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CALDWELL'S WWE SATURDAY SLAM RESULTS 3/16: First GM announced, The Dazzler vs. The Show-Off, Dancing Bears

Mar 16, 2013 - 11:05:51 AM
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WWE Saturday Morning Slam Results
March 16, 2013
Aired on CW - Episode #30
Report by James Caldwell, PWTorch assistant editor


This week's Saturday Slam show started with a preview of WWE determining the first-ever Saturday Morning Slam GM on this week's show.

In-ring: Booker T was standing by to break down the Slam GM process. Booker said after a long deliberation process, he has found the perfect GM. He said this man is a former WWE champion and future Hall of Famer, Mick Foley.

Out came Foley dressed in a suit, prompting Heath Slater to freak out on commentary. Josh Mathews tried to calm down Slater as Foley hit the ring to receive his role. Foley milked a "Foley, Foley" chant before saying he's so honored that the Board of Directors has chosen him to be Slam GM. Foley vowed to make the show more exciting and more unpredictable than ever.

Daniel Bryan's music interrupted and out came The Dazzler. Bryan congratulated Foley, but said he should be running this show. Bryan said he did everything right - paperwork, interviews, even combed his hair. Foley responded that it might have something to do with Bryan's unresolved anger issues. "I DO NOT HAVE ANGER ISSUES!" Bryan replied, proving Foley's point. Foley said Bryan does have passion, though. And he might be looking for that kind of passion for a potential Assistant GM of Saturday Slam. "Really?" Bryan excitedly asked.

Next out was Dolph Ziggler to interrupt the proceedings. Ziggler was joined by A.J. Lee and Big E. Langston to offer their thoughts on this discussion. Ziggler said this whole scene is tragic; A.J. said it's all ridiculous. A.J. said they should be running this show. "No!" Bryan shouted. "Yes!" from Dolph & A.J. Back and forth they went. Foley had enough. He then got an "amazing idea." Foley said as his first act, he will make a match - Bryan vs. Ziggler and that match will take place right now.

[Commercial Break]

Coming back from break, World Hvt. champion Alberto Del Rio provided this week's Don't Try This At Home message.

1 -- WWE tag champion DANIEL BRYAN vs. DOLPH ZIGGLER (w/A.J. Lee and Big E. Langston)

The bell sounded back from break and Ziggler did some showing off. So, Bryan ducked a clothesline and did some showing off of his own, causing Ziggler to freak out. Bryan then shot Ziggler off into the ropes, but Zigs hooked the ropes and dipped to the outside for a strategy session. Bryan kicked Ziggler in the chest following Dolph's return, then set up for and applied a Surfboard Stretch center-ring. Big E. was unmoved by this, while Slater implored A.J. to do something.

Bryan eventually released the hold, then kicked Ziggler in the chest. But, Dolph blocked a final kick and slapped on a headlock. Suddenly, they went through an elaborate duck, counter, run the ropes, avoid, duck, reverse sequence that concluded with Bryan shooting Ziggler to the outside. Bryan wanted to follow with a top-rope move to the outside, but Big and A.J. stood in front of Ziggler to cut off Bryan. Time for a break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, Ziggler was showing off in the ring, then he cut off Bryan's attempt to fight back with a hard clothesline. Bryan came back with a slingshot into the corner turnbuckle, then he pulled out a Frankensteiner and trapped Ziggler's shoulders to the mat for a quick three count. Bryan quickly left the ring to celebrate in Slater's face before celebrating on the outside. In the ring, Ziggler freaked out as Big E. tried to figure out what to do with all of his pent-up anger.

WINNER: The Dazzler at 8:21. One of the best Slam TV matches thus far with the wrestlers working within the format for the kids audience.

GM Office: Mick Foley brought in Tensai and Brodus Clay for a discussion. Foley said their dancing is inadequate and juvenile. Fortunately, he knows what they're lacking. Foley then busted out his Dude Love tie-dye shirt. Suddenly, Rosa Mendes interrupted (with Primo and Epico in the background) to yell at them for dancing. Foley straightened up and said, "Gracias, senorita." Foley translated that she appreciates the moves of the Three Dancing Bears. Or, she couldn't *bear* to watch them dance. Or, they *barely* know how to dance. All three laughed leading to break.

[Commercial Break]

Back from break, the voice-over man recapped Foley's booking so far: Bryan over Ziggler in a fantastic match and now the main event tag match.

In-ring: Rosa was center-ring flanked by Primo and Epico before Tensai and Clay made their way to the ring with Cameron and Naomi to get in some dancing on the show. Slater was unmoved, calling them out on missing their dance steps.

2 -- BRODUS CLAY & TENSAI vs. PRIMO & EPICO (w/Rosa Mendes)

Tensai started off against Epico, who foolishly attempted a bodyslam. Tensai brushed that aside, then kneed Epico in the gut. He even attempted a sunset flip, but Epico punted him in the gut. This brought in Primo to cover Tensai for a two count. Primo then completely missed with an elbow from the second rope, which allowed Tensai to tag in Brodus Clay.

Clay with a t-bone suplex, then he measured Primo for a big corner splash. Clay tried to finish things off with the big splash, but Epico broke up a pin. Primo suddenly found himself caught in the middle, leading to a Dancing Bears sandwich. This was followed by a double splash and it was good for the win.

After the match, Tensai and Clay celebrated via dance in the ring before Mathews narrated a replay of Primo finding himself in a rough spot for the finish. The winners and dancers then danced to close the show.

WINNERS: Tensai & Clay at 2:35. Basic reinforcement of the Tensai & Clay duo.


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