SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
This Roman Reigns-o-meter is about Roman Reigns and I promise you, dear reader, that I will not get distracted by the fact that daddy’s home. I could not be any more firm on this. This is a McMahon-style guarantee.
Ah, Smackdown. Since the brand re-split in 2016, Smackdown has been the superior brand and there is nobody who can convince me differently. Dean Ambrose’s feud with A.J. Styles was magical. Nikki Bella vs. Carmella was great fun. Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy was torture, but in a good way. The New Day vs The Usos was unmissable. Becky Lynch vs. Charlotte Flair gave us a ton of good moments. Kofi Kingston vs. Daniel Bryan had the world talking and now Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens is leading the pack.
What I’m trying to say here is that Smackdown is not necessarily doing something right, it’s doing a whole lot of things right. When Roman Reigns holds that Universal title over his head as he walks into the arena, he knows that he is at the top of a brand dominating its direct competitor, Monday Night Raw.
And that’s only going to get better now that Sonya Deville is back. Sorry, I know, I won’t mention her from here on, I promise.
As last week, when Smackdown’s ratings were colossal, Roman Reigns opens the show once again. This time The Big Dog isn’t straight into a cage. Instead he’s on the microphone, smiling widely and wishing us all a happy new year. Thank you, Roman, I appreciate that. It means a lot to hear that from Roman Reigns, Jey Uso, Paul Heyman, and the Universal Championship.
Roman takes credit for Jey Uso’s career rise, correctly. I’m sure Jimmy will be doing much the same shortly. He also declares his love in a really quite touching moment sadly interrupted by the impolite Kevin Owens.
Roman wants to know why Owens is out there. I do too. Kevin Owens has had numerous opportunities and, just because he couldn’t beat two men, an advocate, a steel cage, and a pair of handcuffs, that doesn’t mean he’s entitled to more. Roman says much the same but it rings a little more hollow than it did against Drew McIntyre. Against Drew McIntyre, Roman just plain destroyed the entire Raw brand in a way that it hasn’t recovered from.
Kevin Owens is a big help, though. He adds an extra piece of branding. Roman Reigns is now The Big Dog, The Head Of The Table, The Tribal Chief, and The Giant Bitch. That’s all that Roman gets, though, because Owens has set his sights on Jey Uso.
In between the important parts of Roman Reigns’s Smackdown featuring Jey Uso, Baron Corbin moves on from Buddy Murphy to play a bit part in Big E’s feud with Sami Zayn. The end result is a tag match with Apollo Crews backing up Big E, and Zayn working with Corbin. For a lone wolf, Corbin sure has a lot of friends. He actually has history being friendly with Zayn via Kevin Owens too, so I quite enjoyed this pairing. As an Intercontinental Title scene, it’s not too bad either.
Billie Kay’s mission to find a new tag team partner resulted in a tag match between Natalya & Tamina and The Riott Squad. Yeah, you heard what I said. Kay should consider reaching out to that woman on Raw. You know the one. Recently lost a tag team partner for no bloody reason? Peyton Royce. That’s the one. I wonder if they know each other.
She might also consider reaching out to Sonya Deville, but honestly I wouldn’t risk it. Sonya’s liable to destroy someone, and I wouldn’t want to be the one getting between her and the Smackdown Women’s Championship.
Sorry, I did it again, didn’t I? Okay, seriously, from here on out I’m going to control my emotions and be less excited about the Smackdown Women’s Division.
The follow up is Bayley & Carmella vs. Sasha Banks & Bianca Belair. Banks and Belair have put together some tag team moves. Honestly, NXT might be at risk of losing their title as top women’s division in wrestling if this keeps up.
And then there was Roman, asking the big questions. Who makes the matches for Smackdown? Roman says it’s somebody. He takes his title from the loving grasp of Paul Heyman and sends Heyman on a mission to find out who books Smackdown. We genuinely might never see Paul Heyman again.
I’d say this Smackdown is all about Roman, but for me I get the feeling Vince McMahon read someone say he didn’t support tag team wrestling so he put together three tag matches and a tag team title feud. Sorry, four. Otis & Daniel Bryan just came out. Paul Heyman is going to come back with Teddy Long, isn’t he?
Finally, we reach our main event. Kevin Owens will face Jey Uso. Honestly, it feels like these two have been fighting every week for the past two months given how Roman has been dodging out of actually wrestling on Smackdown. Probably aware of this, Owens and Uso go for something different. Less wrestly and more punchy punchy. Corey Graves explains that they expect the referee to be lenient. They used to say that in “Stone Cold” Steve Austin matches.
Kevin Owens picks up the win clean as you like, probably leading towards a rematch between Owens and Reigns at the Royal Rumble with Jey Uso nicely out of the picture. Owens doesn’t stop there. He hits some more stunners. He steals from Corey Graves. He chains Jey to the ropes. There is no sign of Roman Reigns. To be fair, Roman is doing something much more important; he’s on a mission to find out who is booking Smackdown. Raw could use them.
As it turns out, Roman is in the Thunderdome, waiting for the right moment to strike. I think we all knew Kevin Owens was going to head into the Thunderdome; anybody could see that at the end of a wrestling match, Owens would go into the Thunderdome. Jey Uso, doing that rare thing where wrestlers sell for longer than a minute, chokes Owens while Roman hits him with a chair and Smackdown closes with Kevin Owens being put through a table.
It’s a fairly standard Smackdown ending nowadays, but no less effective because of it. A very good show.
And a very good Reigns-o-meter, I thought. I didn’t mention Sonya Deville once.
2021 is fast approaching and I want to wish a massive congratulations to everyone for just being able to see this awful year out.
2021 promises to start badly but there is light at the end of that tunnel.
Stay hopeful. Keep the faith. This will be your year.
— Tom Colohue (@Colohue) December 31, 2020
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