6/5 WWE SMACKDOWN RESULTS: Keller’s live report and analysis including Uso & Naomi vs. English & Lana, Charlotte vs. Becky, Styles-Nakamura contract signing

KELLER’S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT
JUNE 5, 2018
CORPUS CHRISTI, TEX.
AIRED LIVE ON USA NETWORK

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Announcers: Tom Phillips, Corey Graves, Byron Saxton

[HOUR ONE]

-The announcers previewed the show as they panned the crowd.

-Carmella made her way to the ring. Graves backed up Carmella’s “simple math,” leaning heavily on the transitive property. Carmella said tonight isn’t about her, it’s about her challenger Asuka. She said Asuka isn’t who they think she is. A video package aired on Asuka which highlighted her signature offense. Carmella said that’s pretty impressive, but that’s not the real Asuka. Then clips aired with dramatic ominous music and imagery of Asuka tapping out to Charlotte at WrestleMania. Then Asuka being on the losing team of her first Smackdown match. Then Asuka getting tossed around and beaten down afterward with Graves saying Asuka losing at WrestleMania damaged her psyche.

Carmella said that was hard to watch, but she was shattered by her WM loss. She said she has no fear because ‘Mella is money. She said the Age of Asuka is over. “It used to be No One Is Ready for Asuka,” she said, “but now everybody is ready for Asuka.” She said even the fans are ready for her. She pointed at a guy in the crowd whom she claimed was drooling because she’s so sexy in person. Asuka’s music then interrupted. Saxton said Asuka doesn’t look like she’s lost any confidence. Graves said it’s all a front.

As soon as Asuka entered the ring, Mandy Rose and Sonya Deville interrupted. Graves got excited. Mandy said Carmella didn’t need to go through all that trouble because she could have just asked her about how Asuka is a shell of her former self. She said Asuka beat her last week, but she was just a second away from beating her. “Now that I know the truth, I know that I can beat Asuka tonight.” Deville told Rose that she left just enough of Asuka for her. Deville said tonight it’s her turn. Carmella asked Asuka if she’ll take on both of them, but she’s not the same Asuka. She told Asuka to call herself an Uber and get out of there. G.M. Paige’s music played.

Paige stood on the stage and said no one speaks for her. She said she’s the one who makes the matches around there. She said Asuka has unfinished business with both of them. She gave Asuka her choice between Rose and Deville. Asuka yanked the mic away from Carmella and laughed, then said, “Give me both!” Paige said that’s the Asuka they love. She booked the match and its “next.” [c]

(1) ASUKA vs. SONYA DEVILLE & MANDY ROSE

Carmella joined the announcers on commentary. Graves gave Byron a hard time. Asuka battled Deville early. Rose tagged in and out with her for a while. Carmella distracted Asuka, then celebrated on the announce table as they cut to a break. [c]

Deville and Asuka kicked each other at the same time. Deville speared Asuka a minute later leading to a near fall. Asuka took a nice bump on the spear. Deville kneed Asuka in the head and in the gut and then the chin. Asuka countered with an attempt at the Asuka Lock, but Deville countered. They spun around each other and it ended with Asuka putting on the Asuka Lock for the tapout win. Graves touted that Asuka just beat two competitors at the same time.

WINNER: Asuka in 12:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: This defines where Deville and Rose are in the hierarchy, but it’s not a mistake to establish they’re clearly a level below Asuka. Asuka is headed to a title match and this give her a real sense of momentum. Deville was given enough back-and-forth with Asuka to look like she belonged in the ring with her.)

-Carmella entered the ring and held up her belt. When Rose came up behind Asuka, Asuka nailed her with a spinning back-fist. Carmella then attacked Asuka from behind. With Asuka down, Carmella stood above her with her title belt as her music played.

-Miz was warning up backstage doing karate moves which he called Miz-jitsu when a guy walked in with a tray of pancakes. In walked New Day wearing Pancake Power t-shirts. They taunted Miz about not telling him which of them will be in the MITB match. Big E said they’re taking it seriously. They said it’s difficult for them decide. Big E said: “We decided that we would let you help us reveal our member to the entire WWE Universe.” Miz said: “Rephrase.” Based on the lack of crowd reaction, no one in the crowd got the reference to New Day’s privates. Big E held a top hat with sheets of paper in it. Miz was about to draw a piece of paper. They made him wear a blindfold, then switched hats. Miz reached his hand in the new hat and it was filled with pancake batter. New Day lost it, laughing uproariously. Miz was fuming mad and he said what’s going to be funny is when he beats them with the Skull Crushing Finale. He wiped his hands on the guy holding a tray of pancakes.

(Keller’s Analysis: Miz is a good foil for New Day. This was aimed largely at kids, but it wasn’t so dumb that adults couldn’t smile along.)

