8/9 AEW DARK ELEVATION: Bryant’s report on Dark Order vs. Wingmen, plus Soho & Skye Blue, Parker Bordeaux, Athena, Hogan & Grey

AEW DARK ELEVATION REPORT
AUGUST 9, 2022
TAPED 8/03 IN COLUMBUS, OHIO
AIRED ON YOUTUBE.COM
REPORT BY DAVID BRYANT, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR

Commentators: Tony Schiavone & Mark Henry

Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts

– Hey! Thank you so much for joining me for another AEW Dark Elevation report! This is going to be a very quick rundown of the show (by my standards, at least). My life has been exploding all around me like a field full of red-hot landmines, and it’s been hard trying to write while also ducking for cover.

– Tonight’s AEW Dark Elevation taping emanated not-live from the Value City Arena in The Schottenstein Center in Columbus, Ohio. (Have you seen the Ohio state flag? It’s a swallow-tailed burgee! They have the most extra state flag ever. I’m jealous.)

(1) RUBY SOHO & SKYE BLUE vs. NIKKI VICTORY & MEGAN MEYERS

Ruby Soho and Skye Blue entered first, and the crowd roared.

“The fans really respond to Ruby Soho and Skye Blue!” Tony Schiavone said.

“I wish someone would respond to me that way,” Mark Henry said.

Nikki Victory & Megan Meyers were already awaiting Soho and Blue’s arrival in the ring, and the match started off with Blue and Victory representing their respective teams.

“Megan Meyers is a horror fan,” Henry said. (Oh, I get it. “Meyers…” Nice.)

Blue and Victory entered a collar and elbow tie-up before heading into a wristlock/waistlock/standing-switch combination, followed by an arm drag from Blue. Blue sent Victory into the upstage right turnbuckles and tagged in Soho. Soho and Blue then executed a complete disaster. IDEK what they were trying to do, but it looked like Blue grabbed Soho’s legs, swung Soho face-first into the canvas, and then dropped Soho onto her chest and head. Soho then tried to get back up, tripped over her own feet, stumbled toward a very confused Victory, and nose-butted Victory’s vagina. Victory paused for a second to figure out what the hell she should do with that and decided to sell it anyway.

“Look at that teamwork,” Henry said.

Soho tagged in Blue and snapmared Victory to the canvas. Both competitors hit Victory with double running punt kicks, and Blue went for a cover, but she only got a one-count. Blue superkicked Victory but missed in what looked like a botch.

“Oh, wow, that was…” Henry switched sentiments midsentence, “a unique way to escape a kick.”

Victory tagged in Meyers, and Blue attempted a shotgun dropkicked but also missed. However, Meyers clutched her chest and sold it anyway. (Marina Shafir should be in this match.) Meyers (who has a great look) turned the tables on Blue, swung Blue into the upstage left corner, hit a clothesline, executed some in-ring acrobatics, nailed blue with a roundhouse kick, and tagged in Victory.

Victory kicked, stomped, and forearmed Blue while she was still down and then ran at Soho in the corner. However, Soho dodged Victory’s attempt to knock her off the apron, and both women talked crap to each other. Blue tagged in Soho, and Victory ran across the ring to tag in Meyers.

Soho went on a mad dash of offense against Meyers, hitting back multiple elbows and forearms. Victory ran in, but Soho knocked Victory to the ground and attempted to Irish whip Meyers. However, Meyers reversed Soho’s whip. Soho grabbed the ring ropes to stop herself from crashing into the downstage right corner, and then Soho executed a Deadly Nightshade on Meyers. The crowd erupted in support of Soho.

Soho threw Meyers into Victory and executed a DDT that took both of her opponents down at the same time. Soho covered Meyers but only got a two-count. Victory grabbed Soho’s hair, but Blue ran in and dropkicked Victory. (This one connected.) Soho executed her Destination Unknown finisher and picked up the victory (but not that Victory).

WINNER: Soho & Blue in 4:00

(David’s Analysis: That was a mess. Soho is extremely over, Meyers is very athletic, and the crowd was into it… but damn.)

– After the match, they replayed several aspects of the bout, but not the assisted-faceplant-nose-butt thing that totally stole the show. For some reason, they did not replay that.

