SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
MIZ & MRS. TV REVIEW
APRIL 12, 2021
AIRED ON USA NETWORK
The show opens at Manor MarMiz. Mike is trying to conduct a phone interview, and can’t find a room in the house to be alone in. He hides in a child’s play house. Two minutes into the show and we get George.
There are handyman shenanigans, and it involves water. They’re replacing a chandelier. In the process of such, Mike learns there is a secret room. Maryse comes home to berate Mike about the sprinkler. Mike then makes her open a box with a glitter bomb. I feel I’m about to witness a justifiable homicide. Okay, that doesn’t happen. Instead, we get a visit from John Morrison.
Mike has decided that when Maryse says “don’t help me” what she means is “please help me.” “Neuro-linguistic programming,” yes, Morrison really said that. Also, pretty sure they both got misty-eyed for Calvin Klein ads from the ’90s. I’m GenX, I remember those things. Anyway, you know that whatever they come up with, Maryse is not using that for the skincare line that she cannot pronounce in English. Commercial.
Ha ha, one of Maryse’s commercials airs during the break. There’s a lot of petal pink background. Pretty sure Miz and Morrison didn’t contribute to it. Anyway, for real there is a sign in this house that says “MarMiz” in giant letters. Wow.
Mike retreats to his secret room. He has a drum kit in there. He’s making noise. Marjo can hear it. She freaks out. She gets George; he freaks out too. They make Maryse come home from her meeting to investigate. Miz, Maryse, George, and Marjo argue about whether there were or were not noises. Miz lies about being the culprit.
So, Morrison returns to show the Mizanin family the commercial he and Miz made. It’s black and white, and kind of like something you’d expect from SNL’s “Sprockets.” Maryse is horrified by the commercial. “Please just let me do my own thing; don’t try to help me,” was Maryse’s response to the commercial. As a woman, I assure you all: That was not a cry for help. Commercial.
Maryse is outside doing a photo shoot. So, Miz goes to his secret room to hide out. The sprinklers come on. Maryse is soaking wet. She calls Miz who doesn’t answer, and his ring tone leads her to the secret room. She is not delighted. Miz makes a comment about people thinking the girl from “The Ring” is hot because Maryse is soaking wet with mascara dripping down her face. Commercial. Allegedly next week is the vasectomy episode.
Maryse does an indoor photo shoot. Yes, the petal pink background makes an appearance. Miz is apparently being kicked out of the secret room. He has a box of stuff like he’s been fired from an office. Maryse is allowing him to keep his man cave. Maryse gives him a gift. No, glitter doesn’t shoot out of the tube. It’s a poster of a photo shoot that she did way back when in WWE when the “Divas” imitated Baywatch. Yes, as a wrestling fan I recognize this from the magazine.
Maryse then has a Zoom meeting. They liked her commercial ideas. Mike comes into the kitchen after the Zoom meeting to congratulate her. There is a “pounding the skins” drum and masturbation innuendo. With that, the show ends.
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