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The following report was originally published on PWTorch.com ten years ago this week…
KELLER’S TNA IMPACT REPORT
AUGUST 22, 2008
TAPED IN ORLANDO, FLA.
[Q1]
-They opened with a recap of last week’s show with background music “Soulcrusher” by Operator. It included the key phrase by Mike Tenay saying Samoa Joe’s Achilles heel is his temper plus the “mystery of the guitar.” The show is titled: “A.J. Styles: Olympic Gold Medalist?”
-Jeremy Borash interviewed Kurt Angle in the parking garage as he arrived. Angle said he came there to get his Gold Medal back that was stolen from him last week. He said it’s Planet Angle now and he’s going to stick his flag straight up Styles’s “bleep.”
-The Impact opening aired with the video game footage. Tenay and Don West introduced and previewed the show including Gail Kim’s final TNA match.
1 — ROBERT ROODE (w/James Storm, Jacqueline) vs. HERNANDEZ (w/Selinas)
No sign of Homicide again, still selling his injuries. As the ref was distracted, Storm took a cheap shot at Hernandez at ringside. West said Roode wouldn’t have a chance against Hernandez if not for help from Storm. Tenay shifted into plugging once again other matches or segments scheduled for the show. He said Karen’s Angle was taped earlier and things got out of control. He plugged a special interview with Kevin Nash regarding Joe and Sting. At 4:00 Hernandez made a comeback. He flipped Roode to the mat face-down from a Border Toss position for a near fall. Roode caught Hernandez on a charge into the corner and then hit a second rope flip cutter for a two count. When he went for the fisherman’s suplex, Hernandez blocked it and face-planed him. He set up a Border Toss. Jackie entered. Selinas followed and almost fell more out of her top than she already was. They brawled as Hernandez hit Roode with a flying shoulder tackle. Storm helped Hernandez from the ring apron. Roode charged at Hernandez, Hernandez moved, but Roode stopped short of hitting Storm. Hernandez came up behind and gave Roode a backward slam out of a torture rack for the win.
WINNER: Hernandez in 6:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4 — Solid match, decent length for a TV opener. I’d have cared more about the match as a viewer with a short soundbite from each wrestlers either right before they headed to the ring or in a pretaped inset.
[Commercial Break]
[Q2]
-Styles asked Borash to introduce him for his interview as an Olympic Gold Medalist. Styles said there’s no mystery where Angle keeps getting the black bat. He said things aren’t going to be pretty as more of this unravels. Styles challenged Angle to a ladder match with the medal hanging above center-ring. Angle charged toward Styles asking for the medal. Security held Angle back as Styles taunted Angle.
-They cut away to Tenay and West at ringside recapping the appearances of the guitar lately. They don’t even say Jeff Jarrett’s name, as if stating the obvious conjecture would be ruining a surprise or something. They went to hyping the matches on this episode again, the third time in 20 minutes.
2 — “SHOWTIME” ERIC YOUNG & B.G. JAMES vs. MOTOR CITY MACHINE GUNNS (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley)
Young and James both collapsed in fright at the sound of the pre-match pyro. I’d have ranked this the least likely tag team match I’d see on TV this week. What an odd mixture of one established babyface team and two singles wrestlers with nothing in common. Early in the match Tenay and West talked about Shelley’s gradual signs of turning heel. They spoke of being disappointed in his actions against Consequences Creed. Sabin seemed to scare Young early with some hand gestures. B.G. tagged in and was double-teamed promptly by Sabin and Shelley. West really put over the teamwork, saying the Gunns are incredible and work as one. Young played to the crowd as they cheered B.G. hot-tagging him. Young did a Flair flip into the corner with success, then rolled up Sabin for a near fall. Nice pace to the action from there with all four with Young scoring the pin at the end. Tenay complimented Young and B.G. winning in their first tag match together.
WINNERS: B.G. & Young in 4:00.
STAR RATING: *
-Afterward Shelly slapped B.G.’s hand in a show of apparent sportsmanship. Sabin spit in his hand and then slapped B.G. B.G. tackled Sabin. Young and Shelly tried to pry them apart. Security also intervened. B.G. yelled at the Gunns as they left that they better show respect or he’ll take it from them.
