SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
KELLER’S AEW DYNAMITE REPORT
DECEMBER 22, 2021
GREENSBORO, N.C.
AIRED LIVE ON TNT
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Excalibur, Taz
Ring Announcer: Justin Roberts
[HOUR ONE]
-Excalibur introduced the show and said Jim Ross will be back soon.
(1) ADAM COLE vs. ORANGE CASSIDY
Cole came out first. As Cassidy entered the ring, Taz said newer viewers shouldn’t be fooled by his denim and lackadaisical demeanor, he’s a serious competitor. The bell rang and Cole leaned in the corner casually as Cassidy looked around at the fans, still in his sunglasses. Tony Schiavone said Sting would wrestle in the Greensboro Coliseum for the first time in 27 years. He called it one of the biggest Dynamite main events yet. Cole stepped mid-ring and slid his boot on the canvas as if drawing a line in the sand. Cassidy walked around the line and then drew his own. Cole walked up to his face. They had a staredown and exchanged some words. Then Cole raised his arms and the crowd yelled, “Adam Cole, bay-bay!” Cassidy put Cole’s hands in his pockets, then took him down with a side headlock. Graphics advertised other matches on the show. Schiavone called it one of the biggest nights they’ve ever had. Taz agreed it’s a stacked line-up. Schiavone asked if Cole should wash his hair. “It’s just greasy,” he said. Taz said he’s one of the most handsome men on the roster.
They continued to battle back and forth for several minutes. Cassidy landed a tornado DDT for a near fall. Cassidy then climbed to the top rope, but The Young Bucks and Brandon Cutler walked out. Cassidy turned and leaped onto Cutler. Trent Barretta, Chuck Taylor, and Wheeler Yuta ran out to fend off the Bucks and Cutler. Cole threw Cassidy into the ringside steps twice, then lowered his kneepad. Cassidy moved, and Cole’s knee collided hard with the steps. As he writhed in pain, they cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]
During the break, they collided with simultaneous flying clotheslines mid-ring. After the break, Cassidy sat up and did a slo-mo noodle chop. Some fans popped. Cole hit Cassidy for real. Cassidy did a noodle punch. Cole then stood and elbowed him in the head. Cassidy did some slo-mo wet noodle kicks. Then he superkicked Cole. Taz said Cassidy does that stuff because it gets in his opponents’ heads and is like playing possum. Cole surprised him with a brainbuster suplex onto his knee for a two count. When Cole lifted Cassidy, Cassidy elbowed out of it. Cole came right back with a boot and Stun Dog Millionaire. Cassidy landed a top rope diving DDT for a near fall. Cassidy landed a Michinoku Driver a minute later for a near fall.
Cassidy walked to the ring apron and put on his sunglasses. Then he put his hands in his pockets and leaped off the top rope, but Cole superkicked him out of mid-air. Cole then hit a Panama Sunrise and put his hands in his trunks to mock Cassidy, which led to a two count. Schiavone said it was a lazy, cocky cover. Cole went for the Boom, but Cassidy ducked and landed Beach Break for a near fall. Cole rolled to the floor. Bobby Fish then ran to ringside. The crowd got excited about something off camera and Kyle O’Reilly showed up in the ring and attacked Cassidy from behind. Cole then landed the Boom for the win.
WINNER: Cole in 17:00.
-After the pin, O’Reilly entered the ring and mounted Cassidy. Cole pulled him away. They exchanged some heated words. Trent and Chuck ran out to the ring, so O’Reilly and Cole turned to fend them off. Fans began chanting “Undisputed.” Cole, Fish, and O’Reilly cleared the ring. Fish and O’Reilly delivered a high-low. Taz compared it to Total Elimination “from back in the day.” The Bucks then walked out. Matt and Nick asked Cole if he knew about O’Reilly. He said he knew. The Bucks’ body language suggested they weren’t pleased. Cole seemed slightly torn. Excalibur said Cole has a foot in two worlds. Schiavone said they should be able to coexist. Cole called for Fish and O’Reilly to follow him to the back. And they did.
(Keller’s Analysis: Really good match. Perhaps too good if the goal is to frame Cole as a world title level top tier centerpiece star. O’Reilly showing up surprised the Bucks more than probably most fans after the hint dropped last week and all the news about O’Reilly. I like the idea that the Bucks are jealous or feel upset that Cole didn’t tip them off.) [c]
-They announced “Hangman” Adam Page vs. Bryan Danielson in a rematch on the Jan. 5 debut of AEW Dynamite on TBS.
