SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
Well folks, it’s that magical time of week when we embark on our journey into WWE, where we know just as much about where the story is going as they do. Let’s get into the “Over and Unders” for the Feb. 12 edition of what used to be Monday Night Rollins.
OVERRATED – CODY “BUSBOY” RHODES
Cody Rhodes wants to finish his story… in case you didn’t know. Now, maybe it’s just me, but that bus he got off of sure seems like he finished the story, sold the book, and is dining on residuals. That’s what I want to talk about, Cody. You’re the workhorse. You’re our golden boy right now. Keep it scrappy. We know you’re flying private and riding on luxury buses, but we don’t need to see any of that. I want the illusion that you have your sleeves rolled up and you’re hitchhiking to Raw, and asking strangers what THEY want to talk about along the way.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – ECHOES OF BIG E LANGSTON
Man, I love hearing Big E’s voice in The New Day’s entrance. He just has so much energy and charisma. I miss him. I wish he’d come back in some sort of manager role. He’s too good not to have on TV, even while injured. Big E is so good that even a prerecorded intro before a song drums up joyous memories that feel like Christmas morning at eight years old. Honorable mention for The New Day’s video game graphic. That looks like a fun game… that I’d like to play. *thwip* A copyright infringement dart just hit me in the throat. Sorry Tripl… zzzzzz
OVERRATED – TINY REF SHIRTS
It took me a full 22.4 seconds to focus on The New Day vs. Imperium. Why? I was incredibly distracted by the ref’s shirt, which was so small, it honestly looked like he’s going to need to be cut out of it. Seriously, somewhere there is a group of children that wants to work at a Foot Locker (just go with it), but can’t, because this guy took all the extra extra small shirts. Child labor laws aside, I feel bad for those poor kids and the baggy shirts they now have to wear while selling shoes… right here… IN LEXINGTON, KENTUCKY!
UNDER-APPRECIATED – “SIMPLE GESTURE” JEY USO
I have to wonder if Gunther’s brutal takedown of Jey’s entrance as “simple gestures for simple people” last week got to the crowd. They cut away to multiple wide shots, looking for that Daniel Bryan-esq participation, and ended up with little more than a few hands. Strong “Yeet” participation aside, that was kind of sad. I felt like I was geared up to watch a massive fireworks display and only got a flicker and some smoke. What’s the moral of this story? We love yelling silly words, but don’t ask us for rigorous physical participation. This is America afterall, where even our WrestleMania comes in XL.
OVERRATED – KOFI KINGSTON’S NIPPLE PREP
Why on Earth did Kofi Kingson caress or lock-and-load his nipples before the match? Who does that? Who? WHO?! Seriously what was that, Kofi? Is this foreshadowing for a new finisher featuring said nipples? Is it kind of like Roman Reigns’s arm-cocking, but double the fun? I could be derailing my own train of thought here, but I hope this is the case and they have an amazing nipple-driven finisher planned. Maybe we call it the “Nipple Ripple.” Or how about, “The Nip Slip.” The possibilities are endless when The… NEW… DAY ROCKS with new gimmicks.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – WELCOME TO SLAP CITY
Man, Kofi Kingston had more chops than a slaughterhouse tonight. If they didn’t have beef before, they certainly will now. I normally don’t love a slap fest, but that was just fun. Slap it up, Kofi. Slap it up.
OVERRATED – THE IMPERIUM HAS NO CLOTHES
Is it just me, or does anyone else feel the need to yell “The emperor has no clothes!” when looking at Ludwig Kaiser? I get that he has zero percent body fat, but he also has near 0 percent clothes. It’s like his trunks are from the swim team when he was 10-years old. Look ma, they still fit! I’m not jealous. I swear. I’m just saying it’s not fair, and I wish I had the same physique. That’s not jealousy. Right? RIGHT?!
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THE LUDWIG KAISER KICK
Excuse me? Where did that intensity with Ludwig Kaiser come from with that kick? It’s like he just found out his favorite body hair removal cream is discontinued and took it out on Kofi Kingston. Seriously, that kick looked brutal enough to knock the Jamaican back into him.
