SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
IMPACT WRESTLING TV REPORT
MARCH 1, 2019
AIRED ON PURSUIT & TWITCH TV
REPORT BY JACK IRENE, PWTORCH CONTRIBUTOR
Announcers: Josh Mathews, Don Callis
The Las Vegas tour rolls on as the Brian Cage teams up with the world champion in an effort to finally get the one on one shot he deserves.
(1) WILLIE MACK vs. JAKE CRIST
We kick off the show with Willie Mack making his groovy entrance. Jake Crist is out with his brother to the usual “oVe…SUCKS” chants. Off to a quick start with Crist running offense. Action picks up when Crist dives 3 times to the outside onto Mack including a DDT on the ramp. He comes back in with a leg drop from the top rope for a 2 count. Jake goes off the top once more but gets caught into a Samoan drop, followed by a kip up from Da Mack and a moonsault for 2 and a half. Mack hits a codebreaker and heads to the top but Jake’s brother Dave interferes causing a DQ. But wait, TOMMY DREAMER IS HERE! Again. He says whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas and books an impromptu tag match pitting himself and Mack against both Crists.
WINNER: No contest.
(2) WILLIE MACK & TOMMY DREAMER vs. OVE
Back from break, they brawl on the outside to the chorus of ECW chants. Dreamer rubs leftover food in Jake’s face. Josh points out NFL Alumni in the crowd. Double team offense from Dreamer and Mack on both brothers from Ohio. Dreamer is the legal man and hits a big neckbreaker on The Mini Draw. They use frequent tags until Dave Crist catches Dreamer on the ropes and slows down the action, putting oVe in the driver seat. Josh says he got a tattoo with Dave Crist in Dayton. Neat. Jake is in now and lays some flashy kicks on The Innovator of Violence followed by more groundwork. He goes to the top rope but Dreamer follows him and sends him to the canvas with a superplex. Hot tag to Willie with big clotheslines, a back elbow, and a throw suplex. Dave breaks up the pinfall and is met with a right hand from Dreamer. Mack hits his huge cannonball in the corner and stuns Dave sending him outside. Tommy hits a Spicoli driver on Jake, directly followed by a 6-Star Frog Splash from Mack for the win.
WINNER: Mack & Dreamer when Mack pinned Jake Crist.
(J.I.’S Thoughts: This was a tad random. It was a fine match with some really boring points in the middle. I have no interest in seeing Dreamer on television at this point and it didn’t make too much sense to me to have them go over, or even for this to occur. Anyway, this just kind of felt like a waste of time.)
– We go ringside to Josh and Don previewing the rest of the card.
– Johnny Impact is backstage with the investigative reporter. He addresses the rumors that Johnny hands out title matches to people that do things for him. The champion gets fired up and claims to be the best fighting champ the company has seen.
– Reno Scum is backstage getting ready for their match with KM and Fallah Bahh. [c]
– NFL Alumni is shown ringside
(3) KM & FALLAH BAHH vs. RENO SCUM
Bahh and KM enter together. Reno Scum makes their return to the same entrance music as their 2017 run. They look nearly the same as I remembered them from their brief run, except Adam Thornstowe now has some hair, and Luster The Legend is still sporting his mohawk, only with leopard print on the side of his head now. Big “Oi Oi Oi” chants to start out, but Fallah tries to counter this with “Bahh” chants. Thornstowe attempts to pick up the big man, and Bahh responds with the “No No No”. He drives him to the mat with a nonchalant elbow. KM tags himself in and slingshots with a big splash. KM chases Thornstowe only for Luster to hit him coming in. The big man also gets the tag only to tag in his partner nearly immediately. They continue the frequent tags while working some rigged offense. KM soon counters with a big leg across the chest and hits the hot tag. Bahh comes in, mocking the “Oi Oi Oi” and takes out the Nevada natives. KM and Fallah Bahh hit the double log roll across Luster. Thornstowe comes in with a big superman punch to Bahh and heads to the top, only to get crotched. KM rocket launches him into Bahh for a big Samoan drop for the pinfall. After the match, the losers jump the winning team with a big spinebuster and stomp from the top onto his shoulder.
