SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
AEW DARK TV REPORT
DECEMBER 17, 2019
TAPED 12/11 IN GARLAND, TEX.
AIRED LIVE ON YOUTUBE.COM
REPORT BY ZACH GRAHAM, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Commentators: Excalibur, Vickie Guerrero, Joey Janela
Host: Tony Schiavone, Dasha Gonzalez
– AEW Dark opened with highlights of The Young Bucks at the Double of Nothing Press Conference back in February promising to deliver the best tag team division in the world. Matt and Nick talked about that saying they believe they’ve done that because almost every episode of AEW Dynamite has featured a tag team match in the main event. Matt talked about promising to show the world that they are the best tag team in the world, but they haven’t done that yet. Highlights of The Young Bucks losing matches on AEW Dynamite aired as Nick and Matt talked about fighting their way back to the top. Highlights aired of the Texas Street Fight last week and SCU confronting them after the match. Matt said that SCU are some of their closest friends, Matt said that they may be friends, but Wednesday is their time and they are going to show everyone that they’re the best tag team in the world. Matt said he hates that it may be awkward on Christmas when Matt and Nick have their new AEW Tag Team Championship belts on display.
– Tony Schiavone and Dasha Gonzalez shown in the empty arena reacting to The Young Bucks video. Schiavone then previewed the matches on AEW Dark: SCU vs. Private Party, Britt Baker vs. Machiko, Bea Priestley vs. Kris Statlander, and TH2 & Pac vs. Best Friends & Orange Cassidy. Schiavone then said it’s time for the first match and said Excalibur has a few surprises on commentary this week.
– Justin Roberts was shown in the ring, he asked Excalibur if he’s doing okay at the commentary table while Excalibur waived to the fans. Vickie Guerrero interrupted screaming “Excuse Me” over and over again and walked to the commentary table while the fans gave her a mixed reaction.
(1) PRIVATE PARTY vs. SCU (Scorpio Sky & Frankie Kazarian)
Kazarian and Isaiah Cassidy start the match and Kazarian quickly took control with a headlock. Kazarian attempted a pin, but Cassidy kicked out at one. Kazarian quickly locked on another headlock and transitioned into a wrist lock. Cassidy came back and the two went nose to nose and they high fived each other in a sign of respect. Scorpio Sky and Marq Quen tagged in and faced off. The two exchanged waste locks back and forth. Quen took control with a drop kick before Kazarian tagged himself in and took Quen down with a leg lariat followed by a leg drop. Kazarian went for a cover, but Cassidy broke up the pin at one. Marq Quen was isolated in SCU’s corner, but after a miscommunication by SCU, Quen tagged in Cassidy. Private Party utilized quick tags for some tandem offense. After taking a moment to play to the crowd, Quen drop kicked Kazarian off the ring apron and Private Party set up another tandem move on Sky. Kazarian had slipped back into the ring, Private Party threw Sky into that corner and Sky Monkey Flipped Kazarian who hit both members of Private Party with a Lariat. Quen took out both members of SCU with a dive over the top rope and Cassidy hit SCU with a flip off the ropes onto both members of SCU again. Private Party managed a very close near fall on Scorpio Sky after throwing him back in the ring and hitting the Sliced Bread. Quen attempted a Shooting Star Press, but missed and Sky managed to tag in Kazarian. Private Party attempted to hit Kazarian with Silly String, but Scorpio Sky grabbed Isaiah Cassidy’s legs. Quen jumped into the ring and Kazarian hit him with a Cutter. SCU hit Quen with SCULater for the win.
WINNER: SCU in 12:00
– Schiavone and Gonzalez back and reminded viewers that SCU vs. The Young Bucks was happening tomorrow on AEW for the AEW Tag Team Championships. Schiavone then introduced Lexy Nair for an update on the AEW Women’s Division.
– Lexy Nair shown in studio and showed highlights of Big Swole’s upset win over Emi Sakura on AEW Dynamite last week. Nair then talked about Brandi Rhodes and The Nightmare Collective before replaying the Brandi Rhodes vignette last week where she talked about the state of the AEW Women’s Division.
– Lexy Nair then showed the latest AEW Women’s Division rankings stating that Emi Sakura’s loss last week dropped her to number 5. Nyla Rose is fourth, Hikaru Shida is third, Kris Statlander is second, and Britt Baker is the number one contender. Britt Baker takes on Kris Statlander on AEW Dynamite this week and the winner will face Riho for the AEW Women’s Championship, but Nair did not specify when that match will take place.
– Schiavone and Gonzalez back briefly to introduce the next match.
– Joey Janela now on commentary with Excalibur and Vickie Guerrero.
(2) MACHIKO vs. BRITT BAKER
The two started the match by shaking hands and Machiko kicked Baker. Baker ran the ropes and hit Machiko with a discus elbow. Baker managed a couple of pinfall attempts that were only good for a one count. Machiko grabbed a handful of hair to break up a hold by Baker out of view of the official, but Baker quickly regained control hitting Machiko with a Slingblade and a Corkscrew Neckbreaker for another near fall. Baker then hit Machiko with a Super Kick before putting on the Lock Jaw submission for the win.
WINNER: Britt Baker in 3:00
– Schiavone and Gonzalez back again. Gonzalez said she talked to Baker and she’s never been more focused to become champion. Schiavone then threw to the next women’s match of the night.
