SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
AEW DYNAMITE REPORT
MAY 3, 2023
BALTIMORE, MD.
AIRED ON TBS
Commentators: Excalibur, Taz, Tony Schiavone
Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts
[HOUR ONE]
-The Dynamite opening aired. Excalibur then introduced the show.
(1) ORANGE CASSIDY & BANDIDO & RODERICK STRONG & ADAM COLE vs. DANNY GARCIA & ANGELO PARKER & MATT MENARD & JAKE HAGER (w/Chris Jericho)
As Cassidy made his ring entrance alongside Bandido, they showed a split-screen view of Roderick Strong’s AEW debut last week. Strong then made his entrance. Adam Cole then made his full separate entrance to complete that team. The Jericho Appreciation Society came out together without Jericho. Jericho’s theme played and he came out onto the stage and pointed at Cole, but then joined the commentators.
The bell rang seven minutes into the hour. Jericho said Cole got what he deserved. He said if he were in Cole’s position, he would have gone through heaven and earth to save his loved one. Two minutes in all eight wrestlers squared off mid-ring and then brawled. Excalibur plugged tickets for All In at Wembley going on sale this Friday to the general public. Taz touted the ticket revenue for the pre-sale tickets earlier in the week. Cole began making his way up the ramp to get to Jericho, but he was cut off by J.A.S. members. A graphic hyped the Four Pillars tag match later. They cut to a split-screen break at 6:00. [c/ss]
Jericho ranted about how Cole didn’t protect “his woman” and claimed he embarrassed himself. Strong tagged in 11:00 and rallied against J.A.S. He scored a near fall on Hager, broken up by Parker and Menard. Garcia kicked Strong, but it sent him into his corner so he tagged in Cassidy. Garcia quickly put Cassidy in the Sharpshooter as a counter to the Orange Punch. Cole broke it up. Chaos ensued. Cassidy caught Hager with an Orange Punch. He gave Garcia a Beach Break for a near fall. Everyone was down and slow to get up. Excalibur plugged Rampage, starting at 6:30 ET on Friday due to sports on TNT.
Cassidy sl0-mo punched Garcia. Garcia swung at Cassidy, but Cassidy ducked. Cassidy and Bandido dove through the ropes onto opponents at ringside. Strong then went after Parker in the ring. Cole quickly tagged in and hit the Boom for the win.
WINNERS: Cole & Bandido & Strong & Cassidy in 14:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: Good action throughout with an effective undercurrent of tension with Cole wanting to get his hands on Jericho.)
-Cole charged at Jericho after the match and tackled him and mounted him and punched away at him. Security ran up and pulled Cole off of Jericho. Jericho yelled, “He’s a menace!”
-Renee Paquette interviewed “Jungle Boy” Jack Perry and Darby backstage about their match later. She asked how they’re feeling about teaming together later. Jungle Boy said he and Darby don’t like each other much, but they share some things in common. He said they were both there from day one and have busted their asses and neither of them have main evented a pay-per-view. He said they’d change that tonight. Darby said they will walk into Double or Nothing as no. 1 contenders and one of them will walk out with the AEW Title. “Tonight is showtime,” Darby concluded.
(Keller’s Analysis: They’ve steered their dynamic in the right direction since setting the stage initially that they didn’t like each other at all. Jungle Boy is coming along well on the mic. Darby too.) [c]
-They cut backstage to security dragging Cole out of the arena as Jericho yelled at him. Britt Baker then ran up to Jericho and slapped him and called him a coward. Jericho went down and yelled, “Get her out of here!”
-They went elsewhere backstage to Bryan Danielson, along with Jon Moxley, Wheeler Yuta, and Claudio Castagnoli. Danielson said he always thought it was egotistical of a certain legendary wrestler saying he is the best there is and ever will be. Danielson said that offended him. He said he is the best wrestler in the world today, and if not him, it’s one of the men standing behind him. He said because of what they’ve built, there will be a wrestler better than him some day. He called Yuta “a little shit” and said he hopes he becomes a better wrestler than he ever was. He said that’s the difference between them and The Elite. He said they push wrestlers to be the best and want AEW to be the best wrestling company ever and they’ll do whatever it takes. Moxley said they’re blades of iron sharpening each other. He said they’re not bullies. He said The Elite were once on the cutting edge of pro wrestling, but he’s not sure if that’s the case now. He challenged Omega to a cage match. He said 2019 or 2020 might as well have been a decade ago. He said every day he and his crew get better. He said he wants to find out how good the 2023 Omega is in a steel cage. “We are going to leave one hell of a mark,” he said.
