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The following report was originally published 20 years ago this week here at PWTorch.com…
WWE Smackdown Review
September 4, 2003
Taped 9/4 in New Orleans, La.
Aired on UPN
Will Smackdown achieve the standard this week?
The Big Picture: I can’t believe Raw’s rating went up again, but that’s neither here or there, so on to my thoughts on Smackdown for this week. Last week, Undertaker won a shot at the WWE Title when he won a triple threat match against The Big Show and Brock Lesnar. I doubt he will come away with the title tonight because there hasn’t been a significant title win on a WWE television show in a long time, so I see someone interfering in the match and causing a DQ or Kurt winning clean. Damn, where has TWGTT been? Have they been relegated to Velocity?
Speaking of Velocity, I don’t know how they do it, but each and every Saturday night Doran Barbalat and Dusty Giebink do a great job of recapping the show! I’m not saying this because I write for the torch, I’m saying it because they are both truly entertaining and also do a great job in the Lounge (get back on track Sean).
Anyway, Eddie Guerrero turned in one of the most entertaining performances I have seen by a wrestler on a televised show last week. Perhaps because I was getting what I wanted to see on Smackdown I rated the show a little bit high, but hey, you can’t blame me for enjoying a good show. I have to say that since I began reviewing the show the WWE has made my life good because Smackdown has been solid week after week. So, let’s see where the drama of the McMahon’s takes us this week…
1st Quarter Hour
Show begins with a recap of last week’s main event.
Sean O’Haire, where art thou?
Cole and Tazz welcome us to the show, hyping the main event of Kurt Angle vs. Undertaker.
(1) TWGTT defeated the APA for the WWE Tag Team Titles when Benjamin pinned Bradshaw.
Faarooq takes the advantage early on Haas, but Benjamin comes in and they double team Faarooq. Ref has his back turned, but in a rare occurrence, TWGTT doesn’t take advantage. Haas tags in and takes over. Benjamin manages to sneak in a boot on Faarooq while the ref had his back turned. Haas goes to the top rope, but Faarooq reverses his splash attempt into a powerslam. Bradshaw tags in and cleans house. He even manages to use Scott Hall’s fall away slam. Give him some credit, he put some gel in his hair this week, so it’s an improvement. Faarooq tags in and hits a spinebuster, but Benjamin breaks up the pin. Faarooq tags Bradshaw in and he hits the spinebuster, but that no good Haas puts Benjamin’s leg on the rope and whacks Bradshaw in the head with the belt. Damn you Haas. Damn you to Hell! (Credit Mr. Garrison from South Park)
Grade: 1 (Below Standard) Not much to this match. TWGTT goes through the same spots every time they fight. It’s time to go and find some new moves.
Eddie is in the parking lot shining his car. Show pulls up in a limo with Mr. McMahon and Sablelicious. Brock confronts Mr. McMahon and asks him why he’s been ignoring him. It’s tough when you’re ignored by the one’s you love. Vince tells Brock that he will talk to him when he wants to. Vince talks about opportunity lost. Vince tells Brock that he tapped out. Great, I can see another stupid Shopzone T-shirt in the making. Eddie looks on and whistles as we go to commercial.
(Commercial Break)
2nd Quarter Hour
Brock and Vince are backstage. Brock says all he wants is a phone call. Vince says he doesn’t deserve one because he is disappointed. Vince says he knows who Brock really is, he’s a monster. Vince slaps Brock in the face. Brock grabs Vince, but doesn’t attack him. Vince and Brock look at each other and smile because hey, who doesn’t like a monster.
Word Life! Brock is gonna bust out some Thuganomics. Cena says he’s going to take Eddie Guerrero’s car. Cena says he has some footage of him beating the hell out of Eddie.
Highlights air of their match last week. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone slammed on a wheel before.
Cena says he was crazy last week like Madonna making out with Britney Spears. Cena says the Eddie should do what all Hispanics do, wax his car and mow his lawn. I’m sure I know why the kids are so tolerant of one another, no thanks to Mr. McMahon’s stereotyping of Guerrero’s character.
Eddie comes down in the low-rider and attacks Cena. Cena clocks Guerrero in the head with the US Title and bails. Cena gets in Guerrero’s car and steals it. Guerrero looks on in agony and screams, “Not my low-rider.” Now, now Eddie, It’s okay.
Bonus for the segment: 2 points. Guerrero and Cena have great chemistry.
(Commercial Break)
***Moment of Zen: No Steph Mcjiggles, yet!
Back from the break, we see Cena pull out into the big easy.
