SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
BEING THE ELITE EP. 214 – “You Asking Us Out For A Beer?”
JULY 27, 2020
POSTED ON YOUTUBE.COM
REPORT BY ZACH GRAHAM, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Watch it HERE
– Brandon Cutler walks into a locker room and asks where those guys are because he needs a bit. He turns the corner and finds Best Friends and Orange Cassidy. Chuck Taylor is showing Trent how they can use a belt to hang/choke Cutler to death. Orange Cassidy is just sitting on the top of a chair. Cutler approaches a white board full of ideas that he thinks are skit ideas, but it’s actually 16 different ways they’ve thought of to murder him. Taylor and Trent step in front of the board and say that’s not for him it’s for Brandon. Cutler says he is Brandon. Cassidy repeats that it’s not for him, it’s for Brandon. Taylor erases the name Brandon off the white board as they said it’s a different Brandon. Cutler turns to leave before remembering he’s the only Brandon on the roster. Taylor says it’s for someone else and starts writing the name again. He rewrites Brandon in a different color, so Cutler calls him out for it. Taylor yells “smoke bomb” as he and Trent run away. Cassidy slowly gets up and gets in the fetal position on the floor.
– Being the Elite open aired.
– John Silver was shown unconscious with papers all around him, including one in his mouth.
– Alex Abrahantes introduced this week’s Speaking Spanglish segment. He said this week you’ll learn a word that can literally mean anything. He introduced Santana and Ortiz. Santana spoke in Spanish using this week’s word: tiki tiki. Ortiz went to translate, but stopped and brought in Jake Hager to do it for him. Hager said “Hey mamí go in the kitchen and grab three cervecas in the tiki tiki.” Santana, Ortiz, and Hager all laughed and smiled. Hager’s phone rang, it was his wife Catalina. She asked him what he just said, as if she’d heard it. Hager said he’s at work, but Catalina said she was sending a friend. Dasha Gonzalez appears and grabbed Hager by the ear as Santana and Ortiz ran the other direction. Abrahantes closed out the segment.
Hager was shown running down a hallway with Gonzalez chasing him on a small bicycle.
– Colt Cabana was outside of the EVP office. He was talking to the camera and said “he has to be cool now, right?” He peeked into the room to see Kenny Omega watching tv with his back to the door. Michael Nakazawa grabbed Cabana by the shoulder and waved a finger at him to tell him no. Cabana then stood there trying to figure out what to say to Nakazawa for him to understand. Cabana rattled off all the places in Japan that he’s worked before saying something in Japanese. Nakazawa told Cabana he doesn’t need to speak in Japanese because he knows English. Cabana turned to the camera and seemed impressed with himself that he understood Nakazawa speaking Japanese. Nakazawa said no, he’s speaking English and Cabana accepted that. Nakazawa told Cabana not to go in there with Omega. Nakazawa said Kenny “is going to f— you up.” Cabana looked worried, then told Nakazawa he’s lucky he gets to hang out and be friends with Omega. Nakazawa agreed. Cabana asked if Nakazawa could tell him hello as he walked away and he agreed. Nakazawa entered the room and said hi to Omega. Omega asked if he was talking to somebody outside and Nakazawa said no. Omega accepted that he must have really been into his show because he swore he heard that someone wanted to say hi to him.
– Brandon Cutler was pacing backstage after his match when Leva Bates and Peter Avalon walked up. Cutler asked Avalon and Bates what happened with the books being thrown into the ring. Avalon said that they were getting their asses whooped, which is why he threw the books. Cutler said they don’t need that, but Avalon disagreed and said he wants to win by any means necessary. Cutler said if they have to cheat to win, he doesn’t want to win. Avalon was very upset by this. Cutler said when they finally win, it’s going to mean something it’s been over a year since they won. They both have over 20 losses. Cutler said he doesn’t want an asterisk next to their win, which means he doesn’t want to cheat or have an enhancement match to pad their stats. Avalon seemed moved by this and said he needs to think about this and walked off. Cutler yelled after him saying they’re still a team. Bates reassured Cutler to give him time and she will talk to him.
– Big Money Matt Hardy approached Frankie Kazarian in the back. Kazarian said he’s been looking for him, not this version, but he thinks they’re the same person. Kazarian asked if he has some water from “the lake of completion” to help him get rid of the accent. Hardy said he has the water, but they’ll need to broker a deal for it. Hardy said it’s going to cost him $500. Kazarian was upset and said he doesn’t have $500. Kazarian pulled $300 out of his knee pad and told Hardy he’s good for the rest of it if he can get the water now. Hardy rolled his eyes and said he’s going to take a leap of faith for some reason. He handed Kazarian a cup and poured some water out of the bottle into a cup for him. Kazarian drank it and yelled that it was vodka, not that he’s complaining. He asked if the lake was just vodka. Hardy said, no, but vodka is all you get for $300. Kazarian reached into his other knee pad and handed Hardy another $100. Kazarian again promised to give him the rest. Hardy pulled out another bottle of water and poured some in the cup, this time it was tequila. Hardy reiterated the same thing, the water will cost him $500. Kazarian promised to pay him and said he had no more money on him. Hardy asked if he’s sure he doesn’t have any more on him and Kazarian said no. Hardy then reached behind and pulled another $100 bill out of Kazarians trunks and said he can smell money. Hardy pulled out a third bottle of water and gave Kazarian some. Kazarian drank it as the camera zoomed in on Hardy. The camera zoomed back out to Kazarian who was using a stretch band to do some curls like his old self. A masked wrestler walked up to Kazarian and Hardy. The wrestler said he really likes Kazarians new accent. Kazarian looked at him and yelled “do ya?” which scared the masked wrestler. Kazarian celebrated being his old self again.
