SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
AEW COLLISION REPORT
JUNE 17, 2023
CHICAGO, ILL. AT UNITED CENTER
AIRED ON TNT
Commentators: Kevin Kelly, Nigel McGuinness
Ring Announcer: Dasha Gonzalez
[HOUR ONE]
-The opening theme aired for Collision featuring Elton John’s “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting.” The theme began with C.M. Punk and then Samoa Joe, Willow, Wardlow, Andrade, Buddy Matthews, The Acclaimed, Orange Cassidy, House of Black, Bryan Danielson, Ricky Starks, Danny Garcia, Jay White, Sting, Britt Baker, Darby Allin, Toni Storm, and MJF among others. No Young Bucks, Kenny Omega, Chris Jericho, or Jon Moxley.
(Keller’s Analysis: Okay, big thumbs up for Elton John as the opening theme for this show! Not only am I big Elton John fan, especially his earliest work in the 1970s, but that was the theme to Mick Karch’s block of pro wrestling shows called “Saturday Night at Ringside” in the Minneapolis/St. Paul market in the late 1980s.)
-They went to a wide shot of the crowd as Kevin Kelly introduced the show. Fans were chanting “C.M. Punk!”
-C.M. Punk made his entrance to “Cult of Personality” and was greeted by a big roar from the crowd. He had high top basketball shoes tied together and hanging over his neck with a red nap-sack. The closer he got to the ring, the louder the chants for Punk got. His music faded and the Punk chants rang out. His hair was shaved very short, by the way.
“I don’t know if you guys heard, but I’m tired of being nice,” he said. He talked about recovering from a ruptured tricep tendon after it was torn straight off the bone. He said he’s still there. He said this is the professional wrestling business, stressing “business.” He said it’s a business of grownup. “This has never been a popularity contest,” he said. “We all know I probably would have lost that a long time ago.” He said he wanted to have a conversation about the future, but first he wanted to talk about his past. “Which I don’t think is checkered,” he said. He said his 15 year old self wouldn’t have believed he would sell out major arenas around the world including every arena in Chicago with a roof.
He said he’s tired of being nice. “Tell me when I’m tellin’ lies,” he said. He said he did all those things and he rode a wave on the backs of “smart, passionate wrestling fans like you.” He said he loves the fans because they love him and he’s never fit in better anywhere else. He said they love him because he has never apologized. “I am me,” he said. “And I couldn’t have done all of this without all of you.” He said it seems there are some people who hate him for the same reasons the fans love him. Boos rang out. “I understand that the sheer magnitude of me makes people uncomfortable,” he said. “I very much understand that my mere presence makes people uncomfortable. That’s because I am the truth and the truth is painful.” Fans chanted “F— Elite! F— Elite!”
He pointed at fan signs that said: “C.M. Punk is my hero,” “Pepsi Phil,” “C.M. Junk.” He said you can boo him, cheer him, love him, hate him. “You all do it because you know I’m right,” he said. He said he’s the one true article in a business full of counterfeit bucks. A loud “C.M. Punk!” chant rang out. “The king is back and I do have a lot of things to get off my chest.” He paused, and then said, “Why would I change?” He said he will always speak truth to power and he will always be himself and he will never compromise. He said there are people who think they are owed an apology. He said sometimes it’s better to be the bigger man. He said if you feel he’s owed an apology, “I’m sorry, the only people softer than you are the wrestlers you like. Tell me when I’m tellin’ lies.” Another “C.M. Punk!” chant rang out.
He said the last time they saw him, he held what is in the bag above his head. He said it’s his because he earned it. He said it’s not his because he had the best dog collar match, it’s his because he won the dog collar match. He said it belongs to him until someone can pin him or submit him for it. He dropped it to the mat. He held the shoes and said some hoped he’d lay it in the ring and ride off into the sunset. He said until someone can fill those boots, they belong on his feet. “Tell me when I’m tellin’ lies,” he said. He stared at the hard camera as his music began again.
Kelly said, “Damn, son.” He said what’s in that bag is a prize more valuable than gold because of what it represents. He hyped the six-man tag team match. Punk paused on the stage and yelled, “I didn’t come here to be a star; I am a star.”
