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The following report was originally published on PWTorch.com ten years ago this week…
WWE Smackdown review
July 26, 2013
Taped 7/24/13 in Corpus Christi, TX
Aired on SyFy
By Greg Parks, PWTorch Columnist
– WWE Open.
– Smackdown Open.
– Randy Orton’s music played in the arena to bring him out, briefcase in hand. During his entrance, Michael Cole and JBL were shown on-camera. As Orton’s opponent, Damien Sandow, came to the ring, he cut a promo, calling the crowd “half-wits.”He referred to himself as the “uncrowned World Champion.” He continued making fun of the fans and repeated the nickname he gave himself. And that was it.
1 – RANDY ORTON vs. DAMIEN SANDOW
JBL said with all the briefcases out there, “it looks like a Cauliflower Alley Club.” Back elbow caught Sandow, who rolled to the corner. The crowd was hot for Orton right off the bat. Or perhaps it was the audio sweetener. Sandow worked a long side head-lock. Orton connected on a series of clotheslines in the corner. Standing suplex led to a cover for two at 2:16. Orton missed a leaping knee-drop, and Sandow capitalized. Orton ole’d Sandow out of the ring over the top rope. Orton dropped Sandow spine-first across the barricade. Back in the ring, Sandow delivered a number of shoulders to Orton’s mid-section. Sandow was still in control when they went to break at 5:32 of the match.
[Commercial Break]
Back at 8:56 of the match. Orton took over during the break, and they showed him hitting his standing dropkick on the WWE App during the commercial. Sandow hung Orton out to dry, gut-first over the top rope. Sandow applied a body-scissors in the middle of the ring. After driving his knee into Orton’s mid-section, he hit a side Russian leg-sweep then the Elbow of Disdain for two at 11:33. Back to the body-scissors. Orton broke out of it by peppering Sandow with right hands. Orton began his comeback just over 13:00 in, with clotheslines and a powerslam. As Orton went for his rope-assisted DDT, Cody Rhodes came to ringside. Sandow back-dropped Orton to ringside. Rhodes retrieved Sandow’s briefcase, which garnered Sandow’s attention. As this occurred, Orton snuck in and RKO’d Sandow for the win.
WINNER: Orton, at 14:25. I wonder if, given the four TV tapings in four days this past week, this Smackdown and next week’s will be particularly heavy on the in-ring action, which usually happens when there are a number of back-to-back tapings.
The finish was replayed. Rhodes continued to taunt Sandow with the briefcase. He took it backstage with him as his music played and as Sandow recovered in the ring.
– C.M. Punk was walking backstage. He’ll address the WWE Universe (Cole called the Universe “WWE fans,” which I’m sure he got chewed out for) next.
[Commercial Break]
– C.M. Punk came to the ring. As he did so, they showed Brock Lesnar’s attack on him two weeks ago on Raw. Cole said Punk suffered strained ligaments in his knee and ankle, as well as possibly broken ribs. Punk had a microphone and said he got what he wanted – The Best vs. The Beast. He said he didn’t, in fact, fall into Paul Heyman’s trap like some are saying. He talked about Heyman being his mentor and teacher, how he learned about being the dirtiest player in the game from him. He said he’s going to use what he learned from Heyman against Lesnar at Summerslam. Punk said Brock’s biggest weakness used to be his biggest weakness: The fact that he trusts Paul Heyman. And Heyman’s biggest weakness? His ego. Punk said Heyman wanted to latch onto Punk to show how “smart” he was. Punk said he’s going to handle everything Lesnar has to offer, then he’s going to kick him in the face over and over until he’s an unrecognizable pile of failure. Punk was interrupted by Fandango’s theme and Summer Rae dancing. Fandango soon followed suit.
Cole said Punk was obsessed about the fact that Heyman stabbed him in the back. As Fandango hopped into the ring, Punk attacked him. He hit the Go To Sleep on Fandango, which Fandango sold fantastically. Summer Rae checked on Fandango at ringside as they replayed the GTS. That was a little strange, but I guess WWE wanted Punk to show some physicality after the Lesnar attack.
