SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
MIZ TV REVIEW
DECEMBER 3, 2020
AIRED ON USA NETWORK
Dr. Maryse beckons Miz into her office. She’s giving him a facial. And then plants him in front of what looks like a heat lamp for a tan. The show open plays. Evidently Maryse is doing a skincare line. In the mean time Maryse is getting ready to act in a movie where she plays an evil assassin.
John Morrison is introduced to the plot. They’re working on their “hey hey, ho ho” song. Morrison had returned to WWE whenever this was filmed. They argue about whether or not Miz can do a kip up. Miz can’t, Morrison thinks he should learn how.
Maryse calls to tell Miz the news about the movie. (Author’s note: both Miz and Morrison are wearing seatbelts!) Maryse begins to talk about her nipples when Miz makes her pause to let her know she’s on speakerphone in the car. A trainer has shown up to show Maryse how to do the moves; her children keep interrupting. Miz sort of did a kip up; it did not go well, and apparently it went viral. I have no memory of this. I assume it happened during that time when I worked 60 hours a week. Commercial.
Morrison is now driving the car. Again, both men are wearing their seatbelts correctly. John is going to try to make Miz more nimble so that next time he can successfully execute a kip up. It’s going well for a minute, and then Miz falls on his ass. Maryse takes a call while having Mom problems. Something gets spilled on the floor. She’s going to have to miss her daughter’s check-up doctor appointment so that she can go to a fitting or something like that. Miz, whose ass is sore because he fell during parkour time, has to clean up whatever spilled on the floor. Commercial.
The stylist makes a home visit. Maryse tries on clothes. Miz managed to take Monroe to the check-up. No one died. Maryse is psyched about her villain lady cat suit. Allegedly the film shoot is in London. Uh, if this was shot during the pandemic – no, it’s not. Miz and George are outside sunning themselves when Maryse stalks outside to announce that London is a deal breaker. Miz admits that he would have done it – which makes Maryse insanely angry and then fully clothed she falls into a kiddie pool.
Moving on, Miz and Morrison are in the car again – both correctly wearing their seatbelts. There’s something about a record at a place that serves pea soup. Morrison thinks he should go there and beat the pea soup record. He’s going to have to eat 18 bowls of pea soup. So, like Miz is gonna throw up pea soup later in this episode. I feel a little queasy about this. Morrison is cheering him on. He eats 18 bowls of pea soup. He’s broken the record. They bring him a chocolate milk shake.
Back from commercial, Miz’s stomach is gurgling as Morrison is driving him home. Morrison has to pull over so that Miz can get out and do something in a porta potty. As Miz is either puking or sh**ing, he yell-explains that he can’t do every stupid thing that Morrison asks him to do. The episode closes with them shooting a “hey hey, ho ho” video as if it’s 1988. It ends with two lightning strikes just like an effect from “Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.”
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