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MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
Sept. 6, 2018
Taped from Toronto, Ontario (Rebel Complex)
Aired on Pop TV
Announcers: Josh Mathews & Don Callis
Immediately following Impact on POP TV, head over to pwtorchlivecast.com and listen to Mike McMahon and Andrew Soucek break down this week’s Impact and talk anything and everything Impact Wrestling on the Thursday PWTorch Livecast. Call the show at 515-605-9345 or listen online at pwtorchlivecast.com
— Impact began with highlights from last week’s ReDefined episode.
— The Impact opening montage aired.
— Crowd shots were shown as Josh Mathews welcomed us to the show. He said that there are two more weeks that the show will be emanating from Toronto before Impact moves to Mexico.
(1) RICH SWANN vs. PETEY WILLIAMS
The story of this match is that Swann needs a win in order to get one step closer to an X-Division Championship match against Brian Cage. Williams needs a win, coming off a loss last week to Swann. Matt Sydal came out prior to the bell ringing and began yelling something at Rich Swann in the ring. Sydal joined Mathews and Callis on commentary.
Williams went for a schoolboy not long after the opening bell. Swann flipped out of a German Suplex and then hit a springboard cutter for a two count. Williams caught Swann and went for a Sharpshooter but Swann got to the rope. Williams hit a side Russian leg sweep into a two count. Swann hit a standing Shooting Star Press for a two count. Swann hit a spinning superkick on the outside. Swann hit a 450 from the apron to the floor on top of Williams. Swann was in complete control, but Sydal said he needed to help Swann and he left the commentary table and went to the ramp. Swann missed a 450 off the top rope – Sydal had him delayed on a distraction – and Williams hit a Canadian Destroyer for the win.
WINNER: Petey Williams in 8:00
After the match, Josh Mathews said that Swann was going to win the match before Sydal went to ringside.
(McMahon: It was nice to see the announcers lay out the consequences before the match began. Williams needed a win after losing to Swann last week, and two losses in a row would push him farther down in the “rankings” essentially. Swann, meanwhile, needed another win to get closer to an X-Division Title match, and the announcers laid that out before the match began. That’s smart, and lets the viewers know that there are immediate consequences to the outcome of the match; the wrestlers either get closer to a title match, or they don’t. Sydal was good on commentary, and it feels like they’re headed towards a Sydal-Swann match at some point, perhaps at Bound for Glory?)
— Aries, Moose and Killer Kross were shown arriving at the building.
— Backstage after a break, Sydal said he was trying to show Swann enlightenment. Swann shot back that he didn’t give a damn about his enlightenment. Swann told Sydal to stay away from him.
(2) JOE HENDRY & GRADO vs. THE DESI HIT SQUAD (w/ Katarina)
Joe Hendry sang a song on the entrance about being in “plutonic love” with Katarina. The Desi Hit Squad jumped Grado before the bell. Don Callis asked if plutonic love was illegal in certain states? Hendry and Grado hit a tandem elbow for a two count. Raju hit a cutter on Grado for a two count. Mathews plugged the Jericho cruise. Mathews plugged the Las Vegas TV tapings in November, as tickets are on sale now. Hendry was getting double-teamed while Grado was out on the apron and was on a knee. Grado eventually tagged in after Hendry slammed both Desi Hit Squad members. Grado missed a rolling dive in the corner. Desi Hit Squad hit a Sky High on Grado for the win.
WINNER: The Desi Hit Squad in 5:00.
After the match, Hendry and Katarina were on the outside and looked upset at Grado. Katarina and Hendry got into the ring. Katarina called Grado an embarrassment for losing week after week. She said she had a surprise for Grado, and said she doesn’t love him and instead she’s in love with his best friend, Joe. Katarina went over to Joe and began making out with him. Hendry shoved her off of him and said, “what part of plutonic love don’t you understand?” Hendry said Grado is his best friend. Hendry said he wasn’t angry at Katarina, he was disappointed. Hendry said that Grado isn’t the embarrassment in this situation, Katarina is … so Katarina slapped Hendry and left both of them in the ring. Hendry consoled Grado in the ring.
(McMahon: That was ugly. The acting was cringeworthy, and it’s hard to care about these characters at all. It was a nice little twist with Hendry siding with Grado, and Katarina turning on both of them, but it didn’t seem like the crowd cared all that much. They’ve made it hard for Grado to be a sympathy character, given that he’s always the butt of the joke, and has been for more than a year. For my money, this is the biggest waste of time on the show right now. Maybe it will heat up and become interesting now that there’s finally a split in the threesome, but they’ve been leading up to this for weeks and it’s dragged on for far too long.)