(Keller’s Analysis: That’s smart to have a big match on the first show on TBS.)
-Tony Schiavone interviewed Page mid-ring. He told Hangman he was on the verge of winning when time ran out. Hangman said he has never felt more disappointed than he did last week. “I have never in my three years in AEW felt less like a champion,” he said. Danielson interrupted. “Wait, wait, wait, wait…” he said over and over. He called Hangman the “entitled Millennial Cowboy” who still has the AEW Title belt over his shoulder, yet he’s disappointed. He said, in a mocking tone, “Oh, poor Cowboy. Let’s show all the people your emotions about how disappointed you are.” He said the AEW fans should be disappointed. Fans booed. “Because I kicked your ass for 60 minutes, and if anybody should be AEW Champion, it should be me.”
Bryan said he isn’t somebody who is going to come out there and cry about his feelings or tell people how sad he is. He said they have a rematch on Jan. 5 and he’ll kick his ass again. He said he managed to survive 60 minutes only because he hurt his leg against John Silver. He said he won’t make that mistake again. “I won’t wrestle in front of you idiots tonight,” he said. He added he won’t wrestle again until Jan. 5. He said if Hangman stalls for another 60 minutes so he can escape with the title, they’ll end up in the same position again – with the rightful champion standing there empty-handed “and that piece of Cowboy Shit standing there in the ring with the title.” He said he’s not an entitled millennial like so many of them. He said he proposed to AEW that on Jan. 5, they have judges so if it’s a draw because Hangman “stalls again,” everybody will see and know that the true AEW Champion is Bryan Danielson. Boos.
He told the fans that they’re idiots who certainly know he was the better man last week. Hangman said he thought of a lot of different options such as an Iron Man match or an Inferno match or a ladder match or a cage match or a match without a time limit. He said no one has taken him past the 30 minute mark before. He said he dragged him into deep waters and chomped away and tried to hold him under, but in the final seconds he swam. He said if he had just three more seconds, he would have drowned him. His voice got more intense as he said he’ll go with the idea of judges. He said he better pay them well in advanced, because they won’t need to judge. He said he has spilled far too much blood and come too far and given way too much of himself for some old prick to sit at ringside and tell him he isn’t good enough to be a champion or “tell me that I’m a B+ player; that’s horseshit.” He said if the question is whether he can beat Danielson in under an hour, in two weeks the answer will be yes. Fans chanted “Yes!” Hangman’s music played as he and Bryan stared at each other.
-Excalibur and Taz reacted to the segment.
-A segment aired with MJF, FTR, Shawn Spears, and Wardlow. MJF opened by saying he didn’t want a camera there, but whatever. He told Wardlow that he pays him a lot of money to protect him. Wardlow resentfully said, “Yep.” MJF said it’s C.M. Punk’s fault that there’s some tension among them. He said they are family, whereas Punk is a loner. He said he sees through Punk. He said everything needs to be about Punk, and when it’s not, that’s when the real Punk comes out to play. He said Punk is rustier than the knife Darby uses to skin small animals. He said the fake nice guy mask he’s rocking is beginning to slip off faster than Sting’s Crusty the Clown make-up. He said he chose early retirement when he turned down his handshake. Dax Harwood said they are the three kings of pro wrestling, and to be a king, you have to kill a king. He said they are a group and the absolute best unit in the world.
(Keller’s Analysis: How long has it been since Pinnacle were all gathered at once on TV? Good promo from MJF. It’s better to mix up the presentation of MJF’s promos with Punk, and another in-ring segment raises expectations for it to be epic, and it’d be hard to top their first exchange. This nicely set up the TV main event.) [c]
(2) WARDLOW (w/Shawn Spears) vs. “CAPTAIN” SHAWN DEAN
Excalibur noted that rankings reset at the start of the new year. He powerbombed Dean four times. Spears was telling him not to do it a fourth time. Wardlow stood on Dean’s chest to win. Wardlow then checked his catch to indicate how quickly he won. Spears bashed Dean with a chair afterward. Wardlow yanked his arm away from Spears as he tried to raise his arm.
WINNER: Wardlow in under 2:00.
-A vignette aired on Cody Rhodes challenging Sammy Guevara for the TNT Title on Christmas night on TNT.