(2) PARKER BORDEAUX (w/Ariya Daivari) vs. CASEY CARRINGTON

Ariya Daivari escorted Parker Bordeaux to the ring, and if you squint really hard, Bordeaux looks a tiny bit like Brock Lesnar. His opponent Casey Carrington (who was back for his second match in AEW) stood waiting in the ring.

The match started with Carrington looking terrified. Bordeaux threw Carrington to the canvas, dragged Carrington into the upstage left corner, and clobbered Carrington with a running body avalanche.

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen a man that size,” Henry said. (Has anyone checked on Paul Wight?)

Bordeaux Beil threw Carrington so high into the air that I feared he would flip all the way over before landing.

“He almost hit his head on the support above the ring,” Henry said.

Carrington tried to get in some offense with a couple of forearms, but Bordeaux no-sold them and clotheslined Carrington to the mat. Bordeaux executed a modified belly-to-back suplex on Carrington, covered Carrington with his forearm across the poor guy’s face, and picked up the win.

WINNER: Bordeaux at 94 seconds

(David’s Analysis: That was a total squash. However, I loved hearing Daivari scream, “Yes! Oh, yes!” from ringside. You’d think he was watching a Vickie Guerrero fashion show or something. )

– After the match, Davari got in the ring to raise Bordeaux’s hand himself.

(3) ATHENA vs. QUEEN AMINATA

Athena’s music hit, and I’m actually really looking forward to her match against Jade Cargill. I’m noting that because I really did not have “looking forward to a Jade Cargill match” on my 2022 bingo card, but here we are. (And it’s not just Athena; props to Jade Cargill, too. She’s gone from painful to watch to painfully interesting, and that’s not an easy thing to do.) Athena’s opponent Queen Aminata (who, like Carrington, is also back for a second time), was already waiting in the ring.

Athena and Aminata looked like they were headed for a test of strength, but Aminata cheap-shotted Athena and kicked her in the guts. Aminata grabbed Athena’s hair and rubbed her buttocks in Athena’s face. (Yes, really.) Aminata sent Athena into a whip, but Athena reversed it. Aminata went for an arm drag on Athena, and Athena reversed that as well, taking Aminata down with an arm drag of her own.

Aminata rolled out of the ring to re-group and, in the process, talked trash to the crowd. (She was good at talking trash — she had a lot of personality.)

“Did she just say she’s done?” Henry asked about Aminata. “That she’s not getting out of here?”

“I guess so,” Excalibur said.

Athena hit Aminata with a shotgun dropkick at ringside and tossed her back into the ring. (It was a really cool-looking dropkick that sent Aminata into the barricade. The camera cut to a woman gasping and grabbing at her mouth. They also showed two replays of the dropkicking, including an overhead replay that made it look even better.)

“She just dropkicked her out of her boots,” Henry said. “Look at the crowd; they can’t believe it, and neither can I!”

Back in the ring, Aminata had turned things around and hit a snap suplex on Athena for a two-count. Both women got to their feet, and a rush of offense ensued. Athena went at Aminata with a bevy of forearms; Aminata went at Athena with a kick, and Athena countered that with a superkick. Athena then hit a uniquely angled codebreaker to fully ground Aminata. Athena climbed the turnbuckles in the upstage right corner and jumped off to perform her Eclipse finisher. This was enough for Athena to pick up the win.

WINNER: Athena in 4:00

(David’s Analysis: This was a good match without any botches. Plus, Aminata’s charisma and looks added a lot to the match.)

– After the match, they replayed Athena’s Eclipse finisher, and Athena climbed the ropes to look out at the crowd.

(4) KIERA HOGAN & LEILA GREY vs. ALICE CROWLEY & FREYA STATES

Kiera Hogan & Leila Grey came out of the heels’ tunnel and spent their entire trip to the ring bickering at one another. Their opponents, Alice Crowley & Freya States, were already awaiting their arrival in the ring.

Crowley & States jumped Grey & Hogan from behind. (Are they a face team?) Grey threw Crowley out of the ring, and Hogan stopped States’ momentum with a back kick, a stomp to the back, and a leg drop. Hogan covered States but only got a two-count. Hogan leaned on the upstage ropes, and Grey tagged herself in. This led to a very unhelpful bout of verbal sparring before States moved to assault Grey. Grey stopped States with multiple forearms and kicks. States countered that with some forearms of her own and an aggressive Biel throw.