OVERRATED – GUNTHER’S IN-AND-OUT
I was about to give a thumbs up to Gunther’s tag in. Afterall, most heels wouldn’t openly tag into a match to face their current rival. We have to save that for the Premium Live Event. But Gunther is so arrogant and confident that he tagged right in. He is just on another level of presence. The calm demeanor in which he tagged in was like watching Michael Myers pick up a butcher knife. You know he’s driving a pain train. But, then he tagged right back out and fell back into a generic heel trope. This felt like they have a new writer on staff who is less a wrestling fan and more of a failed screenwriter, trying to get his or her stuff in. Little do they realize, this is a generic heel move we see all the time. Simple swerves for simple people I suppose.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – GUNTHER’S “ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED” MOMENT
Gunther gloating to the crowd with outstretched arms, in a Gladiator-esq “Are you not entertained?” moment was absolutely glorious. He was born to do this. When his mother found out she was pregnant, the test didn’t show a plus or minus. It simply said “Heel”.
OVERRATED – GUNTHER’S MISSING ACCESSORIES
Okay, maybe it’s just me but I feel like Gunther should be rocking some elbow and knee pads. I’m concerned for his joints first and foremost, but also, he kind of looks like an action figure that I lost the accessories for. Not that I traumatized myself as a child with a mix of my clinically diagnosed O.C.D., and a penchant for losing things. Toxic combo I know. Sigh. I’ll find John Cena’s hat, Leonardo’s swords, and Cobra Commander’s blaster one of these days.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THE NEW DAY TAG-A-THON
That was a blast to watch. It’s refreshing to see a tag team strategically chain together multiple tags, leading up to a stellar double team move. I felt like I was watching a Rube Goldberg device with wrestlers. Side note: This would be a much better joke if Bill Goldberg was a part of the Rube Goldberg chain of moves. It may not be as delicious as pancakes or Booty O’s, but it’s some food for thought.
OVERRATED – JEY USO JOINS THE SLAP PARTY
That was a massive slap from Jey Uso. It would be impressive if we weren’t still riding the shock of The Rock slapping Cody Rhodes. I’m not sure we needed another big Samoan slap so close to the last one, but man oh man he looked like he wanted to turn Gunther into Two-Face.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – MISSING CAMERAMEN
I have to give kudos to the WWE cameramen, who are quite literally the human embodiment of Where’s Waldo? They capture these amazingly close shots, and when we cut to a wide shot, they’ve strategically vanished from the frame. These guys probably owned the playground at Hide and Seek.
OVERRATED – JEY USO’S SPIT
Jey Uso. We love you. We do. But… ew. Did you really need to spit in your hand for maximum effect? We just had a global pandemic that boosted Purell sales to historic levels. I don’t think we need you spreading your body “Yeet” to other people just because it looks cool. No “Yeet.” Or, can we at least get sanitized “Yeet”? The only added impact of doing this before hitting someone is spreading germs that could get them sick… oh… okay now I get it. It’s a little clinical for my taste, but kudos to you for being an outside-the-box thinker.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – WHERE ART THOU, NEW DAY & IMPERIUM?
Wait. Where did Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston and the rest of Imperium go? Aren’t Gunther and Jey Uso worried about the whereabouts and well-being of their friends? They have completely vanished from the match, and the arena. Send a search party. Call some spouses. Check Instagram. This is very selfish of these two to fight at a time like this.
OVERRATED – GUNTHER TRIES TO FLY
Gunther jumping off the top rope is just ugly. He looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger losing his balance and falling out of a tree house. He reminded me of those ’90s WWE action figures whose arms and legs didn’t fully bend. How can we do all the moves if we can’t bend them at the knees and elbows, WWE? How?!
UNDER-APPRECIATED – JEY USO’S SPACIAL AWARENESS
Spatial awareness is important to have. Jey Uso seemingly forgot about that tonight. He completely missed the 1D, making it, at best, a 0.5 lower case d.
OVERRATED – JEY USO’S FAILED SIMPLE GESTURE
Jey Uso tried to initiate his “Simple gesture” (only because I don’t know what to call that) after the match. He gave one quick try and backed off, presumably because the crowd didn’t reciprocate. Side note, maybe we call it The Jey Sway? Jey, you better credit me if you use that. Don’t hog all the “Yeet” for yourself.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – PAT MCAFEE’S NINJA PENCIL SKILLS
Pat McAfee’s pencil-catching skills are top notch. That was pointless but extremely amusing. I’m not sure why I liked it, but that NUMBER 2 is over in my book. I’m just DRAWN to it. PENCIL me in as a fan. Okay, I’ll stop now. ERASE what I previously said. Next time I’ll bring SHARPER jokes. Sorry. I have a LEAD foot when it comes to driving puns. I’m hopeless.
