MCMAHON’S LIVE IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT — Total Nonstop Deletion, Tag Team Apocalypto, King Maxel’s Debut

MCMAHON’S IMPACT WRESTLING REPORT
DECEMBER 15, 2016
CAMERON, N.C. – THE DOME OF DELETION
AIRED ON POPTV

ANNOUNCERS: Josh Mathews, Jeremy Borash.

[HOUR ONE]

— Impact opens with Matt Hardy sitting in his boat on the Lake of Reincarnation. Jeff Hardy and Senor Benjamin are shown preparing as Reby is playing piano in a field. Senor Benjamin assembles a ring in the backyard as Jeff carves designs into the lawn. King Maxel is then shown walking around an assembled Impact ring on the Hardy property.

— A WCAM television news spot runs, as an anchor is talking about tonight. He throws to someone on the scene. She shows Cameron residents looking at an active volcano, which she said appeared out of nowhere. Itchweeed is interviewed by the woman and he runs up the side of the volcano while screaming.

— Josh Mathews welcomes us to the show as Vanguard 1 flies above the property.

— In-arena: Matt Hardy and Brother Nero enter the ring. Mathews said the ring is set up inside the Dome of Deletion. Hardy has the mic and welcomes us to Total Nontstop Deletion.

“Total Nonstop Deletion,” Hardy said, “I knew you’d come!”

There is a crowd assembled. Hardy said he has invited 50 of his most loyal soldiers to tonight. Hardy said the entire city of Cameron has been shut down because of tonight. Hardy said that tonight, he will give us a show of a lifetime.

Rockstar Spud makes his entrance to ring music. Jeremy Borash said that the crowd is there at their own risk. The entrance stage is a giant Matt Hardy face, as wrestlers enter through his open mouth.

Spud said that no one is getting deleted tonight, especially not him. Spud said he’s sick of everyone, including Hardy’s son, who is stealing his television time.

“I want your stupid kid gone,” Spud said.

The crowd chanted “Maxel! Maxel!”

Hardy said he would sanction the match, and tonight it would be King Maxel against Spud. Hardy then asked for a licensed official for the match.

Hardy told the official that the match would be a no-disqualification match. Hardy ordered everyone to stand a praise King Maxel.

Maxel rides to the ring in a toy car with Reby walking behind him. He has Hardy’s music.

(1) KING MAXEL (w/Reby) vs. ROCKSTAR SPUD

The bell rings and Maxel does a delete sign. Senor Benjamin runs into the ring and tazes Spud. Maxel overs Spud for the win.

WINNER: King Maxel in less than 1:00

– Backstage, Disco Infero said he was glad it wasn’t him this time, and asked if anyone wanted to play poker?

(McMahon’s Analysis: Fantastic start. The “arena” on the property actually looks cool. I was a little worried they would be taping matches in the outdoor ring. They are also using different graphics, with purple the main color with the name Total Nonstop Deletion.)

— Lashley is shown arriving earlier today. Eddie Edwards is then shown walking through the woods with the TNA World Title.

— Back from the break, it’s another news segment. The anchor said residents were told to stay inside their homes. Back to the reporter on the scene, she’s at a road closure showing that Cameron is closed. Shane Helms pulls up to the anchor. She tells him that the road is closed, but Helms said he has the best tag team in the world with him. The reporter said there is a natural disaster down there, but Helms drives through the road closure. The reporter also notes that a volcano has been formed and there has been seismic activity.

— The Rock ’n’ Roll Express are shown arriving at Hardy’s house. They knock and Hardy answers the door. The Express said they were there for Apocalypto. Hardy offers them some green beans.

– Back to a news segment, where the anchor said this is huge with the Rock ’n’ Roll Express showing up.

– In-arena: Sienna is in the ring. She said she has been looking all over the back for Rosemary, and apparently she’s not here. Borash said Rosemary has been banned from the Hardy compound. Sienna said she was making herself No. 1 contender for the Knockouts Title. Sienna issued a challenge to anyone in the world to challenge her for that No. 1 contender status.

Vanguard 1 enters the arena, and said he accepts the challenge.

The referee shrugs his shoulders and said that because Vanguard 1 is a drone, and not a woman, he was throwing out the match.

Sienna said she apparently needed to be more specific, and said she challenged any person.

Outside, ODB is shown arriving in a truck and she heads to the ring.