(Keller’s Analysis: I liked that a lot. I think that’s probably closer to the Punk that fans were hoping for when he made his return to pro wrestling for AEW initially. No hedging whether he’s still got it or saying here’s there to be happy again and work with younger wrestlers and give back. That was a leaning-forward, brash, unapologetic, charismatic, confident star. As for not owing anyone apologies, that’s up for debate, although in that ESPN interview on Friday he said he did apologize to Tony Khan. That said, the line about the only people weaker than the fans who want an apology are the wrestlers who they cheer was gold. I wonder if the crowd response had been any different if he would have gone another direction? That didn’t come across as building a feud against The Elite as much asserting himself as the top star in AEW who’s not taking a backseat or backing down from his feelings about those behind the scenes he can’t share a locker room with.)
-A video package previewed the Wardlow vs. Luchasaurus match.
-They went briefly to Kelly and Nigel were announcing from ringside.
(Keller’s Analysis: I think it’s a very good move to have a completely different announce team than from Dynamite, and they picked a great conbo with Kelly and Nigel. It wasn’t widely known Kelly and Nigel would be the announce team, by the way. There was talk of Jim Ross being part or the announce team in recent weeks to give him an upgraded profile from Rampage, but it looks like they’ve settled on a two-man team, which is a nice change from AEW’s penchant for a crowded booth typically. It also gives Collision a fresh sound and perspective that sets it apart.)
(1) WARDLOW vs. LUCHASAURUS (w/Christian Cage) – TNT Title match
The bell rang 16 minutes into the hour. Wardlow hit Luchasaurus with a high dropkick in the opening seconds. Luchasaurus rolled to the floor. Christian consoled him. Wardlow went after him. When Christian tried to hide under the ring, Wardlow grabbed his boots. Lucahasaurus went after Wardlow to save Christian. Christian grabbed at Wardlow’s boot when he stood on the ring apron. Luchasaurus then knocked him off the ring apron. They cut to a break at 3:00 with Luchasaurus flexing for the hard cam. [c/ss]
Luchasaurus settled into a head vice mid-ring during the break. They showed a wide angle of the arena. Wardlow lifted Luchasaurus and dropped backwards. When Kelly said Arn Anderson couldn’t be there for Wardlow, Nigel said Anderson had it coming after he bit off Luchasaurus’s thumb. Wardlow landed a spinebuster at 7:00. Wardlow had a bloody lower lip. When he climbed to the top rope, Luchasaurus knocked him off balance.
At 10:00 Wardlow made a comeback and landed a top rope swanton splash. Christian stood on the ring apron which got Wardlow attention. He walked over toward Christian. Luchasaurus came after Wardlow, but Wardlow side-stepped him. Christian then hit Wardlow with a camera he took from a ringside photographer. Luchasaurus clotheslined him from behind and then pinned him.
WINNER: Luchasaurus in 11:00 to capture the TNT Title.
(Keller’s Analysis: I can see Tony Khan wanting a title change on the first episode of Collision. This can make Luchasaurus feel more relevant and give Wardlow a chance at a rematch but also perhaps move on to other things. The match a clunky big-man match.)
-Lexi Nair interviewed Q.T. Marshall and Powerhouse Hobbs backstage. Marshall said they never said Hobbs would wrestle on Collision, but he is there. He said HJobbs will be win the Owen Hart Tournament. Hobbs said his name was front and center when the press release dropped about Collision. He said he is the face of TNT and the Book of Hobbs is about redemption and winning the Owen tournament. Marshall accused Lexi of pissing off Hobbs.
-Kelly hyped the return of Miro later.
-A commercial aired for Dynamite advertising next week’s line-up. [c]
-Kelly threw to a replay of the finish of the TNT Title match.