Eddie complains to big Steph. He tells her that Cena has taken his pride. Eddie is as red as Rick Flair is at his finest. Steph tells Eddie to name his match for next week. Eddie says he wants a Latino street fight next week! Good segment.
3rd Quarter Hour
(2) Chris Benoit defeated A-Train w/o Sablelicious via pinfall after interference by Rhyno.
A-Train begins the match by pummeling Benoit in the corner. He should grab an AB-roller if he’s going to wrestle without his shirt on. A-Train locks in a rear chin-lock. A-Train tells Benoit that he can’t beat him, but he already did last week. Even-steven booking says Benoit loses this one. A-Train hits a nice suplex and gets a near fall. A-Train locks in a bearhug as the cameras capture a lovely shot of his back hair. A-Train goes for a splash in the corner, but misses, giving Benoit the advantage. Benoit hits three German suplexes in a row on A-Train; that’s impressive. A-Train moves out of the way of a diving headbutt attempt by Benoit. A-Train hits the Trainwreck, but the ref says Benoit’s foot was under the rope and stops his count. A-Train complains that his feet were under the rope last week, but there’s no use crying over spilled milk. The ref gets knocked over and Rhyno comes in and tries to Gore Benoit, but hits A-Train instead. Benoit struggles over to A-Train and covers him for the three.
Grade: 2 (Better than last week’s match).
In a pre-taped segment, Undertaker puts Angle over verbally. Taker says that could break his ankle and he wouldn’t tap. Taker says he is going to show Angle a submission hold. If that doesn’t work, Taker will use a chokeslam, tombstone, or maybe even a last ride. Taker tells Kurt that he’s coming for him. I don’t know about you, but I’m scared. If I knew Taker was coming for me I’m sure Johnny Ace would tell me I’d be looking up at the lights at the end.
Bonus: 1 point.
Grade: 2 (Nearing the standard). Short, but good match.
(Commercial Break)
Nidia stuffs her bikini top and does her awkward dance. Torrie tries to show her how to look sexy. Nidia oils Torrie up and they both smile as Nidia’s hands reach lower.
Bonus: 1 point. Torrie and Nidia make a lovely couple.
The Bourbon Street Bikini match will be shone later tonight! “Oh my”, as my friend Kevin would say.
A pre-taped segment with Kurt Angle airs. Blah, Blah Blah. Angle says he’s leaving New Orleans as the WWE Champion.
Vince is in front of Steph’s office. He tells Steph she can have it back in a few minutes. Vince says that Brock Lesnar is taking care of some business. Show has some funny facial expressions as he holds the door shut and continuous thumping noises could be heard coming from inside the office.
(Commercial Break)
4th Quarter Hour
Undertaker and Kurt Angle make their way down to the ring!
(3) Kurt Angle defeated The Undertaker for the WWE Title via DQ when Brock Lesnar interfered.
Angle starts out with a front face lock and the two men exchange holds. Tazz describes it as a feeling out period. Angle executes a nice headlock takedown, but Taker sends him off the ropes and gives him a hip-toss. Taker drops the leg on Angle and applies a short arm-scissors. Kurt eventually reverses it into a pinfall attempt and the two men stand in opposite corners. Taker goes to work on Angle’s soldier and goes for the old school. Taker hits a “thunderous blow” across Angle’s neck. Cole mentions that it could inflame Angle’s neck surgery. Cole is really coming along as an announcer. Angle hits a couple of suplexes and goes for a third and Taker is able to stop him, but Kurt rolls him up for a two count. Taker gets up and knocks Angle down with a clothesline. Taker goes to work on Angle’s neck connecting with a couple of elbows to Kurt’s neck and following that up with a leg-drop on Angle, who was draped over the edge of the ring. Taker picks Angle up and drives his back into the ring post.
(Commercial Break)
Back from the break, Taker is still in control. He hits Angle with those powerful rights and lefts that he talked about in his pre-taped interview. Angle goes for a sleeper hold and Taker starts to fade. I haven’t seen the old arm check finish in a long time. Taker doesn’t fade enough for the ref to check his arms and suplexes Angle to break the hold. Angle hits a nice belly-to-belly suplex, after reversing a dragon-sleeper, but Taker kicks out. Taker eventually gains the advantage and nails the Snakeyes. Angle applies the anklelock, but Taker escapes. Angle ducks a clothesline and gives Taker the Olympic slam, but he kicks out. Angle measures Taker for another Olympic slam, but he ducks it and gives Kurt a chokeslam for a two count. Taker goes for the last ride, but Angle reverses it into the anklelock.