OVERRATED – ANDRADE’S LANGUAGE BARRIER
Why are we making Andrade speak English when Shinsuke Nakamura proved you can effectively use subtitles? It did wonders for the King of Strong Style. Andrade is such a special talent in the ring that it’s a shame to see them trying to work him into a mold he won’t shine in. At the very least, we could get him back together with Zelina Vega, who was the best manager on the mic since Paul Heyman. All that said, I did dig the Desperado-Esq vibe of this.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – BRONSON REED’S GODZILLA GIMMICK
I love this entrance video for “Big” Bronson Reed. Godzilla is hot right now with Godzilla Minus One so this makes a ton of sense, both as a pop culture reference and for a man of his physique. Honorable mention to the fact that Bronson makes Bobby Lashley look like a rookie when he’s face to face with him. He’s just enormous and has shades of Bam Bam Bigelow.
OVERRATED – CEILING TV
Why do they keep coming out of commercial breaks with closeups of the TV on the ceiling? What are they trying to accomplish here? Come see WWE live, and you too can watch TV on a ceiling! Unless I’m Spider-Man, Jared Leto, or that dude from “Free Solo,” I just don’t care. Last I checked, I’m not any of those individuals and I have a bad neck from staring down at my phone too much.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – BOBBY LASHLEY’S BUMPS
Bobby Lashley with the bumps! Between the ringpost spot, and going into the crowd, if Bobby goes bump in this night anymore, I’m calling “Monsters Inc.” to get him a job.
OVERRATED – BRONSON “OVERWORKING” REED
Bronson Reed is incredibly agile but I personally think he needs to slow down and work more like a big man. Less is more. By the end of every match he’s completely blown up and it makes for a weak finish. He needs to pace himself so his explosive moments always feel intense. Also, while impressive, he should have saved the moonsault for a Premium Live Event spot.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SMART BOOKING FOR THE CHAMBER
I, along with the Perth crowd, would have loved to see Bronson Reed in the Elimination Chamber. But, that is an incredibly long, often grueling match. I think that’s beyond his endurance level at the moment. Plus, Bobby Lashley is a pro, a former champ, and I like having several viable options for winners.
OVERRATED – RECAPPING THE B.S. MATCH
Do we really need to recap the nonsensical B.S. match? That stands for bull strap by the way. I’m absolutely, positively NOT implying anything else there. That match was so random and… oh… Sami Zayn’s involvement. Now I get why we’re revisiting this. I honestly completely forgot Sami even got involved in the match so this was probably the right choice to remind us why the Drew McIntyre vs. Sami Zayn match is happening.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – STORYTIME WITH SAMI ZAYN
I love these sit-down, Sami Zayn chats. He really shines here. He is such a natural actor. I think once Cody Rhodes wins his title and the luster wears off a bit, fans may rally behind Sami again. Maybe he can pull out a Daniel Bryan-level movement. Is it possible? YES! See what I did there?
OVERRATED – THE COLOR RED
Shinsuke Nakamuira is so good in these “I know about your back” type promos. But what’s with the red light flooding the whole scene? I feel like I’m watching the entire promo through a Nintendo Virtual Boy. If you don’t get the reference, Google it. Yeah, that was a real thing, and I’m definitely NOT still bitter that my parents never got me one. I’m just saying that if they had, maybe I’d be a president or some Silicon Valley billionaire. Red aside, man that thing was cool back in the day.
OVERRATED – WRESTLEMANIA SIZE MATTERS
WrestleMania XL? Seriously, WWE? This is the most ridiculous you’ve sounded since The Greatest Royal Rumble at Crown Jewel. What’s that? Oh. XL is 40 in Roman Numerals. That’s actually a pretty clever double entendre. Well, now I just feel stupid… twice. Thanks, WWE. I’m going to feel dumb THEN, NOW, and FOREVER, but I’m taking you with me because we’re TOGETHER.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SETH ROLLINS
I feel horrible for Seth Rollins. This poor guy was made to look like a dollar bill in a vault of gold bars. Seeing this overplayed promo with The Rock, Roman Reigns, Cody Rhodes, and Seth Rollins just makes me sad. I feel like we’ll see a tag match in Perth, but I still can’t stop feeling bad for Seth, here. He’s been moved to the kiddie table, thrown under a bus, dragged through the mud, and body slammed into irrelevance, only to tell him it’s good for his back.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – PAT MCAFEE’S SLIP OF THE TONGUE
Michael Cole said “WrestleMania is going to take things to a whole new level.” Pat McAfee replied, subtly “And then what?” Exactly! What’s the long term plan here now that we’ve reconfigured to keep Cody Rhodes center stage? They better have something in the works or Cody is going to cool off fast, with or without the title.
