Raw 10 yrs. ago – Cena vs. Angle booked as panic move over 3.7

The main event of WWE Raw 10 years ago today featured John Cena vs. Kurt Angle as part of a WWE Title feud. Most interesting was WWE booked the match as a panic move over a 3.7 rating the week before. Imagine that 10 years later when they’re at a 2.2 rating.

RAW TV REPORT
OCTOBER 24, 2005
FRESNO, CALIF.

Report by Wade Keller, PWTorch editor

-The show opened with footage of last week’s Raw focused on the hype for the Taboo Tuesday WWE Title three-way match.

-Coach then introduced the show as Shawn Michaels’s entrance took place.

1 — SHAWN MICHAELS vs. BIG SHOW vs. KANE

Lawler made a big deal out of this being a match fans never thought they’d see because all three are babyfaces. Lawler said the wrestlers feel that if they win, they’ve earn more fan votes to be the third member of the WWE Title match at Taboo Tuesday. Michaels and Show ganged up on Kane at first, but then turned on each other seconds later. Show suffered a cut above his left eye. Kane beat up Michaels, but Show tripped Kane from ringside and yanked him to ringside. Back in the ring, Show threw Michaels onto Kane as they went to a break.

[Commercial Break]

After the break, Michaels made a comeback against Show, but then Kane tossed Michaels over the top rope to the floor. Kane then mounted Show in the corner and punched away at his head. Coach and Lawler plugged that voting for Taboo Tuesday would begin in 48 minutes. Kane went for a back suplex, but wasn’t able to execute it. Show seemed to be dead weight in his hands, sandbagging it. The crowd booed a little. Everyone’s a critic. Kane went to the top rope, but Show met him up there and executed a superplex. Michaels struggled to get back into the ring. He hit a top rope elbow on Show. Coach said, “That’s it! If Michaels can get the cover, this one is over.: We knew it wasn’t over. Michaels stomped the mat and hit Sweet Chin Music. Kane, though, surprised Michaels with a clothesline. Kane made the cover after a few seconds, but Show powered out. Kane screamed in anger and frustration. He grabbed a chair from ringside and threw it into the ring. He threw several more chairs. He KO’d Show with a chair, smiled, and reentered the ring. He flew off the top rope. Michaels went for a superkick, but it appeared to miss. Michaels then superkicked Show and scored the pin.

WINNER: Michaels at 8:01.

STAR RATING: **

-Coach plugged Kurt Angle vs. John Cena with Mick Foley as special referee. Is WWE panicking over the 3.7 rating last week or what? There is an air of desperation in the voices of the announcers that hasn’t been heard since they were getting crushed by Nitro for the first time.

-Footage aired of John Cena racing in a stock car. He said it’s an exciting sensation and out of control. He was very humble in saying the speed was too much for him. Cena acting scared of fast cars isn’t going to endear him to the deep voiced fans whose boos compete with the high-pitched squeals of the rest of the fans.

[Commercial Break]

-Jerry Lawler asked the crowd over a live mic how many fans think Coach is doing a good job as lead announcer. They booed. He asked how many enjoyed seeing him get humiliated by Steve Austin last week. They cheered. Lawler said they ought to take another look at it. After the replay, Coach said he isn’t scared of Steve Austin and said he was going to call him out to the ring. He walked to the ring.

[Commercial Break]

-Coach called Steve Austin to the ring. Austin’s pick-up tore through the back of the arena. Out through the moon roof popped “Mrs. Ratings” Stephanie McMahon with beers in her hand a big smile across her face. Coach laughed and said, “You almost had me!” Stephanie said Steve Austin would not be on the show tonight. Coach told Austin that if he’s watching, if he dares show up next Monday night in Anaheim, Calif., he’s calling him out. Steph said that is exactly the kind of attitude that has him sitting next to Lawler as the new voice of Raw. She reiterated the rules of Taboo Tuesday. She said Vince McMahon would be present later tonight with a surprise for everyone. She said her dad has put on 20 pounds of weight in two weeks.

Then Mick Foley’s music played and he rolled into the ring. Steph said he was a little early to referee the main event. He said he couldn’t sit in the back any longer and listen to someone who is so obviously full of crap. Steph said, “Actually J.R. was full of crap, but that was all taken care of.” Foley said, “I don’t find colon surgery all that humorous.” He called McMahon a “stark raving mad egomaniacal” and then let the crowd finish by chanting “asshole.” He said it makes him sick to see her lower herself to her father’s level. She said she was going to cry. Then she asked when people like him would realize that without her and her father, there would be no business that they love. The McMahons really believe that, too, as if there wasn’t a thriving pro wrestling business before 1985 or that Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair wouldn’t have been major draws from 1985 to 2000 without the magic touch of Vince McMahon. Steph said she is a sweet, caring, defenseless woman, then said she wanted to see how he handled his opponent at Taboo Tuesday. Carlito then came to the ring and attacked Foley just as Steph kicked Foley between the legs from behind. He then took a bite out of an apple and spit it on Foley’s face. The crowd booed.

