NJPW DESTRUCTION IN RYOGOKU REPORT: Lansdell’s results & analysis of Ishii & Tanahashi & Okada vs. MCMG & Alexander, Finlay vs. Tonga, Sanada vs. Evil Lumberjack match

NJPW “DESTRUCTION IN RYOGOKU” REPORT
OCTOBER 9, 2023
TOKYO, JAPAN
RYOGOKU KOKUGIKAN HALL
AIRED LIVE ON NJPW WORLD

Announcers: Kevin Kelly and Chris Charlton

For today’s undercard matches I’ll only mention any noteworthy moments and spots, saving the details for the big matches later on. This feels like a big card with several titles on the line. Let’s do this!

(1) HOUSE OF TORTURE (Sho & Yoshinobu Kanemaru & Yujiro Takahashi) vs. JUST FIVE GUYS (Douki & Taichi & Mystery Partner)

We’re not dragging out the surprise partner announcement as Just Five Guys are out first. And here I was thinking they would go with four guys and use up the old shirts. The mystery partner is…well, his entrance video calls him Heat Storm, which Kevin Kelly reckons is from the NXT Name Generator. However it is in fact the returning Yuya Uemura, who is very emotional coming out in colours for the first time.

House of Torture jumped their opponents before the bell, rudely interrupting the ring announcer. Commentary makes a point of mentioning that Taichi was one of Uemura’s last opponents before his excursion, and was very complimentary towards him.

Uemura was the recipient of the hot tag and went to work on all three opponents, showing off some crisp armdrags, but was cut off by typical House of Torture nonsense. The match broke down to an all-out brawl before Taichi and Uemura cleaned house. Uemera connected with a top rope crossbody and a belly to belly overhead underhook suplex with a bridge for the win.

WINNERS: Just 5 Guys via pinfall at 7:58. (*1/2)

(Lansdell’s Analysis: This was just a vehicle to reintroduce Uemura, have him join J5G, and continue to develop the feud. As such it delivered perfectly. Taichi and Kanemaru did not touch, continuing to develop that tension following Kanemaru’s defection. As a match it was entirely forgettable.)

(2) TANGA LOA vs. CHASE OWENS

Nothing like a good old-fashioned grudge match. With GoD vs Bullet Club happening twice more tonight, both for titles, this match is typical NJPW fare as a preview of sorts.

Tanga Loa went for an early pinfall after a spinout uranage, but got a two count. A botched 619 attempt from Loa gave Owens the opening to go on the attack. He openly shoved down the ref, and attacked Loa’s surgically repaired knee. Loa fought back and was able to hit a missile dropkick and a 619 (properly this time) at the five minute mark.

Tanga Loa countered a springboard cutter with a German suplex, a very impressive spot. They went to the floor where Owens escaped an attempt to drop his knee over the railing. Owens hit the Jewel Heist into the railing and rolled back inside. Loa got back in the ring at 15 and avoided the package piledriver. Owens continued his assault but a quick reversal into the OJK crossface won the match for Tanga Loa.

WINNER: Tanga Loa via submission at 8:17. (**1/4)

(Lansdell’s Analysis: It was OK, but I am bumping the rating up slightly for the German suplex spot. Chase is definitely losing several steps, and Loa seems like he’s still working through some ring rust. They managed to do something entertaining at least.)

(3) LOS INGOBERNABLES DE JAPÓN (Bushi & Shingo Takagi & Tetsuya Naito & Yota Tsuji) vs. UNITED EMPIRE (Callum Newman & Great-O-Khan & Henare & Jeff Cobb)

A return match of sorts from the last Destruction event, where Cobb and Naito faced off. I have never seen Newman before, but I understand I am in for a treat. Bushi is out in a plague doctor mask, and someone makes the Marty Scurll noise. Kevin Kelly shuts that down very quickly.

These two factions line up really well, I would not complain about a series of singles matches between the various members. We started with the enticing pairing of O-Khan and Tsuji. O-Khan gets the upper hand with some mat wrestling. Bushi tagged in but fared no better. Bushi did manage to avoid a charging Cobb which led to a tag to Shingo.

Shingo got the hot tag offense at the five minute mark. That train got derailed by Cobb, which then led to Naito and Newman tagging in. Newman is not fast, he is sudden. Unlike some quick wrestlers he makes it look smooth. Chaos ensues (and they aren’t even in the match) but ultimately Naito connects with Destino on Newman for the (predictable) victory.

WINNERS: Los Ingobernables de Japón via pinfall at 7:46. (**1/2)

(Lansdell’s Analysis: These multi-man matches rarely stand out, but are on the card to further storylines. This was a solid offering with everyone except Henare getting a chance to do something impressive. Newman will be one to watch, especially if he goes to the Junior division. O-Khan vs Tsuji and Cobb vs Shingo are both appealing prospects set up in this match, and I won’t argue with either.)

(4) BULLET CLUB WAR DOGS (Clark Connors & Drilla Moloney) (c) vs. Intergalactic Jet Setters (Kevin Knight & Kushida) – IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Title Match

This one will be interesting. Connors and Moloney have been brutal and physical, Kushida of course is a mat-based Junior, and Knight seems to be more of a flyer. Knight and Kushida have “guaranteed victory” on their headbands, according to Chris Charlton.

