SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
KELLER’S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
MARCH 19, 2021
ST. PETERSBURG, FLA. AT TROPICANA FIELD (“THUNDERDOME”)
AIRED ON FOX BROADCAST NETWORK
Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves
Ring Announcers: Greg Hamilton
[HOUR ONE]
-The announcers hyped Edge vs. Jey Uso, touting it as Edge’s first match on Smackdown in ten years.
-They went backstage where Sasha Banks and Bianca Belair were standing close to each other having a heated discussion. Belair said it was a mistake giving Nia Jax this title match tonight. She said Reginald is still in her head. “Don’t think I’m going to come out there and save you,” Belair said. Sasha said she didn’t ask for help, then she made her way onto the stage.
(1) SASHA BANKS vs. NIA JAX (w/Shayna Baszler) – WWE Smackdown Women’s Title match
They showed an image of Reginald getting spa treatment tonight, courtesy of Nia Jax. He had cucumbers on his eyes. Graves said he’s still curious what the story is between Sasha and Reginald. He said it was his idea to have this match. Cole said this could affect Fastlane and WrestleMania. Graves said this could be a giant trap. Banks went for an early Bank Statement after a bulldog, but Jax powered out and knocked Sasha hard to the ground. Jax squashed Banks in the corner and then press-slammed her leading to a two count. Grave said her cover was arrogant and she should have pressed harder and hooked a leg. She landed an elbow drop for another two count. Jax landed a Samoan Drop for another two count. Belair’s music played. Jax got up and complained to the ref. Belair gave Sasha a pep talk and said, “You got it!” Sasha was struggling to regain her senses as they cut to a break. [c]
Back from the break, Jax gave Sasha a stretch muffler and swung her into the bottom turnbuckle for a near fall. Sasha went for a sunset flip, but Jax blocked and sat down. Sasha moved and landed a reverse Meteora for a near fall. Cole wondered if that was Sasha’s last gasp. Baszler and Belair got into a shoving match at ringside. They entered the ring. The ref focused on getting Belair out of the ring. Baszler tried to kick Sasha as the ref was distracted, but she kicked Jax instead. Belair threw Baszler out of the ring. Sasha scored a three count with a jackknife cover.
WINNER: Banks in 10:00 to retain the Smackdown Title.
-They replayed the Baszler kick. Graves said he wanted to take another look and wondered if Baszler didn’t intentionally kick Jax. “Time will clearly tell,” he said.
(Keller’s Analysis: Hmmm. Interesting that all the Reginald talk didn’t lead to him being involved, but I suppose he was busy at a spa treatment. The idea that Baszler might be taking out anger at Jax for being so interested in Reginald could be at play here. It did look suspiciously not accidental.)
-A sponsored recap aired of the Roman Reigns-Daniel Bryan contract signing last week.
-Kayla Braxton interviewed Edge backstage. She asked how it feels to be having a match on Smackdown for the first time in a decade. He said some of his greatest moments happened on this show, but the worst moment also happened when he relinquished his title. He said tonight feels surreal, but it also feels right. He said he thinks Daniel Bryan needs to get a fair shake at Fastlane, and if he’s not out there, he doesn’t think he does. He said he can forgive him for the running knee because he would have done the same thing. He said he thinks Jey Uso can be one of the greatest talents in this industry, but not while he’s walking in the shadow of Reigns.
(Keller’s Analysis: That’s the likable, sage-like Edge that can help sell his WrestleMania match against Reigns starting next week.)
-The ring entrance took place for Seth Rollins. Cole hyped tickets going on sale today for WrestleMania. Graves said they won’t last long. Cole said tickets “are flying out the window.” Seth was dressed weird with a light-up jacket and strutted oddly around the ring. [c]
-A clip aired of Edge & Hulk Hogan 19 years ago on Smackdown winning the tag team titles.
-They went to the announcers who said Hulk Hogan “will be teaming up with Titus O’Neal to host” WrestleMania.
(Keller’s Analysis. The reputation-conscious pairing of those two is so transparent.)
-Backstage, Jax told Baszler if she pulls something like that on Sunday and costs them the championships, she’s coming for her. Baszler apologized. Jax said she doesn’t want to hear she’s sorry, she wants to know what she’s going to do about it. Baszler said she’s going to call out Belair for a match and kick her head off and give her the nastiest beating of her life. They zoomed in on Baszler and didn’t show Jax’s reaction.
