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BEING THE ELITE EP. 202 – “An Old Carny Trick”
POSTED ON YOUTUBE.COM
MAY 4, 2020
REPORT BY ZACH GRAHAM, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
WATCH IT HERE…
– Brandon Cutler welcomed everyone back to another episode of his Kick Out Challenge. He said this week he’s upgrading from pins to false finishes.
Broken Matt interrupted to explain what a false finish is. He said a false finish is “a believable scenario in the context of a wrestling match where it seems as if one of the competitors is definitely going to lose the match, but at the last instant that competitor kicks out and the contest continues.” He said that this is “Terms of the Inside explained with Broken Brilliance.”
Cutler was back and said that this time the people joining him are the two that kick out of the most false finishes, the Young Bucks. Brandon Cutler then looked at the camera and yelled it’s time for the first false finish. Nick Jackson slowly super kicked Cutler then pinned Cutler for a three count. Cutler appeared again and said “some think a losing streak is bad, but I think consistency is key!” Matt and Nick hit him with knees to the “head” though it was very slow and very clearly into his shoulders. Matt then slowly pinned Cutler for another pin. Cutler said “you know what, everyone struggles with losses, just look at Hangman Page. His losses have lead him down a path of alcoholism, but now look at him. He’s an AEW Tag Champ!” Cutler then leaned back into Matt’s arms draped over a workout bench. Nick ran and jumped off a chair, a front flipped into a splash onto Cutler before Matt pinned him again. Cutler shown up close again, noticeably red in the face, he said “it’s just like that cat poster, you just have to hang in there.” The camera backed up and turned around to see Cutler upside down in position for the Meltzer Driver. The Young Bucks hit the move off of a piece of gym equipment and got another pin as Matt imitated the Undertaker rolling his eyes into the back of his head as he put Cutler’s hands on his chest for the cover.
Cutler held the back of his hand and struggled to say “when life gives you lemons…” then stopped himself and told Matt to just do the next move already. Matt walked into frame and yelled at Cutler for asking them to be there to help him get better, only for him to quit. Matt said he just put some more heat on him, then told him to fire up on him. Cutler hit him with a couple of elbows, then ran to the other side of the gym, only for Nick to hit him with a padded steel chair. Matt covered him for another pin. Cutler was shown in a new area, rubbing his forehead. He said it’s all about perspective and maybe he just needed to change up the scenery. Matt told him to fire up on him as hard and as many times as he could. He hit Matt with six elbows, then turned around again. Nick threw a chair at him, but Cutler caught it and threw it back. He smiled at the camera and said “not this time buddy.” When he turned back to Matt, Matt threw powder in his eyes and pinned him again. Matt, Nick, and Cutler stood on camera together, Cutler had red coloring all over his face. Cutler said thank you sounding very dejected. He asked Matt what the powder he threw at him was and Matt said it was Kool Aid, which is an old carny trick. Cutler said it tastes like fruit punch and he wishes he would’ve used Capri Sun instead. The three stood there awkwardly for a second.
– Being the Elite open aired.
– Matt and Nick were on the tennis court, along with a man in a referee shirt. Matt said back in the day, before he was a famous professional wrester, he was a bad ass basketball player including being a city league champion. He said, kayfabe, he used to kick Nick’s ass on the court. Matt pointed to the official and said he’s more than just an official, that’s Malachi Jackson (Matt and Nick’s younger brother), and they never wanted to play him because he kicked their ass every day. Matt then said they were going to play a game of Horse, but instead they were going to use BTE. Matt went first and missed his shot, Nick went second and missed, then Malachi (who they referred to as Ref) went and made it from long range, he called it half court. Matt looked concerned as Nick told him it was his turn and laughed. Matt missed wildly. Nick went and made a shot from the patio overlooking the tennis court. Matt looked confused. Ref took his shot from the balcony and made it with ease. Matt took that shot and missed again, now he has B and T. Nick then tried to explain his trick shot, but Matt laughed him off. Nick said he’s been working on this shot since Vine was a thing. Nick super kicked the ball and it went in, with some video editing help. Matt then said it was the ref’s turn and laughed at the idea of him making it. Ref kicked it and it almost hit him in the head, but with some edits, the ball was shown bouncing off the fence, then the stairs, and into the basket. Matt looked shocked, then took his turn where he missed by a mile to lose. Matt said good game and a “To Be Continued…” was shown on the screen.
– A big building was shown, then text scrolled across the bottom to note that this was “Elite Wrestling HQ – East” and a small AEW sign was crudely pasted into a window.