Bullet Club jumped their opponents before the bell. Kushida countered a double whip with a springboard back elbow to both men, sending Connors and Moloney to the floor. Knight jumped off the back of Kushida with a somersault senton to the outside…and mostly hits nothing. Back inside, Kushida beat on Moloney in the corner and went to work on the arm. Knight tagged in with a very high splash to the back of Moloney and then went back to work on the arm.

Knight connected with a sliding shoulder tackle and tagged in Kushida, who applied a seated Romero special. He transitioned into a leg full nelson. Moloney fought to his feet, Connors got a blind tag and wiped out Kushida with a Pounce. Connors remonstrated with the crowd, absorbing some kicks to the leg from Kushida before leveling Kushida with a chop. Moloney tagged back in and laid in a very loud chop of his own and applied a submission hold as we approached the five minute mark.

Kushida managed to escape the hold and got a schoolboy for a quick count. He tried to tag Knight, but Connors yanked Knight off the apron. Moloney guillotined Kushida under the bottom rope. Kushida fought back but was tripped by Connors from the outside. Moloney ran the ropes and was tripped by Knight from the outside. Both men made the tag as Knight came flying in with a high springboard clothesline.

Multiple right hands from Knight to Connors, Connors reversed a whip and popped Knight up, but Knight came down with a dropkick. Moloney tried to intervene but ate a shotei. Connors and Moloney teamed up to whip Knight to the ropes, but Knight leapt OVER the double clothesline and hit a standing moonsault dropkick to both men. Impressive. He followed up with a springboard crossbody to Moloney. Kushida lifted Connors onto his shoulders, and Knight connected with a dropkick into the electric chair drop from Kushida. That got a two count.

Knight and Connors were alone in the ring. Knight tried for the leaping spike DDT but Connors blocked, then ducked a charging Knight. Moloney caught Knight with a superkick, and Connors knocked Kushida off the apron. Spear/chop block combo from Connors and Moloney, they set up a double team move but Kushida knocked Connors off the top rope. Moloney hit a spinebuster and double stomp on Knight, but ate a whirling forearm from Kushida. Connors intervened and hit a snap powerslam on Kushida.

Knight and Connors exchanged shots in the middle of the ring. Knight got the upper hand until Connors hit a headbutt. Connors tried to whip Knight off the ropes, Knight held on and went for a splash. Connors moved, but Knight came back with a pop-up powerbomb. Both men made tags at the ten minute mark.

Kushida connected with a flying forearm, an armdrag and a cartwheel basement dropkick. Vintage Kushida! He picked up Moloney for the electric chair drop, but Connors cut off Knight and lifted him to the same position. Moloney and Knight exchanged slaps while sitting on their opponents’ shoulders, a weird visual but I’ll allow it. Moloney got the better of the exchange but unfortunately for him this led to Knight hitting a poison rana on Connors. Kind of. It was not a good landing. Knight hit a charging clothesline on Moloney in the corner, as did Kushida. Kushida tried a rana off the top rope, Moloney held on to block, and then Knight came running over with his own rana to complete the move.

Running spike DDT from Knight to Moloney connected! Kushida covered but Connors ran Knight into Kushida to break the pin. Knight and Connors rolled to the floor with Knight trying to apply a kimmura. Kushida kicked out Moloney’s arm and tried for the Hoverboard lock, Moloney fought it off and reversed a whip, Kushida went for the springboard poison rana and GOOD GRIEF Moloney just absolutely dunked Kushida on his head with a Drilla Killa. Kushida does not look well. Knight and Connors came back in, and Knight got flattened with the popup spear combo.

Moloney lifted Kushida for a suplex, Kushida tried to counter with a Hoverboard lock, but Moloney brute forced him up for Connors to connect with Full Clip for the victory.

WINNERS: Bullet Club War Dogs via pinfall at 13:27 to retain the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Title. (***1/4)

(Lansdell’s Analysis: I didn’t expect a title change going in but at a few points in the match I thought they might actually pull the trigger. That’s a sign of a very good match. I expect I will have this rated higher than most but I really enjoyed the balance of spots in this one. Knight is still missing a fair amount of polish, but I see the potential there. Aside from almost murdering Kushida, I think everyone in BC War Dogs is doing great work right now, and these two are no exception.)

(5) MASTER WATO & SHOTA UMINO & YUJI NAGATA vs. STRONG STYLE (El Desperado & Minoru Suzuki & Ren Narita) – Six Man Tag Team Best Of Seven Series Match #7

When was the last time a Best of Seven series did NOT go to the deciding seventh match? At least in this one, there has been a draw so only one team (Strong Style) can actually win outright. The story throughout this series has been the rivalry between Ren Narita and Shota Umino, which during the G1 went the time limit. With a draw in the series already, I would not be shocked to see Umino’s team pick up the win here to end the series at 3-3 with the draw.

Suzuki and Nagata facing off is always a fun time, and in fact was one of my favourite matches of 2020. El Desperado and Master Wato have good chemistry too. This really is a solid matchup all around. Wato and Desperado started us off.

Wato grabbed a headlock, quickly reversed by Desperado. Shoulder tackle by Desperado, followed by an armdrag for each man. Wato hit a dropkick sending Desperado to the floor, Wato teased a dive to the outside but out the brakes on when he saw that Desperado was going to avoid it. Wato posed in the ring as we reached that stalemate. Suzuki and Nagata tagged in. Here we go!