5th Quarter Hour
Both men sell the hold really well as Kurt has it cinched. Taker counters the anklelock into the arm-bar. Angle rolls Taker up for a two count and applies the anklelock again. Angle stands up and Taker wraps his legs around his neck and begins to choke him out. Angle tries to make it to the ropes. The ref checks Angle’s arms, but Angle is able to get his foot on the rope to break the hold before his arm fell for the third time. Taker gets tangled in the ropes and Angle applies the anklelock again. Angle tries to pick Taker up, but he snaps Kurt’s head on the top rope. Taker picks Angle up and gives him several right hands. Angle fights back and bounces off the ropes, but Taker nails him with another boot to the face. Taker goes for another chokeslam, but Angle rolls through into another anklelock. Kurt pumps the Taker’s ankle as Taker is left in the middle of the ring. Taker powers out and Kurt runs right into a chokeslam. Taker nails Angle with the last-ride, but Lesnar comes in and nails both men several times with a steel chair.
Grade: 3 (Achieved the standard). This was a good match, with several near-falls, but I think that there should only be so many reversals of certain holds in a match before they lose their effectiveness. That being said, this is one of the better WWE Title matches that I have seen on Smackdown in a long time.
After the match, Lesnar goes after Taker’s ankle with the steel chair and then drives it into the injured back of Kurt Angle. Lesnar grabs the WWE Title and gives bashes Angle over the head with it. The crowd chants, “You tapped out,” which makes him smile.
(Commercial Break)
6th Quarter Hour
Footage is shown of the Undertaker collapsing backstage during the break because of his injured Ankle. Taker moans liked one of those animals on the discovery channel that have just been tranquilized.
The trainers check Kurt Angle out and ask him if he can see all right after being hit in the head with the belt. Kurt replies that he is ok. I’ll sleep better now.
Highlights air of the Bourbon Street Bikini Contest from New Orleans. Holy S**t it’s Dawn Marie! Sable does a nice dance as Cole tells us the obvious, that she’s hot. Dawn Marie looks great in her purple bikini. Nidia helps Torrie into her thong. Torrie ends up winning and then Maniqua comes in and attacks them all because she wasn’t invited to the contest. Maniqua wants to prove that she is the dominant she-male in the WWE.
The APA is backstage and they are back in business. The door is back and they even have a bell now. They enter their office and Bradshaw tells Faarooq that they have a butler named Bruce that he won in a poker game. The butler lifts the top off the tray to reveal two cans of beer. Nice little segment. I always enjoyed the APA protection agency. It’s funny that Bruce the butler gets more camera time than Dawn Marie did in the last four months.
(Commercial Break)
Cole and Tazz hype the Cena-Guerrero match for next week.
I guess since Mars came into the site of Earth last week that it makes it ok for the WWE to have a Cruiserweight Title match on Smackdown. Tajiri won a number one contenders match on Velocity. Maybe I’ll have to tune in on Saturday nights!
(4) Rey Mysterio pinned Tajiri to retain the Cruiserweight Title.
Mysterio hits an incredible move where he holds the ref, who threw him off, but Mysterio turned it into a huracanrana anyway.
7th Quarter Hour
Mysterio hits another huracanrana to set Tajiri up for the 619, but Tajiri moves and boots Mysterio to the outside. At 2:32:01 Tajiri went for his handspring elbow, but Mysterio countered with a jumping leg-lariat.
(Commercial Break)
*** Questions for the next half-hour:
1) Why wasn’t the Taker-Angle match last?
2) Did anyone else think the X-Cup on NWA-TNA last night was a great idea?
3) Will the Cruiserweight Title match take us home tonight?
(Commercial Break)
Back from the break, Tajiri takes the advantage with a hammerlock. Mysterio is able to toss Tajiri through the second rope. Mysterio hits an incredible suicide dive through the second rope that had some serious hang time. Yeah, this stuff shouldn’t be on every week, Vince. Back in the ring, Tajiri meets Mysterio on the top rope and Mysterio goes for a powerbomb, but Tajiri blocked it. Tajiri then went for a kick, but missed and Mysterio dropkicked his leg. Tajiri eventually hits a stiff sounding kick for a two count. Tajiri locks in the tarantula and goes for the kick to the head, but he misses. Rey drop kicks him into the second rope and connects with the 619. Mysterio went for the West Coast Pop, but got a boot to the face. Tajiri hit a nice brain buster for a two count. Tajiri places Mysterio on the top rope and kicks him in the head. Mysterio knocks Tajiri off and nails him with an incredible looking West Coast Pop from the top rope for the pin I don’t know how Mysterio didn’t hit his head on the mat because he came through very low on the follow through of the West Coast Pop.
