12/7 WWE MONDAY NIGHT RAW RESULTS: Keller’s report on Styles & Miz & Morrison vs. McIntyre & Sheamus, Orton visits Firefly Funhouse, more TLC hype

KELLER’S WWE RAW REPORT
DECEMBER 7, 2020
ORLANDO, FLA. AT AMWAY CENTER (“THUNDERDOME”)
AIRED ON USA NETWORK

Announcers: Tom Phillips, Byron Saxton, Samoa Joe

---

[HOUR ONE]

-They opened with a photo of the late Pat Patterson. Then a view of the stage of a gathering of wrestlers and executives, including Vince McMahon front and center. Then Tom Phillips spoke briefly about Patterson and they went to ten bell salute.

-The Raw opening theme aired.

-The announcers hyped the three-on-two handicapped match with A.J. Styles & Miz & John Morrison vs. Drew McIntyre & Sheamus.

-Randy Orton made his ring entrance. A video aired of Orton last week on “A Moment of Bliss” discussing his need to find Fiend’s weakness and then The Fiend showing up. Back live, Orton said any ordinary man trembles at the very thought of facing The Fiend, but he’s no ordinary man and he smashed his moral compass many years ago. He said there is no line he won’t cross and, unlike Fiend, he doesn’t need a mask to let the darkness show for the world to see. He said when his time comes, he is going to stare the Devil right in the eyes and let him know the most evil son of a bitch on Planet Earth has come home. He said in the mean time, he would be knocking on the Funhouse door waiting and wondering just exactly who is going to “let me in.”

The Firefly Funhouse jingle played. Bray Wyatt appeared on the big screen and waved excitedly at Orton. He said it’s great to have him there. He said since he was so mean to Alexa Bliss last week, Orton will have to settle for little ol’ him. Orton said he’s the last person he wants to play games with. Bray then said, “Did you just say game?” Good thing he said “game,” because Bray had a whole game show set up for him with theme music and a game show host wig. The first prize was the Orton weapon. The next prize was the rotting carcass of Friendship Frog. They were valued at $49.95. Bray asked how should Orton be punished at TLC. Mercy the Buzzard buzzed in and spoke incoherently. Then Huskus the Pig suggested an endless buffet. Abigail swore and was bleeped. Ramblin’ Rabbit suggested they sit down and discuss their feelings. Bray said he was sick. He said none of his contestants were correct. Bray took off his the wig and, in his sinister voice, said: “He always has the right answer.” The Fiend images flashed on the screen.

Orton said he wants a match tonight, but against The Fiend, because he’ll see him at TLC. He said he wants him – Bray Wyatt – in the ring tonight. Wyatt agreed excitedly and waved good bye as his jingle played. Orton then smiled.

(Keller’s Analysis: This just feels like a “spectacle feud” where WWE hopes you want to see what comes next and how it plays out because they have matched two very different iconic characters against each other. Orton saying he isn’t an ordinary man so he won’t tremble at the thought of facing Fiend sets the bar high for how he responds in his eventual presence officially in a match. I don’t know how they could have pulled off Orton actually being in the Funhouse without it getting too campy, since it’s an odd mix with Orton and Wyatt/Fiend as it is at a great distance, but that seemed to be the implication of what they advertised ahead of time to attract viewers, so this was a bit of bait and switch if they don’t get back to it. The prospects of Orton vs. Wyatt later should hold some viewers who might otherwise stray.)

-They went to the announcers who reacted. Phillips was especially excited about the prospects of that match. Then they hyped Asuka vs. Shayna Baszler and showed a clip from last week. They hyped the Women’s Tag Team Title match at TLC with Nia Jax & Baszler vs. Asuka & Lana.

-Asuka made her ring entrance with Lana. Joe said it is pure unadulterated luck that Lana won last week. Saxton said it’s possible Lana & Asuka might score another win at TLC with the titles on the line. Phillips said Baszler’s likely in a foul mood as a result of being pinned last week. [c]

-They aired a slideshow of tweets from wrestlers and Vince McMahon paying tribute to Pat Patterson.

