12/3 AEW DARK TV REPORT: Shawn Spears (w/Tully Blanchard) vs. Sonny Kiss, Santana & Ortiz vs. Jurassic Express (Jungle Boy & Marko Stunt), Cutler vs. Havoc

AEW DARK TV REPORT
DECEMBER 3, 2019
TAPED 11/27 IN CHICAGO, ILL.
AIRED LIVE ON YOUTUBE.COM
REPORT BY ZACH GRAHAM, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR

Commentators: Excalibur, Nyla Rose

Host: Tony Schiavone, Dasha Gonzalez

– The show opened this week with a highlight video of the MJF vs. Adam Page Dynamite Diamond Ring match including DDP coming out to present the ring to MJF followed by the DDP/Wardlow confrontation.

– Tony Schiavone and Dasha Gonzalez were shown with the empty arena behind them. Gonzalez talked about MJF and Wardlow and said that every match with them is a handicap match. Schiavone then previewed the matches on AEW Dark this week including Jimmy Havoc vs. Brandon Cutler, Shawn Spears vs. Sonny Kiss, and Santana & Ortiz vs. Jurassic Express.

– Schiavone then said that Shanna was supposed to join Excalibur on commentary this week, but won’t be able to after Nyla Rose attacked her at the meet and greet before AEW Dynamite last week. Nyla Rose replaced Shanna on commentary.

(1) BRANDON CUTLER vs. JIMMY HAVOC

The match started with a lock up and Havoc quickly taking control. The two took turns swapping control of the arm of the other with multiple reversals. Cutler attempted a backslide for a pinning attempt and Havoc took the opportunity to bite Cutler on the arm. Nyla Rose attempted to explain this by saying Havoc’s elbow pad got caught, which seemed to really confuse Excalibur. Cutler clotheslines Havoc over the top rope and went to run the ropes for a dive, but Havoc pointed a staple gun at Cutler. Havoc entered the ring pointing the staple gun at Cutler like a weapon before reluctantly handing it to the official. While this was going on, Nyla Rose was talking about Cutler making different hand gestures to hype up the crowd, which she said was very vulgar in sign language. Back in the ring, Cutler regained control with a barrage of kicks, but Havoc quickly took control by biting Cutler again out of view of the official. Jimmy Havoc attempted to suplex Cutler over the top rope to the floor, but Cutler countered it by hitting Havoc with a leg drop over the top rope, dropping Havoc onto the apron outside. Havoc quickly regained control and hit Cutler with the Acid Rainmaker clothesline for the win.

WINNER: Jimmy Havoc in 8:00

After the match, Havoc grabbed his staple gun from the timekeeper’s area and stapled a check to Cutler’s head. The check was to pay for his fine for using a staple gun in the Dynamite Diamond Dozen Battle Royal two weeks ago in Indianapolis.

–  Immediately after this Havoc is shown sitting in a chair backstage and Cutler walks up to Havoc to confront him for stapling that check to his forehead. Havoc was told he would have another fine for this and he responded saying he paid his fine and doesn’t understand what the issue is. Havoc said that when he was signed, AEW signed “a liability” and that everyone knew that. Havoc then grabbed the check and his staple gun and stapled the check to the wall before walking out of the room.

– Schiavone and Gonzalez back and Schiavone says that every time Havoc uses the staple gun, he will be fined $10,000 for doing so. Gonzalez then transitioned to talk about the vignettes being shown on Dynamite regarding The Dark Order.

– The Dark Order vignette that was shown last week on AEW Dynamite was then shown again and featured a man grabbing a ticket off of a flyer to join The Dark Order. The man was then shown sitting in a crowd of people being lectured about how everyone has failed them in their life, but The Dark Order will not fail them.

– Schiavone was back and asked Gonzalez if she’s ever been a member of a cult. Schiavone then threw to a highlight package of Cody’s return to Dynamite and the post-match attack by The Butcher and The Blade.

– Gonzalez then said it was time for the next match on AEW Dark.

(2) SHAWN SPEARS (w/ Tully Blanchard) vs. SONNY KISS

Shawn Spears quickly pushed Kiss into a corner before backing away slowly and smiling. Spears then took control again and applied a wrist lock. Kiss backflipped to relieve the pressure and then dropped to the mat doing the splits to avoid a punch. Kiss stopped and twerked in front of Spears. Spears knocked Kiss down, then decided to try his hand and twerking himself. Spears knocked Kiss off the apron and took turns hitting Kiss off the guard rail and the apron. Spears quickly reentered the ring and picked up Kiss only to immediately clothesline him back  to the mat. Spears then hit Kiss with the C4, which is a running Death Valley Driver.

WINNER: Shawn Spears in 5:00

– After the match, Blanchard got up on the apron and said something to Spears, who pushed down the official and threw Kiss to the outside. Blanchard then got on the stairs and he and Spears hit Kiss with a Spike Piledriver.

– Schiavone and Gonzalez back and Schiavone talked about how dangerous this new Spike Piledriver maneuver is and called for AEW Officials to look at the move. Gonzalez agreed asking why Blanchard and Spears are doing this after the match is over.