To the surprise of nobody, the two veterans traded stiff forearms. Then a few more. Then a couple more. Suzuki threw Nagata through the ropes and followed him outside, where he whipped Nagata to the barricade. Nagata rebounded with a big boot and returned the whipping favour, and Suzuki also rebounded with a boot. They faced off and started trading forearms again. I get the feeling these two would gladly do this for hours. The referee is getting increasingly indignant, so both men take a break from smacking each other and roll back inside.

Suzuki surprised Nagata with a boot to the gut, a snap mare and a kick to the spine. Nagata got up, punched Suzuki in the gut, and hit his own snap mare and spine kick. This is the most painful game of Horse I have ever seen. Suzuki’s turn consisted of a kick to the gut, snap mare and running kick to the chest. Nagata is able to copy it. We have switched to open-hand slaps now! Both men fell to the floor in another stalemate and made the tags to Narita and Umino.

Narita got the early upper hand with a knee to the gut, but Umino came back with a running forearm. Umino laid in some shots but his hip toss was blocked. Narita applied the Cobra Twist. Umino got to the ropes for the break and both men went to the floor to join everyone else. Suzuki whipped Umino into the barricade, and Narita followed up with a running boot to send Umino into the crowd. We have just gone past five minutes.

Narita ran Umino into the ring post, while Suzuki somehow got his hands on a chair. He threw it aside and continued trading forearms with Nagata. Back inside the ring, Narita whipped Umino into the corner and tagged in Suzuki. Open-handed slaps to the face of Umino. Quick tags by Strong Style as they continued to punish Umino in the corner. Narita connected with a hangman’s bulldog for a two count. He tried for the half-hatch suplex but Umino blocked and hit a back elbow and basement dropkick.

Suzuki and Desperado came in to subdue Umino, who came off a whip with a dropkick to both men. He hit a running back elbow in the corner on Narita for two. Umino went to the top and connected with a beautiful missile dropkick. Bloody Sunday connected for a two count. He lined up for Ignition but Narita countered into the Cobra Twist. Umino tried to counter with a hip toss but Narita fought it off. Umino’s partners tried to intervene but were cut off. Umino got close to the ropes but Narita switched into a bridging German suplex for a near fall at the ten-minute mark.

Narita hit the Northern Lights suplex and went for a belly to belly, but Umino escaped. Ignition by Umino connects! Umino went for the Death Rider but Narita pushed him off, only for Umino to hit a tornado DDT. With both men down, Nagata and Suzuki reappeared, still hitting each other. I choose to believe they were doing that the whole time. Suzuki ate a running boot from Nagata but was able to get under a clothesline and apply the rear naked choke. Nagata tried to counter with a back drop driver but Suzuki held on. Suzuki tried to transition to the Gotch-style piledriver but Nagata used the break in contact to hit an exploder suplex, leaving both men down.

Desperado and Wato both came in, and the change of pace was notable. Desperado avoided a flying attack and connected with a spinebuster and a back suplex. Wato escaped the Gitara del Angel and hit a release German and a head kick. Desperado came back with a haymaker right hand and now everyone is down as we approach the 15-minute mark.

Umino and Narita were the first men standing. They exchanged very stiff strikes, Narita gaining the upper hand with an enziguri. Umino rolled through an attempt and connected with Death Rider! 1…2…3!

WINNERS: Shota Umino, Yuji Nagata & Master Wato via pinfall at 14:18 (***1/2)

(Lansdell’s Analysis: Slightly better than the previous match, and I thought they worked the multi-man aspect well here. The match felt like three singles matches stitched together, but the stitching was mostly seamless. I kind of like the story of deadlock between Narita and Umino, and I fully expect a WrestleKingdom singles match between them where we finally see a winner.)

Shota Umino offered a handshake to Narita after the match, and it was aggressively accepted. Wato offered one to Desperado, which was also accepted albeit with slightly less animus. Nagata and Suzuki…slapped each other a couple times, then shook hands. Their interactions will never get old.

(6) BULLET CLUB WAR DOGS (Alex Coughlin & Gabe Kidd) vs. GUERILLAS OF DESTINY (El Phantasmo & Hikuleo) – NJPW Strong Openweight Tag Team Title Match

Coughlin seemed to be out on his own…oh no, of course he wasn’t. He was attacking from behind. We started the match on the outside, with ELP being thrown into the crowd. Hikuleo was clutching at his knee, which had been run into the post off-camera. Coughlin stomped at the knee of Hikuleo and applied a leg lace. He tagged in Kidd who continued to work on the leg. Kidd layed in some stiff forearms, which Hikuleo shrugged off before replying with a slap and a backdrop.

ELP and Coughlin tagged in, and ELP avoided several attacks before knocking Kidd off the apron andhitting a springboard crossbody. He then hit a slingshot crossbody to the outside, came back in and connected with a beautiful swanton into a lionsault on Coughlin. He went for a cover but Coughlin rolled through, deadlifted ELP from the mat into a vertical suplex position, and then just deposited him to the floor. That takes serious strength.