-Seth’s music finished playing. Standing mid-ring, he said he recently made his triumphant return to Smackdown, and the entire Smackdown locker room came to the ring to greet him at ringside like a king. He said when they all turned their backs on him, he respected their decision to be idiots, but one person took disrespect too far. He said he humiliated and embarrassed him, and he finally figured out he did it because he is jealous of him. He said he’s jealous that he is successful at everything he does and is loved wherever he goes, whereas Cesaro is an abject failure. He said he’s a fighter, not a failure. He said if you knock him down, he stands right back up. They went to a clip of Seth beating down Cesaro last week on Smackdown. Back in the ring, Seth was laughing uproariously and asked what is keeping him down. He said maybe he was having a hard time standing up for himself because of all of those years running around and reaching and reaching for that brass ring. He got serious and said he will never let Cesaro embarrass or disrespect him like that again. He said Cesaro is the biggest waste of potential in WWE.
Shinsuke Nakamura walked onto the stage. Seth complained about him disrespecting him with an interruption. He threatened to do to him what he did to Cesaro, but ten-fold. Seth first threatened him if he didn’t stop, but then kissed up to him when he entered the ring. He said he knows he’s a better man than Cesaro. Shinsuke told him to shut up. Seth went after Nakamura, but Nakamura ducked and Seth bailed out. Seth charged back in, and Nakamura gave him a Kinshasa kick.
(Keller’s Analysis: It’s hard to imagine Seth Rollins ever being a cheered babyface again after that performance, if people remember it. I know memories are short in pro wrestling. He really turned up the obnoxious sleaze factor really high.)
-They went to Cole and Graves at ringside who said Eric Bischoff was being inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame Class of 2021.
-The Street Profits made their ring entrance. It rained red plastic cups. [c]
-They aired a clip of last week’s eight-man tag match.
(2) THE STREET PROFITS vs. DOMINICK & REY MYSTERIO
Robert Roode and Dolph Ziggler joined in on commentary. A few minutes in Rey tagged in Dominik who landed a nice head scissors off the middle rope. Ford came right back with a hard clothesline and scored a two count. Rey broke up the Street Profits finisher. Dominik rolled up Angelo Dawkins for a leverage pin. Ziggler and Roode celebrated.
WINNERS: The Mysterios in 4:00.
-Afterward, Chad Gable and Otis walked out and asked if they really think that victory puts them ahead of them for a tag team title shot. Gable called Rey “shortly” and chuckled. Gable put his arm around Otis’s neck and bragged about Otis squashing them like a pancake. They turned to talk to the Profits at ringside, so the Mysterios attacked them from behind and dove at them at ringside. They cut to an abrupt break. [c]
(3) DOMINIK & REY MYSTERIO vs. CHAD GABLE & OTIS
Cole said this match was made during the break. The Street Profits joined everyone else on commentary. Rey climbed to the top rope a couple minutes in, but Otis yanked him off the top rope. Ziggler talked a lot about Oral Roberts and Ohio State throughout this and the last match. Dominik and Gable tagged in a minute later. Dominik hit a tornado DDT. Otis broke up the cover. Rey went after Otis at ringside. Otis threw Rey into the barricade. Dominik set up Gable for a 619. Dominik did it in slo-mo. Graves, in his best line ever, said apparently that skill “skips a generation.” Gable caught him and gave him a German suplex. Otis tagged in and landed a second rope splash for the win.
WINNERS: Otis & Gable in 5:00.
-Cole told WWE Network subscribers to “keep doing what you’re doing” to watch Fastlane on Sunday, but said Peacock is the exclusive home for WrestleMania.
-Backstage Sami Zayn asked Kevin Owens if he’s decided whether he wants to be part of his documentary. Owens said he’s still not sure. Sami said it’s going to be huge. Owens asked if he’s considered that he’s twisting reality so it fits his narrative. He said he’s known for a long time and he’s never heard him acknowledge that when something goes wrong, it’s his fault. Sami said he can’t believe he can’t see the truth even when it’s staring at him. He invited him to stand at ringside for his match against King Corbin. Owens agreed. Sami said he is sure he’ll see something suspicious, and if he doesn’t, he’ll drop everything. He sounded like he’d be “very reasonable” about all this.
-Daniel Bryan came out in street clothes for a promo as his music played. They plugged WrestleMania tickets again. [c]
[HOUR TWO]
-The announcers plugged Fastlane.