– A commercial aired for Chris Jericho’s A Little Bit of the Bubbly champaign.

– Schiavone and Gonzalez were then shown back in the AEW Control Center. A video package aired on Dustin Rhodes being attacked by The Inner Circle last week on Dynamite before The Young Bucks came out to help Dustin.

– Schiavone then announced Dustin Rhodes & The Young Bucks vs. Sammy Guevara & Santana & Ortiz on AEW Dynamite tomorrow night. Gonzalez then announced Trent vs Fenix and Christopher Daniels vs. Pentagon tomorrow night. Gonzalez then threw to the promo Moxley delivered last week that aired on Dynamite followed by Moxley coming out after Jericho beat Scorpio Sky.

– Gonzalez then announced that Moxley will be facing Joey Janela tomorrow on Dynamite.

– Schiavone and Gonzalez then previewed the upcoming AEW Dynamite shows.

– A spoof of a nature documentary then aired on Jurassic Express featuring Jungle Boy attempting to fish, Luchasaurus eating leaves from a tree, and Marko Stunt dancing.

(3) JURASSIC EXPRESS (Jungle Boy & Marko Stunt) vs. SANTANA & ORTIZ

Jungle Boy and Santana started the match. Santana quickly took control and grounded Jungle Boy, who quickly escaped and tried to apply a wrist lock. Jungle Boy hit Santana with a big drop kick after Santana stopped to play to the crowd. Marko Stunt and Ortiz tagged in and after some tandem offense by Jurassic Express, Marko Stunt only managed to get a one count on Ortiz. Santana entered the ring and held Stunt in a suplex position. Ortiz then hit Stunt with a dropkick as Santant suplexed him. Ortiz then hit a backdrop on Stunt, but due to a lazy cover by Ortiz, it was only good for a two count. Santana tagged in and hit Stunt with another back drop, then stopped to flex to the crowd. Santana picked Stunt up and put him in position for a vertical suplex, Ortiz tagged in and grabbed Stunt who was hanging upside down. The two then swapped Stunt back and forth a couple more times before Stunt managed to get Santana into a Small Package, but it was only good for a two count. Santana then put Stunt back into a vertical suplex and Ortiz tagged in and suplexed Stunt. Santana and Ortiz then grabbed a couple of chairs from ringside and set them up on the outside. Ortiz put Jungle Boy and Marko Stunt in the chairs, then got on his hands and knees, which allowed Santana to jump off his back and hit a Cannonball Senton onto Jungle Boy and Stunt. Ortiz then threw Stunt into the ring and applied a Boston Crab submission, but Stunt managed to crawl to the bottom rope. Stunt finally tagged in Jungle Boy who clotheslined Ortiz to take control and hit him with a Cross Body for a two count. Jurassic Express hit Santana with a Flipping Cutter off the top rope, but this was also only good for a two count. Santana caught Marko Stunt on a top rope move and face planted him, Ortiz then picked up Stunt and hit him with a sit out powerbomb and leaned back so Stunt was sitting up. As Stunt sat up, Santana hit him with a Super Kick for the pinfall.

WINNERS: Santana & Ortiz in 15:00

– Sammy Guevara then came out holding his phone recording himself and entered the ring. The three members of the Inner Circle then attacked Jungle Boy and Mark Stunt. Luchasaurus then slowly walked out and took out all three members of The Inner Circle including a Choke Slam and Moonsault Press to Ortiz. Jake Hager then walked out staring down Luchasaurus. Hager then entered the ring and stood face to face with Luchasaurus. Hager shoved Luchasaurus and attempted a clothesline. The two exchanged some shots and Luchasaurus grabbed Hager for a Choke Slam. The Inner Circle members ganged up on Luchasaurus before The Young Bucks came out and Super Kicked Santana & Ortiz followed by Guevara.

FINAL THOUGHTS: The more that they do these guest wrestler announcers, the more I don’t like it. It takes a special set of skills to be an announcer and not every wrestler has that. Nyla Rose was okay, but she made quite a few weird comments that left Excalibur speechless because he had nowhere to go with it. She kept making strange comments during the Havoc/Cutler match to explain Havoc’s heel actions, but they weren’t good comments. She said things like Havoc was smelling Cutler’s new cologne, and all Excalibur could do was just move on quickly. She also giggled to herself twice at Exalibur saying the word duty and I think that’s when I truly grew tired of this format. I’d much prefer they get someone to do it full time, or have one or two wrestlers that rotate. I could be alone, but this current format of having a new wrestler every week just isn’t working for me at all.

I don’t know if Luchasaurus is hurt or not. When I saw him in Indianapolis, and on this show tonight, he looks very awkward walking to the ring. This week he was coming out to save his tag team partners and looked like he was lumbering to the ring. His kicks looked awkward as if he couldn’t balance himself properly, but then he pulls out a Moonsault! If he’s injured, I understand why he’s walking so slowly and why he’s been so limited since returning, if he’s not, he may want to show some urgency when coming out to protect his tag team partners. I’d assume he’s still injured, but some of the moves he was able to hit tonight say otherwise, so I guess we will see.