-Graves plugged Miz & Joe & Rusev vs. New Day later. Phillips plugged the WWE Title match contract signing. [c]

(2) KARL ANDERSON (w/Luke Gallows) vs. LUKE HARPER (w/Erick Rowan)

Harper dominated until Anderson side-stepped him charging in the corner and then schoolboyed him for the surprise leverage pin. Anderson ran out of the ring like 1-2-3 Kid after he scored an upset over Razor Ramon. The announcers called it a miracle and wondered if they can do it again at MITB and capture the WWE Tag Team Titles.

WINNER: Anderson in 3:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: Booking 101 here. Singles wrestler from an underdog tag team scores upset win, building up the tag title match later. After the mess that was Raw last night, this basic stuff is refreshing.)

-They went to the announcers at ringside. They recapped the Dance-Off between Naomi and Lana. Graves said Lana decisively won. Byron said he thought they were going to see good sportsmanship afterward, but Lana gave Naomi a neckbreaker. That led to a fight with the Usos and Rusev & English, als0.

-Backstage Naomi was hanging with Jimmy. Naomi said she’s going to snatch Lana’s ball and then snatch her contract. Jimmy said they’re going to show which husband and wife really run Smackdown. Naomi did the, “Welcome to the Uso Penitentiary” with Jimmy. [c]

(3) JIMMY USO & NAOMI vs. AIDEN ENGLISH & LANA

After Uso and Naomi made their ring entrance, English did an opera-rap on the stage which left Jimmy and Naomi wondering what they were watching and listening to. Lana then danced out to the ring with English. Uso punched English in the throat early. English backed away and told Uso “that’s the money-maker!” Graves said Uso can’t do that because English is the “voice of a generation.” English and Lana tried to bait Uso and Naomi, but it didn’t work. Naomi and Uso knocked them out of the ring, then Naomi dove through the ropes onto them at ringside. They cut to a break. [c]

Lana broke up a pin attempt by Jimmy on English, then slapped him. Uso launched Naomi into Lana and they tumbled to the floor and continued to fight. English took control against Jimmy. He began yelling “Rusev Day!” like “U-so!” but then Naomi surprised him with a leap off the top rope. Uso then superkicked English in the throat for the win.

WINNER: Uso & Naomi in 11:00.

[HOUR TWO]

-They went backstage to Paige sitting at a table with Shinsuke Nakamura and A.J. Styles. Dean Malenko and Adam Pearce were overseeing the signing at the table, too. She described the rules for the match and she assured there would be a winner. She asked if there were any questions. Styles said he had a statement, if that’s okay. Paige said okay. Styles said Nakamura has driven him to the edge with his games and he thinks he understands now why he does what he does. He said he doesn’t believe Nakamura can’t beat him straight up, so he uses mind games and low blows and dirty tricks. He said it won’t work because he’s walking out of MITB the same way he walks in – as WWE Champion. Nakamura acted like he threw up in his mouth. Or was it a yawn? He watched Styles sign the contract, then Styles slid it to Nakamura. Nakamura said the pen is out of ink, then threw it over his shoulder. He asked Styles if he could borrow his pen. He twirled it a little and examined it closely. He said, “This pen is broken.” Styles blew up and stood and yelled if Nakamura was going to be this way. “Sign it. Be a man. I’m tired of these games.” Nakamura faked a move toward him, so Styles slapped him. Paige scolded Styles and then Malenko and Pearce dragged Styles away. Nakamura produced his own pen and smiled and signed the contract. He stood up and said, “Last Man Standing.”

(Keller’s Analysis: I liked that. Styles was straight forward in calling out Nakamura for his mind games being a way to make up for a lack of confidence he can win without them. Nakamura played mind games and pushed Styles’s buttons. They got a little physical, but just a small taste of it. Nakamura came off like a jerk and Styles like he just wanted to prove once and for all he’s better. Good basic stuff with the wrestlers’ established personalities telling the story, not overwritten dialogue or stunts.)

-The announcers hyped Styles-Nakamura and then Charlotte vs. Becky Lynch up next. [c]

(4) CHARLOTTE vs. BECKY LYNCH

Byron said Charlotte and Becky have to step outside their comfort zone and fight each other, which is similar to the “every woman for herself” setting of the MITB ladder match. They grabbed each other’s legs and agreed to put them down and square off. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” said Graves. Phillips said that was good sportsmanship. Graves said that isn’t getting either of them ready for the MITB ladder match where their opponents won’t just let them climb the ladder. They cut to a break. [c]

They stayed with the action during the break on a split screen. Charlotte controlled Becky most of the time with headscisosrs. Becky came back. Charlotte countered after the break with a backslide for a two count. Charlotte knocked Becky off balance on the second rope and then gave her a Razor’s Edge backbreaker to the mat for a two count. Becky blocked a figure-four attempt. Becky then landed a top rope legdrop for a near fall. After a spear by Charlotte, Becky rolled to the floor. Charlotte slingshot herself onto Becky on the floor with a body press. Graves said those are the types of chances Charlotte will have to take to win the MITB match. Charlotte climbed to the top rope and landed a moonsault right on Becky’s knees. Becky scored a two count a second later. Charlotte went for a quick figure-four, but Becky kicked out of it and then applied the Disarm Her for the tapout win. Graves said this could have mentally broken Charlotte.