(2) ANDRADE EL IDOLO vs. BUDDY MATTHEWS (w/Julia Hart)
Matthews and Hart came out first. Nigel said Matthews is more dangerous than ever under the tutelage of Malakai Black. When Andrade came out, the graphic said he was making his 2023 debut. Fans chanted “Welcome back!” to Andrade. Kelly said it’s his first match in 286 days in AEW. The bell rang 36 minutes into the hour. Kelly noted that Andrade has put on muscle after suffering an injury to create more strength and padding. Nigel said being injured can get in your head, as he’s been through that. Buddy threw Andrade into the ropes, but Andrade landed on the middle rope and struck a pose. They brawled at ringside. Andrade warned Hart not to touch his mask. Andrade landed a cartwheel moonsault off the ring apron onto Matthews. Matthews flexed his left hand after a flat back bump earlier and flexed his hand again after that. Matthews tossed Andrade into the time keeper’s area. Andrade recovered and slammed Buddy’s face into the table. Andrade leaped off the ringside barricade and head scissored Matthews into the barricade.
Back in the ring, Andrade went for a cover and scored a two count. Matthews held the back of his neck and then rolled to the ring apron. When Andrade climbed to the top rope, Matthews knocked him down. Matthews leaped off the top rope with double knees, landing on Andrade’s left shoulder for a two count. Matthews cluthced his left knee and banged the mat in frustration. They cut to a partial split-screen break with Andrade bursing his shoulder and Matthews unable to stand on his left leg. Kelly said he might’ve reinjured his knee. [c/pss]
Matthews tried to stand and couldn’t. He was clearly frustrated as trainers entered the ring to check on Andrade’s left arm and Matthews’ knee. Andrade stood and called for Matthews to stand. Mattahews and Andrade met mid-ring and exchanged rapid-fire strikes. Andrade kicked Matthews in the leg and then pointed at his head as if he was smart to go after Matthews’ weak point.
Back from the break, Matthews was back on his feet, but favoring his knee as he kicked Andrade. Andrade gave Matthews two dragon screw leg whips. Andrade kipped up a minute later and landed a double moonsault for a two count at 9:00. Matthews sat up, but continued to clutch his left knee. Andrade set up a DDT, but Matthews blocked it and gave Andrade a draping DDT instead for a near fall. He held his own left knee during the cover. Nigel said he couldn’t get enough weight on his shoulders. Matthews countered an Andrade superplex attempt with a top rope sunset flip, but his leg gave out and he landed on the mat with a thud. Matthews superkicked Andrade who was lying on the corner turnbuckles.
Andrade made a comeback and played to the crowd, but Matthews caught him with a leaping kick as he charged and draped his arm over him for a near fall. Matthews set up standing leglock. Fans began a “This is awesome!” chant. Andrade countered and applied a figure-four. Matthews reached for the bottom rope, but when Andrade bridged into a Figure-Eight in the style of Charlotte Flair, Matthews tapped out. Kelly said it appears Andrade has learned from someone close to home.
WINNER: Andrade in 13:00.
-After the match, Andrade tried to help Matthews up, but Matthews shoved him. Andrade tried again with a handshake offer. Matthews stood on his own and walkedover to Andrade, but then the lights went out. When they came back on, Malakai Black was sitting in the corner of the ring and then Brody King clotheslined Andrade.
(Keller’s Analysis: Can fans start chanting “This is stupid!” every time the lights go out now. It’s so overdone. The match itself was built around pretending to have legitimately reinjured thesmelves, but that kind of stunt just takes people out of the match, I’d argue, because they just start feeling bad for the wrestlers instead of enjoying the story being told.)
-A vignette aired on Scorpio Sky who said he’s been watching and waiting for the perfect opportunity to return. He said he is the present and future of AEW. He said nobody can beat him because he’s on another level. [c]
-Back from the break, Tony Nese and “Smart” Mark Sterling were in the ring. Nese said he’s a personal trainer and it makes him sick to look at the disgusting, out of shape fans. He said he has decided to shut Collision down. Kelly gasped, “What!?” (Gullible!) He said he’s going to lead everyone in group training, so put the deep dish down. He said New York pizza is better. He began to lead a stretch, but then Miro’s music played. Kelly said, “Thank god, we’ve all been redeemed!”
(Keller’s Analysis: Absolutely nobody in the world watching thought Nese was going to shut Collision down, so Kelly shouldn’t react like he was concerned about it for real. It just makes him seem like a dope or that he’s trying to con the audience into believing something that is obviously an empty threat from a comedy heel jobber.)
