SPOTLIGHTED PODCAST ALERT (YOUR ARTICLE BEGINS A FEW INCHES DOWN)...
IMPACT HITS
Aries and Impact: A Johhny Impact promo in the hits column? Never thought I’d see the day! In fact, this was the best babyface promo I’ve ever seen him cut. Once he drops the cornball catchphrases and goes into no nonsense mode, he’s not half bad. Austin Aries was top level here. Together, these two made their Bound For Glory match more enticing. They were the exceptions. Blame creative on almost everything else on the show being counterproductive.
Rich Swann vs. Matt Sydal: A good, but not great television match. It’s bizarre this wasn’t just saved for the pay-per-view, since they’ve built up this rivalry for weeks on television. While it was nice to see Ethan Page not play the dead on arrival Chandler Park character, it’s also a bit insulting for long-time viewers that the announcers didn’t acknowledge this was a guy we’d already seen. Still, there was no good way out of it. In the future, they should consider not booking talented wrestles as hopelessly unfunny comedy fodder.
Konnan and Kingston: Eddie Kingston is a virtual lock to deliver a great performance on TV every single week. His taunting of Konnan continues to be great and makes you want to see the two teams beat the hell out of each other. A short but effective segment.
IMPACT MISSES
The Main Event: I’m assuming that the Impact creative regime wanted to give fans a little taste of the upcoming marquee brawl between OVE and Pentagon Jr., Fenix, and Brian Cage at the pay-per-view, but it only dulled my desire to see it. These two groups have been physically involved in altercations every week, leaving little intrigue of what it will be like when they lock up for a full fledged battle. This was the time to put some real heat on OVE, so viewers would think they actually stood a chance. That’s not what went down. The Bound for Glory match is already a waste of all six men, so it’s frustrating to see the creative continue letting them down on a weekly basis.
Eli Loses: So let me get this straight, after weeks of Eli Drake taking on random opponents for absolutely no reason, we see him lose to a guy in a skeleton costume that we have never, ever seen before on Impact television? If La Parka is going to join the promotion full-time and the creative team has major plans for him, well…then fine. It’s still not advisable, but it at least makes some since. But it’s unlikely that we’ll see La Parka make more appearances. Really, though, it’s incredible to see how far Drake has fallen after main-eventing last year’s show. This was an idiotic move that didn’t benefit their upcoming version of WrestleMania in any way.
Death by Clown: Again, please, someone explain to me how this is supposed to get fans excited to order Bound for Glory? This was another waste of time and flat-out sucked. First of all, Murder Clown needs to learn how to throw some convincing punches. Second of all, who is Murder Clown and why is he on TV? Third…what is the point of any of this? What’s the payoff to this feud? Grado and Joe Hendry have already humiliated Katarina multiple times on TV. They’ve got their revenge. Hendry continuing to write and produce music about her in his free time makes him seem like an obsessive jerk. He already turned her down. He should move on with his life. Really, I don’t care who wins this thing. I just want this rivalry to end.
Kidnapping: A few weeks ago, we saw a child nearly die to forward an angle. Now, Alisha Edwards has been kidnapped. So uh… someone just call the police and get her back.
The Smoke Show: Scott D’Amore needs to realize that his sense of humor isn’t good for business. A little campy comedy goes a long way and this promotion is overloaded with it at the moment. Petey Williams putting his head between Scarlett Bordeaux’s legs? Trevor Lee had the Impact line of the year when he said “This has nothing to do with anything!” If only the writing team could be so self aware.
Singh vs. Raju: This match is booked for next week. Not to beat a dead horse but uh…how is this supposed to make people want to pay $40 for the pay-per-view? Couldn’t this angle wait?
Overall show: A dreadful, embarrassing, amateurish offering. If this episode had aired in February it would be bad, but taking place just 10 days before their biggest show of the year is inexcusable. Every single segment should have been designed to make people shell out their hard earned money for Bound for Glory. Instead, it was time to clown around for two hours. And with Psycho Clown, I guess literally. A completely baffling episode on almost every account. Any hope of Don Callis and Scott D’Amore turning this thing around is long gone at the moment. There were a string of good shows a few weeks back, but at this point, that seems more luck than anything. Almost every wrestler who has appeared on Impact the past few weeks is less cool and less interesting because of it.
Score: 2/10
Callis said several times that he wanted to get rid of the ‘solliness’ that’s plauged Impact Wrestling. How can he get rid of it if he’s the one booking and writing it? Dumb ass.
I thought the Smokeshow was good for a laugh, and I like Scarlett’s bits. I don’t see it as a miss at all.
I’d also disagree with the statement, “Almost every wrestler who has appeared on Impact the past few weeks is less cool and less interesting because of it.” That’s not true at all. Sure they’ve had some misses, when they’ve gone a bit over the top trying to be LU. Aries and his guys, Bah, KM, LAX, Kingston, and even (you said this yourself, this week) Johnny Impact have all been good.
2/10!? That seems overly harsh.