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AEW COLLISION – HITS & MISSES
OCTOBER 28, 2023
UNCASVILLE, CONN.
AIRED LIVE ON TNT
BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Commentators: Nigel McGuiness & Kevin Kelly & Jim Ross
– Hey! Welcome to my AEW Collision Hits & Misses column, which is the most-read column you are currently reading. I am thrilled to be covering a very special episode of AEW Collision in which AEW played one of the biggest cards they have left in their arsenal by hotshotting, on free TV, a very rare, highly-anticipated Abadon appearance.
JAY WHITE VS. A.R. FOX — HIT
This show got off to a great start with Jay White facing off against A.R. Fox, who has apparently been “forthright” with AEW officials about his ability to work inside the Mohegan Sun Arena.
To be honest, this match wasn’t on my radar before I watched it take place. Between Dax Harwood vs. Ricky Starks, the first ever MJF vs. Kenny Omega match, and most importantly, an Abadon appearance, I didn’t even notice this match had been included in PWTorch’s AEW Collision Preview. However, I was wrong to underestimate this match. This match was phenomenal, and despite lasting only 10 minutes, it would not have been out of place on a PPV.
MJF TRIES TO STEAL BACK HIS TITLE BELT — MINOR-MISS
You know, in a way, I am reticent to say I disliked this post-match angle because I would love for this whole “belt-theft debacle” to come to an end, but I would also love to not witness AEW’s World Heavyweight Champion dress up in all back in an attempt to steal back the company’s belt. I dare you to put this storyline into any other context and have it make sense. The AEW World Heavyweight Championship belt does not even belong to MJF. It is company property, and it belongs to Tony Khan!
Could you imagine someone pitching you a story in which Harvard’s Athletic Director dressed up like a punk rock cat burglar, broke into an Associate Professor’s 2016 Toyota Camry, and tried to steal back the 2022 Whitelaw Cup that the Associate Professor had pilfered from a trophy case in clear view of the University’s Chancellor? No? Well, that’s what this storyline looks like to normies, and watching it gives me an ice cream headache but without the fun of eating ice cream.
MAX CASTER GETS CATFISHED — MINOR-HIT
This awkwardness was better than Wednesday’s awkwardness, but I’m still not sure about the decision to turn Max Caster’s sex appeal into abstinence appeal. However, I’m very sure that I laughed out loud during this segment, so it can’t be all bad. Right?
Side Note: I have horrible taste in humor and think puns are punny.
THE BOYS vs. THE GUNN CLUB — MINOR-HIT
Can men be chauvinistic towards other men because I feel like Dalton Castle is an inverted chauvinist. That said, this brief match was entertaining, even if it was only 90 seconds long.
Side Note: Why did Dalton Castle go to the back rather than support The Boys at ringside? Has he never seen a Bullet Club match before? Do wrestlers own television sets? Do they not know how to watch them? Is that why they’re always watching backstage monitors at a 90-degree angle?
RYAN NEMETH PROMO OUTSIDE CJ PERRY’S DRESSING ROOM — MINOR-HIT
Now that C.M. Punk has left, we can finally take Ryan Nemeth more seriou… He’s dead.
HIKARU SHIDA VS. ABADON IN A FRIGHT NIGHT FIGHT — HIT
Finally, the thing everyone tuned in for!
Abadon, the great and powerful, came out wearing a scarlet vampire cape, flames of green hair, and Space Ace makeup. Hikaru Shida came out wearing an evening gown for some reason.
This match had an odd stipulation that involved jumping off turnbuckles in attempts to ride broomsticks and a “We Want Pumpkins!” chant. However, as ridiculous as this match was, I also loved it. Abadon is so entertaining to me, and I was thrilled to see her get a piece of the limelight for once. I just wish that limelight hadn’t involved her wearing a pumpkin on her head.
TONI STORM EATS A CLEMENTINE ON THE ANNOUNCE TABLE — MEGA-HIT
The only way this could have been made better would have been if R.J. City had hand-fed Toni Storm the fruit himself.
KEITH LEE AND SHANE TAYLOR VIDEO PACKAGE — HIT
I am excited about this match, but I’m also afraid that it is going to take place on an ROH PPV, and I cannot justify spending another $40 on ROH when I’m already spending $50 a month on AEW.
SAMOA JOE SQUASHES RHETT TITUS — MINOR-HIT
Watching Samoa Joe destroy people never gets old, but I wish AEW would have given Rhett Titus, a former ROH World Television Champion, more offense so as to better protect that title’s historical prestige.
Q.T. MARSHALL, JOHNNY TV, HARLEY CAMERON INTERVIEW — MEGA-HIT
I did not expect to like this. Why did I like this? Am I broken inside?? What is going on???
Side Note: Q.T. Marshall is still the human equivalent of gravity.
CLAUDIO CASTAGNOLI PROMO — HIT
Claudio Castagnoli is one of the smarmiest b———ds out there, and I will never forgive his character for how much he disrespected Eddie Kingston’s epic career full of hard-hitting carnage, an ROH World Heavyweight Title run, and mustard wrestling.