(Keller’s Analysis: Really good promo, but tell me why anyone is supposed to boo anything they said?)
-Excalibur confirmed Mox vs. Omega in a cage in Detroit next week on Dynamite.
(2) WILLOW NIGHTINGALE vs. SARAYA (w/Toni Storm, Ruby Soho)
The bell rang 32 minutes into the hour. Willow leaped off the second rope with a flying dropkick. She chopped Saraya in the corner. Storm yanked on Willow’s boot. Saraya recovered and kicked her to take over control. Storm and Ruby were attacking Willow at ringside as they cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]
Saraya controlled the action during the break. She landed her Nightcap for a two count. Willow came back with a Death Valley Driver. Storm distracted the ref and then Soho jumped onto the ring apron. Willow went after her and yanked her into the ring and then delivered a Pounce, sending Ruby hard into the middle rope. Ruby rolled to the floor. Willow knocked Storm off the ring apron next. Saraya then caught Willow from behind with her Good Night finisher for the win.
WINNER: Saraya in 7:00.
-After the match, the Outcasts beat down Willow. Hikaru Shida ran out with a kendo stick for the apparent save. She hugged The Outcasts instead of fighting them. “This can’t be happening!” exclaimed Tony Schiavone. The Outcasts held Willow as Shida prepared to spray paint Willow. Britt Baker and Jamie Hayter entered the ring behind the Outcasts. Shida then sprayed Saraya in the face with the paint, revealing that she swerved The Outcasts. They beat down the Outcasts, then Shida spray-painted them.
(Keller’s Analysis: That was well-executed in the sense that Shida working the Outcasts didn’t lead to Willow taking any more abuse. I’m not sure what the point of the swerve was, though. I suppose there’s an extra dose of satisfaction by lulling the Outcasts into thinking you’re on their side and turning on them.)
-They went to the announcers who reacted to the angle. Schiavone called it “a great, great swerve.”
-A House of Black promo aired. They explained “Open House” special rules for their matches, which includes no rope breaks or countouts, but their opponents for each title defense get to pick a special stip of their own.
-The Lucha Brothers and Vikingo made their entrance with Alex Alahambres. [c/ss]
(3) TRIOS BATTLE ROYAL with Six Trios Teams
More ring entrances took place during the break. The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn made their entrance after the break. Max Caster said, “We’re blowing up like a drone at the Kremlin.” He said hears the Q in Q.T. stands for Q’anon. He also talked about how Dark Order still have no black friends and made a Lamar Jackson reference. The bell rang 49 minutes into the hour. The six teams were:
- Tony Nese & Josh Woods & Ariya Daivari
- Evil Uno & John Silver & Alex Reynolds
- Butcher & The Blade & Kip Sabian
- Powerhouse Hobbs & Q.T. Marshall & Aaron Solo
- The Acclaimed & Billy Gunn
- Vikingo & Lucha Bros.
Fenix and Penta eliminated Marshall and Solo. Hobbs was upset. He lowered his straps. Fenix and Penta ran the ropes. Solo grabbed Penta’s leg, but Marshall somehow completely spaced out and didn’t grab Fenix’s leg, so Fenix had to pretend Marshall grabbed his leg. Vikingo went after Hobbs and then dove onto Marshall and Solo at ringside. He springboarded at Hobbs, but Hobbs caught him and tossed him into Marshall and Solo at ringside. Gunn went after Hobbs, but Hobbs dropped him hard. Caster and Hobbs battled. Anthony Bowens join in. When Hobbs charged, the Acclaimed ducked and then Hobbs tumbled over the top rope to the floor. Fans sang “Oh scissors me Daddy!” Butcher eliminated Caster by knocking him off the top rope. Blade then gave Bowens a neckbreaker. It came down to Sabian, Butcher, Blade vs. Gunn and Bowens at 9:00. The Acclaimed ultimately prevailed.