On the floor, Kidd went on the attack before rolling ELP back inside. Coughlin leveled ELP with a chop and got a two count. Tag to Kidd, who continued the beatdown. Everything Kidd and Coughlin do looks like it hurts a lot. Kidd trash talked ELP as we reach five minutes.

Kidd went to the eyes to cut short the comeback attempt. Coughlin tagged in and ran across the ring to dropkick Hikuleo’s knee and take him off the apron. ELP blocked a double team and hit a huracanrana on Coughlin, but his tag was prevented by Kidd pulling Hikuleo off the apron. ELP escaped another double team attempt before knocking Kidd into Couglin, and was finally able to tag in the big man.

Hikuleo cleaned house with a hip toss, a stun gun and a clothesline. He grabbed both opponents for a chokeslam but was fought off. He ran through the tandem clothesline attempt and then knocked both men down with his own double clothesline. Hikuleo charged at Coughlin with a kick in the corner, but Coughlin moved and hit a big backdrop suplex. Deadlift gutwrench suplex by Coughlin! He locked in a single-leg crab in the middle of the ring.

Kidd prevented ELP from breaking up the submission attempt, but Hikuleo was able to get to the ropes. Coughlin attempted a vertical suplex, Hikuleo blocked it and tried one of his own. Coughlin escaped, ran the ropes and ducked two clotheslines before running into the snap powerslam.

ELP tagged in at the ten-minute mark and knocked Kidd off the apron. He called for Sudden Death but Kidd grabbed his legs to prevent it. ELP turned a clothesline attempt from Coughlin into a UFO, assisted by a big boot from Hikuleo. The cover was broken up by Kidd at 2, who dragged ELP to the Bullet Club corner before tagging in.

Kidd sat on the turnbuckle and applied a guillotine choke, breaking before he got disqualified. Coughlin collected ELP and held him in position for the Doomsday Device for a near fall. Double muscle buster by Bullet Club got another two count. They positioned for a spike piledriver, but Hikuleo intercepted Kidd on the top rope. ELP rolled up Coughlin for a close two count.

Sudden Death attempt by ELP was blocked, Kidd tried to clothesline ELP but missed and hit his own partner. Kidd fought off both men, slapped Hikuleo several times and then spit in his face. Hikuleo took exception to that and leveled him with a slap. GoD measured Coughlin, ELP hit the Sudden Death superkick and Hikuleo connected with the Godsend chokeslam. Thunderkiss ‘86 connected! 1…2…3!

WINNERS: Guerillas of Destiny via pinfall at 13:11 to win the NJPW Strong Tage Team titles. (***)

(Lansdell’s Analysis: That was a surprise to me. Kidd and Coughlin have been so good, I did not expect them to drop here. I really like how NJPW is bringing Hikuleo along, limiting his exposure but slowly expanding his role in matches. ELP carried this one and did a grand job of it. I’m very curious what this will mean going forward for the Strong titles.)

(7) CHAOS (Kazuchika Okada & Tomohiro Ishii) & Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNS (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) & JOSH ALEXANDER – Never Openweight Six Man Tag Team Title Match

I have not recapped a MCMG match in a long time. I used to dread them because of the pace. I have to expect that it has slowed somewhat, however. It’s still strange seeing Alex Shelley as a world champion.

Speaking of strange sights, Okada as a six-man tag champ with Tanahashi is something that I may never get used to. There’s also the undercurrent of Okada’s strong dislike for Impact (TNA at the time), who had Okada when he was a Young Lion…and made him into a comedy character. Oops. Oh, and Shelley will be defending his title against Alexander in two weeks. Another story to watch.

Shelley and Tanahashi got us started. They exchanged arm wringers and headlock takeovers.Tanahashi countered a charge with a back elbow, then hit a second rope crossbody. Alexander and Ishii tagged in and a slugfest ensued. Ishii got the upper hand but charged into a back elbow. Running boot from Alexander led to the ankle lock being applied, which Ishii reversed into an ankle lock of his own. Alexander escaped and leveled Ishii with a shoulder tackle before both men tagged out.

The unlikely pairing of Sabin and Okada locked up, and Sabin went through an elaborate series of moves to hit an arm drag. Seemed a little excessive. Okada backed Sabin into the corner, kicked him in the gut and whipped him to the opposite corner. Sabin avoided the charge and hit a crossbody off the top for 2.

Okada fired back with some forearms, but a blind tag to Shelley led to a drop toehold/bulldog combo by the Machine Guns. Tanahashi tried to intervene but ate a high boot. Ishii then took a turn, only to get a lariat sandwich. The Guns hit a PK/superkick combo from the apron to Okada on the floor, and Alexander followed that up with a running attack to Okada from the ring to the floor.

Okada was rolled back inside, where Shelley continued the attack. Sabin tagged in and they hit a double back elbow for a two count. Alexander tagged in and after a brief flurry of offense, Okada managed to connect with an Emerald Flowsion neckbreaker before tagging Ishii.

Ishii knocked Alexander down with a shoulder tackle before being blindsided by MCMG. He blocked an Irish whip and tried to double clothesline the Guns, who ducked it. Ishii caught a kick from Shelley, threw the leg into Sabin, then whipped Shelley into Sabin. Shoulder tackle to Shelley, and a charging clothesline to Alexander in the corner.

