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KELLER’S WWE RAW REPORT
DECEMBER 13, 2021
ST. PAUL, MINN. AT XCEL ENERGY CENTER
AIRED ON USA NETWORK
Commentators: Jimmy Smith, Byron Saxton, Corey Graves
[HOUR ONE]
-They opened with a video package on last week’s happenings with Big E vs. Kevin Owens in a cage, plus Bobby Lashley making his return.
-Jimmy Smith introduced the show as the camera panned the audience at Xcel Energy Center.
-Lashley walked out to his music in a red suit and white shirt alongside MVP, still sporting a cane. They went to the announcers on camera briefly who discussed how Lashley felt disrespected by not being included in the Day 1 main event situation.
Lashley began by saying last week he showed everyone what happens “when you disrespect The All Mighty.” Lashley said he is the single-most terrifying man in WWE, and he knows that because people are terrified to say his name. He said you say his name once, he will show up and then bad things happen. MVP said guys like Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins come out there whining, complaining, and backstabbing to get into a WWE Title match. He said Lashley never whines and complains, but rather he makes statements. He said it’s imperative that Lashley be added to the Day 1 PPV because there is no better way to start off the new year than with Lashley “as your All Mighty WWE Champion.” After a pause, KO’s music played.
Smith said Owens doesn’t want anyone crashing his party. Graves said KO “connived” his way into the match. KO said he isn’t disrespectful to them, and in fact he hasn’t paid any attention to anything they’ve said for two years. He said now they’re trying to weasel their way into his title match at Day 1. He said Seth earned his way into the title match at Day 1, just like he earned his way in also. “You have not earned your way into anything,” he said. He said he is doing this for the fans so they can have a good example leading WWE as champion. He said it’s hard enough to win a Triple Threat match against two top tier Superstars, so he doesn’t want Lashley added. He said he’d go to Adam Pearce and Sonya Deville. Seth’s music interrupted.
Seth walked out in a purple and black suit – purple head to toe in front, back head to toe in the back – with a black shirt. Seth told Lashley he admires the suit game he has going on there. He said he has to take Owens’ side even though he despises him. As Seth and KO argued over whose title match it is at Day 1, Lashley told them to come in the ring and stop him from entering their match. KO and Seth looked at each other, then KO pitched to Seth “he can’t take us.” Seth agreed. KO told Seth to go first, so he’ll be right behind him. Seth said he’s in a suit. KO said Seth is faster than him. MVP told Seth that if Bobby hits him, KO will run. KO and Seth said they didn’t hear what MVP said. Big E’s music interrupted.
Big E said, “Well, if it isn’t my favorite collection of idiots.” He said while they might be quaking in their boots at being in the ring with Lashley, he wanted to remind them he beat Lashley to become champion. Lashley said he was injured. Big E said, “Hush.” He said he also beat him inside of a cage and he has no problem doing it one more time.
Pearce and Deville walked out and said nobody is going to put a hand on anyone else, and they aren’t afraid to hand out fines and suspensions. Deville said Lashley is officially added to the title match at Day 1. MVP interrupted. Pearce said he has to let them finish. He said Lashley has to defeat, in no particular order, Big E, KO, and Seth. He said he has to defeat all three one-on-one “here tonight.” MVP excitedly said Lashley accepts.
-They went to the announcers at ringside. Smith said it’s an impossible task, no matter how impressive Lashley is. Graves said that’s three elite-level wrestlers he’s facing. Then Smith threw to Riddle doing commentary last week.
-A clip aired from earlier in the day where Randy Orton asked Riddle why he still has the tan blazer hanging in the locker room. Riddle said he’s got a lot of new ideas from watching a lot of tape. Orton said he hopes he’s been watching tapes of their potential opponents at Day 1 rather than just watching tapes while wearing the blazer. Riddle admitted he changes what he watches a lot and has a short attention span. Orton said those titles need to be at the top of Riddle’s list of priorities. Riddle said they should become podcasters next. He brought up Pat McAfee’s latest deal and said they could be swimming in cash. Orton said there will be no podcasting, and he told him to stop hanging out with jackasses. Riddle said knows Orton was impressed with the cast of “Jackass.” Orton said Riddle is a jackass, so he should have been in the movie, but this is reality. He said he has to face Otis tonight, so focus 100 percent on him, and then one day in the distant future, he will allow him to put the blazer back on.