OVERRATED – CODY RHODES’S ENTRANCE LINE
Okay, I know they didn’t show Cody Rhodes’s bus before his entrance, but for some reason I keep imagining them replacing “Wrestling has more than one royal family” with “Wrestling has more than one luxury bus.” I love Cody. I’m wearing an American Nightmare hat right now, but I can’t get over the tone deaf-nature of showing the workhorse getting off an expensive personal bus.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – CHICKEN NUGGETS
Listen Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, I get that you’re in a bad mood. But chicken nuggets didn’t do anything to anyone. All they did was come in a pack of ten, with two of our favorite sauces and convenient packaging to store said condiments. The same goes for you, Cody Rhodes. Your story is great, but don’t take away my chicken nuggies, especially if they’re shaped like dinosaurs, which scientifically makes them taste better. Honorary mention of the label “Cody Crybabies.” I like that Cody is leaning into this a bit. It’s completely marketable and he can turn it into a positive.
OVERRATED – SETH “CAN I COME TOO?” ROLLINS
Seth Rollins just had to interject himself into the main event discussion…again. Seth, you barely survived the first trip on the Titanic of WrestleMania involvement. Don’t tempt fate in steerage again. Move on and rebuild.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SETH ROLLINS’ STYLE
Once again, Seth Rollins crushes with a great new look. Tonight he literally looks like Kraven the Hunter if he went to an upper class private school. I’m here for it. It’s unexpected, just questionable enough, and downright cool. Honorable mention to Seth cleverly quoting Maui from Moana with “What can I say except…you’re welcome,” invoking The Rock. Honestly, I loved that reference so much that “Kid, honestly I could go on and on.”
UNDER-APPRECIATED – LIV MORGAN’S HURRICANRANA
Liv Morgan’s Hurricanrana on Tiffany Stratton was amazingly fast, tight and well executed. Seriously go back and rewatch it. She flipped faster than WWE at a press conference.
OVERRATED – EVERYONE IN THE FRONT ROW
Everyone in the front row tonight looks bored out of their minds. I haven’t seen an audience this lifeless since Tom Green did a talk show in front of cardboard cutouts.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – RHEA RIPLEY’S RAGE
Rhea Ripley’s rage-fueled entrance tonight was pure spectacle. She legitimately looked like she was ready to rip someone’s head off. She is on another level right now. With the exception of Cody Rhodes, I don’t think there is anyone else in the WWE that knows and embodies their character as well as she does. Honorable mention to Rhea’s “You’re gonna have to kill me” line. I love that. I don’t want anyone to die or get convicted of a felony or anything. I just like the sentiment. It’s bold, edgy but still PG, and fits her character well.
OVERRATED – J.D. MCDONAUGH IN ANYTHING
I find J.D. McDonaugh overrated in virtually everything he’s involved in. I so badly want him to get booted from The Judgement Day. He’s the weak link and his weasley demeanor drags them down. I keep imagining him in a conference room getting called “An angry elf” by Will Ferrell. He’s a talented wrestler but trying to play a heavy in an established faction doesn’t do it for him.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – A PACK OF BULLIES BY THE RING
The Judgment Day hanging out by the ring like a pack of bullies in a back alley was a timeless image that always works. I’m still holding out hope that they’ll turn on J.D. McDonaugh in favor of R-Truth, but some dreams aren’t meant to be fulfilled.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – SETH ROLLINS VERSUS MAUI
Becky Lynch saying she’s had to explain to her daughter why “Daddy wants to fight Maui” was a great callback to Seth Rollin’s promo earlier. That’s the second Moana reference in one night! I love it. Also does this hint at The Rock versus Seth at mania?
OVERRATED – BECKY “TOO SAD” LYNCH
I think Becky Lynch is amazing on the mic but doing the old “I missed family things” promo is tired, even if it’s true. I think it’s a bit beneath what she’s capable of and she could have framed it differently. That said, Becky’s Wolverine-esq jacket is fantastic.
OVERRATED – NIA JAX’S SALMON JACKET MOMENT
Nia Jax was really going for that legendary Mark Henry, salmon jacket-adorned heel swerve with Becky. Unfortunately, I saw her true colors from a mile away. She’s just not a great actress. I do like that Becky didn’t seem to buy it.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – THANKS FOR THE SPOILER, NIA JAX
Hold the phones! Nia Jax just said she’s going to beat Rhea Ripley and then it’s going to be Becky Lynch versus her at WrestleMania. We all know Becky is going to win the chamber but did Nia just spill the beans? It sure sounds like it. Nia Jax, breaking faces and breaking news since 2015.