– Big Money Matt was talking with Private Party. The camera panned over to show Matt Jackson holding a light tube and giving the person behind the camera a thumbs up. The camera moved back to Hardy and Private Party as Hardy tried to get them ready for their triple threat match. Hardy flashed them some cash and told them to win by any means necessary. Private Party looked confused and walked off. They walked towards Matt and realized it was him and stopped. Matt said yeah it’s him, he’s just helping out, but he was wearing a mask. Private Party didn’t seem to think it was actually Matt and asked where the fake blood was. They laughed and made some jokes not thinking it was him until Matt pulled his mask down and said “I’m dead ass.” Private Party looked shaken and walked off in shame. The camera turned back to Matt who let out a laugh under his breath.
– Matt and Nick were at ringside filming. Nick said it’s midnight. They were at ringside for a Cutler/Avalon vs. FTR match. They showed FTR coming out to the ring in their truck.
– A clip from Colt Cabana in the bleachers during Dynamite was shown where Matt and Nick jumped off the entrance tunnels onto Butcher and Blade last week.
– Matt Jackson had Google pulled up on his phone, but acted as if he was on a call. He said 845,000 overall is a good number. He asked how they did in the demos. He said “of course we won that one, but what about the 50+?” He seemed disappointed and said it’s getting better, but it’s not good enough. Matt said this week he’s throwing a Hail Mary and if they don’t bite on this he isn’t sure what they’ll bite on.
Matt voiced over a recording and said to grab some paper, oil pastels, painter’s tape, and tissue paper. Matt colored a picture as he voiced it over talking through what he was doing to the sound of some relaxing piano music. Matt then took some tissue paper and used it to blend the pastels together before drawing some trees. Suddenly Matt was interrupted by his kids saying they’re hungry and he shoved them aside. Matt then removed the tape from the edges and asked the audience how they did. He said he’s no expert, but he’s having a good time and hopefully the audience did too.
– Brodie Lee stormed into a room with all of the Dark Order members sitting around a table. He said there are six of them and three have done a tremendous job. He said this while looking at Stu Grayson, 5, and 10. He then turned to Reynolds, Silver, and Evil Uno and said there are three others who are “f—ing idiots.” Silver looked convinced that he was one of the good ones. Lee looked at Reynolds and Silver and said they’re the worst he’s ever seen at any job in the world. Lee then listed off Hangman Page and Jungle Boy as two of their biggest failures. Silver and Reynolds said they thought they had Jungle Boy, which only pissed Lee off. Lee turned to Evil Uno and said those two are his responsibility. Evil Uno said he understands as Lee yelled in his face. Lee pointed to Silver and asked Uno “what about this little f—ing idiot?” Silver started to cry and Lee yelled at him and called him a weak little bitch.
Lee stood up and noticed Griff Garrison standing in the background. He pointed at him and asked him what he’s doing there. Silver stood up and started to yell at Garrison, but Lee cut him off and told him to let him give the orders first. Silver held back a smile as Lee got in his face and told him to get Garrison out of his room. Silver and Reynolds walked him out of the room. Lee said that’s the first competent thing those two have ever done. Lee then asked if anybody has any papers. Everyone grabbed the papers in front of them and hid them, besides Stu Grayson. Grayson handed Lee his papers. Lee thanked him and turned his back to Evil Uno, who quickly put on a Jaguars helmet to protect himself. Lee rolled the papers up and hit Uno in the head. Uno celebrated that the helmet worked. Lee demanded Silver pick the papers up and hand it to him immediately as he stared at Uno. Silver handed the papers to him and Lee towered over Uno demanding he remove the helmet. Uno took the helmet off and said he can explain. Uno started to say something about concussions as Lee hit him across the head with the rolled up papers. Lee yelled at them all and told them to “smarten the f— up.” Lee then asked them if they have any questions. Silver slowly raised his hand. Lee walked over and, after taking a moment to catch his breath, asked Silver what his question is. Silver said “who the f is Griff Garrison?” Lee screamed and stormed out of the room.
– Hangman Page walked into a locker room trying to find someone. FTR had their things and looked to be leaving, but Page flagged them down. They asked him about the camera and Page said it’s just Cutler, who’s contractually obligated to follow him around, which he finds annoying as hell. Page apologized about it. Page thanked them for saving him in the ring earlier that night and they said no problem. They said they know they weren’t really welcome addition in AEW, but Page welcomed them in. Page said they’re way cooler than he expected. Page started to walk away, but turned around. He said most of the bars are closed, but the hotel bar isn’t and asked if they’d want to go get a drink with him sometime. Dax asked if Page was asking them out for a beer, like a first date? Page laughed and said yeah. FTR said they’re going now and they’ll be waiting on Page. Page decided he’ll just go with them now. Page told Cutler to stay behind and not tell Matt or Nick Jackson.
FINAL THOUGHTS:
If Dark Order were being treated as a comedy faction, this would be tremendous. Unfortunately, they’re supposed to be serious on TV, but not on BTE, and that stark contrast is something I can’t get over. The segments are really funny, but it’s not consistent with the on-air characters. I’ve said it for weeks, but I’ll say it again. If you’re going to promote BTE on Dynamite, it would make more sense to have character consistency. If you aren’t, maybe you shouldn’t promote it as “shoulder content” when it’s basically an entirely different universe.
Along this same line, we have Hangman Page getting closer to FTR which is a great story for Dynamite, but it’s playing out on BTE. It’s really frustrating because that will be acknowledged in some form on Dynamite, but Dark Order acting like idiots won’t. I just don’t think you can have it both ways. If you’re using BTE to advance stories, you can’t just ignore blatant character discrepancies in other parts of BTE you don’t want to use to tell a story on Dynamite.
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