(2) SIENNA vs. ODB

ODB chops Sienna in the ring and throws forearms in the corner. Sienna clotheslines ODB from behind. Sienna drops ODB with a fireman’s carry and covers for a two count. ODB charges Sienna in the corner and begins throwing more forearms. Sienna misses a clothesline and ODB hits a splash.

ODB goes to the second rope and hits a dive on Sienna for a two count. With the referee down, Sienna throws a chair in the ring. She swings and misses on ODB and ODB then uses the chair herself. ODB covers and the crowd counts to 12. Vanguard 1 flies in and makes a two count before the referee pulls it out and said he was the referee.

Sienna hits a Silencer for the win.

WINNER: Sienna in 5:00.

– After the match, Sienna slides the chair out of the ring. ODB gets up and rubs Vanguard 1 in her chest region before celebrating with some fans at ringside.

(McMahon’s Analysis: Good use of ODB in her surprise return, getting Sienna a really good win against a former champion as she cements herself as the No. 1 contender for the Knockouts Title. The stuff with Vanguard 1 was funny. This episode is about all the best stuff from the Broken Matt Hardy universe, so it makes sense to get everyone in there. Maxel, Senor Benjamin, Vanguard 1, etc.)

— Backstage: The Helms Dynasty arrives. They tell Hardy that they are not there for Matt’s shenanigans. They tell him they want this to end where it began, in the ring. Hardy told his scribe to ring that someone will enter the Lake of Reincarnation tonight, and it will be the most appalling reincarnation they have seen. Hardy said he can’t wait to render them obsolete.

— Outside, Itchweeed is riding a lawnmower and arrives to the Dome of Deletion with a weed whacker.

(3) ITCHWEED vs. CHET STERLING — match is using House Hardy rules

Borash said that if the Hardys do not win the Tag Team Apocalypto match tonight, the land they are currently standing on, will no longer exist.

No one knows what House Hardy rules are, but Borash speculates they’re very relaxed rules.

Itchweeed grabs a sleeper on Sterling and he falls asleep, as well as Sterling. The referee begins a 10 count as the crowd chants, “wake up!”

Both men get up at seven. Itchweeed and Sterling trade punches before Itchweeed lands a dropkick on Sterling through the ropes. Itchweeed then sets up a table on the outside. He sets up Sterling on the table and dives off the turnbuckle to the outside with an elbow, driving Sterling through the table.

Itchweed rolls Sterling back into the ring and hits a Pesticide Elbow for the win.

WINNER: Itchweeed in 4:00.

– After the match, Itchweeed grabs the weed whacker and it’s insinuated that he attacks Sterling with it, but all we see is Itchweeed holding the weed whacker. Afterwards, we see Sterling with his ring great all carved up, but no flesh wounds. Borash said he’s lucky that only his gear got carved up.

(McMahon’s Analysis: It feels really strange to suggest that this is where things are only starting to get weird. Of all the Hardy characters that have come through TNA in the last several months, Itchweeed is the one I find the least entertaining. Maybe it’s because I never really watched the old Hardy Show on Youtube. That being said, some of the production they used here was different, including how they showed the replay. It was at a closer angle and much slower. It looked good.)

– Back from the break, we see a flashback to the Hardy Zoo segment, where Jeff Hardy wrestles a kangaroo.

– Mathews said that tonight’s aerial coverage is brought to us by Vanguard 1.

(4) EDDIE EDWARDS [c] vs. LASHLEY – TNA World Hvt. Title match

Lashley starts the match charging at Edwards. Lashley throws Edwards to the outside after an elbow. Borash said that all 50 people in attendance had to sign releases to waive liability before they entered the building tonight.

[HOUR TWO]

Lashley shoves a fan who tried to grab him. Borash said he knows that everyone here has signed a release. Edwards gets up and chops Lashley. The fans at ringside then grab Edwards and hold him to the gate as Edwards his another chop and then a running knee as the show goes to a break.

Back from the break, Edwards hits an elbow on Lashley. Later, Lashley hits a neckbreaker for a two count. Edwards charges Lashley and Lashley hits an elbow for a two count. Lashley then chokes Edwards in the corner and hits a throat punch before connecting with some boots in the corner.

Mathews again said if the Hardys do not prove tonight that they are the best tag team in all of space and time, the land of deletion will be no more. Borash said they were there to document the events.

Edwards gets caught and then gets tossed into the corner. They show a replay with a camera that was set up on the turnbuckle itself.

Lashley tries for a superplex on Edwards but he blocks it and throws Lashley off the second rope. Edwards then goes to the top for a missile dropkick. Lashley gets flipped to the outside and Edwards then takes out Lashley with a dive through the ropes.