Alexander turned the tables and hit a loud chop. He ducked an Ishii clothesline and then hit the rolling Germans. Tanahashi tried to grab Ishii’s hands to block the third but Shelly kicked Ishii’s hands away allowing Alexander to hit Chaos Theory. A bridge and cover got a very near fall at ten minutes.

Alexander got the double under hook and tried for the c4, is she fought out and the pair exchanged forearms. Alexander won the exchange and hit a powerbomb backbreaker for a two count before Okada broke it up. The Guns, Okada and Tanahashi fought on the floor, while Alexander fired up in the ring and measured Ishii. Alexander went for the C4 again, but Ishii back dropped his way out of it.

Massive headbutt from Ishii, and Alexander’s head guard fell off. With both men down, Sabin tagged in and went to the top rope and hit a missile dropkick halfway across the ring. The comeback did not last long, as Ishii reversed a suplex attempt into one of his own. He finally makes the tag to Tanahashi, who comes in like a house on fire.

Tanahashi connected with a flying forearm to Sabin, and knocked Alex Shelley off the apron. Scoop slam to Sabin, Tanahashi went to the middle rope and hit the somersault senton for a two count. Sabin came back with a jawbreaker, he avoided a charging Tanahashi and the Guns hit a tandem kick in the corner. Shelley tagged in but Tanahashi moved and Sabin kicked his own partner. I expected that between Alexander and Shelley, honestly. Dragon screw by Tanahashi to Sabin, flapjack by Okada to Alexander, and the Champions were in control.

With only Shelley in the ring with them, Okada hit a boot, Tanahashi hit a slap, and Ishii hit a northern lariat. They combined to hit Shelley with an elevated DDT. Tanahashi as the legal man got a near fall. Tanahashi went for Slingblade but Shelley avoided it and hit a whirling forearm. Okada leveled Shelley with his own forearm, then in turn was lifted by Alexander for a Death Valley Driver. Okada escaped and hit a very crisp boot.

Sabin charged Okada but ran into an elbow. Shelley inserted himself and the Guns hit their trademark atomic drop-basement dropkick-neck snap-basement dropkick combo. Shelley kicked Tanahashi, they countered each other several times, and Alexander inadvertently nailed Shelley in the face. Ahh, there it is.

Ishii intercepted Alexander with a massive clothesline, then Okada hit his picture-perfect dropkick on Sabin. Tanahashi lined up Shelley and after a series of reversals hit Twist and Shout into the slingblade. Tanahashi connected with High Fly Flow for the win, pinning the Impact World Champion in the process.

WINNERS: Hiroshi Tanahashi & Kazuchika Okada & Tomohiro Ishii via pinfall at 15:54 to retain the Never Openweight Six Man Tag Team Titles (***1/4)

(Lansdell’s Analysis: A very predictable outcome, especially with Alexander and Shelley about to face off for the Impact title. The match felt a little messy and chaotic, but somehow MCMG have not lost much of a step. Ishii stepped up the pace in this one. )

Tanahashi signals to Shelley that they are tied at one pinfall each now, suggesting Tanahashi wants to challenge for the title at some point.

(8) DAVID FINLAY vs. TAMA TONGA – Never Openweight Title Match

This is a real grudge match, but with a title on the line. Gedo came out seemingly alone, which we learned earlier means Finlay is coming out from the side. He leveled Tama with the belt and rained down right hands.The bell rang with Tama in trouble.

Finlay connected with a Spear for a two count. He continued the ground and pound, much to the chagrin of the crowd. He threw Tama to the floor, and followed him out. Finley repeatedly rammed Tama into the railing, before taking time to insult the fans. Finley went looking for a steel chair under the ring, and waffled Tama repeatedly in the back with it. Finley went back under the ring, this time to find a table which he set up ringside. Finlay attempted a powerbomb through the table but Tama managed to escape, only to be run backwards into the railing again.

Still on the outside, Finley rolled back the protective padding exposing the floor. He once again attempted a powerbomb, but Tama used the apron and ropes to hold on and escape. Tama jumped off the apron with a clothesline but Finlay ducked and went for a tombstone on the exposed floor. Tama slipped out the back and hit a Tongan Twist on the concrete.

In control now, Tama repeatedly slammed Finlay’s head off the apron (which I hear is the hardest part of the ring) before rolling Finlay back inside. Tama went on a rampage in the corner with fists and feet, even pushing the referee aside.

Exploder suplex out of the corner by Tama, followed up with a t-bone suplex. They were both very crisp. Tama hit a hard Stinger splash in the corner, then another exploder suplex. Finlay begged off, then went to the heel hectic of biting Tama on the forehead to get the upper hand briefly. A series of reversals led to Finlay on the outside and Tama hitting a slingshot crossbody from the ring to the floor.

On the outside, Tama whips Finlay into the barricade, retaining wrist control each time. Finlay counters one last attempt before lifting Tama with a fireman’s carry and launching him head-first at the corner post. It looked a lot worse than it felt, I’m sure.

Back inside, Finlay hit a lariat to the back of the head for a 2 count. The ring announcer called out the ten-minute warning as Finlay hit a Blue Thunder for another near fall. A big lariat from Finlay was followed by a Dominator for another 2 count. Tama blocked a powerbomb attempt, so Finlay clubbed away at his back before trying again. Both men countered each other, ending with a big lariat from Tama.