-Riddle and Orton made their way to the ring side-by-side with the tag titles. [c]
-Sonya and Pearce tried to talk some calm into Seth, KO, and Big E backstage. They said the odds are against Lashley. Pearce told KO since he entered the match last, he should wrestle Lashley first. KO didn’t like that, but then talked himself into it being okay. He said he’ll beat Lashley, “and that’s no lie.” Seth hung his head in despair. KO left. Seth said, “Well, I better go get changed.” Big E said one way or another, he’ll walk out of Day 1 still WWE Champion.
(1) RIDDLE (w/Randy Orton) vs. OTIS (w/Chad Gable)
They aired the end of Otis’s ring entrance with Gable. Gable annoyed Orton with his cheerleading at ringside. Early, Otis caught Riddle leaping off the ring apron at him. Then he ran and rammed Riddle into the corner of the barricade. They cut to an early break. [c]
Riddle made a comeback after the break. Riddle landed a top rope twisting bodypress to take Otis to the mat. “I can’t believe it!” Smith said, “Otis is off his feet.” Riddle celebrated and played up that he was going to do the RKO. Otis blocked it and powerslammed Riddle for the three count.
WINNER: Otis in 8:00.
-After the match, Orton set up an RKO on Otis, but Otis pushed out of it. Orton turned and gave a quick RKO to Gable instead. Otis then hit Orton with a back elbow. Graves said it was an impressive display of dominance by Otis. Saxton said this is an example of the transformation Otis has gone through.
(Keller’s Analysis: Having Riddle lose that decisively and quickly to Otis as a way to build to a tag team title match feels like a heavy price to pay in terms of defining down Riddle. That said, Riddle was portrayed more hapless against Omos, and it seems WWE’s feeling is Riddle is Teflon because of his personality, and they can rely on short memories and shift him into a higher gear later if they want. It’s good to see that Otis is still somewhat on WWE’s radar for being treated seriously because he is good at what he does.)
-Bianca Belair made her ring entrance. A soundbite aired with Belair who talked about Doudrop attacking her for weeks behind her back. She said she better her watch because she won’t let her walk away from the fact that she can’t whoop her because she’s the EST of WWE. [c]
(2) DOUDROP vs. BIANCA BELAIR
As Doudrop made her way to the ring, an inset interview aired with Doudrop who said it’s time for someone to take the spotlight away from Belair. Saxton said she had that chance last week, but instead she ran because she felt overwhelmed. Graves said that might be true, but she has another chance this week. Saxton and Graves argued as the match began. Graves said the record books will show Doudrop lost by countout, not decisively. Doudrop caught Belair’s legs against the ropes on a scissors attempt and twisted them. Then she kicked her in the face and landed a flying elbow drop. Smith said Doudrop “destroyed the intestines” of Belair. They cut to a break. [c]
Doudrop climbed to the top rope, but Belair recovered and knocked her off balance. Then she powerbombed her to the mat. Graves said Doudrop’s skull bounced off the canvas. Belair then leaped off the top rope with a 450 splash for the three count.
WINNER: Belair in 11:00.
-As Belair celebrated on the stage, Doudrop attacked her. She mocked Belair by slapping her own ass.
(Keller’s Analysis: Good match. Belair should win clean at this point, but Doudrop overall was presented as a serious wrestler nearly at Belair’s level, which if nothing else could make her an effective gatekeeper going forward.)
-Kevin Patrick interviewed KO and asked for a word from him going into his match against Lashley. KO said it’s trash that this opportunity is even being given to Lashley, and it’s a trash he is going first, and St. Paul is trash. (Boos!) He said he’ll put an end to this right away, then go on to win the WWE Title at Day 1, “and that is no lie.”
-KO made his ring entrance. [c]
-They aired scenes of Xcel Energy Center and St. Paul, Minn. Actually, NO THEY DIDN’T. They aired an aerial overview of MINNEAPOLIS, MINN. Minneapolis and St. Paul are two separate cities, different mayors, and completely different downtowns separated by 10 miles. They each have their own suburbs, too! At least they showed Xcel Energy Center instead of Target Center. This isn’t a case of St. Paul being a suburb of Minneapolis or a first-rung suburb. It’s an co-equal partner in the Twin Cities, so to show the Minneapolis skyline identified as St. Paul, when St. Paul has it’s own riverfront skyline and great architectural history, it’s just sloppy and inaccurate. (It’d be like showing downtown San Francisco put putting the graphic “San Jose” on the screen, or showing downtown Tampa with a graphic that said “Miami, Fla.” on it.) Smith added that they were in the home of the Minnesota Wild NHL hockey team. They got that right.
