HEYDORN’S TAKE: Don’t hold me to this – WWE Elimination Chamber 2022

Another year, another WWE blood money event. This blood money event is different than the others though, in that it actually matters to WWE’s narrative ecosystem. The others were glorified house shows buoyed by stars of the past and paychecks with lots of zeros. This iteration takes the shape of an actual yearly WWE event.

Elimination Chamber is one of many gimmick events, so typically lacks in build and intrigue. The 2022 event? Not so much. WWE built this show in a strong and effective way. With WrestleMania on the horizon, it’s primed to be impactful as the lone event before the show of shows in Dallas on April 1 and 2.

Call this a preview, a calm look into the distant future, or a gaze into a wondrous crystal ball; just don’t hold me to anything, ok?

Women’s Elimination Chamber Match – Bianca Belair vs. Doudrop vs. Liv Morgan vs. Alexa Bliss vs. Rhea Ripley vs. Nikki A.S.H

A two-woman race, but one that should make for an intriguing match. Bianca Belair has been positioned strong going into this with weekly wins under her belt and a feud victory over Doudrop. Bliss is making her return to the ring after most of the last nine months away. Bliss needs the win. Belair does too and she’ll get it. Look, Becky Lynch still needs a WrestleMania opponent and her story with Belair still awaits a conclusion. Belair taking this victory and heading to WrestleMania against Lynch checks both boxes.

Ronda Rousey & Naomi vs. Charlotte Flair & Sonya Deville

A smart match more than an intriguing one. Rousey could use a tune up before WrestleMania and this gives her a good opportunity for that. Not a chance in you know what that team Rousey loses in this one.

Drew McIntyre vs. Madcap Moss – Falls Count Anywhere

I really wish this wasn’t a thing. Why? For one thing, this is a rematch, which means the world was subjected to it once before. It wasn’t a bad match, but nothing anyone is salivating to see again. Mainly though, this match happening here means that Drew vs. Happy Corbin is likely lined up for WrestleMania. Two years ago, Drew beat Brock Lesnar to win the WWE Championship. Now, he’s doing this. McIntyre wins this definitively, but nothing important is waiting for him on the other side.

Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

A good feud for Rey Mysterio is a low bar to clear these days. Anything that frames him as the legendary wrestler that he is, is a step in the right direction in my book. They’ve found that here. Miz has been able to lean into Mysterio and overlook his history, which is the perfect avenue to heat. This is mid-card at best, but fine for what it is. Mysterio takes the victory and vanquishes the cocky Miz.

The Usos vs. The Viking Raiders – WWE Smackdown Tag Team Championship

A program lost in the shuffle. Neither team has been framed all that well heading into the show and this screams kickoff show match. The Viking Raiders have really devolved into a joke of a team and for that reason Jimmy and Jey Uso will easily get the win.

Lita vs. Becky Lynch – WWE Raw Women’s Championship

The best built match on the card. Lynch and Lita showed strong chemistry together and brought out the best in one another. Lynch laid a foundation for Lita to succeed on the microphone and Lita’s star power gave Lynch a stronger opponent to work with. The story here has been Lynch arrogantly and inauthentically being worried about taking out her childhood hero. That’s a fresh avenue and a fresh story that’s been needed on WWE television. The outcome here isn’t in doubt. Lynch wins cleanly, but Lita puts up a strong fight too.

Roman Reigns vs. Goldberg – WWE Universal Championship

Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Goldberg is still around, huh? Goldberg says Reigns is next. Reigns gets offended. Reigns says he’s going to Goldberg, Goldberg. End of story. It’s a yawner for me, folks. Reigns wins in seconds and heads to WrestleMania.

Men’s Elimination Chamber WWE Championship Match – Bobby Lashley vs. Brock Lesnar vs. A.J. Styles, vs. Riddle vs. Austin Theory vs. Seth Rollins

Another well-built match. Lesnar being around always helps elevate the tone of a match and such is the case here. Bobby Lashley as champion has momentum, Rollins has picked up his pace, and Riddle is the most over act on Raw. Toss the talent of A.J. Styles and the potential of Austin Theory, and you have a diverse mix of stories, characters, and talent colliding for a big prize. Lesnar can’t win this, unless they are going to a champion vs. champion match at WrestleMania. Unlikely, though. So, because of that, Lashley is the only logical choice. Winning is a feather in his cap and helps the trajectory of his title reign.

CATCH-UP: Don’t hold me to this – WWE Elimination Chamber 2022