Edwards goes to the top and misses a stomp. Lashley, wasting no time, hits a powerslam for a two count. Edwards steps out of a spear and kicks Lashley to the outside. Edwards jumps to the apron and hits a kick. Edwards tries for a hurricanrana off the apron, but Lashley catches him and powerbombs him into the crowd. Bodies fly to the ground as Lashley goes back to scoop up Edwards. Borash reminds us that the people there signed away their releases and were there are their own risk.

Back near the entrance, Lashley spears Edwards through the wall and to the outside. Mathews then screams that they need to go to break. “What do you mean!?! The World Title is on the line!”

Back from the break, Senor Benjamin reads a “please do not try this at home” message. Mathews then shows relays of Lashley spearing Edwards through the wall. Mathews then said that Edwards and Lashley were fighting in the woods and the camera crew was going to try to find them.

– Tag Team Apocalypto is up next, despite the World Title match not having a conclusion. Mathews and Borash go through the rules. Falls count anywhere and the match will end with one team left standing. Teams are eliminated by pinfall or submission.

– Matt and Jeff Hardy enter the ring first. Matt said that all tag teams throughout time and space were invited, and he told everyone assembled to get to the ring.

Out first were the Helms Dynasty, followed by The Rock ’n’ Roll Express and Decay. Suddenly, smoke fills the building as sirens go off as a recording announces that Apocalypto has begun, so everyone must evacuate the property.

(5) TAG TEAM APOCALYPTO – match featuring multiple teams for the TNA Tag Team Titles

Edwards and Lashley are shown brawling in the woods while the Express and Hardys shoot fireworks at Decay and the Helms Dynasty. Helms yells for Everett and Lee to run to the truck so they can get out of here. Helms drives off as Lee jumps in the back of the pickup, but Matt is in there with him. Matt is fighting off Lee and Everett on the back of Helms’ pickup truck as Helms drives away. Jeff grabs a referee and puts him on the back of a dirt bike so they can chase the truck.

A bunch of tag teams are shown at the gate of the Hardy Compound. Hardy, Lee and Everett are brawling on the side of a highway as Decay welcomes in the other tag teams. One team enters the gate and Crazzy Steve appears to snap someone’s neck, eliminating that team with a three count.

Rockstar Spud is shown looking at his watch. The Bravado Brothers show up and ask if this is the line for Apocalypto. Spud said he was waiting for his partner to arrive.

The Helms Dynasty are now brawling with the Hardys outside of an antique store. The Ugly Ducklings team comes through the gate next. Abyss hits them with a double clothesline for an elimination.

A train goes by as the Hardys and Helms Dynasty are brawling near the tracks. Back at the compound, Abyss and Steve brawl with a team named Showtime. The Bravado Brothers enter the property while Decay is brawling with another team.

Abyss then picks up a rock and appears to smash it on someone’s head for another elimination. That is the second murder, perhaps seen in the match after someone had their neck snapped.

Spud said his partner has arrived as Abyss and Steve look on and the show goes to a break.

Back from the break, Hornswoggle is revealed as Spud’s partner. He’s referred to as “big man.” Meanwhile, Hardy is about to be pinned but he calls on the dilapidated boat to break it up. The Helms Dynasty then attacks the boat.

Hardy comes up from behind Helms and shoves hi into the Lake of Reincarnation. Upon turning around, Helms is dancing with Lee and Everett, doing their best 3 Count impression. Helms said Lee and Everett weren’t as good as Evan and Shannon, so they double-superkick Helms.

The Bravado Brothers then attack Helms and Everett.

The Rock ’n’ Roll Express are in the ring that is set up outside near the volcano and they ask the Hardys if they’re going to do this? The HArdys enter the ring and the brawl is on.

Somewhere in the woods, Edwards and Lashley are still brawling. The Bravado Brothers and Helms Dynasty are shown brawling. Lee gets a slingshot into a shed and Everett gets whipped through an open door. Lee runs inside and as the Bravado Brothers try to follow the Helms Dynasty, the door is locked. Finally, they open it and walk back inside the Dome of Deletion. It is still filled with smoke and they begin brawling again.

As Gibson and Matt brawl in the ring, Morton and Jeff elevate above the ring in lift trucks in an homage to Starrcade ’86, Night of the Skywalkers. They’re about face-to-face as the show goes to a break.