-Bryan stood in the ring and talked about Edge vs. Jey Uso as the TV main event tonight. He talked about Edge being an ultimate opportunist who will do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and what he wants most is to face Reigns one-on-one at WrestleMania. He said he knows why. He said Edge doesn’t want to face him because he thinks he can beat Reigns. He said the difference between them is while Edge thinks he can beat Reigns, he knows that he can beat Reigns just like he tapped out his cousin Jey Uso.
Reigns and Paul Heyman walked out to Reigns’s music. Graves said Reigns has a smirk on his face and he wondered what is on the champion’s mind. Reigns laughed that Bryan said he is going to make him tap out. He said that’s a lie. He said he doesn’t have a chance to tap him out. He told Heyman he has a better chance of shooting lighting out of his ass or growing wings and flying away. He said nobody in his career has ever tapped him out. He said he’d rather lose his arm than tap out to any man. He said he’d rather die in the ring than tap out to somebody like him. His look got really serious.
Bryan said, “Rather die? That’s pretty strong.” He said those things he tells himself about being the head of the table are all lies and delusions. He said everybody thinks they’re invincible until they’re not and unbeatable until they lose and un-tapout-able until they tap out. He said he won’t just make him tap, he’ll break him of his beliefs and everything he thinks he is. He said he hopes he doesn’t die, but if he taps out or doesn’t tap out, he is beating him for the Universal Title at Fastlane.
(Keller’s Analysis: Bryan is so good, and shows how effective being a real, regular good guy in the midst of everything else in WWE can be so effective. Reigns was great here, too, although the “lightning shooting out your ass” line felt out of character for him to say.)
-They went to the announcers who hyped the main event between Jey and Edge. Then they shifted to a video package on Sami vs. Corbin.
-A video package called it “the least anticipated match… that no one asked for… and unfortunately there must be a winner, but thankfully there will be loser when King Corbin takes on Sami Zayn next.” [c]
(4) KING CORBIN vs. SAMI ZAYN
KO was on commentary. Sami used an eye poke to get an advantage. Sami tried to cheat with his feet on the ropes during a cover and also removing a turnbuckle, but the ref stopped him. Corbin came back with an End of Days for a decisive quick win. Cole asked KO if he saw anything suspicious. KO said he saw great officiating. Graves said that’s what someone who is part of a conspiracy would say.
WINNER: Corbin in 2:00.
-Sami attacked Owens after the match with a Helluva Kick to the side of his head. He said he’s not crazy, he’s blind. He said he thought he was smarter than that. Cole said Sami is delusional and has completely lost it. Sami’s documentary crew followed him to the back.
-They showed Big E and Apollo Crews being mic’d up for a split-screen interview next. [c]
-A video recap aired of the Big E-Apollo Crews saga.
-Crews and Big E were on a split-screen and mic’d up in separate rooms backstage. Cole asked if they can settle their differences. Big E said he wants vengeance, and Crews has two days until Fastlane. He said if he were him, he’d take these two days and appreciate the crispness of the March air and the normal function of his limbs. He said he’d take those two short days and enjoy the present because his near future is dark and bleak. He said on Sunday he is going to retain his Intercontinental Title, and Crews will get everything he deserves.
Crews said Big E should think twice before talking to Nigerian royalty with such disrespect. He smiled and said this reminds him of an old Nigerian proverb his grandfather told him. “You fill your mouth with razors, and you will spit blood.” He said that will happen to him this Sunday at Fastlane. He said he will crack his face and finally have what he deserves. He said his family will see him standing over his mangled body as the new IC Champion. Big E took off his mic and said there’s no need to wait until Sunday. He got up. Crews also took off his mic. Big E went looking for Crews. He got in a golf cart and drove across the stadium. Crews was in the hallway calling out for Big E. Big E showed up in the golf cart. Crews got scared and backed away. Big E caught up with him and they fought in the hallway. Big E hit Crews with a shiny new metal trash can, then stomped away at him.
(Keller’s Analysis: So I want Big E and Crews to succeed in their new roles, but this was clunky. Big E seemed unnatural strained and just trying to hard to express clenching anger. Crews’s accent seemed a little off this week, too, which could fuel more criticism of that aspect of his current new persona. Overall, I’m glad Big E wasn’t being a goof and trying to be serious. I just think dialing himself down a bit into a serious, tesnse dinner conversational demeanor would work better.)
