12/11 WWE SMACKDOWN TV RESULTS: Keller’s report on Sami vs. Big E, Ford vs. Ziggler, Sasha Banks-Carmella contract signing for TLC

KELLER’S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
DECEMBER 11, 2020
ST. PETERSBURG, FLA. AT TROPICANA FIELD (“THUNDERDOME”)
AIRED ON FOX NETWORK

Commentators: Michael Cole, Corey Graves

Ring Announcers: Greg Hamilton

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[HOUR ONE]

-Cole introduced the show as the camera panned the new setting for ThunderDome at Tropicana Field in St. Petersburg, Fla.

-Sasha Banks made her ring entrance.

-They cut to Cole and Graves on camera who talked about the TLC  event, including Sasha vs. Carmella for the Smackdown Title and Roman Reigns vs. Kevin Owens in a TLC match for the Universal Title.

-Adam Pearce oversaw the contract signing for Sasha vs. Carmella in the ring. Pearce was about to introduce Carmella when Sasha opened the folder and there was no contract inside. She flipped out and overreacted and hastily accused Pearce of having some sort of secret plan. Carmella appeared on the big screen with the contract in hand as Sasha snarled. She looked over at a new assistant “messenger boy” and handed him the signed contract to bring to her. Carmella said Sasha should know by now that she makes the rules and Sasha follows them. Sasha said she should have known she’d pull a dirty little trick. She asked if she’s embarrassed to be her.

Carmella said she doesn’t pander to “those little internet mouth-breathers” like she does. Carmella said she’s the Queen Gambit playing the game of chess with her life, and after Sasha tried to maul her like a wild animal two weeks ago, she wasn’t getting in the ring with her. Carmella said this shows she’s always four moves ahead of her. Sasha talked about what she plans to do with her in the ring. The messenger boy delivered the contract to the ring.

Carmella said Sasha knows her days as champion are almost over. Sasha told Carmella to come get the title tonight. Sasha said she’s the boss for a reason and she makes the rules, not Carmella. Carmella shrugged and said she’s up for it. Pearce said that sounds good, the match will take place tonight. “It’s official,” he said. Sasha said she’d give her a preview of how wild it’s going to get. She attacked Carmella’s messenger boy including a Back Stabber. She dumped the contract table over him and then held up her title belt.

(Keller’s Analysis: The ThunderDome sound in the domed stadium has an echo to it, but otherwise it’s not remarkably different. As for that segment, the material they had to work with was awful, somehow made a lot worse by their acting. I mean, I’m not sure there are ten segments in WWE history worse acted than Sasha-Carmella last week and this week. And sorry Sasha fans, but she’s the worse of the two. She’s not likable. She’s not believable. It’s like her body gestures aren’t even human. She’s coming across to stilted and performed as to look like a CGI in a video game imitating a human being known as Sasha Banks.)

-Cole called this a shocking turn of events. Graves said Carmella is living rent-free in the mind of Sasha by getting a title shot. Cole said maybe Sasha is the one in control.

-Kayla Braxton interviewed The Street Profits backstage. They danced and clapped their way onto the set. Kayla asked about losing to Robert Roode & Dolph Ziggler last week. She said they say “they’re too funny to make money.” She asked if their comments could affect their reputations as competitors. Ford asked if it’d be funny if he made it rain Solo cups during his match. Angelo Dawkins asked if it’d be funny of a bunch of Robert Roode doppelgangers came out and said he’s embarrassing them.

(Keller’s Analysis: God, the script writing on Smackdown is as bad as it’s ever been. Nothing anyone is saying sounds authentic. Vince McMahon needs to send his writers back to the Performance Center to learn how to write better material for the wrestlers.)

-The Street Profits made their ring entrance. [c]

-Ziggler came out and said the word “profits” over and over. He said he used to love that word. He said the thought of Solo cups falling from the ceiling which reminds him of a dream he had in college, “the best seven years of my life.” He said they referred to him as a “poor man’s Shawn Michaels,” but he said that makes no sense because he’s rich as hell. (Uh, that’s not the way the saying works, but whatever. It explains the seven years in college.) He said, “That’s neither hair nor there.” He let down his hair, emphasizing the ill-advised pun. Ziggler said the only thing less funny than his stand-up is the Street Profits being the Smackdown Tag Team Champions. Roode then told them to get a good laugh out of whatever nerdy things they find funny.