-Backstage, Jax told Baszler that Lana got lucky last week, but as she faces Asuka, remember she’s one-half of the most feared women’s tag team ever and so her focus should be on demolishing Asuka and tearing her limb from limb until she screams for mercy. Jax said when they’re done with Lana, she’ll have a hideous face and they’ll twist her body in different directions. Baszler said her back will look like her front and her front will look like her back. Jax said, “Her boobs will be on her back.” They turned and headed to the ring.

(Keller’s Analysis: What an anti-climactic way to give away Asuka vs. Baszler on Raw. That should have been built up as being more special. I get a kick out of the Jax-Baszler interplay, but feel somewhat guilty about it if that makes some of you feel better.)

(1) ASUKA (w/Lana) vs. SHAYNA BASZLER (w/Nia Jax)

Joe talked about them having a very similar skillset and bravado. Asuka went for an anklelock early. Baszler countered and gave her a high back suplex. Asuka rolled to ringside to regroup. Lana came over to check on her. Baszler and Jax yelled at Lana. Then they attacked them. Baszler threw Asuka into the announce desk. They cut to a break a minute in. [c]

More mat work with various chains of reversals on the mat. Jax attacked Lana at ringside without provocation. She picked up Lana, but Lana slipped free and shoved Jax into the ringside steps. Lana leaped off the ringisde steps at Jax, but Jax caught her. Lana gave her a huracanrana to send Jax head-first into the announce table. Asuka rolled up a DISTRACTED Baszler for the win. (We’re 1-for-1 on Raw matches this week ending with a distraction finish.) Lana and Asuka celebrated up the ramp as Jax and Baszler soaked up the loss.

WINNER: Asuka in 5:00.

-They went to the announcers at ringside. They discussed last week’s victory by Cedric Alexander over Xavier Woods. Joe then hyped Jeff Hardy vs. Bobby Lashley later on the show in a non-title match. Phillips plugged Kofi Kingston vs. Shelton Benjamin later, too.

-Backstage, the dapper Hurt Business were walking when they bumped into a guy carrying a box of merchandise. They were mean to him and he meekly fled the scene.

-Phillips hyped Drew McIntyre’s “Road to TLC” video package up next. [c]

-A graphic said Miz has won a total of 19 titles in WWE. It also listed a bunch of TV shows he has been a guest on including “Fear Factor” and “The Real World” and “Supernatural,” among others.

-Phillips talked about Miz now having possession of the Money in the Bank briefcase. They threw to a video package on last week’s shenanigans with Styles and Drew last week with the MITB briefcase “near cash-in” after Drew’s match against Miz and Morrison. They hyped the main event tag match again. Then they shifted to commenting on Flapjack beating Ricochet after Ali DISTRACTED Ricochet and then Dana Brooke beating Reckoning despite a DISTRACTION by Ali.

-Backstage Dana showed off her black eye to Ricochet. Riddle showed up with a box of Bro-nuts. He asked if they had seen MVP or Lashley. Ricochet told Riddle they were in the middle of talking strategy, sending a social signal they weren’t interested in talking with him. Riddle, oblivious, asked them to let him know if they see them. Sarah Schreiber asked Ricochet what prompted him to team with Dana after turning down teaming with Hurt Business. Ricochet said he’s not against being on a team, but rather he’s against teaming with jackasses. Dana said she won’t let anyone disrespect her after she has worked so hard and so long to prove she belongs there. She said after getting a black eye, she owes Reckoning one of her own next week.

(Keller’s Analysis: I give WWE credit for giving some backstory time on Raw for the Retribution vs. Ricochet & Dana Brooke feud. Too bad both Ricochet and Retribution have been defined down so much by WWE booking in recent months that it’s hard to see it as particularly relevant to anything. And if you hadn’t heard before, Dana Brooke worked really hard to prove she belongs in WWE.)

-Retribution began their ring entrance. [c]

-A backstage promo aired with Retribution’s Slapjack, Ali, and Reckoning. Ali said Ricochet and Dana will meet their end at their hands.

