8/23 IMPACT WRESTLING RESULTS: McMahon’s live report on Pentagon vs. Sami Callihan in a Mexican Death Match, Brian Cage Speaks

MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
August 23, 2018
Taped from Toronto, Ontario (Rebel Complex)
Aired on Pop TV

Announcers: Josh Mathews & Don Callis

Immediately following Impact on POP TV, head over to pwtorchlivecast.com and listen to Mike McMahon and Andrew Soucek break down this week’s Impact and talk anything and everything Impact Wrestling on the Thursday PWTorch Livecast. Call the show at 515-605-9345 or listen online at pwtorchlivecast.com 

— Eddie Edwards came to the ring for a promo. Edwards talked about challenging Austin Aries for the Impact World Title. Aries came to the ring with Killer Kross, who helped Aries retain the title. Kross and Aries had a back-and-forth exchange with Edwards and then Kross attacked. Edwards began to get the upper hand, but Aries chop-blocked his knee. Kross locked Aries in a rear-naked choke while Aries wrapped up Edwards in a Figure Four. Aries and Kross wrapped a chair around Edwards’ neck but then Moose’s music then played and he made the save, chasing off Aries and Kross with a chair.

(McMahon’s Analysis: So there’s Moose. He’s been missing since Slammiversary, unless you were watching the shows on Twitch where he, for some reason, helped Caleb Konley in a match a few weeks ago. … Good promo and it seems evident they’re going to book an Aries/Kross vs. Edwards/Moose match at some point. It will also be interesting to see where they go with the World Title. Right now, Edwards could be due a rematch, where Kross screwed him out of his title match, or they could go with Moose again. However, the latter makes little sense unless he does something to earn back that title shot, considering he lost clean at Slammiversary).

— Sami Callihan cut a backstage promo with OVE on the OVE cam. Callihan said that all the bad in his career right now is due to Pentagon Jr. Callihan said that his guys and Pentagon’s guys are banned from ringside.

— Back from the break, Moose and Edwards were backstage. They were talking about how they would take care of Aries and Kross. Alisha walked in and gave Moose a huge hug, then she got annoyed with Edwards being so excited that Moose was back, and she said that she needed to go get ready for her match.

(1) ZACHARY WENTZ vs. MATT SYDAL

Matt Sydal tried to get Wentz to open his third eye. Wentz hit a corkscrew and then a dive to the outside over the top rope. Sydal went under the ring and came out on the other side, charging Wentz with a running knee. Back in the ring Sydal caught Wentz with a power bomb. Wentz hit a standing moonsault for a two count. Wentz hit a codebreaker but then he got caught going for a running shooting star press. Sydal hit a knee and a side kick before turning him inside out with a xx for the win.

WINNER: Matt Sydal

(McMahon’s Analysis: They put over Wentz on commentary. Callis said he only wanted a win (how about that, wins are important?) and Callis said that Sydal needed to watch out because Wentz is extremely athletic. Truthfully, Wentz looked good, and I wouldn’t mind seeing more of him. They mentioned that he teams with Dezmond Xavier on the indie scene, and perhaps they could utilize them as a team on Impact. It’s not like they have Xavier doing much as a singles right now).

— Backstage, Trevor Lee and Caleb Konley found Eli Drake, who asked when they became friends? Drake said he needed Lee and Konley last week, but he doesn’t need them anymore. Drake said that Konley and Lee couldn’t beat Joe Hendry, and he couldn’t even beat “these guys,” as two guys walked through the door. Lee and Konley challenged the two random guys to a match to prove to Drake that they were his friends. The two men just looked at each other and said, “we got this.”

— A promo video aired on Impact taping television in Mexico next month.

— Brian Cage cut a backstage promo, with video clips stitched in. Cage talked about beating Lashley, saying he proved (twice) that he’s the future and Lashley was the past. Cage said that no one looks like him or can do the things that he can do. Cage said that he wanted to take over the X Division when he came to Impact. Cage said that he’s Bo Jackson and LeBron James all rolled into one, and he’s the next evolution of pro wrestling.

— The GWN Moment of the Week aired, featuring AJ Styles returning to Impact to help James Storm against Christopher Daniels and Kaz.

— Backstage, Fallah Bahh gave KM a gift. KM asked if this was supposed to help them? KM seemed concerned, and the show went to a break.

— A promo aired for Bound for Glory tickets, which go on sale Saturday.

— A video package aired on Sami Callihan vs. Pentagon, including Bound for Glory highlights.