DAX HARWOOD VS. RICKY STARKS — MEGA-HIT
I expected this match to be good, and it was. Both Dax Harwood and Ricky Starks are mavens of their craft.
Side Note: Do you remember that time Maven dropkicked the Undertaker so hard he eliminated him from the 2002 Royal Rumble? If not, you can watch that moment HERE.
Second Side Note: Do you remember that time Dax Harwood dropkicked Rezar at the 2019 Royal Rumble? If not, you can watch that moment HERE. However, to be honest, you’d probably be much better off watching THIS.
JULIA HART’S RETURN — HIT
This made Julia Hart look like a star.
Side note: It is wild to me to think this was once Julia Hart.
RUSH’S CREW GETTING INVOLVED IN SOMETHING THAT ISN’T AWFUL — MINOR-HIT
This is way better than pretending to do violence in a pseudo-gritty Tarantino parody.
SAMOA JOE TELLS MJF TO SCREAM OUT HIS NAME — HIT
This segment was both haunting and comical (which is also an apt description of the underrated 2023 Disney film “Haunted Mansion,” featuring Tiffany Haddish being hilarious.) Having Joe offer to run to MJF’s rescue if he’ll just scream out his name is an intriguing offer, potentially humiliating, and homoerotic to only me.
Side Note: In kayfabe, it would make a lot of sense for MJF to accept Joe’s request for a match, and here is my reasoning: I imagine MJF’s contract says he has to defend the World Title a certain number of times over a certain number of days. If MJF were forced to pick between Joe, Wardlow, and Hobbs, Joe would be the most obvious choice. MJF knows Wardlow can beat him; MJF has no idea if Hobbs can beat him, and MJF knows that he can beat Samoa Joe because he already beat him at Grand Slam.
JIM ROSS REPLACING KEVIN KELLY ON COMMENTARY — MEGA-HIT
Jim Ross was even better tonight than he was last week and a big improvement over Kevin Kelly. I don’t say that to be mean to Kevin Kelly. He seems like a nice person, isn’t “inherently” bad at his job, and I’ve noticed he’s gotten slightly better as of late. Still, he hasn’t delivered the kind of commentary he was apparently known for delivering during his New Japan run, and until Kelly has found his footing in AEW, I’d much rather hear from Jim Ross.
MJF VS. KENNY OMEGA — MEGA-HIT
Speaking of Jim Ross. During this match, Ross said, “You’ve all heard the crowd chant ‘This is awesome’ a lot, but it has never been more appropriate than now.”
Despite Omega stumbling on a kickup and slipping on a bridge-up, this match was epic. In fact, labeling it as a “mega-hit” is an understatement that fails to describe how good it was. This was an unqualified, unequivocal, gargantuan monster of a mega-hit. This match was so good that it surpassed Chrisitan Cage vs. Bryan Danielson to become the second-best match I have ever seen on AEW Collision, and I am a shameless mark for both of those men.
In my opinion, out of all the matches that have ever aired on Collision, only the FTR vs. Bullet Club Gold match was better than this one. I could even see how someone might make a good-faith argument that this match was still somehow better than FTR vs. Bullet Club Gold. I cannot see how someone could make a good-faith argument that this match was bad.
I don’t normally give out star ratings to matches on AEW Collision, but if I did, this would easily be a 4.75-star match. Congratulations to both men for not only living up to most people’s expectations but also exceeding them.
SIDE NOTE: MJF should have had his world title belt with him for this match’s introductions. MJF not having been given a new belt by now is ridiculous, and the fact that this storyline took away from the opening of a potentially legendary match is giving me another ice-cream headache.
FINAL THOUGHTS…
This show blew my expectations out of the water. I went into this hoping for a good show, and I left feeling like I witnessed one of AEW’s best. I don’t know what the ratings for this episode of AEW Collision will be, but if AEW stays the course with more shows like this, their ratings will eventually go up because the word will eventually get out.
SHOW GRADE: A+
Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, I’m still working on my sign-off, but until next week, remember, two wrongs do not make a left.
(David Bryant’s unwanted opinions can be found on his “Artist Formerly Known as Twitter” account @IamDavidBryant; a photo of five jack-o-lanterns can be found on David Bryant’s Instagram account @IamDavidBryant, and David Bryant’s Threads account is threadbare and also located @IamDavidBryant because David Bryant is bad at usernames. David is a published author, circus artist, drag promoter, male pageant winner, unrenowned musician, sloppy figure skater, and the inventor of the world’s first health-conscious escalator that improves the health of its riders by not giving rides and being stairs. Less impressively, he studied screenwriting at the University of North Carolina School of the Arts.)
OR CHECK THIS OUT AT PROWRESTLING.NET: AEW Collision results (10/28): Powell’s live review of MJF vs. Kenny Omega for the AEW World Championship, Hikaru Shida vs. Abadon for the AEW Women’s Championship
Shida’s evening gown was her Halloween costume. She was dressed as Ada Wong from the Resident Evil game series. Shida often does cosplay, tbh I’d have thought her Final Fantasy VII Tifa attire would make for better wrestling gear than her Ada costume but I’m not the one wrestling in it so what do I know. Meanwhile, Abadon was dressed as the comic character Spawn.