(3) BEA PRIESTLEY vs. KRIS STATLANDER
Priestley quickly took control and managed a quick two count with a roll up pin. Statlander attempted a back flip move on Priestley after Bea rolled out of the ring, but Bea moved and hit Statlander with a Super Kick. Priestley grabbed Statlander’s fingers and tried to hyperextend them, but Statlander got a foot on the rope. Statlander made a quick comeback with a series of elbows and chops to the chest, but Priestly grabbed a handful of hair to regain control. Joey Janela on commentary talked about wrestling Bea Priestly in an intergender match at a Beyond Wrestling show for 30 minutes last month, trying to put over her toughness. Priestley played to the crowd and went to the top rope for a move, but Statlander countered and hit Priestley with a Mule Kick. Statlander hit Priestley with a running Back Elbow and a Running Knee in the corner. Statlander hit Priestly with a Discus Lariat followed by a clothesline over the top rope. Statlander then hit Priestley with a Tope Suicida over the top tope. Brandi Rhodes, Awesome Kong, and their latest recruit were then shown in the crowd holding signs that read “KS Phone Home” and “Statlander is out of this world.” Back in the ring, Priestley hit Statlander with a suplex for a two count. Statlander countered and hit Priestley with the Oklahoma Roll which was good for a two count. Statlander hit Bea with a Gut Buster and a Scissor Kick for another two count. Statlander hit Priestley with a Tombstone right on her head for the pinfall.
WINNER: Kris Statlander in 10:00
– Schiavone and Gonzalez back and quickly ran down the announced matches for AEW Dynamite including Kris Statlander vs. Britt Baker in a Number One Contenders match, Jungle Boy vs. Chris Jericho in a 10 Minute Time Limit Non-Title match, Kenny Omega & Adam Paige vs. The Lucha Bros, and SCU vs. The Young Bucks in an AEW Tag Team Championship match.
– Kris Statlander was shown coming out of a freight elevator. She asked if the humans have heard the news. The news that Kris Statlander is going to be the new leader. Britt Baker is next and “The Galaxy’s Greatest” is getting a rocket strapped to her back. “Do you feel that gravitational pull? It’s that title coming into orbit around my waist” she said. The elevator then closed as she smiled directly into the camera.
– Schiavone and Gonzalez then threw to the final match of the evening.
Joey Janela with a subtle shot at Jim Cornette saying that Canadian version of the Jim Cornette joke saying that Orange Cassidy is so tough “he’s the only man I know that could strap a bucket of maple syrup to his back and drive a motor back through Canada.”
(4) TH2 & PAC vs. BEST FRIENDS & ORANGE CASSIDY
Trent and Angelico started the match exchanging holds, Chuck Taylor tagged in and took control. Taylor teased tagging Orange Cassidy, but Angelico broke free before Cassidy could be tagged in. Pac & TH2 isolated Taylor in their corner, Taylor managed to escape to tag in Trent who immediately took control knocking out all three opponents. Taylor then hit both members of TH2 with a dive over the top rope. The Best Friends were set up to hug in the middle of the ring, but Pac interfered to a chorus of boos. Pac distracted the ref, allowing TH2 to continue the attack on Trent. Pac managed a two count after a Blue Thunder Bomb and Trent attempted a comeback, but Pac managed to reach Angelico before Trent could reach his corner. Angelico knocked Chuck Taylor off the ring apron, but didn’t bother knocking down Cassidy, who stood on the apron completely indifferent. Trent finally tagged Orange Cassidy in and the crowd went crazy. Cassidy casually walked into the ring, put his hands in his pockets before running the ropes and hitting Angelico with a drop kick. Pac entered the ring and was hit with Cassidy’s “devastating” kicks, which Pac didn’t sell. Cassidy hit Pac with a DDT before putting his hands back in his pockets and hitting Pac and TH2 with a dive over the top rope. The Best Friends entered the ring and hugged Orange Cassidy before Angelico attempted to interfere. The Best Friends slammed Angelico down as Cassidy climbed to the top rope and hit him with a very lazy dive for a two count. Chuck Taylor tagged in and attempted a moonsault, but Angelico avoided it and rushed Taylor to his corner. Jack Evans and Pac both hit Taylor with top rope dives, but Trent entered the ring to break up the pin. Pac went to run the ropes, but Cassidy stepped in his way. Pac hit Cassidy with a pump handle kick. Taylor attempted a quick pin, but got caught in The Brutalizer by Pac. Taylor fought momentarily before collapsing to the mat and tapping out.
WINNER: TH2 & Pac in 13:00
– Schiavone and Gonzalez back and promoted the new PPV AEW Revolution and reminded viewers that tickets to that show go on sale Friday.
FINAL THOUGHTS: I know I harp on it constantly, but it’s so distracting for me. I’m not a fan of the commentary. Vickie Guerrero acted like a horny teenage girl during both men’s matches tonight and provided very little in terms of actual commentary. During the women’s matches, it was better, but the men’s matches were borderline unbearable for me. Joey Janela and Vickie just seemed to be having a casual conversation the entire time, while Excalibur chimed in with calling moves and I just didn’t like it. I really wish they’d find someone to consistently do AEW Dark with Excalibur who will actually know what they’re talking about and attempt to help drive storylines forward because this is just not working for me. If AEW Dark is something that they want people to watch, they need to start acting like it instead of having random people come on and just chit chat for the entire hour while there happens to be some matches going on. We’re 11 weeks into AEW Dark now and commentary is the one thing that consistently frustrates me about this show. I think AEW Dark is doing a better job of getting over characters and having a great balance between matches and promos and video packages to the point it’s getting people over more than Dynamite. I think I’ve learned more about characters on AEW Dark than I have on Dynamite and I understand that may be intentional given the fact there’s no ratings battle on YouTube on Tuesdays, but if you’re going to put the effort into making AEW Dark different and newsworthy, don’t let commentary stick out as the negative. It feels lazy to have a random wrestler just come out and tag along with Excalibur.
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