IMPACT HITS & MISSES 9/1: RVD vs. Callihan, Wrestle House, Edwards vs. Eric Young for Impact Title. EC3 haunts and hunts Moose, Brian Myers odd promo, more

Final impact – HIT: Overall, the good outweighed the bad this episode although, as of recently, your feelings towards Wrestle House can play a factor in your overall enjoyment the show. This felt like a night of endings and new beginnings as Wrestle House came to a close with a shocking proposal, Jordynne Grace and Deonna Purrazzo head off into different feuds, and a new Impact Champion was crowned. The EC3/Moose story took a weird turn making the tone of the whole thing a bit uncertain. Impact may have also sown the first seeds of a Good Brother’s heel turn. Unfortunately, the show got off to a really rocky start.

Sami Callihan vs. RVD – MISS: Nope. There was a good match somewhere in here, obfuscated by the constant interference by Katie Forbes. Look, I’m fine with outside interference, it’s meant to get heat on the heels, but the constant interference, not just distractions but physical interference right in front of the referee who does nothing, well, in that case the heat is on the ref. Sami Callihan wins when he counters RVD’s pinning combination with his own. After the match, Katie Forbes got in Callihan’s face and Callihan went after her. RVD took advantage and laid him out and he and Forbes beat Sami down. I am ready for this feud to be over, Callihan deserves better.

Reno Scum vs. Rhino – PUSH: Earlier, Hernandez was seen beating Fallah Bahh in an arm-wrestling contest (did Hernandez actually confuse Bahh for a Mexican?) and added Bahh’s money to his wad of cash, a wad Reno Scum wants if they beat Rhino. There was no Heath to help Rhino, so it was a handicap match. Every time Rhino gained some momentum either Adam Thornstowe or Luster the Legend cut him off. At one point a cameraman set down the camera and hit Thornstowe with the Wake-Up Call and revealed himself to be Heath. Rhino and Heath embraced, then Heath fled when an upset Scott D’Amore appeared with security. This is just another step towards the eventual reunion between Heath and Rhino, but it has been slow going, and the conflict that serves as the impetus for their reunion, Hernandez and his wad of cash, is a bit silly. Get them together already and fight some tag teams.

Wrestle House: Larry D & Acey Romero vs. The Deaners, Impromptu Ridiculous Comedic Falls-Count-Anywhere Hardcore that May or Not Have Had One or More Murders Involved that Many Are Sure to Absolutely Hate but I Love Match – HIT: Now that Larry D is back to his old self, Cody Deaner and Cousin Jake confronted him over the missing beer. Larry is ready to fight but Acey Romero reminded him that Susie had instituted a truce. Larry claimed the truth was over and a brawl throughout the house began. It was over the top ridiculous with things like the fight breaking into a ping pong match, a car crash, and call backs to almost every gag seen on these Wrestle House segments to date, all set to a great over-the-top dramatic soundtrack. Eventually the fight goes to Larry’s room where Cody finds a bottle of the Deaner’s beer. Just like it looked like Cody Deaner, using this information as motivation, had the upper hand, Susie appeared. Or more accurately, Su Yung, upset at the truce being broken appeared. Cut to Susie walking out of the room where she runs into Tommy Dreamer who was the defacto referee who, having had lost track of the match, asked her if the match was going on in the room. She shrugged not knowing so Tommy opened the door and, horrified at what he saw, closed it quickly. He shrugged and declared Susie the winner of the match and when he raised her hand, it was covered in blood. Tommy wisely left as fast as possible. Your winner, by possible exsanguination, Susie, in my first five-star match of the year.

Ace Austin & Madman Fulton vs. The Rascalz – HIT: Before the match, The Good Brothers, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows were regaling the Impact staff with tales of the road (name dropping “Uncle Alan”). The Rascalz were pulled in but they refused to participate since they had a match to prepare for. This encounter is sure to come back to haunt them. Then, color me surprised with how easily Dezmond Xavier and Zachary Wentz dealt with Madman Fulton and Ace Austin. It was a good enough match, but it mainly served as an excuse for the Motor City Machine Guns, Alex Shelly and Chris Sabin to offer the Rascalz a shot at the titles next week. While the Rascalz took time to discuss it, Austin and Fulton attacked them. Motor City Machines Guns ran to the ring to make the save. I am looking forward to what they’ll have in store next week.

Rohit Raju and TJP backstage – HIT: After the Rohit Raju magnanimously offered an open challenge last week, TJP was the first to accept, only Rohit informed TJP that Rohit had to face Chris Bey in his contractually obligated rematch first, unless, TJP could defeat Chris Bey and take the opportunity for himself. TJP accepted with a cute rhyme, and he foolishly goes out to do the masterful manipulator’s work for him.

