SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
TOTAL BELLAS (Season 6, Episode 7)
MAY 12, 2020
AIRED ON E!
The show opens with a recap: Brie and Bryan have relationship issues, and Nikki was stupid drunk on last week’s episode. So, the show picks up where it ended last week with Artem walking in on the moment where the Mom gives Nikki a pregnancy test. They literally film her peeing on a stick. She doesn’t pee enough. It’s negative. Artem apparently wanted the kid, Nikki did not. Nikki plans on celebrating the moment by drinking. The twins are filmed randomly working out and discussing Brie’s marital problems. This is not a meaningful conversation. Bryan is watching a YouTube video about hair braiding. He’s going to practice on Brie. It’s not the greatest and not the worst. Brie, not being terribly empathetic, mentions involving Nikki in the moment. This doesn’t go over huge with Bryan. Until they consult a marriage counselor, nothing will be solved.
Nikki and Artem are staying in the Danielson’s guest house. This will become a source of conflict. The couples and the toddler all go out to dinner. Artem offers to male-bond with Bryan, Bryan isn’t really into this. I’m not really impressed by this fish dream story… Anyway, Nikki and Artem need to stay for three more weeks. Bryan isn’t too keen about this. Brie, Bryan, and child leave together. They discuss having a longer visit with Nikki and Artem. Again, these two fools are in the front seat of a car and not correctly wearing seat belts. Don’t be a f—ing idiot like Brie Bella and Bryan Danielson – wear your seat belt correctly every time you are in a moving vehicle. Seriously. There’s no excuse for it. Nikki and Artem discuss his leaving for London to defend his Guinness Book of World Record’s record. Artem realizes he has nothing in common with Bryan. Brie and Nikki are having their makeup done for a photo shoot – I guess to pad this show because I don’t care about any of this conversation. Yes, it’s baby talk.
The toddler who needs her hair brushed is coloring in a coloring book. Brie is trying to schedule a date night. Bryan feels like the dog gets more attention. Moving on, Brie comes home from the grocery store and Nikki is already there. They bicker. Nikki leaves.
Brie, Bryan, and the toddler who needs her hair brushed go to some store that sells plants. Brie suggests that Bryan needs to bond with Artem. Bryan jokes about having a date-night with Artem. Nikki and Artem make out in a car. Artem is correctly wearing a seat belt! Nikki is not. Yes, Nikki is driving a car while not properly seat-belted. Nikki is an irresponsible idiot. Don’t be a f—ing idiot like Nikki, kids. Nikki and Artem are at a restaurant. Artem is an Instagram boyfriend. Poor Artem. Nikki wants to know: If she couldn’t have kids, would Artem still want to be with her? Commercial.
Artem doesn’t know. Good answer, Artem! Nikki gets wine spilled on her. Danielson family time. Bryan has planned a surprise trip. They’re going to Sedona, although it’s supposed to be a surprise. This conversation was so banal that I began to scroll through my Instagram feed.
Bryan and Artem are outside playing with tools and building some sort of day bed outside. At this point, Bryan was in his “The Fiend” angle, so Bryan in cutaway shots has a different haircut. Anyway, Bryan and Artem bonded or whatever. Nikki appears from the other side of the fence. Oh, right, they’re still bickering. Evidently Brie has to apologize to Nikki for being irritated with Nikki. (insert shrug) C’mon, I’ve seen stupid drunk Nikki now. Anyway, the twins swing on the swings and that’s the end of the episode.
Next week: Nikki’s house is done, will Artem propose marriage?
Yeah, I miss weird psychopath John Cena. He was the reason to watch the show.
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