(1) MONTEZ FORD (w/Angelo Dawkins) vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/Robert Roode)

Cole asked if he believes the Profits are indeed too funny to make money. (That’s an actual discussion point for Cole and Graves? Seriously?) When Ziggler bailed out to ringside, Dawkins joined Ford in the ring. Ford made it rain blue Solo cups. They did snow angels in them as they cut to a break. [c]

Ziggler took control after the break. Graves said it’s not about having a great time, it’s about out-wrestling your opponent, and Ziggler is doing that. Ford made a comeback and climbed to the top rope. Dawkins yelled “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” Roode threw him into the ringside steps. Ziggler knocked a DISTRACTED Ford off the top rope and then landed a superkick for a three count. Cole called it a massive win for Ziggler and wondered if they have the number of the Street Profits. Graves said very well might, so a tag title shot should be right around the corner. Cole explained the savvy strategy of Roode to attack Dawkins from behind, not framing it at all as a heel move but rather just a smart veteran tactic.

WINNER: Ziggler in 10:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: Another DISTRACTION finish.)

-Sami Zayn complained backstage about not having a shirt. Big E walked in rubbing his Big E shirt and his chest. He told Sami having merch should be his last concern tonight. Apollo Crews showed Sami a white t-shirt that said, “I am Sami Zayn” drawn on it with a black marker with a stick figure drawing of Sami. Sami yanked it and tried to rip it, but couldn’t. He threw it to the ground. [c]

-Sami ranted in the ring about how he doesn’t want a t-shirt in order to feed the rampant consumerism that plagues this society, but rather he wants his people he represents to be able to show him the respect he deserves.

(2) DOLPH ZIGGLER vs. BIG E

Big E came out to his own new music. Cole said Big E said earlier in the day he sees this match as the first big step establishing himself away from his New Day partners. Big E splashed Sami on the ring apron as they cut to an early break. [c]

Sami leaped at Big E, but Big E rolled through and set up a Big Ending. Sami raked Big E’s eyes. Sami charged, but Big E gave him a uranage. Sami acted like his hand was hurt and called the ref over. The ref checked and backed Big E away. Sami slapped Big E with his supposedly injured hand. Big E chased Sami around ringside behind the announcers. Big E got stuck behind Cole’s chair. Sami ran under the ring. Big E followed. The ref counted. Sami came out the other side and stomped on Big E as he came out from under the ring. Sami barely beat the count by entering the ring at nine. Big E then got counted out.

WINNER: Zayn via countout in 7:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: A small victory is WWE didn’t have the challenger beat the champion in a non-title match.)

-Bayley dissed Sasha, then dissed Bianca Belair. Belair walked up to Bayley and insulted her. [c]

-Braxton interviewed Carmella backstage. She said she made Sasha relevant. She told Kayla to look at what a real Smackdown Champion looks like. She said she’s going to beat the disrespect out of Sasha and look sexy as hell doing it. She told her assistant, Tommy, to get her Champaign ringside so she can toast her victory in style while watching Sasha’s tears fall to the ground.

-A recap aired of last week’s happenings with Roman Reigns and Kevin Owens.

-Backstage, Reigns was watching the recap on a big screen with Paul Heyman. Uso walked in. Reigns asked Jey Uso if he and his family are doing well. Jey said they are. Reigns said they should be because “you’re with me.” Owens’ music played and he made his way to the ring. Reigns told Jey to go get him.

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CHECK OUT BRANDON LECLAIR’S ALTERNATIVE PERSPECTIVE REPORT ON SMACKDOWN HERE.

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[HOUR TWO]

-Owens said he’s not scared of Reigns. He talked about how he doesn’t have family that helped him get into the business, but he provides for his family in the business. He said what will help him at TLC are tables, ladders, and chairs. He personified them for a while. Then Jey Uso snuck up behind him and attacked his knees. He beat him up. KO made a comeback and powerbombed Jey through a table. He called Reigns to the ring. Reigns and Heyman walked out. Heyman told Reigns not to let Owens call the shots or determine the timeline. [c]

-Backstage a limping KO was yelling for Reigns backstage. Kayla came up to him. KO asked if she knows where Reigns is. He said he didn’t want to beat Uso down like that, but that’s on Reigns. Reigns attacked KO with a chair. He threw him around for a minute, then addressed the camera and talked to KO’s family. He said he’s the Head of the Table and “your Tribal Chief.” He told them to talk some sense into their husband and daddy or he’ll be the one who takes food off their table. He kicked KO one more time, smiled, and wished them a good night.