-Borash told Kurt Angle, as he approached Booker T’s locker room, to be sure to show respect for his locker room. Angle complained about not having a special locker room, then entered. Borash told him to late to take off his shoes. Booker immediately asked him to remove his shoes. Strangely, Borash didn’t either, and Booker called both of them on it. Angle asked Booker for a favor. He said there’s a Sting operation going on between them. Booker said, “I thought Sting was on our side.” Angle said he meant a sting operation with the guitars showing up. Booker said he still has a bump on his head from the guitar at Hard Justice. Angle asked Booker to be in his corner later for the ladder match in case a certain person with a guitar shows up. Booker said he could help him, but he has a problem of his own – “with one Rhynoceros.” He asked for them to have some champaign in anticipation of his victory later tonight. Angle said he doesn’t drink. Booker said, “More for me, my friend.”
[Commercial Break]
[Q3]
-West threw to a video package on the Sonjay Dutt-Black Machismo-So Cal Val saga. We learned from their James Earl Jones sound-alike that their relationship is a sordid triangle of hate and deceit.
-Karen’s Angle featured So Cal Val. Karen asked about the courtship with Jay Lethal and his best friend Sonjay ruining it. Dutt got emotional as she talked about being lost. Karen said Jay gave her an ultimatum last week. She said she doesn’t deserve to be stuck in the middle. Dutt walked in and said he overheard what was being said. He said he loves her and he would never put her in an awkward position like Jay did. He said he wanted to know what he has to do to get her to pick him. He moved in for a kiss. Lethal dove at Dutt and knocked the couch over and pounded on him as Val called for him to stop. Again, Jay looked like the bad guy here, and it got worse as Jay flung Val to the ground. Dutt leaned over to check on her, then they cut back to West and Tenay at ringside.
-Tenay said the situation with Dutt and Lethal has taken a turn they never expected. Yes, it’s pro wrestling. We’d never expect such a thing! West said if it wasn’t for bad luck for Jay, he’d never have any luck at all. They hyped the rest of the show.
-Rough Cut with Consequences Creed: A good friend of his talked about how into wrestling Creed is and how he has a stack of DVDs he watches of various TNA stars. He said Creed showed great perseverance as an amateur wrestler. Creed talked fondly about winning a tournament.
[Commercial Break]
3 — MATT MORGAN vs. FRANKIE CAPONE
Morgan fended of a Capone attack at the bell and quickly took control with a corner splash. He continued to celebrate after nearly every move. After his Hellivator finisher, West said Capone is the latest member of Morgan’s Mile High Club.
WINNER: Morgan in 2:00.
-Afterward, Brother Ray walked out mouthing off at Morgan. He called him a “big moron” and “stupid.” He said the Blue Print just beat a Blue Berry. He asked how it feels to know he beat someone with no future in the business. He entered the ring and asked Morgan to take a step back. He asked if he wants to beat him. Brother Devon joined Ray in a two-on-one attack. Abyss walked out for the save. He fended off a half-assed attack by Team 3D. Morgan got up and helped Abyss clear the ring.
[Q4]
[Commercial Break]
-Tenay’s sitdown interview with Kevin Nash aired next. Tenay asked Nash about the extent of his relationship with Joe. He said he saw some tapes and brought him to the attention of TNA management. He said he saw raw potential. He said they’ve spent time together. He said he can’t spend time with someone he doesn’t hit it off with. He said they’ve become friends. He said it’s no secret that Joe’s Achilles heel is his temper and it might cost him his championship. Tenay said it appears Nash is the only wrestler in TNA who has a relationship with Sting. He asked for details on what’s on his mind. He said he can’t speak for Sting, but he’s known him for 20 years and it used to be a business of men, not boys. He said when he worked his first house show, Harley Race was in the locker room. He said he gave him his chair. He said he dressed standing up. He said today the young kids don’t acknowledge you, much less give up the chair. He said the business has changed. Tenay said wrestlers don’t get the pecking order. Nash said they get it, but they don’t care. Nash said Steve told him he’ll be here next week, so he’ll let Sting speak for himself.
-West said what Nash said is intriguing. Tenay said next week they’ll finally get answers to their questions. Tenay threw to Lauren’s attempt to interview The Beautiful People.
