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Lucha Underground Report
Season 4 Episode #11 – “Last Man or Machine Standing”
August 22, 2018
Taped in Los Angeles, Calif.
Aired on Rey Network
Report by Joel Dehnel, PWTorch contributor
-Show opened with a recaps of Pentagon-Cage, Drago-AeroStar and Mack-Mil Muertes.
-El Dragon Azteca walked in on Melissa Santos as she was putting on makeup. He asked her about Fenix and she admitted to missing him more everyday. Dragon pulled out a broken medallion necklace and put it around her neck. He told her that her missing him means he is alive and well because the more she grieves, the more she loved. Santos thanked Dragon for being a good friend.
-Title Card
Announcers: Striker introduced the audience to the show. He hyped the Haunted House match coming up next tonight between Mack and Mil Muertes. Striker pointed out Famous B sitting in the crowd. Vampiro said later night Cage would square off against Pentagon Dark in a Last Man or Machine Standing match.
In ring: Santos introduced Mack as the first competitor to the Haunted House match. Mil Muertes came out next. Catrina grabbed the mic from Santos and told her she forgot to introduce her. Catrina told her to do it the right way b****. Santos stood up and emphatically told her no. Catrina attacked Santos and tossed her head into the cage. Catrina licked Santo’s face then forced her head into the ringside mat. She ended the attack by dropping a flower vase on her head.
[Break]
(1) THE MACK vs. MIL MUERTES (w/Catrina) – Haunted House match (Hardcore Steel Cage match)
Mack landed a series of strikes then got caught by Mil with a slam. Mil placed a trash can on Mack’s head and hit him with a cane. Mack hit some kicks, but Mil countered him with a side slam. Mil beat on Mack’s back with a large pumpkin. Mack hit a DDT then climbed up the turnbuckle. Mil stopped Mack then speared him into the cage. The cage only broke part way so Mil tried the spot again to no avail. Mil decided to just kick Mack out of the ring. Mil slammed Mack on the outside then climbed back into the cage. Mil grabbed a knife off the cage and hit Mack over the head with it. Mack Now a bloody mess, came back and put Mil threw a table in the corner. Mil came roaring back and put Mack threw the table in the other corner. Mil set up a table and attempted a flatliner. Mack countered and hit three consecutive stunners. Mack set Mil on the table and climbed the top turnbuckle. Mil got up off of the table and hit a flatliner threw the table for the win.
WINNER: Mil Muertes at 9:40.
(JD’s Reax: Um…. there was knife in this match and nobody died. When is the last time you saw a knife in a wrestling match? Mil actually hit Mack with the knife and Vampiro said he was stabbing him in the head. If Mil was actually stabbing him, there would have been a homicide. Introducing a knife as a weapon and actually using it in the match has crossed into a new level of garbage.)
Post match: Mil walked up to Catrina for the lick of death, but Catrina told him no.
[Break]
-Famous B thanked every who called and wished him a speedy recovery. He said that since Melissa isn’t here he will announce the next match. And unlike Melissa, he won’t be leaving them. As Famous B went to announce the name, he looked down at his cue card and said oh s***. He introduced Jake Strong to the ring. His opponent tonight is AeroStar.
(2) JAKE STRONG vs. AEROSTAR
Strong towered over AeroStar in the middle of the ring. AeroStar tried to attack Strong, But Strong over powered him and hit a suplex. AeroStar hit a hurricarana followed by a crucifix pin attempt. Strong caught AeroStar on the turnbuckle and launched him off the top. Strong locked in the ankle lock for the submission win.
WINNER: Strong at 2:14.
Post match: Strong held onto the ankle lock past the bell. Drago came into the ring wielding nunchucks. Strong fled to the outside.
[Break]
-Taya and Johnny Mundo held a wedding shower in the backstage locker room. Taya gave Johnny a poster sized photo of of himself holding the Lucha Underground Championship. Johnny appreciated the gift, but said it reminds of how much he lost the title. Taya told him she talked with Antonio Cueto and he will have a championship match the week after their wedding.
Johnny’s manager/attorney requested entry into the party from Ricky Mundo who stood outside the locker room. Ricky denied him entry. The manager insulted Ricky by telling him he is useless and that’s why he is not apart of the party. Ricky’s doll told him to show how useful he is just like how he did to Angelico. Ricky grabbed his pen and brutally stabbed the manager in the neck spraying blood onto Ricky’s face.
A scream could be heard which was revealed to be Taya opening a gift from Jack Evans. Ricky and his creepy doll continued to laugh as their faces were covered in blood.
-Famous B explained the rules of the Last Man or Machine match. He then introduced Cage to the ring followed by Pentagon Dark
(3) Lucha Underground Champion PENTAGON DARK vs. CAGE – Last Man or Machine Standing match for the Lucha Underground Championship
Cage attacked Pentagon from behind. Cage continued the beatdown on the outside of the ring. Cage ripped Pentagon’s mask. Pentagon hit a beer bottle of Cage’s head. Cage no sold the hit then grabbed a broken bottle and drove it into Pentagon’s head. Cage setup a table in the corner of the ring. Pentagon picked up Cage and tossed him threw the table. Pentagon grabbed a chair from under the ring and hit Cage of the hit. Cage brought the action back to the outside and tossed Pentagon into the barricade. Pentagon came back with a trash can shot over the head. Cage grabbed Pentagon on the ropes and suplexed him off the apron through two tables. The referee began his count on Pentagon. Cage setup a new table and brought Pentagon onto the Apron. Pentagon hit Cage over the head again and and slammed Cage through the table. Cage got up at the count of 8 then hit Pentagon with a drill claw in the middle of the ring. Cage setup another table in the ring. Pentagon hit Cage over the head with a trash lid then hit a Mexican destroyer off the top rope through the ring. Pentagon setup several chairs in the ring. Pentagon hit a package piledriver onto the chairs. He then put a chair on Cage arm to damage it. Pentagon “broke” both of Cage’s arms then stomped his head through a cinder block. Cage did not respond to the count of 10.
WINNER: Pentagon at 13:16 to retain the Lucha Underground Championship.
FINAL THOUGHTS: I really don’t know where to begin with this episode. The two hardcore matches on this show had no sense of logic or realism whatsoever. LU has now introduced a knife as legal weapon in hardcore matches. Which prompts the question, why don’t you just stab your opponent in cold murder to win the match? Why go through the trouble of trying to hit them over the head when you could just swing a knife at them?
I couldn’t help, but think of the Johnny Gargano vs. Tomasso Ciampa Last Man Standing match from Takeover last week. Obviously the Takeover match and Pentagon vs. Cage is an apples to oranges comparison, but it is the differences outline the issues that LU has with their hardcore matches, particularly the pacing and frequency of high spots. LU just does constant highspots where there is no time to soak up the impact because they are onto the next dangerous thing. You also cannot buy into the violence because it has become too unrealistic and gimmicky. They are so over the top and violent to point of almost becoming a parody of hardcore. Except there’s nothing funny about the toll that the violence takes on the wrestlers. Especially the multiple unprotected shots to the head.
Cage and Pentagon are capable of having a really top tier match in the ring without any gimmicks. Why must LU water everything down by slapping on a gimmick? Tonight was a low point for what LU has become in terms of their hardcore style. I can only hope that LU will go back to its roots and rely of high workrate matches over Halloween style hardcore garbage.
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S REPORT: 8/15 Lucha Underground TV Report (season 4, ep. 10): Pentagon-Cage angle, Matanza Cueto vs. Saltador, The Reptile Tribe vs. The Mack & Sons of Havoc, Killshot vs. Azteca Jr.
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