Grade: 3 (Achieved the standard). I can’t believe the WWE doesn’t showcase a match like this every week. These two are real pros in the ring.
After the match, Mysterio went to shake Tajiri’s hand, but was instead greeted with the green mist.
(Commercial Break)
8th Quarter Hour
We get a look behind the scenes of The Rundown with The Rock.
Vince and Show are on their way to the ring. Vince is really funny when he struts around the ring. His son should get on his training program. Vince says if the people keep calling the Show an asshole, he will beat their ass. Vince says that two weeks from tonight Angle will defend his title against the new number one contender, Brock Lesnar. Holy s**t. It’s going to be a one hour iron man match! I can’t believe this! I can’t believe the WWE is doing this! (Picture me marking out in front of my Trinitron)
Vince is looking for Brock, who is in a skybox. Vince asks him what he was doing in Steph’s office. Brock thanks Vince for reminding him who he really is. Brock says he proved it when he took care of Kurt Angle and The Undertaker. Brock tells someone to sit down. Brock says that a certain someone had to be here today or he would be fired. Brock gets up and he was sitting on Zach Gowen, who has his mouth taped. Brock asks Zach how his leg is doing. Vince says that he can see Zach has a special wheelchair. Brock puts Zach in a headlock and says that it’s a jet-powered wheelchair. Brock says he has to leave because he has some business to attend to. Vince asks Brock if this is the night Zach will regret signing his WWE contract. Brock says yes and takes off with Zach.
We see Brock wheeling Zach around a set of stairs. Brock tells Zach to stop struggling. Zach can’t talk because his mouth is taped. Brock says that Vince wants to see the monster in him and throws Zach out of his chair to the floor. Brock tells Zach he is going to give him a chance to get away. Brock steps on Zach’s broken leg and asks him how it is. Lesnar asks Zach what he’s feeling right now. Brock says he’s angry. He says that Vince wants him to be the monster. Lesnar stomps his leg again and says, “Vince wants to see a monster.” We get a shot of Vince looking at the Tron, interested and yet concerned all at the same time. Brock tells Zach that the wheelchair is magical because it flies.
Brock puts Zach in the chair and says that Zach messed with the wrong human being. Brock chokes Zach out so that in his words, he doesn’t have to feel it. Vince tells Brock to take it easy, but Lesnar shoves Zach all the way down the stairs. Brock laughs maniacally like he just won a really cheap bet to end the show.
Bonus: 3 points. This was a great final segment.
FINAL THOUGHTS…
I can’t believe the lengths the WWE is willing to go to put Lesnar over as a heel. The final segment was incredible. Brock’s mannerisms and facial expressions put him over as someone who is truly a monster and not a “manster.” It was nice to see the WWE take my suggestion of having one of the brands putting on a PPV quality match when they do not have a PPV during a particular month. I still can’t believe they are going to have an iron man match with Angle-Lesnar for the WWE Title. There has to be some kind of bait and switch involved here… Brock has really come along in the last two weeks. He is showing signs of having the potential of being a better heel than Triple H was at his peak (I hope Triple H doesn’t read this and order that Brock’s push get scaled back)… The final segment made me forget what happened during the rest of the show, which shows how intense Lesnar was in his role. It was also great to see the evil Vince McMahon look disturbed by someone else’s actions, which is rare…If the WWE combines segments like the final one with excellent matches from the Cruiserweight division than I think they are going to find themselves with a successful formula that will translate into improved ratings…Smackdown had something for everyone who likes wrestling tonight, which is something that I haven’t seen a WWE television show accomplish in a long time.
Drum roll please…
There were four matches for a total of 16 available points to be had for Smackdown this week. Smackdown scored a 15, giving it an A-. This was a good show with something for everyone to enjoy.
***Two weeks until the iron man match!
RECOMMENDED NEXT: 20 YRS AGO – WWE Live Event Report (8-30-2003): Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle vs. Brock Lesnar, plus Vince McMahon and Sable, APA, Hardy, Rey, more
OR CHECK THIS OUT AT PROWRESTLING.NET: WWE Superstar Spectacle in India results (9/8): John Cena and Seth Rollins vs. Ludwig Kaiser and Giovanni Vinci, Gunther vs. Shanky for the Intercontinental Title, Great Khali appears, Bron Breakker vs. Odyssey Jones
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