-As Lauren asked then about the TNA Knockout Title match, Angelina touched Lauren’s hair. Velvet asked if that’s a dead animal on her head. Then she said she’s going to win the title and give it a makeover. Kip James walked in and whispered something to them. They followed him into the locker room where Taylor Wilde was getting her hair worked on. They jumped Taylor and threw a box of hair supplies at her, then painted her face.
-Borash interviewed Rhyno. He asked him about facing Booker in a qualifying match to Four Ways to Glory. Rhyno said there’s a lot of drama going on around here and none of it has to do with wrestling. He asked Borash to hand him the mic. He said he’s there to wrestle and he’s going to go through him to get into the main event at No Surrender. He yelled at the top of his lungs for no apparent reason. He finished “Gore! Gore! Gore!” and snorted. Yes, he’s intense, but so much so, it’s almost cartoonish. If nobody else yelled in TNA, it might work, but too many people yell too often.
[Commercial Break]
[Q5]
4 — BOOKER T (w/Sharmell) vs. RHINO — Qualifying Match
Good to see Impact timed out where this match began just as the second hour began rather than the show being at commercial break. Rhino pummeled Booker in a corner at 1:00. Sharmell put Rhino’s leg on the bottom rope to break up the subsequent pin attempt. Christian Cage walked to ringside and carried Sharmell to the back. They cut to an early break. A little too quickly as the match barely began.
[Commercial Break]
Booker was on offense after the break. They showed a clip of Booker’s comeback by avoiding a Rhino attempt at a Gore, then kicking Rhino in the jaw. Rhino avoided a scissors kick and then took Booker down. He hit a belly-to-belly and then set up a top rope diving headbutt. Booker moved and then hit an axe kick for the win.
WINNER: Booker in 9:00.
STAR RATING: *1/2 — It was fine. The early commercial break took away the chance to fully invest in the match as a viewer, but it was good to see Booker get a relatively clean win (not counting Rhino scoring a near fall that Sharmell broke up early on).
-Lauren asked if Gail Kim is sure a street fight against Awesome Kong is a good idea. Kim asked with all due respect what kind of stupid question that is. Kim said Kong has beat her, she has hurt her, but she’s always given the impression she’s an innocent good girl who plays by the rules, but she’s not. She’s willing to do anything for the Knockout Title and she’s going to show a different side of herself tonight.
-They showed Kong headed to the entrance set.
[Commercial Break]
[Q6]
-A clip aired of Sheik Abdul Bashir attacking Creed last week.
5 — CONSEQUENCES CREED vs. PETEY WILLIAMS (w/Rhaka Khan)
Creed outwrestled Petey early, then executed a couple armdrags. Nice mat wrestling exchanges early. Creed slid to the floor, but Petey sidestepped him and Creed ran into the security railing. Khan kicked Creed, then Petey took over inside the ring. Bashir stepped onto the stage to watch the match. Creed made a comeback and scored a two count at 3:00. Creed came off the top rope with a faceplant and then a spin round kick to the head followed by a press slam and a drop onto his knees. Nice sequence. He showed nice fire afterward. Bashir walked to ringside and distracted Creed. Creed tossed Petey to the floor and flip dove onto both Bashir and Petey at ringside. Creed stayed on offense in the ring and lifted Petey for his finisher. Bashir jumped Creed and pounded on his head as the ref called for the bell. Petey yelled at Bashir afterward. West said because of the DQ, Petey still has his title, but he’s pissed of.
WINNER: Creed via DQ in 7:00.
-Borash held a mic as Super Eric, Shark Boy, and Curry Man approached Rock ‘n’ Rave Infection. Eric said they’re being served a summon for embarrassing rock and roll. Curry man said he has a solution and offered to help Christy Hemme make beautiful music. Shark Boy said he’s going to start stomping fishing holes in each of them, starting with Lance Bass. That was kinda funny, actually. Rock and Rave attacked them with guitars and Christy shrieked in joy.