WINNERS: The Acclaimed & Gunn in 10:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: Mostly a solid battle royal with some specific areas of focus at each stage.)
[HOUR TWO]
-Renee interviewed Sammy Guevara backstage. She said in order for him to cash the check MJF wrote out for him, they need to win tonight. MJF interrupted. Guevara said MJF left him last week and claimed there wasn’t room for him, but no one was in the car. MJF said he should’ve been honest with him, but he needed the space in the car to lie down because of back pain. He said he was afraid to be honest with him. He said he was a horrible friend and he deserves better. He turned to leave. Guevara pulled him in and kissed his forehead. MJF said he’s emotionally drained, but then he perked up as he said he got their theme songs merged tonight. They hugged.
(Keller’s Analysis: Two con men continue to con each other, and it’s fun to watch them think they’ve got the other one fooled.) [c]
-Kenny Omega and Don Callis spoke backstage. Callis said if Moxley has a plan, “that’s a new one.” He pointed at his scar and said he thinks about him every day when he looks in the mirror. He said Mox might have heavy hands, but with his mind and Omega’s talent, it will all come to an end in the cage. Omega said when you surround a ring with a cage, he knows better than anyone that Mox will make him bleed and he might make himself bleed. He said Mox won’t be the one left standing, though. He said what he did to the Buck, Takeshita, and Callis made it personal. “Good bye, good night,” he closed with.
(Keller’s Analysis: Solid promo. I like serious Kenny. He’s not a top shelf promo, but his intensity and serious demeanor is better than trying to be a goof for entertainment value.)
-Excalibur hyped the cage match next week. Then he plugged Ricky Starks vs. Juice Robertson and the main event tag match.
(4) WARDLOW (w/Arn Anderson) vs. LOGAN LEMIEUX
Excalibur said, “It’s been a historic week for AEW – *an* historic week for AEW.” (He was right the first time. The “h” in “historic” is not silent, so it’s “a historic,” not “an historic.” After all, cats don’t make “an hissing sound.”) Wardlow dominated and won quickly.
WINNER: Wardlow in 1:00.
-Wardlow yelled that he isn’t done and he hasn’t even broken a sweat yet. He told Christian to bring his monster out right now so they can do it right here, right now. He said Luchasaurus wants to jump ahead in line, so he’d issue a TNT Title Open Challenge for him. Christian walked out and insulted the fans and asked for quiet so he could conduct business. He said he could take that TNT Title from Wardlow right now. He said that won’t happen, though, “especially not in Baltimore.” He said the title shot doesn’t belong to Luchasaurus, it “belongs to me.” Wardlow looked surprised and, weirdly, concerned. Anderson talked to Wardlow. Schiavone said they were trying to process it.
(Keller’s Analysis: Why was Wardlow so angry? He was yelling at the top of his lungs for no reason there. He also got the spirit of an Open Challenge backwards. I also have no idea what the storyline is that Christian has an open challenge and not Luchasaurus, or why Wardlow would look upset about that.) [c]
-Jeff Jarrett, Sonjay Dutt, Satnum Singh, and Jay Lethal visited Mark Briscoe and offered to help him with yard work. Then they showed them doing yard work. Papa Briscoe showed up and eyed them. Jarrett & Co. walked away. Satnum actually had Briscoe’s baby still. Papa Briscoe said he knows Lethal is okay, but he should keep his eyes on the other idiots in overalls. Lethal challenged FTR for a match at Double or Nothing. Jay asked Mark for help with strategy beating FTR. Jarrett said they should go fishing and talk strategy.
(5) RICKY STARKS vs. JUICE ROBINSON
Jay White accompanied Juice onto the stage, but didn’t follow him to ringside. The bell rang 22 minutes into the hour. Taz said AEW sold around 45,000 seats on the pre-sale day for Wembley Stadium show. Schiavone said that’s just the beginning. They brawled to the floor a minute in. Juice reverse-whipped Starks into the ringside steps. Starks made a comeback and threw Juice into the ringpost and he picked up Juice and climbed the ringside steps and then slammed him to the mat. They cut to a break at 3:00. [c/ss]
Starks eventually won with a spear and his Roshambo.