(3) MIRO vs. TONY NESE (w/”Smart” Mark Sterling)
The bell rang 58 minutes into the hour. Nese bailed out early and did jumping jacks. Miro chased him down at ringside and threw him back into the ring. [c]
Miro overhead tossed Nese and then signaled for his finisher. Sterling jumped onto the ring apron, so Miro turned his attention to him. (That’s two out of three matches that’s happened.) Miro grabbed him and punched him. Nese kneed Miro from behind and landed a spinning hook kick to Miro’s head. Miro no-sold it and then delivered a uranage. He stomped the mat and then landed a Machka Kick. Miro played to the crowd. Kelly said, “It’s almost as if Miro has been waiting for AEW Collision.” Miro stomped Nese and then applied a camel clutch for the win.
WINNER: Miro in 3:30.
(Keller’s Analysis: Miro looked like a star. That’s a good role for Nese.)
-Kelly said Punk returns tonight in their main event. The video package aired on Punk being out with an injury and how it was more mentally trying than physically trying. Kelly said you get goosebumps just thinking about Punk’s return.
(4) TONI STORM & RUBY SOHO vs. WILLOW NIGHTINGALE & SKYE BLUE
Blue hugged her mother at ringside. Soho and Storm attacked Nightingale and Blue from behind before the bell. They beat them up at ringside. Storm shoved Blue’s mom. She slapped her back and then slapped Soho. Nightingale then checked Soho hard into the barricade. Like, really hard. The ref immediately checked on her.
Once Soho and Nightingale entered the ring, the ref called for the bell six minutes into the hour. They cut to a partial split-screen break at 2:00. [c/pss]
Nightingale and Soho hot-tagged out to their partners after the break. Blue went after Storm aggressively and head scissored her to the mat. She followed with a round kick to the head and let out some yells. Blue landed a top rope bodypress and made a cover. Storm broke up the cover. Storm came back with a sharpshooter mid-ring. Blue crawled over and reached the bottom rope to force a break. Willow tagged in and took control against Storm. When Blue tagged back in, Storm took instant control with a back suplex. Storm then charged with a hip attack. As Storm was about to spray Blue with spray paint, Nightingale intervened and the spray got in Soho’s eyes. Nightingale threw the spray can into the crowd and then drove Storm’s into the mat with Death Valley Driver. Blue then landed her finisher on Soho for the win. They showed Blue’s mom applauding from the front row.
WINNERS: Blue & Nightingale in 8:00.
-Kelly threw to a video package where Ricky Starks declared himself entered in the Owen Hart Cup Tournament. Clips aired of Owen Hart in Japan. He said the tournament is “absolutely meant for me.”
-Kelly plugged the six-man tag main event and then said The Acclaimed would be up after the break. [c]
-A video package aired, narrated by Jeff Jarrett, who said the match was made featuring Jarrett vs. Mark Briscoe and a concession stand brawl 46 years to the day since the original concession stand brawl in Tupelo, Miss. He said it put hardcore wrestling on the map. Jarrett said he plays the long game and the last outlet never loses. He said he’s kicking Briscoe’s ass.
-Tony Schiavone stood mid-ring and introduced The Acclaimed. Max Caster and Anthony Bowens came out with Billy Gunn. Caster rapped about how they stole more hearts than Trump stole documents. Bowens yelled that they have arrived and added, “Scissor me, Daddy Ass!” Schiavone told Gunn that he looks marvelous. He was wearing a pink outfit with scissors on it and “Daddy Ass” on the back. He asked what everyone was wearing. He said they’re about to get back on track and go after the Trios Titles. Bowens said they’re going to have plenty of time to do that because AEW now stands for two different things: Acclaimed Every Wednesday and Acclaimed Every Weekend. He said since they love the fans so much, they’re going to stick around for Dynamite too. He said they wanted to make history with the first-ever Collision scissor. He said he figured he’d do it in the scissors city of Chicago. He said it’s the city that made The Acclaimed the People’s Choice. He closed with, “Everyone loves The Acclaimed.” Schiavone joined in a mid-ring scissors with Acclaimed and Gunn. Fans stood and cheered.