WINNER: Bahh & KM when Bahh pinned Thornstowe. (**1/4)
(J.I.’S Thoughts: This was another solid but almost flat tag affair. This did serve more of a purpose than the first one, reestablishing the near strangers, Reno Scum, and giving Bahh and KM a much-needed win. It appears that the tattooed duo will be returning as they attacked the winners directly after, establishing them as heels.)
– Ethan Page is on his phone with Glenn Gilberti approaching. Page has no idea who he is and laughs him off after asking for the office. He directs him to the “Impact Creative Office”. He knocks and D’Lo Brown appears. He tells Gilberti to just go into the office and “get himself over”. Gilberti is confident and enters ready with ideas. The unseen members of the office mock him for ideas such as “Bill Ding, The Evil Architect” and “The Reverse Battle Royal” which he brushes off as what he believes is the worst match ever. (If you follow Keepin it 100 With Konnan, you are familiar with his thoughts on these acts). While he gets ridiculed for presumed ideas, he is pitching a tournament format for the X-Division, pitting them in a tournament where wins and losses truly mean something. He thought he was coming in to be the Head of Creative but his job seems to be retrieving coffee for the producers. This was interesting, to say the least. [c]
-Fallah Bahh and KM are fired up backstage. KM does the talking here and is very good at it. KM warns Reno Scum and says they don’t know what they got into. Fallah Bahh seemingly warns them, but we can’t translate.
– Impact tapes their ONO PPV with OVW and has the Opening Day Twitch Special Event with Rockstar Pro on Saturday. They also advertise United We Stand live on FITE. They run down the card, shouting out the newest addition, YAMATO vs. Rich Swann.
– GWN Flashback Moment of The Week is another match from the Impact vs. LU card form 2018 as LAX takes on The Mack and Killshot. I was at this event, and this match ruled.
– Eddie Edwards is talking to Kenny backstage as Eli Drake interrupts. He gives him credit for beating him last week. He does take a moral victory for getting Edwards to beat him using his pure wrestling skill. He is seeking a tag team alliance with Edwards, but he and Kenny are not interested. I would like to see some advancement in this storyline. [c]
-Next week Scarlett Bordeaux will announce her debut opponent as she admires herself in the mirror.
(4) TESSA BLANCHARD vs. DELILAH DOOM
Tessa attacks Delilah before she even has a chance. Delilah gets up and slaps her, then takes her down. Tessa attempts to keep up with Delilah’s fast paced offense but gets cuaght early with flashy arm drags. Tessa’s power makes a difference when she hits a huge sitout powerbomb. She has a wrist lock on Delilah, repeatedly hitting clotheslines. Tessa hit a huge elbow and a vicious dropkick into the ropes. Delilah hits a 619 and heads to the top for a missile dropkick for a 2 count. She catches her with a crucifix pin, but Tessa deadlifts her up and drops her on the mat. She picks her up again for the Buzzsaw. 3 count. Tessa warns Impact management to give her a title rematch or else.
WINNER: Blanchard by pinfall. (**1/2)
(J.I.’S Thoughts: This was a solid sprint. There isn’t too much to say about it.)
– Brian Cage is interviewed by his significant other backstage. He has faith that he and Johnny will work well tonight as a team. [c]
– Rosemary speaks about the Great War which is next week. Kiera Hogan and Jordynne Grace approach her and would like to join her army. Rosemary says this is not their fight, as Kiera gets passionate in standing her ground and wanting to fight for her. They must promise to back off once Allie is recovered.