Afterward Becky helped Charlotte stand. They hugged. Becky turned her back and celebrated and Charlotte left the ring without any incident.

WINNER: Lynch in 10:00.

(Keller’s Analysis: Good match. That’s a real taste of what could at a later date be an epic PPV match with double the time to tell more of a story.)

-Dasha Fuentes interviewed Samoa Joe backstage. He asked her what she sees when she looks at him. “Do you see a vicious man? Maybe a man with the conscience of a rabid dog? Maybe somebody with a moral compass that is so backwards and messed up he’ll stop at nothing to get what he wants?” He said tonight his opponents will learn all of that is true about him. He said when people look at him, he wants people to see a man who keep his promises. He said last week he climbed the ladder and grabbed the MITB briefcase. He said he felt a collective shiver go down the spine of every WWE Superstar. “They saw the future and it was the truth,” he said. He said any man who is unfortunate enough to call himself WWE Champion becomes a marked man because what you see is what you get.

(Keller’s Analysis: That is what pro wrestling promos used to be for decades before the Monday Night War and the in-ring solo promo format. And that’s Joe being a throwback to the days when that is one of the main reasons people watched wrestling – watching an alpha male who came across as a badass and a star exuding self-confidence explaining what he planned to do and who will suffer as a result. Great basic stuff.)

-The announcers hyped the six-man tag match. [c]

-Phillips plugged a Women’s MITB Summit next week on Smackdown in Memphis. Tenn.

-Renee stood on the stage and welcomed Big Cass. She asked how he will be sure the outcome at MITB against Daniel Bryan is different than at Backlash. He said he’s tall, unlike Bryan “who’s, what, an inch taller than you, Renee?” He said speaking of little, he has a little story. He said he happened to be walking behind Bryan who had just won the main event of WrestleMania. “As I walked behind him, all I could think to myself was, ‘Seriously? Seriously? This guy, this pathetic little man is the WWE Champion?'” He said Bryan’s win then and his win over him at Backlash were absolutely flukes. He said Bryan packs a hell of a punch for someone with such a petite stature, but a good big man will always beat a big little man. He threw to a clip of Joe putting Bryan to sleep last week, then Cass attacking Bryan afterward.

Cass took the mic and shoed Renee away. He said he almost feels bad for that poor little guy. He said Bryan brought it upon himself because he asked to get back into WWE rings. “Little did he know he’d have a seven-foot shadow following him every place he went.” He said Bryan has never been in the ring with someone as big and as educated as him “or a star of my magnitude.” He guaranteed 100 percent that Bryan has never, ever been in the ring with someone who holds a grudge like he does. He said that’s why at MITB he’ll do everything he can to dismantle him and beat him down and embarrass him. He said he’ll rip his scrawny arms off of his body and whack him with them over his head like a snare drum, then take his skinny puny legs and snap them so he can never put the heel hook on him again. He said Bryan should go do what he does best, which is playing a little garden gnome on Total Bellas. He said Bryan will have to look himself in the mirror after MITB and come to the slow realization that a pathetic little man like him will never survive “in this big man’s world.”

(Keller’s Analysis: Liked the setting of him standing on the stage instead of in the ring. The promo lasted 30 percent too long, though, and got repetitive. But overall, Cass was arrogant and what he said and how he said it made you want to see him get shown up by Bryan at MITB.)

-Backstage Fuentes interviewed Sin Cara and asked him if he was wrong to assume he was friends with Andrade Cien Almas. Sin Cara said he and Andrade were close, but then something happened. Zelina Vega stormed in and asked if she is that “something.” She said she is the best thing to happen to him and when Sin Cara was Andrade’s role model, he made him weak. She said she taught him he doesn’t have to respect anybody, especially him. She revealed that Andrade requested a match against Sin Cara next week. Andrade attacked him from behind.

-New Day made their ring entrance. [c]

(5) NEW DAY vs. THE MIZ & RUSEV & SAMOA JOE

They cut to an early commercial break. [c]

Back live New Day made a comeback against Miz. Miz tagged in Rusev. Big E gave him an overhead belly-t0-belly. Rusev caught a charging Big E with a knee. Joe tagged himself in and then gave Big E a one-armed slam for a two count, broken up by Woods. Big E threw Joe out of the ring, but Miz came up behind him and went for the Skull Crushing Finale. Kofi springboarded into the air and looked like he was headed toward Big E and Miz, but instead flew backward onto Rusev. The announcers marveled at the optical illusion. Then Big E dove onto Miz on the other side of the ring. Joe put Xavier in the Coquina Clutch at ringside. Rusev gave a diving Kofi his Machka Kick. Big E then charged at Miz, but Miz side-stepped him and sent him shoulder-first into the post. Miz called for Joe and Rusev to enter the ring. Miz grabbed a tray of pancakes and fended off Kofi and then threw the pancakes, but they hit Rusev and Joe. Rusev kicked Miz and Joe landed a senton. Kofi and Big E then finished Miz with their Midnight Hour.

WINNERS: New Day in 14:00.