[Commercial Break]
[Q7]
6 — AWESOME KONG (w/Ryesha Saeed) vs. GAIL KIM – Street Fight
Kim went after Kong right away at ringside. Kong reverse whipped Kim into the ringpost, then threw her into the crowd. They showed “sister” Katie Kim at ringside looking worried. Kim leaped off the rafters onto Kong with a double sledge. The advantage didn’t last long as Kong beat her up in the stands. Kong choked Kim with a kendo stick. Kim made a comeback and fended off an attack by Saeed. Kong charged at Kim with a clothesline, but Kim ducked. The frenetic pace continued with Kong cornering Saeed with two kendo sticks, whacking her in the back and the stomach followed by a neckbreaker. Kong entered with a chair. Kim dropkicked he chair into Kong’s face. Kong kicked out at two. Kim wedged a chair in the corner. Kong tried to sit down on a sunset flip attempt, but Kim moved and then clotheslined Kong three times to stagger her. Kong then popped Kim in the face and knocked her into the chair in the corner and rolled up Kong for a convincing near fall. Kim then climbed to the top rope and went for a crossbody block. Kong caught her and then gave her the Implant Buster for the clean win.
WINNER: Kong in 7:00.
STAR RATING: **1/2 – Really good seven minute match. It’s good for TNA that they happened to book a win for Kong since they didn’t know at the point this match was taped that Kim was departing for a better deal with WWE.
-Afterward, Katie Kim pleaded with Kong and Saeed not to continue their double-team attack, but they fought on. Kate checked on Gail afterward. Kong and Saeed looked at Katie ominously. Tenay said, “Kong, don’t do it!” West said, “This is hard to watch.” Kong moved in toward her. She cried in fright. Kong then picked her up and set up an Awesome Bomb. Roxxi and ODB charged into the ring. Roxxi had a chair. They asked Kong to let Katie go.
-They showed Angle carried a ladder toward the entrance tunnel.
[Commercial Break]
[Q8]
7 — A.J. STYLES vs. KURT ANGLE — Ladder Match for the Medal
Styles went after Angle early, but Angle used an eye rake to stop his momentum. Styles came back quickly. Samoa Joe watched from ringside. Angle hit an overhead belly-to-belly. At 2:00 they had a tug-o-war with the ladder at ringside. Angle shoved Styles into the railing. Styles slingshot himself onto Angle at ringside. Booker T was watching at ringside, also, and as they cut to a break, Sharmell joined them. West said to stayed tuned because you don’t know what’s going to happen. As if Styles vs. Angle in a ladder match for the Gold Medal wasn’t enough, they had to add Joe, Booker, and now Sharmell to the mix in an attempt to keep everyone tuned in? Talk about not trusting the wrestlers to tell their story.
[Commercial Break]
Angle used a drop toe hold to send Styles into a ladder on the mat. Booker cheered on Angle. Angle suplexed Styles, then set up a ladder. West said that time to set up a ladder gave Styles time to recover. Styles did, but Angle quickly suplexed him and then applied a chinlock. Joe cheered on Styles, and told him how to defend against the hold. He told him to work his hands under his chin. Styles wouldn’t know that? I like the idea, but the advice seemed a big obvious. Styles soon made a comeback and threw Angle onto the ladder at 10:00. Angle bled from his forehead again. Styles climbed the ladder. Angle gave Styles an Olympic Slam off the ladder. With Styles down, Angle climbed the ladder. Once he touched the medal, Styles tipped the ladder over and Angle crashed to the mat. Sharmell yanked on Styles’s leg, but he kicked her off and springboard into the ring with a flying forearm. Joe went after Booker at ringside. Sharmell set the black bat on the ring apron for Booker to use as Joe turned to her. Booker hit Joe with the bat. Styles, meanwhile, climbed the ladder, but the ladder was wobbly and unstable. Angle met him at the top of the ladder. The Man Who Shall Not Be Named’s music played. The lights went out. “Is he here?” said West. “Could it be?” Styles bashed Angle with a guitar and then grabbed the medal to win the match.
WINNER: Styles in 12:00.
STAR RATING: **3/4 — Some good sequences and big spots. It’s the type of a match that deserves to be an occasional PPV match, not a TV main event that won’t draw any more of a rating than anything else they could have hyped adequately minus the ladder. The various plotlines in effect are so plentiful that it’s dizzying, though.
NOW CHECK OUT THE PREVIOUS FLASHBACK: 10 YRS AGO – KELLER’S TNA IMPACT TV REPORT (8-14-08): Styles vs. Angle, Joe & Nash vs. Team 3D, plus Rhino, Christian, Jimmy Rave, Black Machismo, Morgan
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