SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
Beginning an episode of Smackdown with someone other than Roman Reigns is technically a criminal offense in seven states, but this week it’s Sasha Banks who gets top billing. See, AEW fans? The WWE has Snoop Dogg, too. Roman will just have to wait, though WWE does make sure he’s at the top of the show by interrupting the women’s contract signing to talk about Roman Reigns facing Kevin Owens at TLC.
Carmella stole a contract during a contract signing. WWE’s admin team are getting seriously lax if you can steal official contracts. I love how poor management is basically kayfabe in WWE. Not giving the Intercontinental Champion a shirt to sell until now is certainly questionable, let’s be fair. This Smackdown was almost a love letter to how much the WWE makes it up as they go along.
As we approach the end of the first hour, Roman Reigns arrives to bring a little law and order to proceedings. Michael Cole tells us we’re going to relive the shocking and brutal moment from last week next. Great. As you know, nobody watches wrestling so you need to make sure to show the previous two weeks in full during every week of Smackdown.
When we eventually get back to live TV, Roman Reigns and Jey Uso are having a tense conversation backstage. They’re good. Are they good? They’re good. Their families? Good. It’s good. They should be good. It’s so good. Is it weird that I have conversations like this all the time?
Kevin Owens comes down to the ring first and fills the ring with tables, ladders, and chairs. I like that. Corey Graves mentions imagination being the only limit and when it comes to Kevin Owens that means that there is no limit. It’s been a long time coming for Kevin Owens to get back to the main event.
WWE makes a smart move and gives Kevin Owens a microphone. He talks about family. He doesn’t tell us if his family’s good. Is he good? Where are the interviewers to ask the real pressing questions? We also find out that chairs are cold and I appreciate that lesson. Sometimes good promos are made of the strangest things.
It’s kind of fitting that Kevin Owens itood in a ring saying that tables, ladders, and chairs are his friends. Remember what he did to Sami Zayn? To Chris Jericho? No wonder his only friends are inanimate objects.
Kevin Owens lost the Universal Championship to Goldberg because Goldberg. This is looking like it’ll be a short feud because Goldberg also. A crying shame.
Owens focuses too much on the camera and, while Roman looks on, Jey Uso comes from out of nowhere to assault Owens with a chair. Roman smiles for the first time as he watches Smackdown. It’s nice to know at least he watches. Owens comes back, though. Jey Uso isn’t the destroyer he used to be. Owens puts Jey Uso through a table with a Pop-up Powerbomb and stands his ground as Roman arrives to survey the situation.
Roman wants to fight. He wants to come down and destroy Owens but Paul Heyman shows his worth. It’s very Brock Lesnar. Heyman talks Roman out of the fight. He doesn’t need to fight. He’s good. His family is good. Jey Uso will be good by the end of the segment. Owens isn’t good and, for Roman, that’s good. Owens starts the chase, but a dodgy knee and a chair. That’s going to end well. Once again, Roman Reigns has managed to avoid wrestling on Smackdown. Truly, his talents are limitless.
I was expecting some sort of backstage encounter and I got one. Armed with a chair and an angry streak, Roman Reigns jumps Owens from behind mid interview. He says things about family. Kevin Owens’ family might not be good after all. Roman takes the Owens trick, looks directly into the camera, and talks directly to Owens’ family. Roman puts food on their table, too. Roman makes people watch Smackdown. Leakee returneth. It’s glorious.
This Smackdown wasn’t really about Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens, despite how well Owens dragged the attention span back to them. Smackdown was about Carmella’s new entrance and Sasha Banks putting a stop to it.
Sadly for Sasha Banks, it wasn’t Boss time this time.
CATCH UP… REIGNS-O-METER #112: Tracking the Tribal Chief’s ability to beat the odds and remain on top
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