SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
BEING THE ELITE EP. 223 – “Sour Patch Kids”
POSTED ON YOUTUBE.COM
SEPTEMBER 28, 2020
REPORT BY ZACH GRAHAM, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Watch it HERE
– Matt Jackson was sitting next to Brandon Cutler, who was working on his laptop. Matt asked Cutler what he was doing and Cutler awkwardly turned the screen away from him and said he’s working on BTE stuff, when it appeared he was looking at pictures of the Young Bucks and Hangman Page together from their time in ROH. Someone knocked at the door and Matt got up to answer it. Matt answered the door and it was Tony Schiavone. A clip was shown from Matt’s interview with Schiavone on Dynamite last week.
Cutler picked up his phone and made a call. He was talking to Hangman Page and apologized for the guy eating the cakes last week.
Another clip from Matt’s interview with Schiavone aired where he broke Tony’s phone and handed him some cash.
Cutler was still on the phone with Hangman when Matt walked back in and started talking to himself irritated with Schiavone. Matt appeared to be talking to Nick off screen. Matt then noticed Cutler’s laptop and saw the pictures on it. Matt grabbed a pair of scissors and cut the laptop charger and started destroying the computer. As this was going on Cutler continued talking to Hangman about how the photos were irreplaceable and Cutler promised he was going to save the project he was working on as soon as they hung up the phone. Matt laid the laptop across the couch and hit a flying elbow drop to it as Cutler still had his back turned. Matt finally managed to break the laptop in half and super kicked the screen before he began pulling the keys out of the keyboard. This continued for about three more minutes until Cutler finally turned around to see Matt sitting in a chair. Cutler said he has something to show them before realizing parts of his laptop were scattered around the room.
– BTE open aired.
– Matt and Nick were walking through a parking lot towards a Walmart attempting to find their action figures again. The made a quick stop in the movie section and plugged a movie called Copper Bill featuring Dustin Rhodes. They were then back in the action figure area where there were no AEW action figures or items at all.
– Alan Angels sat at the bar in the Dark Order lounge area and counted out five ketchup packets. Evil Uno spun around in his chair and told him to shut up. Uno stood up and slapped the packets off the counter. Uno said he’s sick and tired of Angels’ new hair and, while it is gorgeous, he’s tired of finding strands of hair in his underwear. Uno told him to ditch the hair because Alex Reynolds is the hair guy in Dark Order.
Stu Grayson stormed into the room very upset with Uno. He demanded to know why Uno didn’t want him there for his match against Adam Page. Uno said it’s because Grayson’s anger problems have gotten worse. Uno said last week Grayson almost cost Anna Jay her match so Uno had to step in and stop him. Uno also pointed out that Grayson was going to kill John Silver last week and he doesn’t want to do that paperwork. Uno then laid out a hypothetical situation. Uno has a match, what is Grayson going to do? Grayson said he’s beat the shit out of his opponent. Uno then asked him who wins in that situation? Suddenly Grayson understood what Uno’s issue is. Grayson then understood that Uno needs to tell him to beat up someone before he does it. Grayson asked hypothetically what if Uno told him to beat the shit out of John Silver? Uno repeated his words back in confusion and Grayson happily took that as being given permission and walked off.
Anna Jay quickly walked back onto camera holding Grayson by the ear. Uno thanked her and she left. Grayson said he’s scared of her because she choked out Griff Garrison until he died. Uno said that Garrison didn’t die, he saw him on AEW Dark this week. Uno then said Garrison must be immortal and Grayson said no that’s not what that means and walked off instead of wasting his time explaining.
– Alex Abrahantes introduced himself while standing on a staircase and welcomed viewers to another edition of Speaking Spanglish. He said in this edition viewers will witness a brand new version of Spanglish entertainment like you’ve never seen before. He introduce La Rosa and Dasha Gonzalez.
The camera was gray and focused on Ortiz who was sitting down and appeared to be thinking. Dasha ran in and yelled for him. Ortiz stood up and said he’s been reading some things people have been saying and he doesn’t want to believe them. Ortiz said people are claiming she’s not who she says she is. Gonzalez looked shocked. There was a knock at the door and Ortiz begged Dasha to hide. She didn’t want to, but Ortiz begged her and she complied and ran away crying before hiding in the fridge.
