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MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
April 6, 2017
Taped in Orlando, Fla. (Universal Studios)
Aired on Pop TV
Hey everyone, I’m filling in for Mike McMahon this week. He’ll be back next week with real-time coverage of Impact. Mike and I will also be recording a special Impact recap audio PWTorch Livecast within the next couple days for the site. I didn’t review the show live, so I’m grabbing the match length times from Jason Powell at Prowrestling.net. Check out his coverage for a more extensive review HERE.
Announcers: Josh Matthews, Jeremy Borash, The Pope.
— Impact opened right away with Eli Drake and Caleb Konley already in the ring. No music, they just went straight to the action. Kind of a novel way to start the show actually.
(1) Eli Drake vs. Caleb Konley
Drake dominated the bulk of the match and won clean with his finisher.
WINNER: Eli Drake in 4:15.
(Andrew’s Analysis: A cool way to start the show. Konley probably isn’t one of the guys I would have chosen to open the night like this, as he’s been used so sparingly that most fans probably have no idea who he is. Still, I wouldn’t mind seeing this approach being used more often to mix things up.)
— They went to ringside and, believe it or not, Josh Mathews and Jeremy Borash immediately started arguing! Borash had a live mic, and things got so heated that Bruce Prichard had to come in and scold them like children. Prichard brought them in the ring and said it was time to settle things. He declared that the two grown men acting like obnoxious kids have to do battle by each choosing four wrestlers on the roster who would face-off next week.
(Andrew’s Analysis: I have no idea why Borash and Mathews forming a team of wrestlers proves that one of them is superior to the other at announcing. Also, what purpose did this serve? Had Bruce Prichard said whoever loses is gone from the announce booth, that would have at least meant something. But he didn’t, so it only furthered displayed how insanely annoying their feud continues to be. Please let it end!)
— Davey Richards and Angelina Love entered the arena and kissed. How nice!
(2) Knockouts Gauntlet Battle Royal For No. 1 Contender
Borash and Mathews continued to argue. Borash explained the rules of a Battle Royal for those who don’t know, but he did so in a condescending tone. Mathews rightfully called him out for it. Somebody new out there had to have been watching! The match featured Ava Storie, Madison Rayne, Rebel, Amanda Rodriguez, MJ Jenkins, Diamante, ODB and Rayne.
The match came down to ODB and Ryane, and ODB hit her finisher for the pinfall.
WINNER: ODB in 9:45.
(Andrew’s Analysis: Pretty brutal. I’m glad to see Impact hired a few more women, but at least a couple of them looked like they could use some more training. Storie and Amanda Rodriguez in particular really need to learn how to throw a convincing worked punch.)
— James Storm came out to his “Longnecks and Rednecks” theme without a trace of DCC gear on. He talked about becoming a cowboy again because of his daughter. The DCC was not happy with this news and confronted him.
Kingston took the mic and tore Storm down a bit. They later tried to jump him, but Storm got the best of the situation and left them both lying on the mat.
(Andrew’s Analysis: Pretty entertaining. Kingston was really good on the mic, and Storm worked up the crowd like days of old. I enjoyed his lines about wanting to become champion again, as that’s something every wrestler should be focused on. DCC was a completely wasted stable that seemed to suffer when Billy Corgan left the company, so they may as well have ended it.)
— McKenzie Mitchell interviewed Andrew Everett. Shane Helms and Trevor Lee interrupted to say Everett may get a title shot if he wins his upcoming match.
(3) Andrew Everett vs. Marshe Rockett vs. Suicide
The announcers continued to argue to the surprise of no one. Pretty typical X Division stuff with a few flips and dives, but not a lot of time devoted to it to feel special. Everett hit a Shooting Star Press on Rocket for the win.
WINNER: Andrew Everett in 6:25.
(Andrew’s Analysis: This was fine. But these random 3-4-5-6 man X Division matches all kind of blend together. I still have no idea why Suicide was brought back, as he hasn’t won a single match so far. Hopefully Caleb Konley is at least getting paid double.)
(4) Davey Richards (w/Angelina Love) vs. Eddie Edwards in a Last Man Standing Match
The two put on a long, hard hitting match featuring a lot of intensity and some painful looking chair spots. The end saw Richards kicking Edwards in the face with a chain wrapped around his boot. Check out Powell’s report in the link above for a much more in-depth report on the match.
WINNER: Richards in 23:15.
(Andrew’s Analysis: Really good stuff. It’s a shame Impact doesn’t run pay-per-views more often, as this should have been given a bigger spotlight. This contest and Alberto El Patron vs. EC III a few weeks back have been the two best Impact matches of the year so far.)
— A vignette for “Veterans of War” aired. No idea who this is for, but another solid job by the Impact team at keeping fans guessing who is about to debut.
— LAX showed up in a nightclub in Orlando. They played up their recent title victory to the crowd. Really good stuff here, as it just feels refreshing to go out of the Impact Zone now and then and show that their wrestlers can appear to be actual stars.
(5). Alberto El Patron vs. John Polk (?)
Powell didn’t catch his name, and neither did I, because the poor guy didn’t get any sort of announcement! A complete squash here.
WINNER: El Patron.
(Andrew’s Analysis: A good squash match, but the fact they didn’t mention Patron would be on the show until the previous segment is crazy. That guy had to have cost a lot of money to bring in, and he’s a well-known name, so why not actually hype his appearance?)
— Backstage, Allie began cutting a promo but was quickly interrupted by KM and Sienna. Things were getting physical when Karen Jarrett ran in and announced they’d have a mixed tag next week. Dammit! We had 15 minutes left in the show and Karen just had to show up. So close. Also, let Allie talk! She’s one of the most over characters in the promotion, but has been largely silent in this new era.
— A vignette for Fury Unleashed aired. He’ll be on TV next week. They briefly showed him from behind for a moment. Some fans may have caught on to who it is.
— Bruce Prichard was in the ring as Mathews and Borash drafted their teams. Mathews went with Bobby Lashley first. Borash chose El Patron. Mathews followed up with Bram. Borash delivered a surprise with Chris Adonis (the former Chris Masters). Mathews countered with Eli Drake. Tyrus followed Drake to the ring, and revealed himself to be a member of the team too. The heels then attacked the faces four-on-three. Matt Morgan ran out and started beating up the heels to even the odds.
They cut to backstage where someone got out of a limo. We only saw their legs from behind. They ran out of time, though, and we didn’t get to see who it was. Tune in next week!
(Andrew’s Analysis: Really strong way to end the show. I love having another mystery hook for next week, and Morgan looked great in his return. Hopefully he sticks around, as he’d be a great name to liven up the heavyweight division for a bit. Overall, the first hour was dreadful with the announcing team once again reaching TV-breaking levels. However, hour two was pretty entertaining and ended the night on a hot note.)
NOW CHECK OUT LAST WEEK’S REPORT: MCMAHON’S IMPACT REPORT 3/30: Tag Team Title Four-Way Match, Cody vs. Moose for the Grand Championship
I watched the show from start to finish. I remember them hyping Patron’s match throughout the show.
I thought this show was more entertaining than anything I saw from WWE this week. I think Josh Matthews is a riot and the digs at the WWE might go over the heads of some of the vanilla marks, but I find them pretty funny.