OVERRATED – TALL WRESTLERS NEXT TO SHORTER INTERVIEWERS
Drew McIntyre next to Jackie Redmond is wildly jarring. It always takes me a minute or two to get into the moment with what they’re saying. Fortunately, Drew is on fire right now and pulled me in pretty fast. Plus, Jackie is such a natural at this. I think the Sami Zayn sit-down interviews work so well because they’re simple, even keel, and there are no distracting elements to take us out of it.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – DREW “VIOLENT JESUS” MCINTYRE
I absolutely loved Drew McIntyre’s previous line to C.M. Punk about having prayed for his injury. Him telling Cody Rhodes he should avoid being in his prayers is a great callback and continuation of his violent Jesus persona. Violent Jesus versus Crossfit Jesus seems to be in the cards for WrestleMania.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – R-TRUTH’S IDENTITY CRISIS
I may be alone on this, but I love the gimmick of R-Truth mixing up who wrestlers are. We love nostalgia and this is a great way to comically bring up legends and their sayings. Truth totally got me by saying “D” then “X” came to his rescue (instead of D.I.Y.). His comedic timing is unparalleled. Can we also appreciate that this guy is 52-years old and in better ring shape than most wrestlers? Maybe being crazy is the key to staying young.
OVERRATED – JOHNNY WRESTLING NOT JOHNNY COMEDY
I’m a big Johnny Gargano fan, but I just don’t find him funny. Everything he does feels like he’s trying too hard. The line he dropped, “I am a sexy boy” is pretty low hanging fruit. I would have had Tommaso Ciampa say something like, “You wanna grab the car and I’ll get some coffees?” Then, I would have Gargano look annoyed and say “I’m not your boy toy…” and walk away. This way you’re hitting the same joke but treating your audience as a bit smarter. The joke will be more rewarding because it’ll feel like an inside joke but we’ll all get it. We want to feel special, Johnny. We want to be able to pat ourselves on the ba…nevermind.
UNDER-APPRECIATED YET OVERRATED
I love Ivar’s Viking ship with the sea augmented graphic. That’s different and cool. But, again with the red? Don’t they know that red is the single most irritating color to the human eye? I feel like I’m watching Monday Night Raw, as I mentioned before, through a Nintendo Virtual Boy. Stop with the red, for the sake of my fragile, allergy-plagued eyes. Also it still hurts that I never got one in the ‘90s.
OVERRATED – IVAR’S PETER PAN COSPLAY
Okay the Ivar entrance is cool and all, but once the lights come on and he’s just in his ring gear, he looks like he’s cosplaying Peter Pan. What’s the goal of this look? Grown up Lost Boy? Castaway on an island with a lot of meat? Shrek chic?!
UNDER-APPRECIATED – PAT MCAFEE’S FANDOM
As cheesy as his antics are, something about Pat McAfee pantomiming Ivar getting slammed into the announcer desk is contagiously entertaining. He looks like a fan who won a contest to call a live WWE match, and is just enjoying every moment of it. I’m here for it. It reminds me of Damien Sandow’s stunt double antics while The Miz wrestled. Whatever happened to that guy? His gimmick was so over.
OVERRATED – NOT CAPITALIZING ON THE VIKING GIMMICK
If we’re going to lean into the Viking gimmick, let’s go full bore. Why not have Ivar and Valhalla go on a raid through the crowd, collecting valuables? I’d pop for an old school Viking assimilating into modern society.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – CHELSEA GREEN’S CONFIDENCE
Chelsea Green asking if she’s in The Elimination Chamber match and giving Adam Pearce “Yes or Yes?” as options cracked me up. She has her character down. She’s like a modern day version of Clueless meets Mean Girls and leans into every bit of it. Even Samantha Irvine bought into it with a special pronunciation of her name for ring entrances.
OVERRATED – COUNTING ON THE CROWD FOR VISUAL REACTIONS
The”Let’s go” during Sami Zayn’s entrance was loud but when they cut to a wide shot and you couldn’t see anyone doing it, that hurt the moment. It’s like the “Wow” that never was, during Cody Rhodes’ entrance last week. WWE keeps gambling on crowd shots and it’s going to turn around and bite them more often than not if they can’t be more strategic.
UNDER-APPRECIATED – MAKING A MOCKERY
During the Sami Zayn versus Shinsuke Nakamura match, I loved seeing them mock each other’s taunts. It’s a little old school but not done that often these days, so it feels fresher than a chicken nugget. Sorry I still can’t let this go. What did chicken nuggies ever do to The Rock?! I’m hungry now.
I’ll be back later this week with more OVER AND UNDERS for Friday Night Smackdown.
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