Cody said hello as he stood next to Tony Schiavone in the board room they’ve used for a lot of their recent segments. He introduced Schiavone and called him “AEW’s Silver Tongue.” Cody said this is a new segment they’re going to do on Being the Elite called “Quarantine Confessions.” Schiavone said that he bought this Playstation 4 during quarantine and he “can’t get off the MFer” saying he plays it every single day and he needs to stop. He said he plays Madden, “the game where the cowboys shoot each other, that son of a bitch game.” Cody chimed in that it’s Red Dead Redemption 2. Schiavone said he’s also playing Uncharted 4 and Batman Arkham Asylum and it took him 5 hours just to get past Bane! Cody said he’s addicted and Schiavone said he’s got to stop. Cody asked him how he’s going to stop. Cody then received a coffee from off screen with “FTR” written on it. Schiavone said he’s going to donate the game.
– Luchasaurus was seen walking down an alley holding a fast food cup. Talking to himself he said he’s stupid he should’ve known he wouldn’t be there, then threw his cup into a dumpster, but missed and hit someone between the two dumpsters. Super Panda turned around and asked Luchasaurus what the hell he was doing there and he said he was looking for him. Super Panda got defensive and asked Luchasaurus why he came to Panda Express looking for him, is it because all pandas just hang out at Panda Express? Luchasaurus retorted by saying he did actually find him there… Luchasaurus asked him if he was eating trash out of the dumpster and Panda responded by saying “the fortune cookies are individually wrapped, asshole” and asked him what he wanted, but told him don’t bother answering because he watches the show and knows he’s been looking for his tail. Panda said he’s probably the only guy who can help him find that tail and he’s not going to because “Fame-asaurus is a scumbag.” Luchasaurus hung his head in disappointment. Panda said that when they tagged, he got hurt after being tagged in by Luchasarus including tearing his quad. The camera panned down to show him in a leg cast and walking with a cane. He said there haven’t been any phone calls or trip montages for him because Luchasaurus didn’t care, then he got an AEW contract with Jungle Boy and Marko and never called to check in on him. Panda said he isn’t helping him find his tail and told him to kick rocks. Luchasaurus said he doesn’t care if he ever finds his tail, but he does care about his friends. He said he is going to call Joey and Jim and get Panda bookings again back with Bar Wrestling. Luchasaurus said he’s messed everything up and he will make it right. He apologize and went to leave, but Panda stopped him and said let’s go find your tail. Panda went to hug him, but Luchasaurus told him to stop. Panda mockingly asked if it was about social distancing, but Luchasaurus said no it’s because you were just going through the garbage and you stink. Luchasaurus and Super Panda walked off down the alley as a picture of Colt Cabana bounced around on the screen.
– Taz said hello and asked if he could see him. Benign Bodega popped up with Taz on a Zoom call. Taz changed his name from Taz to “suplex god.” Bodega asked if Taz could see him, Taz smiled said he could. Bodega said that he feels Taz has questions for him. Taz said it’s about a coworker. He said he has a reputation for being tough to work with, but as he gets older, he’s trying to be much nicer and everyone in AEW is nice to him and he loves all of them, except one coworker who seems envious of him and his talents. Taz said he hides his personality a bit, he wears a mask, and he’s a little sketchy. Bodega asked if it was Excalibur and Taz said yes. Bodega said that he is jealous of him and his Taz Techniques. Bodega said Excalibur is a know it all who does not know it all because he (Bodega) is a know it all who does know it all. Taz corrected him saying it’s called Technique by Taz, but that’s okay. Taz said he had a feeling that Excalibur was jealous. Taz said a lot of people owe him money, in fact Excalibur owes him money, and he doesn’t know how to handle that. Bodega said that Tony Schiavone also owes him money and Taz said Schiavone is “a real shit” and one of the only guys he doesn’t like in the company, but that’s between him and Bodega. Bodega said nobody can trust Schiavone, just look at him, he has that WCW money and all he cares about is himself and that Britt Baker. Taz moved back to Excalibur and asked him how to handle the situation of getting his money back because he doesn’t want a confrontation at work. Bodega told Taz to check his phone and it rang. Taz said “well look who’s calling, it’s that son of a bitch himself” and turned his phone around to reveal a picture of Excalibur. Taz’s camera cut out as he answered the phone and cursed at Excalibur.
– Nick Jackson was back on the tennis court playing basketball with Matt and Ref. Nick took his shot, which was a straight on shot with his back to the basket. He missed wildly and knocked over Matt’s Starbucks drink. Ref hit a shot from directly behind the basket, but Nick matched him. Ref missed a close shot, the Nick hit a close shot that was one handed, with his other hand covering his eyes. Ref missed to get a B. The two exchanged a number of misses until Ref hit a standard shot that Nick missed to earn a B himself. Ref and Nick both hit shots while on Matt’s shoulders, Matt bent over in pain holding his back afterwards. Nick missed a corner shot for an E, Ref went for a shot, but came up well short and hit Matt with the ball causing Matt to drop his phone. Nick hit an incredibly long shot back by the tennis court net, which Ref couldn’t answer, so both had BT now. Nick then attempted a free throw dunk like Michael Jordan, but missed. Ref then hit a standard right handed layup. Nick went for his layup, but tripped over his feet wildly and missed. Matt declared Ref the winner as the Colt Cabana floating head appeared again at the bottom of the screen.