-Smith said the NCAA allows athletes to make use of their name, image, and likeness, and WWE has started a Next In Line program to showcase college athletes. They showed images of A.J. Ferrari, Aleeya Hitchins, Carlos Aviles, Dalton Wagner, Glen Logan, Haley Cavinder, Hanna Cavidner, Isaac Odugnesan, Joe Spivak, John Krahn, Jon Seaton, Lexi Gordon, Masai Russell, Mason Parris, and Riley White. Smith said they are future stars he can’t wait to see in the ring in WWE.
-They showed Gable Steveson in the front row. He showed off his Olmpic Gold Medal from the front row, and then posed as if he was going to bite down on the medal.
(Keller’s Analysis: I remember sitting a few seats away from Brock Lesnar when he was first introduced at a WWE event in Minnesota as an NCAA Champion and future WWE Superstar.)
(3) BOBBY LASHLEY vs. KEVIN OWENS
Owens got in some early offense and tossed a charging Lashley over the top rope to the floor. Then he went for a running flip senton at ringside, but Lashley moved and KO went splat instead. They showed Seth backstage cheering on a KO comeback a minute later including a two count after a corner cannonball. They showed Big E watching from a sarcastically sharp side angle to the monitor while pretending to feverishly take notes on a pad. (Funny.)
Owens barely got a two count after a tornado DDT off the middle rope. A graphic hyped a Miz TV segment later with Maryse. Owens did a Flair flip into the corner turnbuckles. Lashley gave KO a neckbreaker mid-ring, then hoisted him in the air and almost lost his grip as he slammed him to the mat. KO rolled up Lashley with a surprise two count. Lashley blocked a stunner and landed a spinebuster. Next, he applied the Hurt Lock. Well, KO tapped even before it was locked on. KO slipped out of the ring. Lashley shot him a quizzical look. Smith said it wasn’t a satisfying win for Lashley, but he still moves on.
WINNER: Lashley in 5:00.
-Seth was fuming mad that KO didn’t even try. Deville informed Seth he was up next. [c]
-They aired a video package on last week’s Becky Lynch win over Liv Morgan, including a shot of the angry girl in the crowd.
-Becky made her ring entrance. [c]
-Becky said it’s a big night for St. Paul now that Big Time Becks is in the building. Becky asked the fans if they remembered how they wanted her to come back, but then suddenly they have a ton of opinions on how she does her job. She said they never wrestled and they never broke down gender barriers and left at the height of their career and came back better than ever. She said you have to evolve or get left behind and let your fans down. She showed the image of that girl last week who looked sternly angry after Liv’s loss.
Liv interrupted and said from the stage that people are tired of her sounding like a broken record. She walked toward the ring and said Becky almost lost to her last week and had to cheat to win because she doubted her abilities. She showed the image of Becky holding the bottom rope during her three count win last week. She said the only thing Becky is the best at is cheating to win. A little girl was yelling right next to Liv in view of the camera, “Becky rules!” Liv didn’t change positions. Liv said she knows she can beat her. “If anything, you reminded me of why our story isn’t over.” She said she won’t ever give up until she can make that title mean something again to fans like that little girl. She said if she is really Big Time Becks, she’d accept her challenge for a rematch at Day 1.
Becky smiled through it all and said she didn’t do that because she had to, she did it because it was easy. She said she shouldn’t blame her for grabbing the ropes, she should blame herself for not doing it first. She said if she was ready, she would have known she was going to do that and stopped her. She said she did the same thing she always does – absolutely nothing. Liv charged to the ring and attacked Becky with a barrage of strikes followed by a barbaric shriek. Becky rolled to ringside, then shoved Liv into the ringside steps. She went after her arm against the steps. Then she said if Liv can wrestle, she can have the title match. She said since no one left is able-bodied, she’s going home to her “hot husband” and baby. She told Liv to ice her arm. Becky left as her music played.
-The announcers commented on the tag tournament matches last week, including Omos walking away frustrated with Styles.
-Backstage, Sarah Schreiber asked Styles about his situation with Omos. Styles said they had their issues last week, but Omos was disrespectful. He said it was just growing pains, but you don’t just give up on a team as special as them. He said he’s been around a long time, but he’s never seen someone like Omos. He said as soon as he saw Omos, he saw it as an investment, but now he realizes he’s a good kid whom he wants to see succeed. Omos walked up behind Styles and put his arm around him. Omos said, “Are we good?” Styles said, “We’re golden. I’m not giving up on this team.” Omos said, “I’m not either.”