— Backstage, Hendry and Grado were talking about what just happened in the ring. Hendry apologized and said that Grado was the man. Grado said he knows he can trust Hendry now.
— A promo aired for the Jericho Cruise. They plugged LAX vs. the Young Bucks, Sami Callihan vs. Marty Scurll and more.
— The GWN Flashback Moment aired, where Bully Ray wrestled Jeff Hardy in a cage match, when Bully Ray won the World Title and joined Aces and Eights.
— A promo aired for a live Twitch special from Mediacon 2018 in London (noon ET).
— A vignette aired on Su Yung and the undead bridesmaids.
— A promo aired for Bound for Glory, happening in New York next month.
— Bobo sang a song to Scarlett Bordeaux backstage. KM and Fallah Bahh ran into the room and said that they got crucial advice from her, got matching gear, and now they are a tag team. KM said they had Scarlett to thank, and she said that’s what happens when you listen to the smoke show. Scarlett said she loves a man with confidence, and she would do anything for a man like that. Then she left, and KM told Fallah that there was something to that.
— Ei Drake came to the ring and said that he has had fun the last few weeks, and he’s only trying to impress himself. Drake said that he is feeling adventurous, so he wanted to find someone who could impress Eli Drake. He then issued an open challenge.
That brought out Stone Rockwell. Mathews said we would recognize him from his Twitch show on the Impact Twitch channel. Rockwell asked if Eli was Elliott or Elijah? Rockwell said he was a future World Champion, and he is Impact Wrestling’s first and only action-adventure superstar. Rockwell is dressed like Indiana Jones, complete with a whip. Drake said Rockwell can’t become a victim of his own ambition. Drake called out a referee.
(3) ELI DRAKE vs. STONE ROCKWELL
Eli Drake hit a Gravy Train … and won.
WINNER: Eli Drake in 0:11
After the match, Drake said that is a fact of life.
(McMahon: Someone wake me up with something worthwhile happens … honestly, this has been the worst 30 minutes of Impact in months. Eli Drake is spinning his tires right now, and maybe it’s because they thought he was gone from the company and had no real plans for him? Regardless, this is back-to-back segments where things have been eye-rolling. While it doesn’t seem like they have big plans for Stone Rockwell – OK – what did Drake gain by cutting a promo on him and winning in 11 seconds? I’m all for squash matches, but the clunky promo before the match could have been scrapped.)
— A promo aired for the two nights of TV tapings in New York after Bound for Glory.
— Pentagon and Fenix were cutting promos backstage on Brian Cage and OVE. They said if Cage decides not to join the Lucha Brothers, they would take on OVE alone.
— Alicia Atout went into the locker room to find Austin Aries, Moose and Killer Kross. She said everyone wanted to know what happened? Aries sent her away, and said she’d find out later like everyone else. Alisha Edwards barged in and began yelling at Moose. Aries said she has to separate business from personal. Aries told Alisha to worry about her husband, not them, and they left.
(4) TESSA BLANCHARD vs. SU YUNG — Impact Knockouts Championship Match
Tessa rolled to the outside after Su Yung tried to use the mandible claw with a bloody glove. Tessa said Su Yung was crazy. Back in the ring, Su Yung threw Tessa into the corner and then tossed her onto the mat. Blanchard used a modified Indian Death Lock on Tessa but Su Yung battled out with forearms. Tessa tried to use a chair, but the referee wouldn’t let her on the outside. Su Yung threw palm strikes. Su propped Tessa up in a chair and then hit a swanton off the apron onto Tessa. Su Yung rolled Tessa into the ring and covered her for a two count. Su Yung tried to pull Tessa up to the top rope. Tessa hit a diving cutter off the top rope. Tessa crawled over and covered Su Yung for a two count.
[c]
Back from the break, Tessa was throwing forearms at Su Yung in the middle of the ring. Su came back with multiple palm strikes that forced Tessa to the corner. Su went for the Panic Switch but Tessa wiggled out and then hit the Buzzsaw for the win.