-They plugged Triple H vs. Viscera was up next.

[Commercial Break]

-Eric Bischoff told Foley backstage that he still had to referee the main event later. Then he laughed as Foley coughed.

-Triple H vs. Viscera was scheduled, but Ric Flair attacked Hunter from behind as he walked down the ramp. Hunter, though, quickly came back and stomped away at Flair. Flair showed fighting spirit as they exchanged punches. Officials separated them. Hunter was escorted to the back. Flair entered the ring and said over the house mic that he wanted fans to vote for him vs. Triple H to take place in a cage. Viscera flew to Fresno for that?

They went outside the arena with a live camera as a white limo pulled up with JBL’s horns on the hood. “Is that who I think it is?” asked Lawler. They showed the JBL logo on the side and out walked JBL. Coach said, “Smackdown is here. JBL from Smackdown is here, but why?”

[Commercial Break]

-They showed Bischoff and JBL arguing during the commercial break. With the article in the cable trade publications this week about WWE’s pushing viewers to go to WWE.com rather than watch the USA Network commercials, there has been less stress on that so far this week.

-Inside the ring, Edge, Lita, and Chris Masters stood. Edge addressed JBL on the big screen. Edge said nobody cares about him. Not him or the Smackdown locker room. Edge said it’s now officials, at Taboo Tuesday it’s Raw vs. Smackdown with himself and Masters against fan-picked team from Smackdown. Masters said he was going to introduce fans to the available options. The first to pop up was Matt Hardy “I didn’t know they could invent another match for me to beat him in,” laughed Edge. Lita added, “You beat his ass and you put him (on Smackdown.” Edge said, “What if all the people from Matt’s website vote for Matt? Well, then he’ll still finish fourth.”

Then Rey’s face appeared on camera. Masters said the good news is that since Taboo Tuesday is in San Diego, it’ll be a short ride home from the hospital. Lita said, “It’s great to be the inspiration for Smackdown’s new midget division. It’s so adorable, so cute.” Then Christian popped up on the screen. “I carried you for the first six years of your career, so what’s one more?” said Edge. “I wish you a congratulations, Christian. I want to congratulate you for being the only WWE superstar who is going to get less votes than Matt Hardy.” Masters said, “A guy with bleached blond hair, wears spandex, and calls himself hardcore, I think he’d rather meet me in the shower. Sorry, the Masterpiece doesn’t swing that way. Next.” Then JBL’s face appeared on the screen. Masters called him Mr. Suckdown.” JBL reacted intensely, called him Monkey Boy, and asked him to come get him. Masters made his way toward the parking lot. Edge said he is a bigger superstar than all five Smackdown stars combined. He said he is a star on the rise, whereas JBL is a has-been on his way down.

Masters approached JBL in the parking lot. JBL took off his jacket. He told him he just fell for the oldest trick in the book. JBL got in his limo as Masters looked confused. Rey Mysterio then attacked Edge and Lita. He gave Lita a 619. Rey then bailed out into the crowd. Lawler and Coach said the Smackdown wrestlers have no business on Raw.

[Commercial Break]

2 — VICTORIA vs. MICKIE JAMES

Victoria beat on Mickie until 2:30, then Mickie made a comeback. Torrie tripped Mickie rebounding off the ropes. Victoria then set up a suplex. Mickie reversed it with a small package. Torrie distracted the ref as Candice Michelle rolled Victoria onto Mickie. Trish, though, rolled Mickie back on top for the win as Ashley distracted the ref.

WINNER: Mikki at 3:30.

STAR RATING: 1/2*

[Commercial Break]

-Vince McMahon walked out for the heavily-hyped big announcement. He said when J.R. was fired, he decided to hire Coach. Vince said, “I always knew that J.R. was full of crap.” This coming from someone who’s been hospitalized for diverticulosis twice. He said if God wanted to give Earth an enema, he’d stick the tube right into Fresno. He said, “Enough with the toilet humor.” Millions of WWE fans have been waiting to hear McMahon say that for years. McMahon said it’s traditional when someone has surgery, it’s traditional for WWE cameras to be there. McMahon said the footage is graphic because, “well, after all, we are talking about a bowel blockage.” He introduced footage from Harborview Medical Center.