(2) MUSTAFA ALI & RECKONING vs. RICOCHET & DANA BROOKE

Dana slapped Reckoning at the start, then dropped her and pounded on her. As soon as Slapjack turned around momentum, Brooke tagged in Ricochet. Ricochet landed a dive on Slapjack seconds after tagging in. Ali came up to Ricochet and told him he belongs with them. Slapjack caught Ricochet when he re-entered the ring with a Falcon Arrow for a two count. Slapjack landed a cannonball in the corner, but Brooke tagged in. As Ali yelled a command to Reckoning, she seemed perturbed. When she turned back to Brooke, Brooke landed a sitout slam on Reckoning. Phillips said, “Reckoning might have been DISTRACTED there!”

WINNER: Brooke & Ricochet in 2:00.

-Ali chewed out Reckoning for embarrassing him again. He was also verbally abusive toward Slapjack. “Is this how you are going to repay me?!” he yelled. Ricochet and Brooke posed on the stage and smiled together.

(Keller’s Analysis: We’re 2-for-2 on distraction finishes. They’re getting “creative” with variations of the distraction finish, but at this point they have to be doing this as a rib. That was a weak distraction, though, and really defined down Reckoning further. Retribution are just beyond being taken seriously, and I don’t get the payoff to having Ali brow-beat them like he does.)

-Backstage Sheamus was wrapping his wrists when Keith Lee walked up to him. Sheamus asked if he has something to say to him. Lee said the entire locker room knows it’s just a matter of time before he stabs his best friend in the back. Sheamus stood and sarcastically told Lee he must leave now to go turn on the champion and beat the hell out of him. He stared at Lee, then turned and left. [c]

-A graphic congratulated Seth Rollins and Becky Lynch on the birth of Roux, their daughter.

(Keller’s Analysis: Why would Becky have a baby with a devious, dastardly, sick cult leader like Seth?!?)

[HOUR TWO]

-Miz TV: Miz and Morrison introduced Styles. As Styles walked out with his assistant, Omas, Phillips plugged the first-ever TLC match between McIntyre and Styles. Morrison asked how he plans to stop McIntyre. Styles said it’s pretty simple. He said he’s going to take a steel chair and wrap it around McIntyre’s back until it breaks. He said he’ll then put Drew through every table he sees and he’ll be coughing up splinters for months. He said Drew’s strength and passion won’t matter after he knocks him out cold, climbs the ladder, and pulls down the title to become the WWE Champion and ascent to his rightful place on top of the mountain. Miz and Morrison began imitating the accents of Drew and Sheamus. They were, as usual, very pleased with themselves and their third-grade level senses of humor.

Sheamus walked out in his suspenders and cap. He said they nailed those accents. He said he’s sick of people like them predicting he’s going to betray his best friends. He said if he heard them talking like that in a pub in Dublin, he’s kick their heads off and kick ’em to the gutter where they belong. Miz and Morrison pointed out that Sheamus has zero friends with him right now, so he’s outnumbered. Sheamus said they’re wrong. Sheamus smiled and looked back at the stage. Out walked McIntyre.

Drew and Sheamus entered the ring. Drew told Styles he sounds so hostile. He said he doesn’t make threats, he makes promises. He said he’s had odds against him before and come out on top. He said whether you’re Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton, or Jackass & The Beanstalk, he will prevail. He said no matter how many times he knocks Miz and Morrison down, they come back for more.

Drew said wrestlers in the back say Miz and Morrison don’t have balls. Drew said he knows they have balls, but not their originals, because he watched “Miz & Mrs.,” and it’s clear Maryse keeps his originals in her purse. He said Miz replaced his with Morrison’s when he made him his own personal sidekick bitch. Styles, from ringside, said it’s actually four-on-two. Drew and Sheamus cleared the ring of Miz and Morrison. They celebrated together. Drew tossed the MITB briefcase all the way to the stage. Miz chased it down. Joe laughed and said that’s a distance record for the briefcase toss. The briefcase actually busted a segment of the entrance stage LED wall.