States charged Grey in the upstage left corner, but Grey sidestepped States, hit States with a running knee strike, and took States down with a tornado DDT. This was good enough for a two-count. Grey tagged in Hogan, and States tagged in Crowley.

Hogan hit Crowley with a kick to her torso, a superkick, and a sliding dropkick. Hogan covered Crowell, and States tried to enter the ring to interfere. However, Grey yanked States off the apron. The referee dropped to the mat and countered Hogan’s cover, and Team Baddies picked up the win.

WINNER: Hogan & Grey in 2:00

(David’s Analysis: This was short, but it told the story it was supposed to tell, which, and I’m just guessing here, is that Grey and Hogan hate winning matches.)

– After the match, the baddies continued bickering because they were both so livid about their win.

(5) DARK ORDER (John Silver & Alex Reynolds) (w/Evil Uno and Preston Vance) vs. LORDE CREW & T.U.G. COOPER

The words “Join the Dark Order” filled the arena and the crowd immediately lit up with excitement. John Silver (of Popeye) fame & Alex Reynolds (of Reynolds fame) made their way to the ring. T.U.G. Cooper & Lorde (not the singer) Crew were already waiting in the ring.

Silver and Crewe started things off for their respective teams. they began with a collar and elbow tie-up, followed by Crewe whipping Silver into the stage right ring ropes. Silver rebounded onto Crewe with a shoulder tackle. With Crewe on the ground, Silver John-Silvered for the crowd, and the crowd enjoyed this.

Silver ran the ropes with the fury of a man who had just injected spinach into his eyeball. Silver ended his rope-run with an impressive flying uppercut. Silver whipped Crewe across the ring and caught Crewe on the rebound to execute a back-body-drop. After more John-Silvering, Silver tossed Crewe out of the ring and to the floor.

Cooper tried to jump into the ring to interfere, but Silver caught Cooper with an uppercut. However, Cooper seemed undeterred and cornered Silver in the heel team’s corner. Cooper hit Silver with several bodyshots and tagged in Crewe. Crewe hit Silver with several more bodyshots, chops, and forearms. Silver managed to make it to Dark Order’s corner and tagged in Reynolds. Crewe tagged in Cooper.

Reynolds exploded into the ring; he hit Cooper with a running kick, hit both Cooper and Crewe with a back elbow, and hit Cooper with a rolling back elbow. Cooper reversed an Irish whip from Reynolds and assumed the “looking for trouble” position. Reynolds gave Cooper trouble by jumping on his bent-over back with a double stomp.

Crewe jumped into the ring to interfere, but he was stopped by Silver, who took him out with a pump kick. Silver and Reynolds then hit Cooper with a fast-fire set of double-team moves that included an elbow, an enzuigiri, a stunner, a suplex, and a jackknife. (Wow.) Reynolds covered Cooper and picked up the win.

WINNER: Dark Order (Silver & Reynolds) in 3:00

(David’s Analysis: This was a short but exciting match that followed AEW’s usual tag-team rules of nothing.)

– After the match, the director cut to images of the crowd literally on their feet for Dark Order.

Henry said, “No replays here. We don’t need em’. What we just saw in this match is embedded in our brains forever.” (Production truck issues, maybe?)

(6) THE WINGMEN (Peter Avalon & Ryan Nemeth) vs. THE LUCHA BROTHERS (w/Alex Abrahantes)

The Wingmen entered first, represented by Ryan Nemeth, Peter Avalon, and Peter Avalon’s hair. The director cut to a Wingmen fan in the audience. (Mental issues, maybe?) Avalon entered the ring by bending over the middle rope like Stacy Kibler but with better hair and thinner bones.

The Lucha Brothers came out next with Alex Abrahantes, and you would think they were genuine rock stars. The crowd’s reaction was a lot. Like I went to go see Hanson in the early 2000s, and that was this.

Avalon and Fenix started things off. Fenix attempted a collar and elbow tie-up, but Avalon sidestepped him, went to The Wingmen’s corner, and kissed Nemeth. (Please don’t turn this into a gay thing. Stereotype acts like that did a number on my self-esteem in the 2000s, and while I don’t blame anyone involved, I hope to never see that kind of gimmick on my screen again.) Avalon tagged in Nemeth.