(3) RIOTT SQUAD (Ruby Riott & Liv Morgan) vs. BILLIE KAYE & NATALYA

They showed a clip from Talking Smack with an angle that set up this match. The announcers wondered who Billie would find as her partner, and they said she she hit the jackpot getting Natalya to team with her. Cole complimented the Devil Rays and everyone at Tropicana Field for their hospitality. Graves said he’s been to many games in that venue, but nothing matches the energy in ThunderDome tonight. (Huh?) Liv and Riott finished Kaye with a combo of moves after a brief squabble with Natalya. Natalya yelled at Kaye for hitting her in the face and left without her as Riott Squad celebrated.

WINNERS: Riott Squad in 3:00.

-They showed Chad Gable telling Otis during a training session that first appeared on Gable’s Instagram account. He put a blindfold on Otis and threw a basketball and other gym apparatus at him. The screen said, “Several hours later…” Otis was suddenly able to sense when something was being thrown at him and catch it. Gable crossed his arms and in a self-satisfied tone said, “Yeah, he’s an alpha.”

-Kayla asked Gable and Otis about their first match as a team tonight. Gable said Otis has been wronged over and over in life. He said he’s going to mold the lump of clay that is Otis. He told Otis no offense. Otis asked people to imagine what Gable can do with “this Grade-A prime beef!” Cesaro and Shinsuke Nakamura walked up and made fun of them. They laughed and left. Gable told Otis that an Alpha never gets rattled, so take deep breaths. [c]

(4) CESARO & SHINSUKE NAKAMURA vs. OTIS & CHAD GABLE

Gable tagged in Otis a couple minutes in and went to work against Cesaro and Nakamura. Graves said he was really impressed with Otis. Cole said he’s more intense, thanks to Gable. Gable asked to be tagged back in so he could finish Cesaro, stopping Otis as he was about to do the Caterpillar. Cesaro caught Gable leaping off the top rope and gave him a Cesaro Swing. Cesaro tagged out to Nakamura, who gave Gable a running Kinshasa for the win.

WINNER: Cesaro & Nakamura in 4:00. [c]

-Gable told Otis backstage it was a great learning lesson. He said he asked Otis to tag him in, but he didn’t really want him to tag him. He told Otis he had the match won and he should have finished the job. He said tonight was a test, and he failed, but that’s okay because he’s teaching him what to do by showing him what not to do. Otis looked confused and skeptical. Gable gave him a bottle of water and told him to re-hydrate.

-Backstage Baron Corbin told his new assistants – Steve Cutler and Wesley Blake – that they did good last week. They used a wand as a metal detector against the interviewer. She asked what to expect from Corbin now. Corbin said he’s bringing back some old school attitude. He said Darth Vader has the Storm Troopers, and these boys are the knights of the Lone Wolf. He said unlike the Mysterios, there is no family drama to get in the way and they’ve vowed loyalty to him. He said the Mysterios need to understand next time for Rey the punishment will be more severe than losing an eye.

-Carmella’s ring entrance took place with her new theme and video. Sasha came out second. [c]

-Cole announced that Bayley would face Belair next Friday on Smackdown, plus The Street Profits would defend against  Roode &  Ziggler. It’ll be on FS1 next week. Fox is preempting Smackdown for a Pac-12 Football Championship game next week.

(5) SASHA BANKS vs. CARMELLA – Smackdown Title match

Carmella face-planted Sasha on the ring apron a couple minutes into the match and they cut to a break. [c]

Carmella mounted and punched away at Sasha mid-ring. They showed Carmella’s assistant Tommy standing by at ringside with bottles of Champaign. Sasha’s assistant yanked Sasha out of the ring by her legs when she had Carmella in a Bank Statement. Sasha was so upset, she went after him. When Carmella went after Sasha, Sasha threw her into the corner and attacked her aggressively. The ref DQ her for not breaking by the five count.

WINNER: Carmella via DQ in 11:00, but Sasha retained the Smackdown Title.

-Sasha put Carmella’s assistant in a Bank Statement. Carmella attacked her and then kicked her in the head, knocking her to ringside. Carmella then shoved Sasha’s head into the ice bucket at ringside and then smashed her with Champaign bottles. Carmella trash-talked Sasha and said she’s out of her league.

FINAL THOUGHTS: Not a good episode of Smackdown, even when grading on a curve. Not enough Roman Reigns, and KO’s promo was kind of corny, and ultimately this episode exposed how bad Smackdown is other than Reigns lately.