-They went to the announcers on camera. Excalibur noted Rampage airs at 9 ET / 8 CT on Saturday. They were interrupted by Dan Lambert who was standing in a luxury suite with Ethan Page and Scorpio Sky. He said queens and kings of yesteryear knew their decisions over the lives of other people wasn’t just a great privilege, but a responsibility for great justice. He said he doesn’t expect fans to understand that since their biggest concern is running the latest software update on their phone or turning their lights off in their mom’s basement. He said he runs the most successful MMA gym, and every decision he makes must be fair to make a level playing field so the most successful are also the most deserving. He said Tony Khan represents the opposite side of that coin. He said if you’re his buddy, you become an EVP and have every chance to shine. He said if you’re not, it’s backstage promos and vignettes. He said Scorpio Sky pinned Chris Jericho twice, and Ethan Page has dressed, wrestled, and won better than anybody in the company so far. He said they’ll be watching Cody get yet another title shot on Saturday night.
He said the most blatant example of Tony setting someone up for failure is how he treats him. He said he wants him to get the fans to cheer for Cody. “How the hell am I going to do that when Cody is a bigger dick than I am!?” he asked. “News flash, I don’t give a damn who you cheer for or who you boo, or whether it’s Cody or Sammy standing tall on Christmas night.” He said all he cares about is one of his men getting the next title shot so they can bring the title back to American Top Team.
(Keller’s Analysis: The fans who are booing Cody are going to see that promo for what it was, another attempt to get Cody cheered without Cody actually addressing the problems that led to fans booing him. It’s not likely to work. The fans who are booing Cody think Lambert is an entertaining heel act. They’re not going to boo him and cheer Cody, especially when it seems to transparent that’s the goal here.)
-Britt Baker sat backstage in a festive Christmas-themed setting with Jamie Hayter and Rebel. Tony Schiavone asked her about facing Riho at Battle of the Belts, someone she has never defeated. Baker said she’s not sweating it because she’ll have Hayter by her side. Baker said 2021 was the era of the DMD. She said she didn’t slide in and take anyone’s spot. She said she built the division from the ground up and built her own throne. She said she was a pillar of the company and the pulse of AEW. She said she won’t let Riho dethrone her to start the year. She said all she wants is an AEW Title match, but she’s out of her league and will shoot her eye out.
-Excalibur hyped Nyla Rose vs. Ruby Soho was up next. [c]
-A video package aired on The Owen Hart Cup tournament. Mark Henry said Owen taught him a lot about how to get accepted in wrestling, including accepting getting ribbed, but rib them back. Adam Cole said Owen was one of the very best. Matt Hardy said his legacy is that smaller, more athletic wrestlers are truly important to the art of pro wrestling. Matt from 2point0 said Owen’s athleticism blew his mind. Eddie Kingston said the way he was raised, a real man takes care of his family, and Owen loved his kids and his wife. Dustin Rhodes said he’ll go down as one of the all-time greats. Henry said he’ll be remember as bringing fun and life to pro wrestling. Shawn Spears said he had a beautiful soul. Cole said his legacy will live on forever because you hear constantly about the type of man he was.
[HOUR TWO]
-Excalibur said they are so proud to be working with the Owen Hart Foundation. Taz called it a wonderful feature.
(3) NYLA ROSE (w/Vickie Guerrero) vs. RUBY SOHO – TBS Tournament Semi-Finals
Rose came out first. When Soho entered the ring, Rose jumped her. The ref INEXPLICABLY rewarded the pre-match attack by calling for the bell. (That’s so stupid.) Rose beat on Soho early. Her hand was stuck in her jacket sleeve. She frantically tried to get it off. Rose helped her. The fans applauded, perhaps mockingly. (That was all kinda funny, but I’m sure not for them.) Soho made an immediately comeback. Fans chanted “Ruby! Ruby!” briefly. Rose took over and pounded on Soho for a few minutes. Rose took the fight to ringside. Soho made a comeback including some headbutts. Rose avoided a charge by Soho, so Soho crashed into the ringside steps. They cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]
Rose beat up Soho during the break. Back from the break, Soho made a comeback. Rose absorbed two clotheslines, so Soho went to a series of kicks. Soho countered a slingshot move by Rose into a DDT for a near fall. Rose rolled to ringside. Soho landed a running dropkick off the ring apron into a chair Rose was holding, Van Daminator style. Excalibur said Rose brought the chair into the match, so it’s considered incidental contact and therefore Soho wouldn’t be DQ’d. When Soho climbed to the top rope, Vickie shoved her. Rose then pulled Soho over the top rope and then landed a flying kneedrop for a two count. Soho kicked out at two, but was clutching her shoulder. The announcers talked about her having surgery on that shoulder twice before.