-The announcers threw to a highlights of the Orton-Wyatt segment earlier.

-The New Day made their ring entrance, acting wacky. [c]

-More tweets were shown of wrestlers paying tribute to Patterson.

(3) KOFI KINGSTON (w/Xavier Woods) vs. SHELTON BENJAMIN (w/MVP, Cedric)

Saxton said Shelton was one of Kofi’s first rivalries from back in the ECW days. Shelton applied an early ankle lock. Kofi reached the bottom rope. Shelton dumped Kofi over the top rope seconds later. Kofi side-stepped a charging Shelton at ringside, and Shelton crashed into the barricade. MVP encouraged Shelton to get back into the ring before being counted out. Kofi then caught Shelton with Trouble in Paradise for the win.

WINNER: Kingston in 3:00.

-Afterward, MVP helped Shelton up as Cedric took a mic and called Kofi to “run that back” and face him right them and there. His voice was cracking and high-pitched in a strange way.

(Keller’s Analysis: No matter what the reason, Shelton losing that quickly really damages any credibility Shelton night still have.) [c]

(4) KOFI KINGSTON (w/Xavier Woods) vs. CEDRIC (w/MVP, Shelton Benjamin)

The announcers played up Kofi tweaking his knee in the prior match. Cedric grounded Kofi with a leglock. Kofi made a comeback, but he landed on his knee and it gave out. Cedric then gave him a Lumbar Check for the win.

WINNER: Cedric in 2:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: These short matches forward storylines, but come with a price, defining down the losers and making matches just oddly short. It’d be okay for WWE to have some matches sometimes that aren’t directly related to mixing-and-matching wrestlers who are currently heading toward a PPV match. It’d keep the PPV matches fresher and have the advantage of establishing future feuds and “momentum” for wrestlers on the rise.)

-The announcers recapped the Jeff Hardy win over Elias last week. Saxton said Hardy has to be happy to have Elias in his rear view mirror. [c]

-They threw to a video package on Patterson. Joe said the only thing that will be missed more than Patterson’s brilliance is his unending kindness. They shifted to commenting on a recap of the Drew & Sheamus segment with Miz & Morrison and Styles.

-McIntyre made his ring entrance. He pushes his sword into the stage now and it triggers pyro. [c]

-They aired highlights of the Tribute to the Troops special that aired on Fox on Sunday, including images of the troops on the ThunderDome monitors and various WWE wrestlers sending messages of thanks to troops. Saxton said it’s one of the most gratifying events to be part of in WWE.

(5) DREW MCINTYRE & SHEAMUS vs. MIZ & MORRISON & A.J. STYLES

Sheamus made his entrance next. The announcers talked about Lee predicting Sheamus will turn on McIntyre. (So does Lee turn on Drew instead, or does Sheamus prove Lee correct?) Morrison began against McIntyre. Drew knocked Morrison down in the opening seconds with an elbow to the side of his head. They replayed it in slo-mo. When the action spilled to ringside, Sheamus went after Miz, but Miz ducked and Sheamus almost hit Drew. Drew shot him a look. Sheamus said he was going for Miz. Drew told him to keep his head in the game. Morrison leaped over the top rope at them, and they tossed him onto the announce desk. They cut to a break as Drew and Sheamus celebrated and bumped forearms. [c]

Back live, Sheamus was beating on Miz in the corner. Saxton said Styles has yet to tag into the match. Miz eventually made a comeback and drove Drew into his corner. Styles tagged himself in. Saxton said it’s convenient for Styles to want to be in the match now that Drew is down and hurt. Styles got in a few shots, then tagged out.