– Tonight, the Wyatt Family debut on Smackdown.
[Commercial Break]
– The hiccupping 1-800-FELLA video aired.
– Wade Barrett and the Prime Time Players were in the ring for six-man tag action.
2 – WADE BARRETT & THE PRIME TIME PLAYERS vs. MARK HENRY & THE USOS
After the Usos came out, they showed them saving Mark Henry from The Shield’s attack on Raw. Cole announced that the Usos and Henry would take on The Shield on Raw this coming week. Darren Young started the match with Jey Uso. Jey took Young down with a forearm and a chop. Jimmy came in and worked over Young. A distraction by Barrett allowed Titus O’Neil to kick Jimmy in the face while the ref wasn’t looking. Barrett then tagged in and hit a short-arm clothesline. The heels worked over Jimmy Uso. Titus caught Jimmy on a cross-body attempt and just tossed him over his head. Jimmy, though, came back with a kick to the back of the head. He tagged Henry at 2:53. Henry clobbered O’Neil and Young. Barrett broke up a pin and all hell broke loose. In the end, Henry gave the World’s Strongest Slam to O’Neil for the pinfall.
WINNERS: The Usos and Henry, at 3:28. I can’t believe WWE hasn’t done a storyline where the Usos date the Bellas, and confusion (and hijinks!) ensues. As for the match, a good preview for Monday night’s showdown.
– A.J. is going to update the WWE Universe on her state of mind, plus deliver a message to Dolph Ziggler, later tonight.
– Also tonight, Alberto Del Rio vs. Rob Van Dam.
[Commercial Break]
– Cole and JBL talked about the double main-event slated for Raw this Monday. It’ll be Daniel Bryan vs. Kane and John Cena vs. Ryback in a Tables Match.
– Vickie Guerrero was (surprise!) on the phone backstage. She told the person on the other line that Teddy Long got what he deserved. Alberto Del Rio walked in and congratulated Vickie on her new position. Del Rio said Vickie owes her for putting him in a match with RVD tonight. HE said since Brad Maddox allowed WWE Champion John Cena to choose his opponent for Summerslam, he deserves the same opportunity. Vickie said she’d give ADR one week to think about it. I think she meant to agree with ADR and gave him a week to come up with an opponent, but they could’ve made it clearer. RVD walked in and said he should get a title shot. Del Rio said RVD needs to prove himself. RVD said he’d do it by beating Del Rio tonight.
– Damien Sandow was looking for Cody Rhodes backstage. He appeared to have showered and was dressed pretty nicely. He asked Sin Cara if he’d seen Rhodes, along with other random folks, but no one knew where he was.
– RVD came out for his match with Del Rio. It’s next.
[Commercial Break]
3 – ROB VAN DAM vs. ALBERTO DEL RIO
RVD was the aggressor to start, with kicks and punches. Del Rio fled the ring to avoid more punishment. Del Rio took his time re-grouping. JBL said if he’d gotten the choice of who to defend his title against, he would’ve fought Barry Horowitz every month. Back in the ring, Del Rio covered up in the corner and shouted “no mas!” The ref asked if he wanted to quit, but I guess there was somewhat of a language barrier there. As the ref held RVD back, Del Rio kicked Van Dam in the head and pinned him.
WINNER: Del Rio, at 2:30. That was an odd finish, particularly at that time of the match. I guess it was to get over what a dastardly heel Del Rio is.
The finish was replayed twice. The announcers reacted to what just happened, then Cole (and a video) recapped what happened at the end of the Sandow vs. Orton match earlier in the show.