Tama ripped off his shirt and hit a TKO. Rolling Death Valley Driver by Tama connected, he went for Supreme Flow but took too long and Finlay was able to recover and knock Tama off the top to the floor.

On the apron, on the side of the ring with the table, Finlay set up for yet another power bomb. Tama countered with a backdrop on the apron and went for Gun Stun. Finlay blocked it and ran Tama into the ring post, before finally managing to powerbomb Tama through the table on the outside.

Finlay rolled Tama back inside at the 15-minute mark. He hit another powerbomb, this time sans table. He showboated for a bit before going for Oblivion…countered into the Gun Stun! Both men were down, before getting to their knees and exchanging blows. They fought to their feet, still swapping shots, and Tama got the advantage.

Tama attempted the Gun Stun, Finlay blocked and went for Oblivion, which was also blocked. After a series of counters Tama tried a springboard Gun Stun, it was also blocked by Finlay who then hit a headbutt. Finlay went for what felt like the 50th powerbomb of the match, but Tama reversed into a rollup for a near fall. Shades of their Korauken match!

Finlay connected with a whirling forearm, then went for a second only to be met with a Gun Stun. 1…2…no! Tama got the double underhook but Finlay fought out. Tama hit several knee lifts but Finlay backdropped Tama over…Tama held on! Styles Clash! Tiger Driver 96! 1…2…3!

WINNER: Tama Tonga via pinfall at 19:37 to win the Never Openweight Title. (***1/2)

(Lansdell’s Analysis: These two do have good chemistry, but the match just felt like it lacked something for me. Once again the win was something of a surprise, as this leaves Bullet Club with only the Junior Heavyweight tag titles. I think Finlay has been doing a great job as BC leader, and the faction has shifted direction under him to really have an identity that isn’t just “cool heels”. Not having a title weakens that position. Tama having a title does suggest he will be sticking around a bit, amid the constant WWE rumours. )

(9) HIROMU TAKAHASHI vs. YOH vs. MIKE BAILEY – IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title Match

This one will be a challenge. I will make no secret of my Mike Bailey fandom. Yoh is replacing Lio Rush in this match, which slows the match down only a little bit.

Bailey kicked Hiromu in the face and after some rope-running hit Yoh in the chest. Hiromu clotheslined Bailey in the corner, Bailey avoided the low dropkick from Hiromu but not the follow-up from Yoh. More running and uhh…some dodging and…wow. That was a lot in a hurry. All three men faced off in the center of the ring.

Hiromu decided he was done, so he went to stand on the apron and invited Bailey and Yoh to fight it out. Neither man liked that suggestion so Bailey kicked Hiromu off the apron and Yoh followed with a slingshot crossbody. Bailey hit the moonsault from the middle rope to the floor, but only connected with Hiromu as Yoh avoided it and hit another slingshot crossbody.

Back inside, Yoh hit a Falcon Arrow on Hiromu for a near fall. Bailey broke it up, threw Yoh to the floor and then hit the butt butt on Hiromu. Helluva kick in the corner by Bailey, paying tribute to his fellow French Canadian. Bailey hit a springboard double knee drop to Hiromu for a short count before Yoh broke it up.

Bailey and Yoh chopped each other, Hiromu tried to blindside them both but ate a pair of kicks instead. Both Yoh and Bailey went for the cover but Red Shoes didn’t count. They agreed to throw Hiromu to the floor, then resumed their strike battle. Shockingly Bailey one with an axe kick and a stiff chest kick, then hit a running shooting star for two.

Both men exchanged acrobatic counters. Bailey went for a series of alternative kicks, but Yoh caught one and hit a dragon screw to halt the momentum. Hiromu got to the apron before Yoh kicked him down again. Yoh charged Bailey in the corner with a back elbow, then whipped him to the opposite corner. Hiromu came out of nowhere and hit a corner clothesline on Bailey, a back elbow on Yoh, then made Bailey hit a headscissors on Yoh. More chaotic offense from Hiromu led to a snap mare and low dropkick to Yoh and a missile dropkick from the apron to the floor on Bailey.

Not content with one downed opponent on the outside, Hiromu hit the sunset bomb to the floor on Yoh. He rolled Bailey in and hit Dynamite Plunger for a near fall. Time Bomb attempt was countered by Bailey into a rollup for 2. Bailey got a rana for 2. Hiromu rolled through for his own two count, then Bailey hit a stiff kick and the standing moonsault double knees. Bailey went for the whirlwind kick but Hiromu was able to block, only to get kicked in the head anyway. Bailey went to the top looking for the moonsault knees again, but Yoh ran in and jumped off the back of Hiromu to interrupt.

Bailey avoided the charging Yoh, then charged Hiromu only to get thrown overhead into Yoh and the corner. Very nice exchange. Hiromu is in charge now, which slows the match down somewhat. Not a sentence I ever expected to type. Hiromu goes for Time Bomb on Bailey, Yoh interrupts with a dropkick. Bailey kicks Yoh, Hiromu dropkicks Bailey, then Yoh dropkicks Hiromu. Take a deep breath everyone.