(5) ETHAN PAGE vs. WENTZ
Page is out to his All Ego song which is catchy. Wentz follows, energized unlike last week in his encounters with Gama Singh. All Ego is way slimmer than the last set of tapings. Wentz shows off his athleticism early, topped off with a big springboard spinning crossbody. Page uses his power the neutralize The Rascal. He continues with some big power moves including a falcon arrow variation for a near fall. The crowd is hot for Wentz, leading to him coming back with some flashy strikes sending Page into the corner. Running knee from Wentz, followed by a PK, and a standing shooting star press for the 2. He goes for his springboard cutter, however, Page counters, but ends up ringside. Lope attempt but Ethan Page catches him with a big backbreaker. Page mocks the NFL Alumni, and pushes Morlon Greenwood, only to be shoved to the floor. The refs restrain the former linebacker. Wentz hits a huge dive to the outside and sends him in for the springboard cutter for the W.
WINNER: Wentz by pinfall. (**½)
(J.I.’S Thoughts: A good match with some NFL interaction. These two seemed to click and hit some flashy moves on each other in front of an energetic crowd. Ethan Page loses again and needs his old buddy Josh Alexander here ASAP if he wants to pick up some wins… which is a shame because he’s funny on social media.)
– Tommy Dreamer is now on his phone backstage, greeted by the man of the hour, Glenn Gilberti. Dreamer explains his job to the man fka Disco Inferno. He sends him into another office but he is now greeted by the boss, The Anthem Owl. Dreamer forces him in there and he gets attacked by a shrieking bird off camera. Now, this is wrestling folks. [c]
– Another weird Ace Austin vignette as multiple people repeat his name a hundred more times and announces his debut for next week.
– Sami Callihan reveals the truth. He says when Swann was 17, his mom was dead and his father was murdered. Callihan allowed him to stay with him in this time of need. Callihan doesn’t take kindly to Swann denying his oVe invitation after using him for shelter, food, etc. He sent Swann to the hospital because he loves him and gives him one last warm welcome to the oVe family.
– Moose and Kross are backstage and Moose Money is sporting quite possibly his most outrageous outfit ever. It’s indescribable. Killer Kross vows to not be a loser again. Moose compares Johnny to a hot chick at a bar that teases men. The only differences are that Johnny is ugly and he is not a chick. His words, not mine. He is handing out title shots to anyone that wants it, including chefs. They are ready to take him out. [c]
– LAX is backstage explaining their actions to Konnan. K Dogg is heated and is doing things his way, and is getting a rematch next week.
(6) JOHNNY IMPACT & BRIAN CAGE vs. MOOSE & KILLER KROSS
Kross and Cage kick it off and The Machine immediately nails a 619 and tags in the champ. Moose comes in and eats a lot of offense from the duo. Cage and Johnny hit double team moves as we go to a commercial break. [c]
Kross eats more double team offense. Cage hits his superduperplex and Johnny whiffs on the Impact Elbow. He attempts his parkour forearm but seems to tweak his neck. Cage tags himself in and pays the toll as Moose and Kross gang up on him, attacking him with the belt. Brian Cage is split wide open! The Machine is in deep trouble. If he can’t overcome the odds, he misses out on his title shot once more. Cage begins to fight back and meets Moose with a huge discus clothesline. Kross begs to finish him and comes in. He gets caught in a big F5. Taya comes running down in a panic to see her man. Cage is yelling at her, Kross nails the Saito slam, Moose hits the No Jackhammer Needed, and Kross chokes him out for the win.
WINNER: Kross & Moose when Kross taps Brian Cage. (***1/4)
(J.I.’S Thoughts: This match told a great story and had some hectic action showing Kross and Moose as two brutal monsters, Johnny dodging the matchup with Cage (seemingly inadvertently), and Cage was a machine. Just a really fun match that did everything right.)
FINAL THOUGHTS (6.5 of out of 10): This show started off a little bland with a lack of important angles but really picked up especially with the main event. It was nice to see such great storyline progression for the main event scene. Another good week of Impact television.
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S REPORT: 2/22 Impact Wrestling TV Report: LAX vs. Lucha Bros., Eddie Edwards vs. Ei Drake, Moose vs. Killer Kross, Desi Hit Squad vs. The Rascalz
Taped Impact from Directv and once again was in four half hour segments and out of order. WTF????