“This crowd is so fired up,” Henry said. (And he’s not wrong. Geesh.)

“We’re coming to you live from The Schottenstein Center,” Schiavone said. (Did you know The Value City Arena in The Schottenstein Center is the seventh largest indoor arena owned by a university in the United States of America? Well, if not, you can now sleep easier knowing.)

Nemeth tagged in Avalon and Fenix tagged in Penta (no blows have taken place yet.) Penta moved toward Avalon, and Nemeth jumped into the ring to protect Avalon’s face. (OMG.) The Lucha Brothers jointly superkicked both members of The Wingmen and threw them out of the ring. The Lucha Brothers then ran the ropes, looking for a tope suicida, but The Wingmen picked their ankles, and both brothers fell to the ground. Avalon tossed Fenix into the barricade while Penta made it back into the ring. The Wingmen then ganged up on Fenix, kicking and hitting him in unison.

Avalon put Penta in a wristlock and immediately tagged Nemeth back into the ring. The Wingmen performed double arm wrenches on Penta, and Nemeth tagged Avalon back in. Avalon barely did anything before tagging Nemeth back. (This is getting hard to keep up with.) Nemeth and Avalon swung Penta into the ropes and then bent over in the “looking for trouble” position. Penta rebounded back on them with the trouble they were looking for and kicked them in the chest. Penta ran the ropes and hit both Nemeth and Avalon with his stellar-looking slingblade takedown. (I love it when he does that move!)

“Is there anybody who does that better?” Henry said. (He should consider it as a finisher.)

Penta tagged in Fenix, and Fenix entered the match via a frog splash. Penta then tossed Avalon over the top rope. Fenix knocked Avalon off the apron with a springboard enzuigiri, and both members of The Lucha Brothers hit Nemeth with superkicks. Penta and Fenix then executed a double-team Cazadora/rolling splash. Fenix covered Nemeth, but Nemeth kicked out at two.

Fenix tried to sweep Nemeht’s legs out from under him, but this appeared to be a little botched. However, Nemeth fell down anyway. Fenix held Nemeth’s legs open, and Penta jumped off the top rope to execute a flying shotgun dropkick to the male reproductive glands responsible for the synthesis of spermatozoa that reside in Nemeth’s nut sac, I assume. Fenix covered Nemeth for a two-count, but Avalon leaped in to break up the count.

Fenix went for a roundhouse kick, but Avalon dodged it and hit Fenix with a step-up enzuigiri. Nemeth then captured Fenix’s head and executed a high-angle DDT. Nemeth covered Fenix and got a two-count. Nemeth tagged in Avalon and Fenix tagged in Penta.

Penta walked right into a kick from Nemeth, and Avalon climbed to the top rope, but before he could jump off, Fenix interrupted with a role through uppercut on Avalon. Both brothers superkicked Nemeth’s head, and then Fenix ran up the ropes, grabbed Avalon, and jumped off to execute a high-flying Spanish fly. The Lucha Brothers then executed a Fear Factor on Nemeth to pick up the win.

WINNER: Lucha Bros. in 6:00

(David’s Analysis: Despite a slow start and a botch that did not involve nose-butting, this was far and away the best match on this show.)

– After the match, Andrade El Idolo’s music hit, and he came out with Rush. Idolo and Rush walked to the ring and taunted The Lucha Brothers, pretending they were going to enter the ring. However, after a moment’s thought, Idolo and Rush decided to return to the back without incident.

– After that, there was a double turn, an NWO-style brawl, flickering lights, a barbwire platform, Eddie Kingston as a zombie, Moxley as a blood bank, and Darby Alin committing almost-suicide. (Just kidding, this was Dark, not Dynamite.)

FINAL THOUGHTS: This was a decent episode of AEW Dark Elevation, and the crowd seemed into it throughout. My match-of-the-night award (still not an actual award) goes to The Lucha Brothers vs. The Wingmen. If you only watch one match on this show, watch The Lucha Brothers vs. The Wingmen. If you have time to watch two matches on this show, watch Athena vs. Queen Aminata, and if you have time to watch three matches on this show, check out the Dark Order match.

Thank you all for reading. I truly appreciate it. And as always, I’m still working on my sign-off, but until next week, remember, today is the good old days of tomorrow.