Ortiz yelled for them to come in and Kip Sabian walked in looking for something. Kip asked if he saw Dasha here a minute ago. Ortiz denied it and Sabian told Ortiz to be careful because she’s not who she says she is. Ortiz asked for clarification, but Sabian left without responding.
The camera cut and Jake Hager walked in, grabbed Ortiz by the shirt and yelled “what’s the matter with you” while shaking him. Hager slapped him then said she’s not who she says she is and left.
Ortiz was pacing back and forth and said he doesn’t know what to do, so he must do something he hasn’t done in a long time, pray. He got down on his knees at the edge of the bed and started praying to Rosa. Thunder Rosa appeared and grabbed Dasha out of the fridge. She put Dasha in a headlock and walked into Ortiz’s room. Rosa said everyone is trying to warn him. The camera flashed and Dasha was transformed into Marko Stunt. Marko tried to plead with Ortiz that they still have each other. Ortiz started crying and ran out of the room.
– Matt Hardy was sitting in the middle of a large concourse on the ground when Brandon Cutler walked up and sat with him. Cutler said he got Matt’s text and asked what’s going on. Hardy responded that he’s really worried about the Young Bucks. Hardy said he’s seen their behavior and it looks like they’re going through something right now. Cutler agreed and said they’re going through a lot including things with FTR and Hangman Page and admitted they’re kind of losing it right now. Cutler said they broke Schiavone’s phone and his laptop and they just keep wanting to break things and that’s how they’re dealing with their problems right now. Hardy said it appears that Matt and Nick are both broken to a degree and they’ve been there for him when he was down and offered to help however he can.
Cutler realized they were sitting exactly where Hardy had his fall with Guevara in their match. Hardy said yes that’s where they were. Cutler asked how he’s doing. Hardy said he feels well and he’s never felt this complete in his life. Hardy said he feels more alive than he ever has before. Hardy reiterated he’s worried about the Young Bucks and asked that Cutler keep him informed. Cutler agreed and left.
– Christopher Daniels sat in the bleachers looking down at the ring in Daily’s Place. He said there’s no debate 2020 has been a garbage year and we’re only nine months in and, when you think about all the things this year has taken from us, it literally is the worst year we’ve ever lived in. He pointed to his shirt and said there’s no debate, the t-shirt has already been made. Daniels said his worst year started in October 2019 though. That’s when AEW started and he said he had all these ideas about what his contributions to AEW would be, but then he was attacked, injured, and removed from the tag team tournament where he was forced to watch his best friends win the tournament without him there. He said he was excited, came back too early from injury, and failed. Daniels said every victory he had felt like it was followed up by three or four failures and that’s started to affect him and shook his confidence. Daniels said it got to the point that, after 27 years, maybe it was time to walk away. Not because he wanted to, but he didn’t think he deserved to stay. He said he hasn’t felt elite for a very long time and he’s not just failing himself, he’s failing his friends by not carrying his part of the load.
Daniels said he wakes up every morning and thinks about how close the end is and he gets angry, frustrated, and scared. Daniels appeared to get emotional as he contemplated what he just said. Daniels said he doesn’t know what’s next or what he should do. He said he knows how he wants his story to end, but we don’t all get to write our own stories. Daniels said this company is filled with people trying to do that and it doesn’t always work, so he has questions to answer and a path he has to walk. Daniels said this isn’t his best day, but it’s also not his last day, not yet. He stood up and walked off.
– The camera was zoomed in on John Silver’s face. He said “wrestling has more than one royal family” and the members of Dark Order started singing Cody’s entrance song as Anna Jay watched from behind. They quickly forgot the words, but Brodie Lee came in screaming to interrupt them anyway.
Lee got in John Silver’s face and asked him what he’s doing. Silver said he’s starting a chorus section so Lee asked what he was singing. Silver said they weren’t singing anything. Uno quickly whispered something to Silver and Silver then told Lee they were singing his entrance song. Lee backed up and asked them to perform it for him. They started singing Cody’s song again with different words. Lee then asked where Alex Reynolds was and Silver said he was at his father’s brisk. Lee turned to Uno and asked what the hell a brisk is. Uno said it’s an iced tea brand he thinks. Lee turned back to Silver who said something about foreskin. Lee backed up and said “oh, okay. So he wants to look like this?!” He opened his robe behind the camera and Silver backed up in shock and horror. Uno pointed at Grayson and told him he’s been demoted.