Soho fought back, but Rose brushed her off and went for a slam. Soho converted her into a standing Dragon sleeper. Vickie DISTRACTED the referee. Soho round-kicked her in the head. Soho turned, but Rose gave her a Beast Bomb for a near fall. Soho yanked Rose off the top rope and connected with a kick to the head for the win. Soho cried afterward and seemed to be great pain. The ref checked on Ruby who was acting like she dislocated her shoulder in the match the way she clutched it close to her body. She hugged a kid at ringside before returning to the back.
WINNER: Soho in 15:00 to advance to the TBS Tournament Finals.
(Keller’s Analysis: A really good match. One of the better matches of each of their careers. Rose was believable in her fierce, methodical beating of Soho most of the way, and Soho’s comebacks were believable in part because Rose no-sold some of her offense, forcing Ruby to shift gears to other approaches that worked better..)
-A vignette aired on Serena Deeb. She said when she’s done with Hikaru Shida, she’ll be begging Tony Khan to keep her away from her in the future.
(Keller’s Analysis: Great intensity and deliver from Deeb there.)
(4) MALAKAI BLACK vs. GRIFF GARRISON (w/Brian Pillman Jr.)
Excalibur said Garrison is wearing his varsity jacket from high school just 20 minutes away. Malakai connected with a roundkick as Garrison charged at him at the start. Malakai slid to the floor and made a move toward Pillman. Garrison leaped through the ropes onto Malakai at ringside. Malakai quickly came back with a series of kicks and a leglock in the ring. Taz said Garrison is rangy. Garrison surprised Malakai with an elbow to the side of his head. He clutched his left knee in pain as he made the cover on Malakai. Black went after his knee and then landed a high knee. Garrison dropped to the mat. Malakai then applied a single-leg crab for the win.
WINNER: Malakai in 3:00.
-When Malakai didn’t release the hold after the bell, Pillman charged in and threw him off. Malakai then connected with his spinning hook kick to the face. [c]
-Highlights aired of last week’s Rampage that hinted strongly at a Jungle Boy & Luchasaurus vs. Lucha Brothers title match.
-Matt Hardy with Private Party said it was an adorable moment that JB & Luchasaurus had with the Lucha Brothers, so Isaih Kassidy is going to pound Jungle Boy’s ass. Hardy said if JB gets injured, their no. 1 contender status would be deleted. JB said if Hardy thinks they’re going to pound his ass on Christmas night, he’s wrong. He vowed to shove a lump of coal up his ass and he’ll be spitting up diamonds. Christian said they can wear as many watches as they want, but it’ll never be their time. He said Matt should get his guys something for Christmas. He plugged their limited-edition Christmas t-shirt.
-Excalibur plugged Hook vs. Bear Bronson, Leyla Hirsh vs. Kris Statlander, Sammy Guevara vs. Cody, and Kassidy vs. JB. They plugged the New Year’s Smash episode of Dynamite featuring the return of Jim Ross, plus Kingston & Santana & Ortiz vs. 2point0 & Danny Garcia, Thunder Rosa vs. Jade Cargill in the other TBS Tournament Semi-Finals, and Orange Cassidy & Best Friends vs. Cole & Fish & O’Reilly. Schiavone called them a “newly formed trio.”
(5) C.M. PUNK & STING & DARBY vs. MJF & FTR (Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler)
MJF made his way to the ring, A fan held up a sign that said MJF is a “South Pole Elf.” Taz said he’s a man of the people and so misunderstood. FTR then came out to their cheerfully upbeat Midnight Express tribute band theme song. Next, Sting was introduced as a legend and an icon. The screen noted he is 5-0 in AEW. Taz said Sting was wearing a C.M. Punk t-shirt. He said he’s the second-best seller in AEW Shop. “Yeah, I said it,” he chuckled. (His son Hook is the best seller. Who had that on their 2021 bingo card?) Darby came out next to his music. And finally Punk. Darby and Punk were both wearing Sting tribute facepaint. MJF started the match, but before locking up with Punk, he bailed out and laughed. Schiavone said he knew that would happen and called him a spineless piece of trash. Taz called it genius. A “C.M. Punk!” chant broke out as he faced off against Dax.