-Finn Balor made his ring entrance. The announcers hyped the tag match up next. [c]
-A graphic touted Montez Ford enlisted in the U.S. Marine Corps and accumulated a perfect 300 score on the physical fitness test. He performed a 5-2 box jump and a 10-10 broad jump.
-They showed Dana Brooke and Reggie walking in Rice Park in St. Paul, Minn just a couple blocks from Xcel Energy Center. Reggie offered to give Dana some tips on being champion and offered to do so over some hot chocolate. R-Truth was there in his usual costume. Akira Tozawa was dressed as a snowman. Tamina attacked Dana. Dana fought back and then Dana fled. She springboarded over a pile of snow followed by Reggie. You could hear both of them launch off the springboard. Tamina told Truth and Tozawa to mind their own business.
-Smith said he has fallen three times walking on the snow and ice today. Graves said of all the things he’s seen, “this is certainly the most recent.”
(4) DAMIAN PRIEST & FINN BALOR vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER & ROBERT ROODE
A minute in, Priest rallied against both heels in the ring, then kicked Roode to ringside. He tossed Ziggler over the top rope next. When they stood, Priest leaped off the ringside steps and tackled them both. They cut to an early break as Priest pounded his chest. [c]
Balor had control of Ziggler when Austin Theory showed up and stood on the ring apron to take a selfie. Balor stopped his ascent to the top rope to knock him off the ring apron. Ziggler then caught a DISTRACTED Balor with a Zig Zag. Theory then took a selfie of himself and a fallen Balor in the background.
WINNERS: Ziggler & Roode in 8:00.
-Nikki A.S.H. walked up to Rhea Ripley backstage and told Ripley to go win because she can, unlike her. Ripley wasn’t having her pity party. She told Nikki to snap out of it. Ripley said she wanted to team with her because of the fire inside her and that she never gives up. Nikki looked rejuvenated said she has her back. Ripley said she’s happy about that. Nikki said before they know it, they’ll have the tag titles again.
-Ripley made her ring entrance with Nikki by her side. [c]
-Zelina made her ring entrance after the break alongside Carmella. Zelina touted Carmella as “the most beautiful woman in all of WWE.” She said, “As your queen, I feel it is my royal duty to brace this frozen tundra with my presence. I will accept my applause now.” (Everyone is Minnesota today was talking about how nice the weather was for this time of year.) She said she will show why some people deserve to be on top while others deserve to be buried under a snow pile in a flyover state like Minnesota. (Boos!) Graves said some find Carmella “offensively beautiful.” Saxton said he’ll stick with just “offensive.”
(5) RHEA RIPLEY (w/Nikki A.S.H.) vs. QUEEN ZELINA (w/Carmella)
Carmella stood on the ring apron to yell at Ripley in the opening seconds, but Nikki yanked her down. When Carmella ran into the ring, Nikki hit her. Ripley checked on Nikki, and then Zelina kicked her from behind and rolled her up for a leverage three count. Smith said that has to be considered a gigantic upset. Graves said it was all Nikki’s fault; he called her an anchor. Nikki looked like self-doubt had returned.
WINNER: Zelina in under 1:00.
-Seth was all wound up backstage. KO told him to lower his blood pressure and offered to join him at ringside. Seth said he doesn’t want him anywhere near him since he just gave up. KO said there’s no getting out of a Hurt Lock, so why let him lock it on just weeks before his title match. He said that was smart and thus he should follow his advice. Seth said his ideas don’t work out well for him, so he implored him to stay backstage. KO told him it was a mistake as he walked away. [c]
(6) BOBBY LASHLEY (w/MVP) vs. SETH ROLLINS
Seth made his ring entrance. A few minutes in, as Seth was in pain at ringside, KO ran out and punched Seth in the face. The ref called for the DQ, giving Seth the DQ win. MVP protested the decision vehemently.
Seth stood and celebrated. Deville and Pearce walked out. They said it was clever and he did actually win the match, but it won’t go that way in St. Paul. Pearce said he’s restarting the match, and it’ll be no DQ as will any other matches Lashley has tonight.
The bell rang and Lashley caught an unsuspecting Seth with a spear for a quick three count.
WINNER: Lashley in 3:00.