[HOUR THREE]

Miz mouthed off to Sheamus, opening up Drew to make a comeback. He tagged in Sheamus, who pounded on Miz’s chest over and over. He delivered a rolling senton. He threw Morrison into the ring. Miz raked Sheamus’s eyes, and then took over control. Styles eventually put a Calf Crusher on Sheamus. McIntyre broke it up with a stomp to Styles. Saxton said, “Drew McIntyre couldn’t take anymore.” (What does that even mean?) Sheamus countered Styles with a White Noise. Drew got the hot-tag and went to work on Morrison with a flurry of offense. He kipped up and then set up a Future Shock DDT on Morrison. Morrison escaped, but Drew backdropped him so hard that Morrison flipped all the way over onto his belly. Drew signaled for his Claymore, but Miz yanked Morrison to the floor. Styles then kicked Drew from behind. Sheamus tagged himself in. Styles tagged in and charged at Sheamus. Sheamus gave him an Irish Curse backbreaker. Sheamus went for a Brogue Kick on Morrison, but Morrison ducked and Sheamus kicked Drew instead. Phillips said it was accidental. Styles then hit Sheamus with a Phenomenal Forearm for the win.

WINNERS: Styles & Morrison & Miz in 16:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: The primary story right now with McIntyre is Sheamus and whether he can be trusted, rather than his title being threatened by Styles, and putting Styles in a match to play the opportunistic chickenshit heel doesn’t help. The match was fine and Drew looked like a star. The all-too-convenient miscues should be booked to be part of other tag matches semi-regularly so it seems less contrived when it happens only in matches where there’s a question of loyalty between teammates.)

-Phillips hyped Orton vs. Wyatt. [c]

-Phillips plugged that Jax & Baszler, Drew, and Cedric & Shelton would be on Raw Talk after Raw.

-They replayed the “misunderstanding” between Sheamus and McIntyre in the previous match. Then they announced that Lana will face Jax one-on-one next week.

-A distressed Lana told Asuka she cannot face Jax next week alone. “I’m going to get slaughtered,” she said. “I can’t.” She said together they are a great team and can win the tag team titles. She said she can’t and won’t face Jax alone, though. Asuka told Lana to say “I believe in myself. I can beat Nia Jax. Then we will become tag team champions.” Lana was psyched up and began to glow with confidence. She turned around and there was Jax. Jax shook her head no. Lana lost her confidence and walked away.

-Sheamus was pacing backstage. Charly Caruso asked him about Brogue Kicking his best friend, McIntyre. Sheamus said he knows Drew is going to come try to kick his ass, and he’s going to do the same. She asked if it was intentional. He said no. Drew walked up to Sheamus. Sheamus told him it wasn’t intentional. Drew stared at him and took deep breaths. He said, “I know exactly what’s about to happen to you.”

(Keller’s Analysis: It doesn’t make Drew look good that he doesn’t see the accident for what everyone else saw it was and overreacts.) [c]

-Drew and Sheamus were fighting it out backstage after the break. A bunch of people backstage were yelling including Drew Gulak and the Lucha House Party. Pat Buck stepped between them. They slammed him through a table. He was wearing a crazy-loud blue suit with a white grid pattern. Sheamus and Drew smiled together and left as friends, having fought it out and bonded over beating up Buck.

-Lashley made his way to the ring with MVP. They replayed MVP telling Riddle his ideas were stupid last week, and then Lashley putting Riddle in a Hurt Lock.

-Backstage Riddle approached Hardy with a box of Bro-nuts. He said he’s been thinking a lot about tag teams. He said what happened last week hurt him in the heart more than his head. He suggested the Hardy Bros were great, but they should team up. Hardy said he had to get to the ring for his match and blew him off. Riddle then bit into a doughnut and smiled.