When MJF tagged in against Darby, Darby quickly tagged in Punk. MJF ran away and tagged in Cash. Punk then tagged in Sting, which got a nice pop. Cash rolled out of the ring to regroup when Sting went for a Scorpion Death Drop. Cash snapped Sting’s neck over the top rope as he re-entered the ring. Schiavone said he interviewed Sting in his first interview on TBS back in 1987. MJF tagged in and acted cocky after throwing some chops. Sting no-sold the chops, then kissed up to him. He tried to back away and make a tag, but Sting held on and gave MJF a short-arm clothesline. He immediately tagged in Punk, but MJF bailed out again. When Punk chased MJF, MJF leaped into the crowd and ran all the way up the stairs. Punk pursued him. (Please tell me they won’t have a bunch of cameras set up in the concourse with everyone moved out of the way by security. Because that’s what WWE would have done.) They ran back out through a different entry point and ran back to ringside. MJF stood next to FTR at ringside, opposite of Sting and Punk. Darby then dove through the ropes and rammed into FTR and MJF. They cut to a split-screen break. [c/ss]
The babyface trio beat up Cash during the break. Punk mounted Cash in the corner and punched away at him before scoring a two count. Back from the break, Darby was fending off FTR. Cash dropped him over the top rope. Darby tumbled hard to the floor. MJF threw Darby into the ringside barricade, then stomped away at him. He threw a battered Darby back into the ring where Dax took over on him. Darby eventually tagged Sting, who went work on FTR with a spinebuster and opposite corner running splashes. Cash charged, but Sting moved, so Cash splashed Dax. Darby then splashed them both. Punk charged with a running knee. Sting hit Dax with a Stinger Splash. When he went for a Scorpion Death Lock, Cash DISTRACTED the ref, then MJF broke up the hold. Dax covered Sting and got a two count. They cut to another partial split-screen break. [c/ss]
Back from the break, Cash had Sting in an abdominal stretch. Sting hip-tossed Cash off of him. It was awkward. Sting and Cash hit each other with clotheslines and both bumped to the mat. Dax tagged in and punched away at Sting in the corner. Dax charged with an attempt at his own Stinger Splash, but Sting caught him mid-air and bodyslammed him. Dax grabbed Sting’s ankle. Sting didn’t bump. Dax let go. Sting fell over. That was awkward, too. MJF tagged in. Sting slammed his head into the mat. Sting then fell with a headbutt onto MJF’s crotch. MJF crawled over and tagged in Cash. Punk also tagged in and went after FTR with rapid-fire offense. Then Punk bulldogged Dax as he bulldogged Cash. Punk dove through the ropes and tackled Dax at ringside. Punk hit Cash in the ring with a top rope crossbody for a two count. Punk stood and signaled for the Go To Sleep. Dax saved Cash and tagged in. Punk hit a neckbreaker for a two count on Dax.
Dax blocked Punk’s top rope move. Dax superplexed Punk, then Cash tagged in and landed a top rope splash from another corner for a near fall. Cash tagged Dax back in. Schiavone wondered where MJF went. Darby tackled Cash and they tumbled over the top rope to the floor. Punk rolled up Dax for a near fall. Something happened at ringside near the time keeper’s table that caused fans to gasp, but the director didn’t catch it. It involved MJF and Darby. In the ring, Punk and Dax fought on their knees, exchanging strikes. They stood and kept hitting each other. The crowd was into it. Punk lifted Dax for a GTS, but Cash re-entered the ring and interrupted it with their finisher. Sting made the save.
MJF re-entered the ring and DDT’d Sting. Sting popped up and surprised a gloating MJF. MJF tried to leave. Sting yanked the middle rope into MJF’s crotch. Sting arm-dragged MJF over the top rope onto FTR at ringside. MJF landed on his head. Yikes. The ref, Cash, and Dax all checked on him. He must’ve given indications he was fine. They all stood. Sting stood on the top rope and leaped onto all three heels with a body press at ringside. Fans stood and applauded. Sting threw MJF into the ring. Punk tagged in. Dax shoved MJF out of the ring. Punk gave him a GTS. Sting gave him a Scorpion Death Drop. Darby landed a Coffin Drop and got the three count.
As the babyfaces celebrated, MJF showed up at the announce desk claiming Punk tried to avoid him the whole match and he was a coward. (Funny.)
WINNERS: Punk & Darby & Sting in 26:00.
(Keller’s Analysis: That was a hell of a six-man tag. Just really smart use of all six personalities, including a diverse mix of ages and bodytypes on the babyface side. There were a few instances where I thought Sting was being overly ambitious and I started to fear he would hurt himself or someone else. Credit to him for pulling off all that he did, though. He could pass for 45 out there, to be honest. The heels were just top level here on all fronts. MJF was a great chicken shit heel. Dax and Cash were just perfect with their body language and selling. The story of the match felt substantial and well-though-out start to finish and was paced really well without being ridiculously frenetic. I’m glad MJF is okay.)
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.