– Isaiah Kassidy is shown sitting in the backyard with a bottle of alcohol. He looks at his phone and asks what the hell is taking this dude so long. Marq Quen is shown dancing down the sidewalk listening to music as he walks. Quen walks up to the fence front fence, their friend EJ opens it for him and Quen walks right past him. Quen approaches the backyard fence and a doorbell sound rings and Kassidy gets up to answer it. They say hi and tap shoes together. Kassidy asks him what took so long and Quen mumbles and says traffic. The two start talking about the flying “exploding” teddy bear from a couple episodes ago. A flashback airs of them catching the bear and being tackled by it before the CGI mushroom cloud explosion was shown. The doorbell rings again, Kassidy says “it better not be ‘Hangman Pussy Pants Page’ again.” Quen stops him and reminds him what happened last time they opened the door.
A clip of EJ was shown when he said they know him and he introduced himself again. Kassidy asked if Quen has his back and he said of course. They open the gate again to see EJ who said “this is my house guys, it’s me EJ.” They cussed him out and told him to get lost, even though it’s his house, and they close the door again. A paper was on the ground with a big L written on it. Quen asks if it’s a map, Kassidy says it’s an L and gets upset. Kassidy said he’s going to take the paper back to the lab to do some lab stuff and told Kassidy to call if anything else happens.
Kassidy walks out and a teddy bear leg is seen. He starts walking and is tripped by the bear and smacks his head on a brick on the ground. Kassidy is shown later, it’s dark now. He said it’s getting late so he needs to just sit down and relax. He sits down and starts drinking from his bottle. The masked man sticks his head out from a window and begins to crawl through the window towards Kassidy. Kassidy stumbles to his feet and tries to fight him, but gets hit with an elbow to the face before he wakes up to realize it was a dream. Clips air of Kassidy and Quen fighting the teddy bear in a hotel air, mostly of them taking moves from the bear. Kassidy panics and gets up and says he has to call Quen because he knows who jumped them now.
– Hangman introduced himself in a loud whisper voice and says welcome to his house, specifically his kitchen. He said he’s going to need everyone to shut the hell up because in this house, they have a sourdough starter. The Dynamite theme played including the edited in colorful powder blasting as Hangman did basic things around the house including walking up the stairs, playing video games, vacuuming, brushing his teeth, and drinking. At the end, instead of the Dynamite logo, it was the Hangman Page logo and it read “Hangman stays the hell at home.” Hangman Page was standing in his kitchen and said, now that the sourdough starter is done warming up, he can talk at a normal volume. He said today we’re going to be making some sourdough bread.
Page said he uses the 1, 2, 3 Rule which is 1 part sourdough starter mix, two parts water (he thinks), and three parts flour. He “dumped his ingredients” into the bowl (clearly he wasn’t actually putting things into the bowl). He then turned around to put water into the bowl as well and his lower half had a censor bar across it, as if he wasn’t wearing pants or underwear. Page then whisked his bowl of ingredients and said once you’re done we’re going to wait about six hours or so. Page then stepped back from the bowl and stared at the camera. The video sped up for a few seconds then slowed down to simulate the six hour waiting period. Page said after the six hours have passed, put your mixture into a bread pan.
He said take that pan and put it into the over on a certain temperature for a certain amount of time, so he’s going to go ahead and do that. He then put the pan into the over, the camera cut and he pulled out a loaf of bread. The bread in the pan was pre-sliced sandwich bread. Hangman dropped it down on the counter and said once it’s done baking you have some delicious, nutritious homemade sourdough bread! He then stopped his smiling bit, thinking the cameras were shut off. He asked if they disinfected the flour from the store when they bought it. A woman’s voice hesitated and said no, she doesn’t think they did. Hangman page sunk down in fear and said “we aren’t doing enough, we are not being safe enough!” He said this just is not safe enough and walked off.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Pretty uneventful, but some funny moments. Some more advancements in regards to Luchasaurus and Private Party, but they’re very slow developing stories. That’s not a complaint, just an observation. The show is always enjoyable, but this one is pretty skippable if you’re not a completest. Having Hangman back on an AEW show in any capacity is good, I wish he was around more. It’s interesting that he’s choosing to play up the cleanliness issue when it comes to COVID-19. I’m not sure it will sit well with everyone that he’s discrediting people’s fears about cleanliness and worrying about contracting the virus, but he didn’t do too much to sour me on the idea this week, just a joke about disinfecting flour before storming off worried.We also had another subtle FTR moment. The best part of this episode, for me, was Schiavone cussing out his Playstation talking about how addicted he is. Schiavone is so incredibly funny I hope he’s on here more often.
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