(6) BOBBY LASHLEY (w/MVP) vs. JEFF HARDY

Saxton said this is their first one-on-one match they’ve had in WWE. Saxton said MVP has ramped up the “animalistic aggression” being shown by Lashley. Saxton said a win here for Hardy would put him in contention for a U.S. Title match. Hardy caught a charging Lashley with raised boots, but Lashley came back with a quick gut-wrench. Hardy slipped free and went for a Twist of Fate. Lashley blocked it. Hardy elbowed out of it and then climbed to the top rope. MVP DISTRACTED Hardy, so Lashley put him on his shoulders. Riddle ran out and yanked MVP of the ring apron. Hardy threw Lashley to the floor and then clotheslined him. They cut to a break. [c]

Back from the break, Riddle continued to cheer on Hardy as he absorbed a beating from Lashley. When he went for a Hurt Lock, Hardy rolled out of it. Lashley, though, put a sleeper on Hardy on the mat. Riddle yelled encouragement to Hardy. Hardy dropped down with a jaw-breaker. He mounted a comeback including a legdrop to Lashley’s split-legs followed by a splash for a two count. MVP yelled for Lashley to apply the Hurt Lock and then they can go. Hardy instead hit a Whisper in the Wind off the top rope. He was slow to make the cover, and Lashley kicked out. Lashley dropped Hardy throat-first over the top rope and then landed a Flatliner for a near fall. Hardy delivered a Twist of Fate a minute later. He yanked off his shirt and climbed to the top rope. Riddle pounded the mat. Hardy leaped, but Lashley moved and then speared Hardy. He followed with a Hurt Lock for the win.

WINNER: Lashley in 14:00.

-After the bell, Lashley didn’t release right away. When Riddle was going to intervene, MVP grabbed him. Riddle broke free. Lashley shoved Hardy into Riddle. Lashley and MVP left. MVP snacked on Bro-nuts from Riddle’s box. “That’s not right,” said Saxton.

-They cut to Orton sitting backstage when there was a knock on the door. He got up and looked out the door. He saw nothing, but then Ramblin’ Rabbit suddenly showed up in the doorway and told Orton the match is going to be so much fun and Bray can’t wait to see him in the ring. They played zany sound effects, too. [ ]

(7) RANDY ORTON vs. BRAY WYATT

Orton made his entrance first. Then Bray’s music played and he playfully sauntered out wearing his sweater and jeans. Bray entered the bell rang. They circled each other, then locked up. Orton applied a side headlock immediately. Bray shoved him off. Bray won a mid-ring collision and then smiled. Orton reset. Phillips said a normal man would be cowering in fear opposite of Bray, but Orton seems to be acting business as usual. They fought at ringside. Bray backdropped Orton onto the back of the announce desk. Bray went after Phillips, who leaped over the barricade. Bray yanked off his headset and said, “Yowie wowie, we’ll be right back.” They cut to a break. [c]

(Keller’s Analysis: One of the highlights of Raw was Phillips clumsy attempting to flee Bray there.)

Back live, Bray popped Orton in the throat and then charged him in the corner. Orton caught him with an elbow, then dropped a knee on his chest for a two count. Orton settled in an obligatory mid-match chinlock. Bray escaped and clotheslined Orton. Bray knocked Orton down with a crossbody and then DDT’d him for a two count. Bray set up Sister Abigail, but Orton escaped and gave him a neckbreaker. He scored a sloppy two count.

Wyatt set up a Sister Abigail a minute later, but Orton escaped and thumbed Bray in the eye. Orton gave Bray a draping DDT and then signaled for the RKO. No surprise, the Fiend noises began and the lights darkened. Orton still hit the RKO with the lights partially off. When the lights came back on, after some Fiend sound effects, Orton was lying on The Fiend. Fiend sat up and put his fingers in Orton’s mouth and locked on the Mandible Claw.

WINNER: Uhhh….

(Keller’s Analysis: The finish was probably quite predictable. Or the lack of finish might be a better way to put it. I’m not sure if a Bray Wyatt match whets people’s appetite for another match between these two with Bray in a different character since Bray gets exposed pretty badly these days when he tries to wrestle a credible match without all of his gimmickry to distract from his lack of athleticism lately. He doesn’t get much ring time at all and it shows. The special effects of Fiend showing up means either the final seconds of the match were pretaped or Bray had the Fiend outfit under his other gear and just had to put the mask on quickly. Either way, it was a cool effect, but the lack of any sense that there ought to be a finish announced diminishes the entire concept of matches serving a purpose in the first place.)