Back from the break, Jeff and Morton are brawling above the ring as the volcano spews fire in the distance. Gibson locks a figure four on Matt. Matt rolls out of the figure four and out of the ring and he takes control of Morton’s lift, extending it higher above the ring.

The Bravado Brothers and Helms Dynasty are shown fighting in the ring in the Dome of Deletion. Back outside, Jeff misses a Swanton Bomb off the lift on Gibson, who rolls out of the way. Matt jumps in and hits a Twist of Fate on Gibson to eliminate the Rock ’n’ Roll Express. Morton screams at Matt to let him down as Matt calls for the lights to go out, and Morton is stuck on the lift in darkness.

Inside, the Bravado Brothers and Helms Dynasty are both down in the ring (all four men). Spud and Hornswoggle enter the ring with chairs. Hornswoggle smacks both Bravado Brothers with chairs and Spud covers one of them for an elimination. Spud then celebrates, despite no crowd being present. Hornswoggle powerbombs Spud and hits him with a tadpole splash. Everett capitalizes and runs over to eliminate Spud with a pin.

Outside, Edwards and Lashley are still brawling somewhere in the woods. Lashley chokes Edwards with his headband. Morton is then shown still stuck on the lift, as he screams for someone to get him down. Road Warrior Animal is there and asks Morton what Hardy has done now?

The DCC walks up to the Hardy gate and Decay is there to greet them. James Storm, it appears, is there. Abyss said he came alone, but all of a sudden about 15 people in DCC masks come into the picture. Some guy in a DCC mask runs in and Abyss drops him, pinning him. The referee counts and Storm says that the guy wasn’t on his team, and he has no idea who he was as the show goes to another break.

Back from the break, everyone is brawling on the volcano, including Lashley and Edwards and it explodes. The Hurricane makes a brief appearance, flying in and then flying off.

– The news segment breaks in. The anchor said that tonight might be their last broadcast. He said Cameron will collapse if the Hardys do not win, so their fate is in the Hardy’s hands.

Back outside, Decay is directing traffic. Abyss and Steve take Jeff while the Helms Dynasty takes on Matt. The Helms Dynasty has Matt near a bunch of Jeff symbols while Abyss grabs Janice and is about to hit Jeff in the outdoor ring. Jeff grabs fireworks but Steve hits him with a low blow.

Vanguard 1 suddenly flies into the picture, and he, or it, is shooting fireworks at Abyss, who picks up a tube and is shooting fireworks back at Vanguard 1.

Vanguard 1 hits Abyss in the eye, blinding him. Elsewhere on the property, The Helms Dynasty is about to hit Matt with shovels and literally bury him. Hurricane stops them and takes them out. Matt then covers for the elimination. Helms said that the Helms Dynasty is … broken. Matt and Hurricane then literally bury Lee and Everett, and Matt said that the “man with three H’s would be impressed in how they buried this young, promising talent.”

Near the house, Hornswoggle bounces off Lashley after trying a spear. Edwards then jumps off a porch onto Lashley.

A giant Hardy symbol, in flames, is on the lawn and Decay and Jeff are brawling in the fire. Matt bites Steve’s hand.

Matt, Jeff and Decay are all brawling inside the fire of the symbol. Abyss rolls Matt into the outdoor ring. Abyss then grabs Janice. Jeff and Steve are fighting near the volcano. Matt kicks Abyss and picks up Janice. Matt said this would sting a little, and buried Janice’s spikes into Abyss’ gut. Steve has Jeff down on the volcano. Jeff then hits a twist of fate out of nowhere, dropping Steve into the volcano. The volcano explodes and Steve flies through the air and lands in the ring, where Matt pins him for the elimination and the win. Fireworks go off as the Hardys celebrate. Matt said they will rebuild the land of deletion. Reby reveals that she is pregnant as fireworks continue to shoot off and the Hardys celebrate as the aerial shot pans away.

WINNERS: The Hardys retain the TNA Tag Titles in 45:00. … Eddie Edwards and Lashley end in an apparent no-contest at the 73:00 mark.

(McMahon’s Analysis: I’m literally speechless. If you were looking for a traditional wrestling program, you hated this show. If you are a fan of the Broken Brilliance, and everything that has come along with it over these last few months, this was your WrestleMania. You got it all. In that sense, this show delivered huge. There’s no doubt, though, that this will be a love it or hate it show. You either are a huge fan of what the Hardys have been doing, and you loved it, or you have hated the whole storyline and then you hated this show. In a era where it’s difficult to be different, and everyone is always clamoring for something new, kudos to TNA and the Hardys for at least trying something.)