-Backstage Vince McMahon was chatting with Apollo Crews and Commander Azeez. Theory ran into the office excitedly and said he did the unexpected earlier with Balor. McMahon asked if he wants a pat on the back or a trophy or maybe his autograph. Theory said, “Okay.” He said he’d rather have a match where he could really show him what he’s capable of. McMahon said he barged into his office while he was talking to someone important, and he’s acting like they’re friends. He said he wants to feel that way. Theory began talking, but McMahon snapped, “Shut up!” McMahon said, “You’re not my friend, because I don’t have any friends; I don’t want any friends.” He said he hasn’t impressed him. He told him he’s going to use one of the most deadly weapons in the world. He opened a drawer and pulled out a pencil. Theory was petrified. He said he didn’t understand. McMahon showed him the eraser side. Theory said, “Okay.” They cut away before McMahon explained himself.
-Maryse made her ring entrance. [c]
-Miz TV: Miz talked about how hot Maryse was. He said only someone as hot as her can make a cold Minnesota night feel like paradise. (It was 44 degrees and sunny in St. Paul, and all WWE can do is make a big issue of this “extreme” weather.) He then threw to a video that announced he’d be entered into the 2022 class of the WWE Hall of Fame. It showed clips of him as a kid and then big moments in his career. The narrator was reading a script that felt written by Miz, gushing about him in an over-the-top way. Then the narrator gushed about Maryse and their baby.
Saxton told Graves to stop clapping and said it’s ridiculous. Miz and Maryse were all teared up. Miz toasted the chance to send Edge back into retirement. Graves said he doesn’t recall anyone inducting themselves into the Hall of Fame. Edge then interrupted. Saxton thanked him “for ending this absurdity.” Edge entered the ring and said sometimes the squeaky wheel just squeaks over and over and over. Miz told him to stop. Edge asked if that was annoying. Miz said yes. Edge said know he knows how everyone feels when Miz talks.
Edge told Miz if he’d just shut up, people would give him the respect he thinks he deserves. He said Miz does all this “me first” stuff because he’s actually insecure and afraid. Miz said he was afraid of Edge years ago, but not this version of Edge. Edge said he knows Miz is a future Hall of Famer and he will have his hands full at Day One. He said he will have to teach Miz a lesson. Plus he wants to “knock that stupid constipated look off your face.” Miz attacked Edge with a barrage of punches. Edge gave Miz a DDT, then destroyed the Miz TV set. Edge almost ran into Maryse when Miz pulled her in front of him, but Edge stopped. Miz then gave a DISTRACTED Edge a Skull Crushing Finale. Maryse looked shaken up. Miz asked what was wrong. Maryse took issue with him using her as a shield. Miz tried to talk his way out of it. Maryse slapped him hard and then left. Miz pursued Maryse as she stormed to the back.
-Backstage, KO and Seth approached Big E and said they know he can win. KO chanted “Big… E Rocks!” Big E told them he doesn’t want or need their help. He said he will beat Lashley without them. He told them to stay far, far away. KO said he made a powerpoint on his phone to help him. (Timely.)
-They showed MVP gave Lashley a pep talk backstage. [c]
-The announcers threw to a Smackdown recap video package.
-They went to the announcers at ringside who recapped the events leading up to the main event.
-Schreiber interviewed MVP and Lashley backstage about the main event. Lashley said everyone’s New Year’s Resolution will be to bow down to The All Mighty.
-Big E’s ring entrance took place. [c]
(7) BOBBY LASHLEY vs. BIG E – No DQ match
Lashley’s ring entrance aired after the break. They incorporated tables and chairs early. Big E landed a running splash for a two count. Then he threw Lashley shoulder-first into a chair wedged in the corner. They cut to a break. [c]
Lashley took over after the break. He set up a table at ringside, but Big E punched Lashley a few times and tried to knock him off the ring apron through the table, but Lashley blocked him. Lashley then slammed Big E through a table in the ring leading to a near fall. They cut to another break. [c]
Lashley was in control after the break. Big E, though, made a comeback and slammed Lashley onto the base of the ringside steps. Back in the ring, Lashley surprised Big E with a Hurt Lock attempt. Big E powered out. Lashley speared Big E a second later. Seth and KO charged in and attacked Lashley. Smith emphasized this is a no DQ match “and this match is still very much active.” He said they’re acting in their own self-interests. Big E beat up Seth. KO attacked Big E. Lashley got up and went after KO and Seth. Lashley and Seth fought in one corner as KO knocked Big E to the floor. Big E one-arm slammed KO through the table. Lashley speared Seth through the table in the corner. MVP hit Big E in his leg with his cane from behind. Big E went down like he was shot in the leg. Lashley speared him and scored the three count.
WINNER: Lashley in 18:00 to earn a slot in the Day 1 main event WWE Title match.
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