WINNER: Tessa Blanchard retains the Knockouts Title in 12:00
Tessa celebrated with the belt after the win. While Su Yung was still laying on the mat, the lights went down and her music started to play. Then, the undead bridesmaids walked down the aisle with a coffin. Tessa looked on from the ring. The bridesmaids opened the coffin and walked away, but Su got up and attacked Tessa Blanchard from behind. Su hit the Panic Switch on Tessa. Su grabbed the championship and dragged Tessa to the coffin. Su Yung put Tessa Blanchard in the coffin and closed the lid. Allie charged out from backstage with Kiera Hogan and attacked Su Yung. Allie and Kiera opened up the coffin and pulled Tessa out. Tessa shoved them away and said she doesn’t need anyone’s help. Tessa grabbed her belt and left.
(McMahon: Really good, competitive match and the post-match angle told a good story, with Tessa getting some sympathy but then resenting Allie and Hogan for helping her. It seems like they’re setting the stage for an “unlikely partners” match at some point, with maybe Allie, Kiera Hogan and Tessa against Su Yung and a couple of her bridesmaids. “An enemy of my enemy is my friend,” sort of.)
— A promo aired on Impact going to Mexico.
— Konnan and King met with the heads of the family, apparently. The “elders” I guess, we’ll call them, said they can’t afford the heat. One said they don’t hurt a child, and what they do as men is men, but you don’t hurt a kid. Konnan said that on the street, you don’t touch kids and family. Konnan said a kid was in the hospital because of King … King said he is making the most money, and everyone in that room had stabbed and cheated to get by. King said they’re making him to be the bad guy, but they all raised the stakes. King said he did what had to be done. The elders then “needed to discuss this for a moment,” and whispered at the table. The elder in the middle said that that they have decided the ceasefire will continue until Oct. 14 in New York City. In NYC on Oct. 14, it all ends, at Bound for Glory. They said it would be Santana, Ortiz and Konnan vs. Homicide, Hernandez and King in a six-man match. They called it the “final war.” Konnan said he should have taken out King a long time ago.
(McMahon: Ok … so apparently in Impact, there isn’t a commissioner or some sort of championship board that makes matches. No, no. Here, the heads of a mob family can also make matches! Again, the acting here was a little suspect. Konnan and King were good, but the three guys at the table were a little … clunky. That being said, it will be interesting to see what happens at Bound for Glory, especially with Konnan and King added to the mix. I expect they’ll raise the bar even more. I mean, they have to, right? If not, why did they run over a kid?)
(5) OVE vs. ACE AUSTIN, ZACH WENTZ & TREY MIGUEL
OVE attacked right at the opening bell. Callihan went for a powerbomb on Wentz but he ducked it and hit a clothesline off the rope. Wentz jumped off Callihan’s back and dove onto OVE on the outside. Ace Austin hit a big dive to the outside. Wentz kicked Callihan in the ring, but Sami came back with a pump kick and a huge clothesline. Jake Crist hit a superkick on Trey Miguel. Dave Crist spiked Miguel onto the mat. Austin tagged in and Dave Crist caught him. Austin tried battling everyone in the corner and he hit a kick off the second rope. Austin hit a running clothesline on Callihan but then he got caught and OVE triple-teamed him with a pair of kicks. Austin a cutter off Crist’s shoulders and Callihan covered him for the win.
WINNERS: Sami Callihan and OVE in 4:00
After the match, Callihan stared at the hard camera. Callihan grabbed Austin again and hit a package piledriver. Callihan called OVE the best trio walking the planet today. Callihan said their rivalry with Pentagon and Fenix will never end. Callihan called out Brian Cage, and said if he stuck his nose in OVE’s business, they will never forget him.
— Austin Aries, Killer Kross and Moose came to the ring. Aries said everyone wants to know why Moose joined them, and he gave the mic to Moose so they could hear it from the man himself. Moose said Edwards was delusional. Moose said that Aries called him and told him he was a Five Star athlete, but he would never be the No. 1 guy in wrestling and Impact if he catered to the idiot fans. Aries took the mic and said Impact has changed, and no one was taking his championship. Aries was about to end the promo, but Johnny Impact appeared.
Aries said Impact looked like a million bucks, and while he looked the part, Aries is the part. Impact said that he was getting a World Title shot at Bound for Glory. After Impact hit the ring, Moose, Aries and Kross jumped Impact and mugged him. They wrapped a chair around Impact’s neck, like they did with Edwards, and smashed it with a chair. The heels celebrated to close the show.
Great show. Mediocre review.