-As Belair made her ring entrance, the announcers pushed WrestleMania tickets hard again. (You think if they were happy with sales so far, they wouldn’t be doing this hard-sell.) [c]
-The announcers hyped Belair & Banks challenging Jax & Baszler for the Smackdown Tag Team Titles at Fastlane on Sunday, plus Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre, Randy Orton vs. Alexa Bliss “one-on-one,” and Shane McMahon vs. Braun Strowman is apparently back on after being taken off the WWE website earlier in the week.
(5) BIANCA BELAIR vs. SHAYNA BASZLER (w/ Nia Jax)
Jax and Baszler made their entrance. Banks came out to stand in Belair’s corner as the announcers plugged Reigns vs. Bryan. Then Banks immediately decided to walk to the back. She said, “You’ve got this! I’m gonna watch in the back.” She was very pleased with herself. Baszler threw Belair out of the ring next to Jax at ringside. Jax glared up at Baszler. The announcers said she’s still upset with Baszler kicking her earlier. Jax then waved her arms and walked to the back also. Tamina and Natalya attacked both women in the ring almost immediately. Cole said they believe they should be in line for a tag team title match. Graves said they’ve been making a lot of noise in the tag division. The ref called for the bell right away.
WINNER: No contest in 1:00.
-Tamina and Natalya threw Baszler out of the ring and over the announce table. Belair fought back against Natalya, but Tamina returned to the ring and gave Belair a one-arm slam. They posed together as their music played. Graves called it “a statement.” Cole said their actions will get the attention of the tag team champions. [c]
-Edge’s retirement speech from Smackdown over a decade ago played.
-The announcers pushed WM tickets again. Graves said everyone has been couped up and now it’s time to enjoy Florida Sunshine.
(Keller’s Analysis: It’s one thing to put WM tickets on sale. It’s another to encourage travel and encourage people like this to maybe leave their bubble early. It just feels pushy and almost desperate the way they’re going back to this so much during the show.)
(6) EDGE vs. JEY USO – Winner Becomes Special Enforcer on Sunday
Bryan joined the announcers at ringside. Cole asked why Edge wants so badly to face Roman. Bryan said he thinks it’s because he doesn’t think he can beat him. Bryan said Reigns has been the most dominant Superstar on Smackdown for months, which is why he wants to face him. (That seemed a little contradictory; why can’t that be Edge’s reason, too?) Bryan said he just wants to face Roman one-on-one “without strange stuff at ringside.” He said he’s dealt with a lot in his career and he’ll deal with this. Bryan said Edge seems really bothered that he’s earned the title shot at Fastlane. Edge took it to Jey a minute in with a variety of offense. Edge rolled to the floor as soon as Jey elbowed his ribs. He bent over at the announce table winced. Jey threw Edge into the ringside steps then dove through the ropes and knocked him into the announce table. They cut to a break a few minutes in. [c]
Jey beat up Edge after the break as Edge continued to sell injured ribs. It was like the Royal Rumble again with Edge seeming on the edge of death with his selling. Jey threw Edge ribs-first into the ringpost. Bryan said Jey always comes out to help Reigns, but Reigns never does that with Bryan. When Jey leaped off the top rope, Edge ducked. Then they dove at each other and collided mid-air. Both were slow to get up. Edge kicked Jey in the head. Then he kneed Jey in the shoulder. Jey came back with a Samoan Drop.
Edge came back with a huracanrana out of the corner for a two count. Edge dragged himself onto Jey for a near fall. Edge clutched his ribs as he tried to recover and continue on the attack. He set up a spear, but Jey kicked him as he charged. (The timing wasn’t great here.) Jey landed a frog splash, but Uso was slow to make the cover, selling his shoulder also. Edge kicked out at two. Edge then hit a spear for the win. Graves told Bryan, “Well, it appears it’s the devil you don’t know.”
WINNER: Edge in 10:00.
-As Edge celebrated, he looked down at Bryan. Reigns attacked Edge. Reigns mouthed off to Bryan. Bryan took off his headset and headed to the ring. Jey attacked him from behind. Reigns then beat up Bryan and yelled down at him. Cole asked if that would be the scene on Sunday.
So who tried to kick Sasha? First it says Belair then it says Baszler.
First it says Corbin won then it says Sami won? Somebody please….