Lee told Silver to call Reynolds right now. Silver pulled out his phone and video called Reynolds. Lee asked him what he’s doing and he said he’s at Fencing Camp. Lee said Silver told him Reynold’s is helping with getting his dad circumcised and Reynolds said he’s learning how to use a sword so he can do that, so Silver wasn’t lying. Lee said he showed everyone else, so he’s going to show him too. He flashed Reynolds on camera and he shook his head in shock. Lee told them to start singing his song again, so they all started singing again. Anna Jay stood up and shoved Grayson as she walked away. Grayson flew back into the bench and fell hard to the floor.
– Brandon Cutler was recording the production truck as Jon Moxley made his entrance on Dynamite last week.
– A graphic flashed for A Public Swole Announcement. Big Swole said this is for all the slow drivers out there. She said get out of the left lane, that’s for people going fast, just scoot over. The fast lane is for fast people.
– Matt Jackson walked up to Eddie Kingston sitting around with a punch of people and handed him a bag of Sour Patch Kids. Matt said it’s time for promo class and Marko Stunt counted him down. Kingston stared at the candy. He said “18 years… 18 years and I get upstaged by Sour Patch Kids.” Kingston said he comes into the locker room and expects some of the people get up and shake his hand and say hello, but no they’re distracted by the candy. Kingston said then they wonder why the competition is laughing at them. Sure, they’re winning the rating battle now, but what happens if they keep eating candy and disrespecting veterans like himself, Arn, and Tully. If they do, they won’t be on top for long. He threw the candy down and said “no more games to be played.” He looked into the camera and said that was a shot at somebody and smiled.
– Trent, Chuck Taylor, and Orange Cassidy were standing next to one another. Chuck was hitting a microwave with a TV remote as he was humming a song. He said he has a plan. They’re going to put Brandon Cutler’s head in the microwave and kill him. Trent interrupted and asked if the song he was humming was a popular song or not, Chuck wasn’t sure. Chuck said they’ll set the microwave for 25 hours. Trent was concerned because Cutler has a neck, so how would they close the door?
John Silver walked up and asked if they were making pizza bagels. They just stared at him. He said he’s there to try and recruit them into Dark Order. They all looked completely disinterested and said they know. Silver asked what it would take because he’ll do anything. Trent then huddled with Taylor and Cassidy and came up with the idea to have Silver kill Cutler for them. Cassidy interrupted and asked who Brandon was. They called him “the DND guy with the face.” Trent put his hand in and they broke their huddle. Taylor hugged Silver awkwardly and said they would join “their weird pervert cult” if he kills Brandon Cutler. Trent then pointed at the man holding the camera and said that’s Cutler right there because he films every bit for BTE.
Silver then charged at the camera and punched it. Silver got on top of Cutler and punched at the camera while yelling threats until Best Friends pulled him off. Silver screamed as the camera flashed. Trent and Taylor didn’t like how he was going about murdering him. Trent thought it should be kind of cute and funny or something. Taylor thought it should be a little sexual too.
The camera faded to black and turned back on to Trent, Taylor, and Cassidy standing over Brandon. They called for Brandon, except Cassidy who called him Devin. They apologized and promised that, if they’re going to kill him, it’ll be nicer than that. They helped him up and Trent appeared to go in for a kiss when the camera cut again.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
BTE can be really confusing sometimes. It’s mostly comedy, but randomly they sprinkle in something that’s serious. The Christopher Daniels promo was really good, but also really serious. It doesn’t fit the normal tone of BTE. I’m left wondering, is this serious? I think so, but since that’s not the norm, maybe it’s not? BTE isn’t the show for someone to be contemplating their career and wonder what’s next, but given how little Daniels has been on Dynamite, it would be weird for this to air on that show too. I thought Daniels did a great job and the delivery was good, it’s just a weird place to be. He’s not been featured enough for this to be worth airing on Dynamite, but it doesn’t fit the tone of BTE, and AEW Dark isn’t where they air something like this, so what do they do? I guess they put it on BTE because, even if it doesn’t match tonally, it’s the best option they have right now.
I hope the Eddie Kingston promos are actually thought up on the spot. The two they’ve done have been kind of ridiculous, but also really good if completely improvised. Maybe he should move on from food focused promos now, but I think it’s a fun new segment on the show to challenge him to cut promos on the spot. I hope they keep doing it.
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