— Gama Singh introduced the Desi Hit Squad.

(2) DESI HIT SQUAD vs. KM & FALLAH BAHH

KM had on the same gear as Fallah Bahh … so we know what the gift was. KM had on his boots, but Fallah made him take off the boots and wrestle barefoot, like Fallah does. Bahh hit Raju with a leg drop to the back of his head and then a crossbody. KM tagged in and threw some kicks, before shaking off his foot. The Desi Hit Squad double-teamed KM with a back cracker. KM threw chops at Raju and then hit both Desi Hit Squad members with a double clothesline before tagging in Bahh. Raju tried to jump on Bahh for a sleeper but he never sold it and collapsed into the corner. KM and Fallah each rolled over an opponent. Th Desi Hit Squad came back with kicks but KM countered and hit Raju with a huge power bomb into a codebreaker (wow!) and Bahh dropped on Raju from the second rope.

WINNERS: KM & Fallah Bahh

(McMahon’s Analysis: That was a fun match, and the crowd is very into KM and Fallah Bahh. KM looked great on that finisher … that was impressive. Bahh is a comedic character that I can get into. He’s not over the top and he’s very subtle, but it works).

— Joe Hendry and Katarina were talking to Grado backstage. Katarina said they are the laughingstock of Impact, and she didn’t sign up for that when she started dating him. Katarina and Hendry walked off and Scarlett Bordeaux appeared. She asked why Grado looked so sad? Grado broke down in tears about being afraid of losing Katarina (I think). Scarlett told Grado to come on his show, and she’d solve his woman problems. But, she said that Grado needed to do something for her. The camera cut to Grado pole dancing in a thong while Scarlett and her butler (?) looked on. Scarlett said Grado needed to be punished, and she spanked him.

(McMahon’s Analysis: What the hell was that? Seriously, Impact has put together some really good shows over the last few weeks and months, but that might have been the single dumbest segment they’ve produced all year. Good Lord).

(3) KIERA HOGAN vs. ALISHA EDWARDS

Allie was at ringside for the match. Mathews plugged TV tapings in Las Vegas in November. Mathews said during the match and Alisha Edwards and Eddie Edwards were basically estranged … that she was no longer living with him, etc. The match itself was fairly back and forth, with Hogan and Edwards each getting in a fair amount of offense. Hogan got the win.

WINNER: Kiera Hogan

After the match, Allie entered the ring and raised Hogan’s hand. Allie grabbed a mic and said that she was so proud of Kiera because that match was amazing (OK …). Allie said she didn’t want to steal Kiera’s moment, but she had something to say. Hogan told her to say it. Allie told Su Yung that she took away Madison Rayne and Rosemary. Allie said that Su Yung brought her into the darkness, and that changed her, and it showed her that she has a purpose to end Su Yung. Allie said that every time she tries to end Su Yung, she has to look over her shoulder for Tessa Blanchard, so she needs them both in front of her at the same time. Allie challenged Su and Tessa to a triple threat match next week.

— Johnny Impact was a guest at some pool part in Toronto. The interviewer, who was wearing a ridiculously ugly black, blue and pink jacket, asked Impact about Kongo Kong and Impact said he took care of Kongo last week and nothing stands between him and the World Title. Impact was about to say that the Impact World title was next for him, and Kongo Kong attacked. Kong and Impact fought and Impact tossed Kong into the pool.

(McMahon’s Analysis: This didn’t look very good. Impact needed to yell because it was an outdoor pool party and it seemed like loud music was playing. Then, when Kong attacked, everyone in the pool area — it was packed — looked completely indifferent to what was going on around them. The people in the pool had no reaction, neither did the people standing five feet from the fight, filming on their phones. It just looked too staged and it didn’t seem like it was the right audience to be in front of. … That’s not on Kong or Impact, they can only play with the cards they’re dealt. But someone in production or upper management should have watched the footage and realized it wouldn’t have played well on television).

— Backstage, Tessa Blanchard said she wants the Knockouts Title. Tessa said that she would accept the triple threat match, but only if the title was on the line.

— Alicia Atout was walking around outside and interviewed Rich Swann, who said he chose Impact Wrestling because of the buzz around the company. Swann said he’s in Impact to win the X Division Championship, because he’s watched AJ Styles, Amazing Red, Alex Shelley and more win that title. Atout wished Swann luck and gave him a hug.

— Pentagon Jr. cut a promo on Sami Callihan from backstage.

