Green vs. Natalya, Road Dogg says he had a Desert Storm flashback mid-match

WWE MAIN EVENT TV REPORT
MARCH 13, 2024
HULU STREAMING TV
REPORT BY MIKE F. MEYERS, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR

Announcers: Blake Howard, Brian “Road Dogg” James

(1) ALPHA ACADEMY (Akira Tozawa & Otis) vs. INDUS SHER (Veer & Sanga w/ Jinder Mahal)

Indus Sher entered and charged across the ring and began a beat-down of Alpha Academy. The ref approached the melee, looking irritated, yet called for the bell anyway in the midst of the attack. Sanga fired Otis through the ropes and into the ring post, causing him to topple out to ringside. Veer waved Sanga off, leaving Tozawa in the ring.

Veer knocked Tozawa down with a shoulder block, then pointed down at him while yelling at the crowd. He dropped a jumping elbow drop, then applied a claw to Tozawa’s shoulder. Tozawa fired some elbows, but Veer scooped and slammed him to the mat. Veer went back to the claw. Sanga tagged in and kicked an exposed Tozawa in the ribs. He tossed Tozawa across the ring toward a neutral corner, then ran in and splashed him against the turnbuckles. He lifted Tozawa to his feet and took him back down with an underhook uranage. Veer suspended Tozawa horizontally from the top rope, allowing Sanga to hit a running front kick to Tozawa’s head. Indus Sher posed at the camera with Tozawa lying at their feet.

Otis recovered and appeared in Alpha Academy’s corner. Sanga approached him with a forearm strike, but Otis blocked. Meanwhile, Tozawa returned to his feet and hit Sanga with a crescent kick, then made a hot tag to Otis. Otis ran the ropes, did a somersault, and knocked Sanga to the mat with a shoulder block. He hit Sanga with a reverse elbow and a clothesline, again taking him to the mat. Otis and Sanga had simultaneous stalemate clotheslines while Tozawa scaled the corner. He made a sneaky blind tag and hit Sanga with a missile drop kick, then Sanga and Otis exchanged blows. Veer appeared to double team Otis until Tozawa jumped on his back. Otis and Sanga began brawling on the floor at ringside. Tozawa nailed Veer with a spinning kick. Tozawa jumped at Veer from the top rope, but Veer caught him. Tozawa slipped down to the mat and tried to roll up Veer, but Veer wasn’t budging. Otis entered the ring and clotheslined Veer to the mat, allowing Tozawa to get on top for a cover and three-count.

WINNER: Alpha Academy by pinfall in 5:00.

(Meyers’s Analysis: A frantic five-minute match. The ending was confusing because I didn’t even notice Tozawa’s tag on first watch – once Tozawa covered for the victory, I had to rewind to see when and if he became the legal man.)

(2) CHELSEA GREEN vs. NATALYA

The women locked up and Green used Natalya’s hair to pull her against the ropes. She took Natalya down with a side headlock. Natalya fired her off the ropes, but Green knocked her down with a shoulder block on the rebound. Green did a bit of gloating, allowing Natalya to take her down. Natalya quickly got to her feet with the upper hand and posed at Green. Green controlled Natalya with a wrist lock, then drove her knee repeatedly into Natalya’s left shoulder. She fired Natalya into a corner, but Natalya came back and bounced Green off the top rope and down to the mat. She kicked the seated Green in her back, then hit a low drop kick. Natalya covered for one. Green rolled out to ringside to regroup as we cut to break.

Back in the ring, Green lured in the foolish babyface and yanked her into the turnbuckle. She covered Natalya for two. She choked Natalya against the middle rope, then held her palms up to the crowd. Green applied a chinlock. Natalya stood up and fired some elbows, but Green yanked her back to the mat. Natalya rolled up Green for two, then Green came back with a clothesline. She bounced Natalya’s face off the mat, then applied an abdominal stretch. Natalya reversed the hold, then Green reversed it back. Natalya used a hip toss to break free, then suplexed Green to the canvas. Natalya ducked a clothesline, then took Green down with a discus lariat. She covered Green for two.

Natalya started to set up the sharpshooter, but Green kicked her away. The women traded quick roll-up covers. Green rammed Natalya in the corner, then began a series of downward punches. Natalya carried her away from the corner and dropped Green with a sit-out powerbomb. She covered Green for two. Natalya applied the sharpshooter, but Green clawed her way to the bottom rope for the break. Natalya did a baseball slide under the bottom rope, knocking Green toward the announce table. Natalya went out to the floor and advised Green that she could “kiss my ass.” She rolled Green back into the ring, but Green kicked Natalya as she climbed in behind her. Green hit an unprettier and covered Natalya for the three-count.

WINNER: Chelsea Green by pinfall in 8:20.

(Meyers’s Analysis: Decent match, but Natalya really played up the “stupid babyface” bit, including leaving herself completely exposed to her opponent for the match finish. Earlier on, Road Dogg said that he missed the last 30 seconds due to having a Desert Storm flashback, then said he didn’t want to talk about it. This came out of nowhere and was very strange.)

SHOW SCORE (0-10): 8.0

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