IMPACT WRESTLING TV RESULTS (11/30): Lilly’s report on IPWF Throwback Throwdown

IMPACT WRESTLING TV REPORT
NOVEMBER 30, 2023
TORONTO, ON AT DON KOLOV ARENA
AIRED ON AXS TV
REPORT BY DARRIN LILLY, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR

(Note: Tonight’s episode was an “Impact Provincial Wrestling Federation” show, where current Impact Wrestling stars perform as wrestling characters from the 80’s.)

Commentators: “Giuseppe Scovelli Jr.” and “Ignatius Quigley”

(Note: Tonight’s episode was an “Impact Provincial Wrestling Federation” show, where current Impact Wrestling stars perform as wrestling characters from the 80’s.)

-Giuseppe Scovelli Jr. (Josh Matthews) and “Professor” Ignatius Quigley (Alex Shelley) introduced the show from the desk, which looked like a throwback to 80’s regional wrestling.

(1) KAMIKAZI (presumably “Speedball” Mike Bailey) vs. RAPID DELIVERY PETE (Rich Swann)

Kamikazi was a masked wrestler in a karate outfit. Pete carried pizza boxes and handed out slices to the crowd. Fans chanted “We want pizza.” Kamikazi was the heel, which he established early by attacking Swann from behind. Kamikazi used over the top karate mannerisms. Kamikazi was on offense for most of the match, including an abdominal stretch, chops, and a nerve hold. To the crowd’s credit, they chanted “pizza” as Pete made his comeback. Pete won with a splash.

WINNER: Rapid Delivery Pete in 8:00.

-Giuseppe Scovelli Sr. (Scott D’Amore) cut a spirited promo about a tournament. Boris Alexiev (Santino Marella) and his manager (Jon E. Bravo) did a promo as well. [c]

-George “The Iceman” brought out DJ 2 Large (Moose), who led the crowd in waving their hands. 2 Large wore a Puma sweatsuit and a giant gold chain, in addition to a title belt (the International Commonwealth TV Title). He talked about coming back and being fly. He told challengers to step up. The $361,000 Man (R.D. Evans) came out to challenge him. His catchphrase was “everyone has a dollar amount.” He offered 2 Large $10,000 for his title. 2 Large did a brief rap and said no. The Man said if he can’t buy the belt, then he would take it with the help from the Masked Brother. A masked wrestler attacked 2 Large. Referees broke it up. 2 Large challenged him to a match later.

-Neptune (Shera) and his manager (Dave Penzer) cut a promo and said they would challenge Frank The Butcher tonight. Frank and Giuseppe Sr. followed with a promo. [c]

-Red Letter (Jody Threat) talked about her win over Lady Bird Johnson (Jessicka). Letter was a mail carrier. Rapid Delivery Pete interrupted and was upset that she wanted to call herself Rapid Delivery.

(2) NEPTUNE (Shera w/Walter Chestnut/Dave Penzer) vs. FRANK THE BUTCHER (Rhino w/Frank Giuseppe Sr./Scott D’Amore)

Neptune was a spoof of Aquaman. Fans were solidly behind Frank and chanted “Chop!” There was stalling at the start but the action quickly spilled to the floor. Frank scored a quick victory after a clothesline.

WINNER: Frank The Butcher in 4:00.

Due to stipulations, Giuseppe made Walter sweep the ring and become a janitor. Or something.

-Music video of The Hard Workers (Deaner and Jake Something), which was a spoof on the Fabulous Ones videos from the Memphis days. [c]

(3) THE SUNDAY MORNING EXPRESS (Chris Sabin & Jack Price) vs. THE HARD WORKERS (Deaner & Jake Something)

The Editor (Sabin) cut an angry promo before the match talking about his family’s lineage in the paper business. The Hard Workers did a male dancer gimmick. The Express had the upper hand for most of the match, but the Workers made a comeback. The Editor pinned Harry (Jake) after interference from the Paper Boy.

WINNERS: The Sunday Morning Express.

-Rip Rayzor (Ace Austin) and Rusty Iron (Gia Miller) mocked Tommy Dreamer (playing a young version of himself) for not smoking. [c]

-Dreamer bragged to Red Letter about crapping into a bag. It was supposed to be Rip’s bag but it belonged to Brian Myers. Myers opened it and threw up on Sheldon Jean.

(4) RIP RAYZOR (Ace Austin) & RUSTY IRON (Gia Miller) vs. “COWBOY” COLT MCCOY (Eddie Edwards) & “ROUGH RIDER” GEORGIA COBB (Jordynne Grace)

Rip and Rusty did a punk rock gimmick. Gia did actually take part in the in-ring action. She wasn’t asked to do much, but what she did was fine. Iron gave McCoy a low blow to turn the tide of the match. [c]

Iron stomped McCoy. Rayzor wrestled with a cigarette in his mouth. Cobb made the comeback for her team. Rayzor pulled a knife on the referee but got thrown out by McCoy. Cobb pinned Iron for the win.

WINNERS: Colt McCoy and Georgia Cobb in 12:00.

-The Masked Brother did a promo. He had on a Ribera jacket. He claimed to be the only man to call out Bruiser Brody for cheating at cards.

-Promo for the Dishonorable Discharge VHS tape for $39.99. [c]

-Clip from “last week” of Quincy Cosmo becoming the new number one contender.

(5) DJ 2LARGE (c) (Moose) vs. THE MASKED BROTHER (w/ The $369,00 Man) — International Commonwealth TV Title match

The referee pulled weapons out of Brothers’ tights. They went for a test of strength that turned into dancing. Moose brought in the $369,00 Man but threw him out. The referee ejected him from ringside. [c]

2Large went for a pin, but the referee was down. A second referee counted to two. Chestnut and Neptune came to ringside to sweep. Two henchmen dressed in black ran in the ring, but 2Large got rid of them. Brother decked Moose with a weapon and got the pin. [c]

WINNER: The Masked Brother in 11:00.

-Tim Burr (Josh Alexander) came out for an interview. He vowed to win his match and said his opponent would be the one laying down for a slumber.

(6) TIM BURR (Josh Alexander) vs. BORIS ALEXIEV (Santino Marella) (w/Colonel Corn/Jon E. Bravo)

This was allegedly the finals of a tournament. Fans chanted “Walking Lumber.” Boris apparently killed “Muscles McGee” in Round Two of the tournament (Brian Cage played “Muscles McGee” in a prior edition of IPWF). Tim Burr is a lumberjack and Boris played an 80’s Russian character. The match setup was a play on Rocky IV. Burr pulled the suspenders down before his comeback. Boris put Burr in a crossface, but Burr reached the ropes to break the hold. Boris accidentally put the claw on Corn and he couldn’t let go once it was clamped on. Burr hit Boris with an ax handle off the ropes and got the pin.

WINNER: Tim Burr in 7:00.

The locker room came out to congratulate Burr.

FINAL THOUGHTS: If you didn’t see this, I’m jealous.

Darrin Lilly is a Pro Wrestling Torch contributor who writes the weekly Impact Wrestling TV results and co-hosts the Impact Wrestling podcast for the site with John Laslo. You can find him on Instagram and Threads at dklstl or on You Tube at Darrin’s Wrestling World, including a video recapping his attendance at a recent WWE Smackdown taping.