— Aries and Kross were with Atout backstage. Aries addressed Moose and said that he put himself right back in harm’s way. Aries said that first time around, they crushed Moose’s dreams, but now they’re here to end his career. Aries said it was time they settled things once and for all next week.

(4) TREVOR LEE & CALEB KONLEY (w/ Eli Drake) vs. BRANDON TIDWELL & MR. ATLANTIS

Drake said that everyone in the ring were dummies, and he was excited to watch this train wreck. Konley tried for a Gravy Train, but Tidwell (I think?) rolled up  Konley.

WINNERS: Tidwell & Mr. Atlantis

Tidwell and Atlantis ran to the back as Lee and Konley were stunned in the ring. Drake said he had no investment in the match at all, and actually laughed at ringside. Callis said that Drake was good at commentary, and asked if he wanted to get rid of Josh and do commentary full time. Drake them seemed to get real, and said if they gave him a check, he’d do it. Then he looked right in the camera and yelled, “pay me!” There was a little kid out there with LAX and he was holding the titles on his shoulder.

— LAX was on “the block” celebrating their win last week to get back the Impact World Tag Team Championship. OGz were shown driving in a car while LAX celebrated. Konnan said he had a big surprise in his car across the street. Konnan told LAX and the rest of the boys to come with him. The OGz pulled up almost ran down Konnan with a car, but they did run over the kid with the belts before the show cut to a break.

(McMahon’s Analysis: Did they just kill a child on television? I think they just killed a child on TV, and it didn’t even close the show. … I’m a big LAX fan. In fact, I think they’ve been the best act in wrestling for the last year. But these heavily-produced, non-realistic segments I’m not a fan of. It’s not on the talent, but the idea that this type of production works on a wrestling show, where you’re supposed to be simulating a sport, is lost on me).

— Back from the break, Mathews and Callis were on camera and said it was their job to continue the show, but something has to be done about the OGz. Mathews then previewed what would happen next week at ReDefined.

(McMahon’s Analysis: Hey, a child may have died outside, but here’s what’s happening next week! Now onto the death match in our main event! … Seriously though, this is why that type of storytelling and production doesn’t work in pro wrestling. Not when you have to come back from a break and go to the next match, while a kid was apparently just killed outside the building, on your TV show.)

(5) PENTAGON JR. vs. SAMI CALLIHAN — Mexican Death Match

As soon as the bell rang, Pentagon and Callihan ran to the outside to get weapons. Pentagon and Callihan both grabbed chairs and fought with them like swords. Pentagon backed Callihan into the corner and took off his vest so he could chop him. Callihan got up and yelled at Pentagon to chop him again. On the outside, Callihan was setting up tables against the railing. Callihan tried to suplex Pentagon off the apron and through the table, but Pentagon blocked it. Pentagon dove on Callihan to the outside, and they both crashed through the table.

[c]

Back from the break, Pentagon had a piñata and he began beating Callihan with it. Pentagon opened the piñata to reveal a staple gun and he proceeded to staple Callihan over and over. Pentagon stapled Callihan’s hat to his head and then ripped it off. Pentagon opened another piñata to reveal clippers, which he cut Callihan’s hair with. The crowd chanted for Pentagon to shave Callihan’s beard. Callihan fought free with a groin claw and then Callihan took the clippers and smashed them on the floor. On the outside, Callihan hit Pentagon with a trash can. Callihan put a trash can over Pentagon’s head and then took a full-blown baseball swing at the trash can with a baseball bat. Pentagon fought back and hit a Death Valley Driver through a table on the outside. Pentagon opened the last piñata to find a bunch of legos. Pentagon scattered them in the ring and tried for a package piledriver. Callihan hit Pentagon with a package piledriver on the legos for a two count. Pentagon kicked Callihan in the groin and hit a Fear Factor for a two count. Pentagon set up a table in the ring while the crowd chanted, “we want fire!” … Up to the top rope, Callihan put Pentagon through the table from the second rope with a package piledriver for the win.

WINNER: Sami Callihan

(McMahon’s Analysis: This felt like a miniature version of their Slammiversary match, given the TV time constraints. They used some of the same weapon spots (staples, etc.) but I thought their Slammiversary match was better and more athletic. There were more near falls in their PPV match. That’s not a criticism either … you would want your best matches to be on PPV, right?)

After the match, Callihan celebrated while Pentagon rolled around in the ring as the show went off the air.