– Sandow was still looking for Cody backstage, and insulting all the minions who hadn’t seen him. Mark Henry and Booker T. were talking backstage when Sandow came upon them. He was much more polite with them. Henry said he wasn’t a snitch, and both he and Booker denied seeing him. Henry said Cody was a thief and Booker said he can’t stand thieves. Sandow slipped up and called Booker the General Manager… “at least, you used to be.” Booker was upset, but Henry held him back as Sandow continued his journey.
– A.J. came out with Big E. Langston. Her state of mind address is next.
[Commercial Break]
– In the ring, A.J. Lee said she was out to clear the air. She called Dolph Ziggler a “heartless, cold-blooded, selfish jerk.” She was already losing it. But she did manage to compose herself, saying she was fine and despite losing her boyfriend and best friend, she’s still Diva’s Champion, and the title is never leaving her. A.J. took out a set of keys (with a tiny shoe keychain) and said they were keys to Ziggler’s home. She said she was going to use them to break in and burn everything to the ground. But now, she’s ready to let go of them. Before she could get where she was going with that, Ziggler’s music interrupted.
Ziggler laughed and said he’s passed out hundreds or thousands of those before. He said the locks of been changed a couple times “since you.” “Aww, puddin’,” said A.J. She said Ziggler has never been the smart one in the relationship, then pulled out his suitcase. Ziggler was amused that A.J. decided to steal from him. He said everything in the ring (A.J., Langston, the suitcase) is totally replaceable. A.J. dug into the suitcase and pulled out scissors, then a wallet. She cut up Dolph’s driver’s license. “A day at the DMV would be like a picnic compared to anything with you,” said Ziggler. He wasn’t bummed by this at all. A.J. then pulled out his passport and cut it up. Ziggler again didn’t seem put off by this. A.J. ripped up the cash in Dolph’s wallet as he continued to make jokes. She cut up his credit cards and A.J. was getting frustrated that Ziggler was no-selling her destruction. “You are psycho” chants by the crowd at A.J.
She went further into the suitcase and pulled out lots of clothing (and lots of pink) and started throwing it around. A.J. pulled out one of her own shirts, which Dolph said he uses to clean up his kneepads at night. That was not what she wanted to hear. She started going crazy in the ring, throwing stuff around as Langston tried to calm her down. A.J. kept pushing Langston away, then A.J. left the ring. As she did, Ziggler casually said, “hey babe, watch out.” Next thing you know, Kaitlyn sprinted from out of nowhere and speared A.J. Ziggler then came to ringside and gave Langston the fameasser. Ziggler seemed really comfortable riffing on A.J., though it was from the John Cena School of No-Selling Everything.
– Tonight, Christian takes on Jack Swagger.
– But next, The Wyatt Family make their in-ring debut.
[Commercial Break]
– The Raw Rebound aired.
– A graphic aired for John Cena vs. Daniel Bryan for the WWE Title at Summerslam.
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4 – TONS OF FUNK vs. THE WYATT FAMILY
It was Luke Harper and Erick Rowan in tag action here, with Bray Wyatt watching in his ever-present rocking chair. Rowan wore the sheep mask as he awaited a tag from Harper. Sweet T took Harper down and Rowan broke up a tag. Rowan dragged Sweet T by the mouth over to the corner. Big splash in the corner by Harper. A clothesline put Sweet T down. Splash by Rowan for the win.
WINNERS: Rowan and Harper, at 1:05. Not surprised it was short so short. No reason to go any longer at this point.
Wyatt entered the ring while Harper and Rowan held Sweet T. Wyatt gave T his finisher after kissing him on the forehead. Wyatt then got the mic and addressed Kane, saying he thinks Kane will be looking for him. He said he’s never been too hard to find. He said he’d be here with all of his friends. He said he’s been waiting for Kane and has always been waiting for him. “Look to the sky and follow the buzzards,” he said.
[Commercial Break]
– Vickie Guerrero was backstage, this time texting rather than on a phone call. Damien Sandow barged in, angry that no one has seen Rhodes. Vickie said she hadn’t seen him either, but she did contact the authorities. Sandow said he didn’t have time and that he’s going to find the briefcase himself, tonight.