WINNER: Starks in 8:00.
-After the match, White attacked Starks. When Starks made a comeback, Juice pulled White to safety and they retreated. Excalibur said White knew Shawn Spears wasn’t in the arena tonight to Starks.
-Excalibur plugged The Firm Deletion match on Rampage this Friday featuring The Hardys & Hook & Isiah Kassidy vs. The Firm, plus Vikingo & Lucha Brothers vs. Hobbs & Marshall & Solo. Dynamite next week features Moxley vs. Omega in a cage, Orange Cassidy vs. Danny Garcia for the TNT Title, and FTR will speak.
-They went backstage to Darby and Perry getting psyched up. Darby left. MJF walked in and told Perry that if he cuts the goody two shoes routine, they can be at the top of the sport. He said Guevara has never had more money, fame, or air time since aligning with him. He said imagine what he could do for him. He told Perry to betray Darby. He said he loves him like a brother, but he’s not world championship material. He said he is offering him a spot next to the throne. Perry said he is looking for the crown. Darby walked back in wondering where Perry was. He looked at Perry suspiciously as MJF left the room. Perry offered a fist bump. Darby wasn’t receptive and stared at Perry. [c]
(6) MJF & SAMMY GUEVARA vs. “JUNGLE BOY” JACK PERRY & DARBY ALLIN – If Darby & Perry win, the Double or Nothing main event turns into a Four-Way for MJF’s World Title
The bell rang 44 minutes into the hour. Schiavone said he hopes MJF isn’t their world champion by the time they arrive in London for the Wembley Stadium show. After a flurry by Darby, MJF and Guevara had a conference at ringside. MJF claimed Perry pulled his hair. Darby and Guevara battled for a few minutes. Darby reached for a tag, but MJF yanked Perry to the floor and threw him into the ringside barricade. As MJF gloated, they cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]
After the break, Darby finally did hot-tag in Perry. Guevara and MJF double-teamed Perry, but Perry clotheslined both of them. He then dove at MJF at ringside and then did the same to Guevara on the other side of the ring. He went back after MJF and then back after Guevara. He landed a running flip dive on MJF and then pounded the mat and ran out of steam. Darby decided to take over, and he dove onto Guevara at ringside instead. Perry gave Guevara a Tiger Driver in the ring. It seemed like they weren’t necessarily on the same page on the move, but Guevara tucked just in time. Perry then climbed to the top rope. MJF grabbed Perry. Guevara then landed a Spanish Fly on Perry off the top rope.
MJF tagged back in and punched away at Perry. Perry blind-tagged in and pulled MJF off of Darby. He applied the Snare Trap mid-ring. Guevera double-stomped MJF to break the hold. Guevara and MJF clapped together, almost in sync (funny). Then they ran the ropes and were going to double flip-dive over the top rope, but MJF stopped. Guevara hit Perry and Darby himself. MJF asked for him to throw Perry into the ring. MJF then landed a fisherman driver on Perry and scored a two count.
Guevara tagged in and landed a top rope senton. MJF blind tagged in and made the cover. Guevara didn’t like MJF’s blind tag. MJF told an upset Guevara that he was just trying to win and it’s okay. Guevara blind-tagged in after MJF powerbombed Perry. Guevara covered Perry for a near fall. MJF and Guevara argued. Schiavone said he loved this was happening. Taz wanted Schiavone to be quiet so they could hear them. MJF slapped Guevara. Guevara had enough and superkicked MJF. Perry then schoolboyed Guevara for a two count. He superkicked Guevara. Darby blind-tagged in. Perry made the cover, but Darby leaped onto Guevara with a Coffin Drop for the win.
WINNERS: Darby & Perry in 15:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: This felt like a legit Dynamite main event and they told their story well of misunderstandings and egos that felt believable given the circumstances and the characters involved. They left just enough doubt that Darby and Perry will get along that it doesn’t seem like an advantage over heel MJF.)
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.