Wrestle House: Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary, Winner Takes All match – HIT: Earlier, while the rest of the cast made sure that Johnny Swinger payed up his lost bet from last week, where he is forced to wear an outfit prepared by Crazzy Steve, Tommy Dreamer informed John E. Bravo that his fate was in his own hands in the upcoming Rosemary/Tay Valkyrie fight since he was to be the referee. This was the one true wrestling match of all of the Wrestle House segments. Bravo called it down the middle and ultimately Taya won. A despondent defeated Rosemary gave up on her goals only for Bravo to take a bite of the apple (throughout the episodes of Wrestle House, he’s had an apple that Rosemary gave him that basically represented his willingness to commit). He pulled out a ring and proposed to Rosemary. Rosemary confused, reminded him that she lost, but Bravo tells her that he wants to be happy in his personal life, while working with Taya in a professional capacity. Taya was fine with this. Rosemary reminded Bravo that she is a demon to give him one last chance to back out, but he still gave her the ring. Outside of the ring, the Deaners, bandaged up but still alive after their harrowing encounter with Su Yung, realized there was only one bottle of beer in Larry’s room and wondered what happened to the rest. Cut to Crazzy Steve on the interview couch, where he admits to drinking them since he couldn’t read the labels (on account of him being legally blind). Together the cast members joined up in the ring in celebration and were teleported away, free of Wrestle House. Thus, ends the telenovela Wrestle House, you will be missed.

Deonna Purrazzo’s Black Tie Affair – MISS: I think a WWE script accidentally ended up in the hands of Impact and they aired it. From the gaggle of lower card wrestlers inexplicably standing around the ring like dutiful employees as a champion berates them, to the horrible monologue, to a stream of interruptions, I seriously had to check the date to make sure I was still watching Impact. Deonna Purrazzo basically gloated when Jordynne Grace appeared to “congratulate her”. She was interrupted by Tenille Dashwood (I totally forgot she existed) who cut a horrible stilted promo before being confronted by Grace. Then the Wrestle House cast teleported in as Kimber Lee (who had been recruited by Purrazzo to serve as her “curator”) and Purrazzo attempted to restore order. Purrazzo took a tumble to the outside and the number one contender, Kylie Rae, superkicked Kimber Lee and held the championship belt as an irate Purrazzo stormed off. The Wrestle House cast interrupting the affair was cute though predictable, but everything else was a miss.

Brian Myers backstage interview – MISS: I honestly have no idea what kind of character Brian Myers is trying to portray with this “most professional wrestler” gimmick. He called out Willie Mack to shake his hand in the ring next week as a sign of sportsmanship. I’m still giving Myers a chance, but he’d better find who he is really quick.

Eddie Edwards (c) vs. Eric Young, Impact World Championship match – PUSH: This was a good match with an underwhelming finish. It started hot and heavy thanks to the bad blood between these two until Eddie Edwards hurt his knee on a dive to the outside. Eric Young escaped defeat thanks to Edwards not being able to capitalize whenever he’d get the momentum due the injury. Young brought in the championship belt, but the ref took it away. While the ref’s back was turned, Young grabbed the hockey mask he came in with, hit Edwards and nailed the piledriver for the three. Afterwards Young went after Edwards’s knee in the same vein as Young did Rich Swann’s. I expected this title change since I expect Rich to make a triumphant return at some point to get revenge on Young.

EC3 haunts (and hunts) Moose – HIT: Okay, so this story has taken a weird turn. Earlier EC3 contacted Moose though a television and gave Moose an opportunity to recover the stolen TNA Heavyweight Championship belt at a place of EC3’s choosing or else he’d send Moose the championship back in pieces. Moose ran off to try to find him. Moose popped up throughout the show, interrupting a couple of promos. He finally founds a room with a board with surveillance pictures of Moose plastered all over it with a map leading to some location (It reminded me of my Todd Martin wall). The video looked like a hostage demand video, so I don’t know who is supposed to be the babyface here EC3 or Moose. If EC3 is the babyface and is playing Moose, then the segment takes a comedic spin with EC3 being so over the top. If Moose is supposed to be the babyface then they still need to do work to get him out of this false reality bubble he is in (maybe this storyline is what does it). In any case, I’m in on the ride and willing to see how it plays out.

RECOMMENDED: 9/1 IMPACT WRESTLING TV REPORT: Sami Callihan vs. RVD, Eddie Edwards vs. Eric Young for Impact World TItle, Reno Scum vs. Rhyno, Rosemary vs. Valkyrie, more