– Christian came to the ring for a match. Then Zeb Colter and Jack Swagger did the same. Colter, on the mic, asked if they were in Texas or Northern Mexico. He said we need to stop “these people” from sneaking across our borders. He talked about being complimented by a man at a service station for his beliefs. He said Christian has overstayed his welcome. Colter asked the fans to repeat his “we the people” phrase.
5 – CHRISTIAN vs. JACK SWAGGER
Swagger suplex Christian down then did push-ups on his back. What a cad. Christian tried a roll-up, but Swagger grabbed him and threw him into the corner. Swagger then bowled him over with a shoulder tackle. Christian back-dropped Swagger to ringside, and Swagger came up holding his forearm. Christian propelled himself over the top and onto Swagger. Christian went to the top rope, but Swagger tossed him down. Once again, like Sheamus with Alberto Del Rio’s car last year, Cole refused to say that the babyface Rhodes “stole” Sandow’s briefcase, despite it being obvious to anyone (including JBL, who has called Cole out on it all show) that Rhodes did in fact steal the briefcase. Anyway, this match went to break just over two minutes in.
[Commercial Break]
Back at 5:43 of the match. Swagger controlled things during the break, but Christian took over with a flip kick. Middle-rope dropkick felled Swagger. Christian continued his offense and again went to the top rope, but Swagger dodged a cross-body. He grabbed Christian for a gutwrench suplex, but the two exchanged a number of reversals before Christian hit an inverted DDT for two. Christian side-stepped a Swagger charge and Christian hit an elbow off the middle rope. Cole recapped what happened on the show to this point. It’s a nice touch the announcers have been doing more often. Christian got his feet up on a Swagger bomb and went for a sunset flip for two. Swagger immediately grabbed the ankle of Christian and applied an ankle-lock. Christian rolled out and sent Swagger shoulder-first into the post. Killswtich found the mark and he picked up the win.
WINNER: Christian at 8:36.
Before Christian could celebrate too much, Damien Sandow power-walked to the ring. He said he had no business with Christian and grabbed a mic. He demanded that Rhodes be arrested for grand larceny. He also demanded that Vickie fire Cody Rhodes. As Sandow continued to huff and puff, Rhodes showed up on the Titan Tron. He was outdoors…near the Gulf of Mexico, in fact. He had the briefcase and told Sandow he’ll hand it to him as long as Sandow comes to get it. Sandow exited the ring and charged up the ramp. They picked up with Sandow backstage, then took a break.
[Commercial Break]
Sandow was still charging through the backstage area, finally reaching the exit of the arena. “Go get’em Damien!” shouted someone. Sandow weaved through traffic, crossed the street, and spotted Cody. From a distance, he shouted for Cody to stop. Cody said he didn’t do anything and doesn’t understand. Sandow carefully approached Rhodes and reminded him they were best friends. He said Rhodes carried him and was the leader of the team. He also said Cody was smarter than him. Cody was reveling in this. He also said Cody has better facial hair and was more handsome than he. Rhodes said he earned the briefcase. As Sandow made a move toward it, Cody tossed it into the Gulf. Cody told Sandow that he hopes the briefcase can float. Sandow shouted for help as Rhodes walked away. Sandow said he couldn’t swim and continued shouting for help. He dove into the water and flailed around a bit. He reached a ladder and pulled himself out of the water. He laid on the shore as Cody tossing the briefcase into the water was replayed in slow-motion. They also replayed Sandow’s leap into the Gulf. Sandow lay in agony as the show went off the air.
Did you watch Friday’s Smackdown episode? Send your 0-10 score & Reax to pwtorch@gmail.com for our TV Reax feature.
(Greg Parks has been covering WWE Smackdown for PWTorch.com since January of 2007. Follow him on Twitter @gregmparks for live Tweeting during Raw, Impact, and PPVs, as well as other bits of wisdom.)
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