SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
WWE MAIN EVENT TV REPORT
APRIL 10, 2019
HULU STREAMING TV
REPORT BY MIKE F. MEYERS, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Announcers: Renee Young, Byron Saxton, Percy Watson
REASONS TO WATCH…
- See what it takes for Jinder to be cheered.
- Renee mentions GWAR.
- Watch WWE struggle with character development and continuity.
(1) NO WAY JOSE vs. JINDER MAHAL (w/Singh Brothers)
The announce team quickly praised the outcomes of the major matches from WrestleMania while Jose made his entrance. When Mahal appeared, Byron described “shanti” as the peaceful mantra subscribed to by Mahal and his Bollywood-dancing Singh Brothers.
Jose danced after the bell rang, and twice more after dodging Mahal’s attacks. After a rope break, Mahal landed a series of clubbing blows before leveling Jose with a reverse elbow. Regarding Jose‘s updated appearance, Renee asked, “How does changing up your aesthetic help someone? It’s not right now!” Byron offered that it might be a source of personal motivation for Jose to look in the mirror and see something different. Rubbish. Jinder applied a chinlock.
Jose got to his feet but Mahal staggered him with a front kick, then executed a suplex. Mahal landed another clubbing blow and a series of knee drops to Jose, then chocked him against the middle rope. Jose fought back with a couple punches from his knees, but Mahal stopped him with a knee across the face, then applied another chinlock.
Jose struggled to his feet and turned the tide by knocking Mahal down three times by way of two clotheslines and a hip toss. The crowd began to boo this surge of offense. Jose splashed against Mahal in the corner, then hoisted Mahal into a fireman’s carry but let him down to the mat while being distracted by the Singhs who had appeared on the ring apron. This allowed Mahal to regroup and catch Jose with a big front kick to the chin before locking in and landing the Khallas for the pin and victory.
WINNER: Jinder Mahal by pinfall.
(Meyers’s Analysis: The most remarkable thing about this match was the post-Mania Brooklyn crowd giving their full support to the heel Mahal, and booing Jose. No doubt the audience was unimpressed with Jose’s brand of sports entertainment. Mahal needs to retire the benevolent shanti meditation as an alleged heel trait, and bring it back to basics: Berate the lowlifes in the audience and have his cronies help him cheat to win. His heelish move set is in fine working order, but the rest of his act is scattershot.)
-Main Event recap session:
- Recap of Women’s Championship match from WrestleMania
(Meyers’s Analysis: When the replay package got to the final pinfall, the screen went dramatically black while the audio of the ref counting 1-2-3 continued. The video came back, showing Lynch celebrating in slow motion. The clip was cleverly edited to hide the controversial ending that wasn’t meant to happen.)
- Replay of Becky Lynch in-ring promo and Lacey Evans attack from Raw
- Recap of Rollins vs. Lesnar Championship match from WrestleMania
- Replay of Hardy Boyz vs. Usos Tag Team Championship match from Smackdown
- Replays of Lars Sullivan, Sami Zayn, and Undertaker’s appearances from Raw
- Recap of Kofi vs. Bryan Championship match from WrestleMania
- Replay of New Day in-ring celebration from Smackdown
- Replay of Woods & Big E vs. The Bar from Smackdown
(2) HEAVY MACHINERY vs. THE ASCENSION
During the entrances, Byron indicated that the Ascension feel that “Heavy Machinery haven’t paid their dues at WWE.” (By this, they mean that “Heavy Machinery haven’t been C-list jobbers since 2014 at WWE.”)
The bell rang and Tucker started off against Viktor. Tucker pumped his fist rhythmically in the air as 20-30 fans chanted, “Steaks and weights.” While discussing the inapproachability of the Ascension, Percy asked, “What do you talk about with the Ascension?” Renee added, “Do you talk about GWAR and Lamb of God? I don’t think so!”
Tucker leveled Viktor with a shoulder block. Viktor got to his feet and ran the ropes, and Tucker dropped to the canvas in Viktor’s path. Viktor put on his fancy pants and cartwheeled over Tucker, then taunted Tucker with fist pumps and a naughty flip of his loincloth. Tucker responded with a fairly graceful cartwheel of his own. Viktor charged in but was met with a reverse elbow. Konnor entered the ring illegally, but justice was served when Tucker knocked him back through the ropes with a drop kick that barely connected.
Viktor backed Tucker into the Ascension corner, and in tagged Konnor. Renee described this match up as “big man on big man action.” Konnor fired Tucker into a neutral corner but Tucker hopped up onto the middle rope and jumped back at Konnor with a high cross body. Tucker rolled off of his opponent and tagged in Otis, who had been yelling indiscriminately from his corner.
Konnor landed a few shots on Otis, but Otis proved to be impervious once Konnor rammed Otis’s head into the to turnbuckle. Tucker tagged back in and pinned Konnor for a two-count. The Ascension managed to turn the tables by throwing Tucker through the ropes out to ringside, and the show cut to commercial.
Back from the break, Konnor had Tucker in a chinlock. Viktor tagged in and kneed Tucker in the jaw before covering for a two-count. Viktor landed a series of kicks and chops in the corner, then tagged Konnor back in. Konnor whipped Tucker into the corner, causing Tucker to topple down to the mat. Konnor went for another whip into the opposite corner, but this time Tucker reversed and fired Konnor in back-first. Konnor then silenced Otis’s yelling by knocking him off the ring apron.
Konnor turned his attention back to Tucker and ran toward him in the corner, but Tucker slipped out of the way, causing Konnor to land his elbow on the top turnbuckle. Viktor and Otis tagged in simultaneously, and Otis alternated his attacks between both members of the Ascension. He tossed Viktor across the ring with a big fall away slam, followed by a splash in the corner. Viktor crumpled to the mat, giving Otis time to perform the caterpillar, then drop an elbow on Viktor. Tucker tagged in and the duo landed the Compactor on Viktor for the pin and win.
WINNERS: Heavy Machinery by pinfall.
(Meyers’s Analysis: Speaking of scattershot, what are the Ascension doing? The commentary repeatedly tries to get them over as angry, brooding monsters who you dare not look in the eye. Moments later, one of them is doing gradeschool gymnastics and exposing his crotch to his opponent. With that said, I can‘t blame Viktor for becoming bored and daring to try something different.)
SHOW SCORE (0-10): 7.6
FINAL THOUGHTS: This episode was interesting chiefly for exposing the flaws in WWE’s characterization of its talent.
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