-Kelly plugged Chris Jericho & Sammy Guevara & Minoru Suzuki vs. Action Andretti & A.R. Fox & Darius Martin. A clip aired from Ring of Honor of Andretti & Fox & Martin winning a match. Also, Orange Cassidy & Katsuyori Shibata vs. Daniel Garcia & Zack Sabre Jr., The Hardys vs. The Gunns, Stor vs. Taya Valkyrie, and Jarrett vs. Briscoe. Also, Tony Khan would announce the Blind Eliminator Tag Team Tournament with a tag team title shot on the line. Kelly and Nigel then plugged Forbidden Door line-up too. [c]
(5) JAY WHITE & JUICE ROBINSON & SAMOA JOE vs. C.M. PUNK & FTR (Cash Wheeler & Dax Harwood)
Ross joined in on commentary for the main event. Kelly said his right eye looks rough and Ross said he’s getting older and he’s getting clumsier. Ross sounded hoarse, but enthusiastic and excited. Ross said FTR are a combination of The Midnight Express and Arn Anderson & Tully Blanchard. Punk joined FTR on the stage and made his way to the ring. Kelly said the balance of the broadcast has been giving to the main event. Kelly wondered if Punk has ring rust. He said critics say he might never be the same. Nigel said it doesn’t matter what the critics say. He said it only matters what Punk feels inside. A loud “C.M. Punk!” chant broke out before the bell.
The bell rang 35 minutes into the hour. Fans chanted “CMFTR!” Kelly said if the match ends quickly, they’ll have to rush to fill time with standby matches. Ross said he was feeling mesmerized by the action early. Dax got in early offense, but eventually Juice took control against him. Cash tagged in and dropkicked Juice and an interfering White. Joe stopped short of getting dropkicked. Cash pressed Juice above his head and slammed him. Dax tagged back in. Fnas were restless for Punk. Dax immediately tagged in Punk. Cash powerslammed Juice off the second rope and then Punk made the cover for a two count. (It’d have been pretty funny if Punk scored the pin there and literally the only move he did was covering Juice after someone else powerslammed him.)
Punk went for a Go To Sleep, but Juice slipped free and scurried away. Joe tagged in. Fans popped. Kelly said, “Time stands still for Samoa Joe and C.M. Punk.” Ross said he loves the drama and the energy. Fans chanted “Holy shit!” Kellys aid in 2004, they had perhaps the greatest trilogy of the 21st century and perhaps all time. Joe chopped Punk hard in the chest over and over. Like, really hard. punk chopped back and then put Joe in a side headlock. They cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]
Back from the break, the heel trio had Dax isolated and were beating on him in their corner. Dax tagged out to Cash who rallied against Juice. Cash powerslammed Juice out of mid-air and scored a near fall. Punk landed a flying elbow drop onto Juice for a near fall. Kelly said they’re managing Punk’s minutes in this match. He gave Juice a backbreaker. They cut to another splt-screen break. [c/ss]
Back from the break, Juice and Cash were battling. Joe tagged in and went after Cash with a barrage of punches and then a dropdown enzuigiri. When he went for the cover, Punk kicked Joe. Joe popped up and eyed Punk. White tagged in and chopped away at Cash in the corner. Cash hot-tagged in Punk. Punk went on a string of fast-paced, hard-hitting offensive spots against all three opponents. He spun around with his arms extended and played to the crowd. He signaled for Go To Sleep. He lifted White, but White raked his eyes to break free. Juice knocked Punk off balance on the top rope. White landed a uranage for a near fall. White set up a Blade Runner, but Punk blocked it and landed a hard lariat. He tagged in Dax. Dax, Cash, and Punk took turns hitting splashes on White. When Punk made the cover, Juice broke it up.
Joe tagged in and went after Punk. Punk came back with a kneelift a minute later. Joe countered with a sleeper. White held off Dax from breaking it up on one side of the ring. Juice held back Cash on the other side. Punk went down. Cash broke free a knocked White off the ring apron. Dax then broke up the sleeper. Juice tagged back in and set up a DDT, but Punk kicked free. FTR then gave Juice a Big Rig. Punk followed up with a Go To Sleep for the win.
WINNERS: Punk & FTR in 24:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: A crowd-pleasing match with a predictable and sensible finish. It’s going to be interesting to see how fans in Canada in upcoming weeks react to Punk, but this was a good start for AEW Punk V2.)
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