Oh, we weren’t done. Bailey obliterates Yoh with a thrust kick. He tries it on Hiromu who does a half-Matrix style dodge…of the first one. The second one caught him flush on the jaw. Bailey hit the whirlwind kick on Yoh, then crossed the ring and hit it on Hiromu as we reached ten minutes.

Bailey went up top for Ultima Weapon on Hiromu, but Yoh ran into the ropes and crotched Bailey. Hiromu chopped Bailey, then went up for a superplex. I wonder if this might be a Tower of Doom…oh there it went. What an innovative spot, he typed sarcastically. Yoh went for the pin on Hiromu but only got 2.

Still in the (direct) driver’s seat. Yoh hit a wild lariat but Hiromu rolled into the ropes. Yoh tried to take the attack to Bailey but got backed into the corner. Bailey hit a back elbow, an arm drag and a kick, but then got nothing but canvas on the Ultima Weapon attempt. Low superkick from Yoh, dragon suplex bridge! 1…2…Hiromu broke it up!

All three men were down, feeling the effects. Hiromu got a quick rollup on Yoh for two, then hit a Hiromu-chan bomber. He went for Time Bomb again but Yoh hit the poison rana and a Rush Hour. Yoh hit a suplex drop backbreaker, then went to the top rope…Final Hour! Bailey interrupted the cover at 2!

Yoh ducked Bailey’s head kick, but ran right into an inverted Spanish Fly powerslam for 2. Bailey measured and hit a head kick, then another one in the corner. Bailey went for the Flamingo Driver but Yoh slipped out the back and hit a ripcord knee at the 15-minute call.

Yoh hit Direct Drive, but Hiromu broke up the cover at 2. Hiromu hit a whirling forearm on Yoh, but charged right into a MASSIVE superkick from Yoh. He almost knocked Hiromu’s fool head off his fool shoulders. Direct Drive…no! Hiromu rolled through! Time Bomb…connected! 1…2…no!

Hiromu waits for Yoh, then hits the Hiromu-chan bomber. Then a second. Time Bomb 2 by Hiromu! 1…2…3! Wow.

WINNER: Hiromu Takahashi via pinfall at 17:55 to retain the IWGP Junior Heavyweight Title. (****1/4)

(Lansdell’s Analysis: That was a lot. Almost non-stop action, and all three men gave everything they had. Yoh was always likely to take the fall, but I believed all three men were going to win at various points. I would not have minded a title change here, to be honest. At no time was I left wanting for action, that’s for sure. If you like a plethora of spots and a lot of smooth speed, seek this one out.)

Mike Bailey left the arena screaming for another chance as Hiromu posed. The lights went out, and when they came back on Taiji Ishimori was in the ring. He hit a high knee, then set up for Bloody Cross before having second thoughts and tossing Hiromu aside. He wants a title shot. Ishimori never lost the title, so now the Hiromu win makes even more sense.

Before the main event, Keiji Mutoh is introduced as a guest commentator. Only in Japanese, sadly.

(10) SANADA vs. EVIL – IWGP World Heavyweight Title Lumberjack Match

I am very curious how a lumberjack match will go down in Japan. I am also very worried about the outcome here. As unimpressive as Sanada has been as champion, he’s still infinitely better than Evil would be.

Evil came out first, still in possession of Sanada’s belt and still claiming to be the champion. Chris Charlton with the line of the night: “Possession is 90% of the law, and he’s only 3 seconds from the other 10%.” Sho does the ring announcing for Evil, proclaiming him to be the champ. He actually did a good job on that.

Kevin Kelly pointed out that Mutoh being at ringside adds another layer of pressure for Sanada.

Evil surprisingly did not job Sanada before the bell, but did start with a kick to the gut instead of locking up. Sanada got the better of the early exchange and went for the standing moonsault, Evil avoided it but Sanada was able to land on his feet and dropkick a seated Evil in the back of his head. Evil rolled to the floor…on the Just Five Guys side. They throw him right back in with no extracurricular activities. We have two referees here tonight, for all the good that will do.

Evil took a powder on the House of Torture side, and tried to blindside Sanada. The champ was wise to it though, and caught Evil coming in. He tied Evil up in the ropes and hit the sliding dropkick. Sanada whipped Evil to the corner and hit a running back elbow for a two count.

Sanada went for the backdrop driver, Evil pulled his hair to escape and then low-bridged Sanada to the floor. HoT jumped Sanada on the outside, J5G came to the rescue, but the damage had been done. Evil whipped Sanada to the barricade, knocking over the ring announcer. Sho very helpfully rolled Sanada back into the ring, where a corner pad had somehow been removed. Evil whipped Sanada into that corner, which I am sure shocks you.

Evil played to the crowd before throwing Sanada to the floor. Sho rolled him in, so Evil threw him out again. They played volleyball with Sanada before a trio of covers and near falls from Evil. Sanada tried to fight back with overhead chops, but Evil cut him off with an eye gouge. Evil whipped Sanada to the exposed corner, but Sanada put on the brakes and then avoided a charging Evil who ran into the corner. A back suplex from Sanada left both men down.