They showed a skit of McMahon dressed as a doctor talking to a man in a J.R. cowboy hat, but they didn’t show his face. They showed a fake butt that looked a lot more like the nurses fake breasts. He listened to Ross’s insides and heard the Oklahoma fight song, a toilet flushing, and gurgling sounds. The nurse squirted lube on his rubber gloves and then shoved his hand into Ross’s behind. He pulled out a bottle of J.R.’s BBQ sauce. He then pulled out a football.

Between each reach-in, they played Rossisms, such as “This is going to be physical!” and “What the hell is that?” A stuffed owl came out next. McMahon used a plunger and pulled out a bloody Halloween hand gimmick. Vince then pulled out a gold fish in a bag. He finally asked for “the instrument,” which was a cane. “I don’t often use this, only with special cases,” he said. They played Ross screaming, “My god! My god!” Vince said he could see all the way inside. Out popped an OU helmet. The Oklahoma fight song then played. Vince then used a jackhammer. “You can see all the way to China!” said Vince. Out came a Stone Cold Steve Austin doll. A loop played of Ross saying, “Stone Cold! Stone Cold!” He then used a “Jaws of Life” to pry him open, then out came a J.R. head. “It’s J.R.’s head!” Vince said, “We’ve solved the problem. You’ve had your head up your ass. We’ve had a successful operation.” He said it’s time to release tension and then picked up the nurse and set her onto the operating table. He then rubbed his face in her chest.

Someone’s sense of humor ceased developing after ninth grade. USA Network likes characters. They got one. He’s in control of a two-hour weekly sports entertainment show and he’s got the maturity of a 14-year-old with a new camcorder with a group of friends who took a few swigs of his parents’s liquor. The skit lasted seven minutes. So far on the show, there has been eleven-and-a-half minutes of wrestling action.

-Back to the ring live, the crowd was booing. McMahon said, “Based on the reaction I got when I walked out here, I would suggest that J.R.’s condition is contagious. I would suggest each and every one of you have your head up your ass.” Vince then danced his way out of the ring. Lawler said, “I want to forget that if I possibly can.”

[Commercial Break]

3 — LANCE CADE & TREVOR MURDOCH vs. HURRICANE & ROSEY

Coach and Lawler said that the two wrestlers who are not voted into the WWE Title match at Taboo Tuesday will team up to wrestle Cade & Murdoch for the tag titles. Rosey walked to the ring alone and looked back, confused by Hurricane’s absence. As Rosey began fighting alone, Hurricane walked out without his Hurricane costume. Coach and Lawler talked about his name being Gregory Helms. Lawler asked, “What’s up with that?” Helms shook his head, as if he was unimpressed by Rosey’s performance in the match. Coach took a moment to congratulate Vince McMahon. Lawler said he hoped Ross wasn’t watching from home. Cade and Murdoch finished off Rosey with the High-Low, redubbed the “Sweet and Sour” by Murdoch and Cade. Helms kept watching from the stage.

WINNERS: Cade & Murdoch at 3:30.

STAR RATING: 3/4*

[Commercial Break]

4 — JOHN CENA vs. KURT ANGLE — Mick Foley special referee

Foley came out first to his music in sweatt pants and a striped button-up shirt. Cena showed great fire early, clearing hte ring of Angle. The crowd was mixed, some booing and others cheering. They cut to a break at 2:00.

[Commercial Break]

Angle dominated after the break, building toward a Cena comeback. Cena surprised Angle with a schoolboy for a near fall at 8:30. He followed with a sunset flip for another two count. Angle controlled Cena for another two minutes on the mat. Cena made another full comeback. Carlito got into a fight with Foley at ringside. He gave Foley a neckbreaker at ringside. Coach said, “He may have broken Foley’s neck.” Cena did his whole finishing routine with no referee. Eric Bischoff ran to the ring in a ref shurt. As Cena went for an FU, Bischoff interfered, allowed Angle to hit a back suplex. Bischoff then made fast counts. Cena turned to yell at Bischoff. Angle then applied the Anklelock on Cena. Bischoff yelled in Cena’s face, “You will tap! You will tap!” Cena reached for the bottom rope, but Bischoff shoved his hand to the mat. Bischoff then signalled that as a tapout and called for the bell.

WINNER: Angle at 14:15 via “tapout.”

STAR RATING: *** — Formula but good enough for a TV main event.