Kevin Kelly tells us that Sanada is 13-0 in his last 13 main events, while Evil is 3-10. Embarrassing for Evil. Sanada dropkicked the knee of Evil, then hit a traditional dropkick. Togo and Kanemaru tried to interfere but Sanada kicked the middle rope and crotched them both before tying them both up in the paradise lock. He liberated them both with low dropkicks, then hit slingshot crossbodies to Yujiro and Sho.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Evil tried to abscond with the title. J5G chased him down and brought him back to ringside at the ten minute mark. Evil tried to beg off, but Sanada was not fooled and hit a Russian leg sweep for 2. Sanada went for a fireman’s carry but Evil went to the eyes. Sanada countered some typical Evil tomfoolery and hit a pair of forearms. Evil then pulled the referee into the path of a third, allowing HoT to go to work on Sanada.

J5G belatedly remembered they can move and go to help out their boy, unsuccessfully. All five Hot members beat down Sanada in the ring, including the teamwork low blow from the middle rope. The extra referee came in to make the count, but Sanada managed to kick out. Evil took his chagrin out on the second ref. J5G was apparently looking for some good coffee or something.

Sho hit a piledriver on Sanada, as ref number three came out to check on Red Shoes. Not to disqualify Evil, of course. Evil hit a suplex for a two count. This whole scenario just makes Sanada and J5G look stupid. At the 15-minute mark Sanada was whipped into the corner but was able to pull a Ric Flair flip to the apron and a springboard missile dropkick, leaving both men down.

Sanada connected with a TKO for a near fall. He locked in Skull End but Evil escaped with a snap mare. Sanada went for a shining wizard but Evil blocked it and locked in the Scorpion deathlock. See, when Evil TRIES to wrestle he’s good at it. Sanada fought to get to the ropes but collapsed. He muscled up again and got the rope break.

Darkness Falls from Evil got a two count. Evil waited for Sanada to stand, then went for Everything is Evil. Sanada escaped but ate a big lariat. He defiantly called for more, and got more in the form of a second lariat. Sanada fell to all fours. Evil lined up a third one, but Sanada ducked it and hit a magic screw to leave both men down again at the 20-minute mark.

Sanada went to the top for a moonsault, Evil moved out of the way but Sanada landed on his feet and sunk in a DEEP Skull End. J5G finally woke up and kept HoT at bay, but Togo escaped long enough to ring the bell. This of course made the Mensa-level genius Sanada break his submission hold, which in turn led to Evil knocking him into the referee who in turn stumbled awkwardly sideways, completely against his natural momentum, into the exposed corner buckle. Ugh.

Togo came into the ring, but Douki cut him off. Sho and his wrench tried their luck but Taichi superkicked him into next week. Black Mephisto to Sho! Kanemaru came in and sprayed whiskey into the eyes of Taichi, then leveled him with the bottle. Taka came in with a tackle and the Michinoku Driver! Yujiro took out Taka with the pimp cane, but Uemura stepped in and hit the overhead suplex! Evil went for Everything is Evil on Uemura, who escaped and hit an enzuigiri! Shining Wizard from Sanada to Evil!

There was no referee of course, so Sanada wnt up top and moonsaults the back of Evil. Referee number four ran out! Sanada went back to the moonsault well a second time, and connected again to the chest this time. 1…2…Togo pulled the referee out! Are there even any more referees left?

Uemura went for Togo but Evil hit a low blow to both Uemura and Sanada. Togo knocked Douki off the apron, before sliding a chair to Evil. He nailed Sanada in the head with the chair. The crowd were exceedingly displeased. Magikiller by Evil and Togo. Togo went outside and resuscitated Red Shoes, bringing him back to the ring. Red Shoes reluctantly went down to count…and flipped the double bird at Evil! And at Togo!

Sanada capitalised on the distraction and got an O’Connor roll! 1…2…no! Evil hit a lariat at the 25 minute call, flattening Sanada. After a couple of counters Evil hit the Mind Trip for two. Everything…Is…no! Everything is in fact Sanada as he hit his own version of the move. Sanada crawled to his feet using the ropes for assistance.

Shining Wizard to the back of the head connected for Sanada! Another to the face! Deadfall! 1…2…3! Sanada retains!

WINNER: Sanada via pinfall at 27:57. (**1/2)

(Lansdell’s Analysis: Please, please let this be the end of the House of Torture main event run. It has absolutely ruined Sanada and his faction, making them look like chumps, and cheapening what is meant to be a noble promotion. Even WWE at its worst did not have clusters like this. The thing is, if you cast aside all the ludicrous interference and the fact we went through four refs, there was a decent to good match here. That might be what infuriates me most. Evil is very good, he doesn’t need the shenanigans. It’s not a master stroke of booking to make us hate the heels, it makes us not want to watch them.)

We find out that as a result of winning, Sanada has also received a one-year supply of vinegar. I have no idea what to do with this information, and to me it just puts the (pickled) cherry on the cake. Never mind defending your title, you got free vinegar!

Naito came out with his contract tote to face down his former pupil in LIJ. Nothing of note in the promo.

Overall thoughts: This did not feel like a big show for NJPW. We had Uemura returning from excursion and playing a big role, Ishimori is back…but there was only one real standout match. That’s unusual for New Japan. Hopefully now Sanada can move on to a feud that makes him look like a worthy champion instead of a buffoon. With Junior Tag League coming, he will have some time off at least.

You can contact me at lansdellicious@gmail.com or on Twitter @lansdellicious. Thanks for joining us!